Diablo 2 Lord Of Destruction Battle Report 5

After successfully fixing the town’s plumbing, I decide that Emilio and I are going to head out into the desert for some fun adventure time! As we head out of the safety of the town’s gates, and into the desert, I am surrounded by bipedal javelin-wielding cats, giant man-eating electricity bugs, and birds...

I hate birds…


Save me Emilio!

Luckily, my large bank of stamina from pumping pure vitality allows me to outrun them all quite easily all the way to the Halls of the Dead.


I am quite surprised as I enter to see that I am surrounded by the dead.

“Who’d have thought there were dead things in the Halls of the Dead?” I ask Emilio. He shrugs at me and viciously stabs at a bunch of skeletons. Typical Emilio…

After many a minute of searching, Emilio and I find the cube room, and he starts stabbing everything inside to satisfy his thirst for blood.



“You’re not gonna find any blood in those skeletons, Emilio,” I told him. But he insisted that if he just stabbed a few more things, he’d find some. Luckily, there were some cats in there for him to poke at so he wasn’t disappointed. He cleared the room and I grabbed the cube.


Our next destination was sure to be my favorite. I mean, who doesn’t love crawling through the Maggot Lair, filled with electricity bugs, poisonous sand maggots, locust swarms (I forgot about these guys) and the like.

Emilio and I exited the Halls of the Dead through the front entrance on our journey to the maggot lair because SOMEBODY (Emilio) forgot to get the waypoint before going in first.

Unfortunately, we were ambushed once again upon exiting the Halls. The cats had followed me here and were waiting for me.


Luckily Emilio loves being ambushed, because it means he doesn’t have to run toward his enemies to slaughter them. We took care of the threat and wandered into the Far Oasis. Swarms of bugs filled the area, and Emilio and I ran past them until we stumbled upon a deep hole in the ground.


Noooooooooo!

I could tell this was going to be a very taxing and difficult journey when I went in. Emilio kept getting lost in the tunnels, and I had no way of making sure he stayed right behind me (so I could protect him, of course).

My first obstacle was a sand maggot, blocking my path. Brilliance struck when I decided to invest one of my many unused skill points into leap, so that I could pass without Emilio’s help.


This journey was far from over though. With my luck, I’d be stuck here for days until...oh, there’s the next exit.


Well, luck was on my side that time. But I can’t depend on being that lucky a secon...oh, there’s the next exit again. Hot damn!

Check those minimaps!

If the Maggot Lair had been a large security complex with guards stationed everywhere ready to shoot all trespassers, I had just walked right in through the front door undetected. A total of three enemies were slain by Emilio and I making our way to the third level. Upon reaching our final level though, we were swarmed by black locusts! Emilio kept sticking his pole into the swarms, thinking it would help.


Somehow, stabbing at the air that all the locusts were flying in seemed to kill them pretty good. We passed through into the sand maggot queen room. They had no idea we had even infiltrated their premises when we struck!


Utilizing the element of surprise (which gave us bonus sneak-damage), Emilio and I made short work of everything in there. Those bugs didn’t even know they were dead until we had finished stabbing them!


I congratulated Emilio on his badassery and went back to town after pocketing the Staff of Kings (which rightfully belonged to me). He deserved a reward, so I bought him some expensive armor for his good work.

16000 gold!?! I could buy twenty Emilios for that price!

We warped back to the Far Oasis (I remembered to get the waypoint this time!) and ran into the Lost City, which was filled with zombies and mutants. Their general lack of intelligence showed when I wandered around. Houses were torn apart, bugs everywhere! The whole place was a mess. This was no city. I can only imagine that the large towers they erected that shot fire in every direction helped destroy everything, to their dismay. I left immediately, did not recommend that place to friends, and went inside the giant snake tomb hotel instead.

This looks like a good place to stay.

The hospitality was nice. The locals there greeted me by tackling me multiple times. An odd custom, I thought, but I accepted them and showed them how Emilio greets people.

Wait, Emilio, nooo!

Emilio greeted them a bit too hard though, and no amount of prayer was able to bring back those poor locals. To avoid any more casualties from Emilio’s misplaced bloodlust, I made the decision to run past everyone else as quickly as I could. Locals that I had passed by had taken their toll on my health. By the time I had reached the next room, my health was running a tad low.


Emilio and I went forth to greet the rest of the locals in this room when we saw that they were performing a satanic ritual! Large pillars stood surrounding a raised platform in the middle of the room, and blood was everywhere. I made the quick decision to interrupt their ritual by rushing to tackle them. I looked by my side and was happy to see Emilio come to the same conclusion that I did.


We pushed forward, slaying the cultists as they came. They were strong though, and they pushed us back to the entrance.


We finally managed to defeat them, and end whatever they were planning to do. I walked over to the platform they used for sacrifices and destroyed it. Light burst forth upon doing so, and I was showered in gold. Oh, and the amulet I was looking for.




I picked it up, duct-taped it onto the Staff of Kings, and miraculously transformed it into the Horadric Staff I needed.


Emilio’s bloodlust was satisfied...for now.