I'm a student in a master's degree and I am currently working on my thesis, which will be ready for my graduation in October. I will then apply for a PhD position abroad and hopefully leave my country in September 2015. Meanwhile, I got a very interesting job offer that could go along very well with my current plans. I could get a good wage and continue working on my thesis 1/2 hours a day when I return home from work.
The big deal is that the employer explicitly told me that I must cut my hair to get the job. My hair is not that long - it doesn't touch my shoulders, I'd say it is neck long. To most of you this may sound ridicolous, but this thing is disturbing me to an absurd level. I keep my hair this way since I was 14 (I'm 24 now): I didn't cut it during my exchange program in Finland, I didn't cut it when I lived in Spain, I didn't cut it when I did thai boxing, I didn't cut it to please any girlfriend. It's not simply about the looks: I consider it a part of me. Cutting my hair to me is like starting wearing sport clothes when you have always used a suit. I wouldn't feel myself. I kept my hair for 10 years and now I should cut it to please a 60 years old man who thinks that you can't look serious without short hair.
I have few days to decide. Is this also common in other countries? If I'd be an employer, I would look for people's competence, not for their looks. I feel like I'm living inside a 1950's joke, but my calendar says we're in 2014
On March 14 2014 20:41 beef42 wrote: Obviously that employer is full of shit, but on the other hand, do you want the job or not? He is the one paying and all.
That's the point. I would like it, mainly because I would get indipendent from my family, but I'm wondering if rich/sad is better than poor/happy.
I don't have a picture of me here, but I can post one which is 99% similar to the look I have (actually less bangs, my eyes are visible, just a bit of forehead is covered):
That's pretty long dude. Now I completely sympathise, having had long hair for ages (~15 years) (getting shit from my family for the entire time) and only going for a bit shorter when my hair got thinner (age ) . But don't kid yourself, your employer is right. Just take your own suit example. If you had been wearing T-shirts for your entire life, the manager of a bank would still ask you to wear a suit. Even if he does not care about anything but your competence, he knows that customers/ co workers etc. do. First (namely visual) impressions are important simply because everybody uses them and for good reason. They're fast and even surprisingly accurate considering the effort you put into them (none).
If this is really a deal breaker for you, then you might want to try to find out what is still acceptable/ counts as "short" and ask yourself if you could live with that. ( I went from ~your length to covering the ears, can't headbang with that shit but hey, hair dries in about 15 minutes, hurray! )
Well, the thing about hair is it grows. I've cycled between so many different haircuts, some of them worse than others, that I don't really mind when someone requests I get a certain cut. You don't really lose the hair since it'll come back eventually. Unless you're going bald THEN SAVOR EVERY MOMENT OF IT
You could always work there and then grow it again once you leave the job in 2015 or something. That's just 1.5 years with short hair. If the job is good enough, it should be worth cutting your hair for. If it isn't then don't. I can understand that it sounds like a ridiculous requirement, but if it's part of a uniform, he has every right to demand it.
On March 14 2014 21:09 Monsen wrote: That's pretty long dude. Now I completely sympathise, having had long hair for ages (~15) (getting shit from my family for the entire time) and only going for a bit shorter when my hair got thinner (age ) . But don't kid yourself, your employer is right. Just take your own suit example. If you had been wearing T-shirts for your entire life, the manager of a bank would still ask you to wear a suit. Even if he does not care about anything but your competence, he knows that customers/ co workers etc. do. First (namely visual) impressions are important simply because everybody uses them and for good reason. They're fast and even surprisingly accurate considering the effort you put into them (none).
If this is really a deal breaker for you, then you might want to try to find out what is still acceptable/ counts as "short" and ask yourself if you could live with that. ( I went from ~your length to covering the ears, can't headbang with that shit but hey, hair dries in about 15 minutes, hurray! )
Your comment gave me a different perspective I didn't think of. I could invent something to have my hair keep a 'longish' style but cutting a bit. I believe the main problem is the side/back part, because I've seen employees with hair like this, which I do not consider exactly short:
I had to shorten my hair for my job so I can sort of relate (I didn't need to cut off as much as you do though). It's one of those things that my mind made out to be a big deal until 10 minutes after the haircut and then it was fine. Don't worry, my job requires shorter hair than yours does.
I say, scew it! :D In my own, slightly comparable situation, I play in a well-rumoured Big Band, where everyone in the environment's got short hair and slick clothes. Although, I kinda got the same hair length like you, and wear metal band-shirts. There is no pressure for me to change my looks tho, but I guess my point is; don't be zerg! You shouldn't feel forced to assimilate to the environment if you are already happy with yourself they way you are
Uh lol, what did you expect? If it is a job in a bank, of course you have to fit in there. Seriously, if you ever want to work in that sort of business, get used to it. You can't show up in shirts, flipflops and dreadlocks there...
On March 14 2014 23:03 mahrgell wrote: Uh lol, what did you expect? If it is a job in a bank, of course you have to fit in there. Seriously, if you ever want to work in that sort of business, get used to it. You can't show up in shirts, flipflops and dreadlocks there...
You're right, but I don't wear t-shirts, flipflops, or have dreadlocks. I'm dressed as any other employees, but my hair is 10 centimeter longer. I don't think that's fair.
Certain jobs require a certain image, especially when it comes to professionalism. It's the stereotype and better for advertising, regardless of how great of a person or worker you may be. It comes with the job. In the same way you may need to wear a uniform or dress up, you may need to cut long hair, remove piercings, and cover up tattoos. Depends on the occupation, but if this is as great an opportunity as it sounds, it's probably in your best interest to suck it up and cut your hair.
But do what you want. If you care more about your hair than this opportunity, then don't get a haircut. It's up to you.
Do you want to fight for social justice or do you want to make a living?
If you're working with customers this is very standard for a lot of places, especially when hiring. You have to fit a certain image, the same reason you have to maintain a certain amount of hygiene and wear a certain type of clothes. One might not like wearing a dress shirts or suits, but sometimes that's just part of the job and looking professional. I agree that this is sexism, but it is less the company being sexist and more the company trying to appeal to a sexist society.
For me, I think this is one of those small things you just have to let go or you're not going to survive. I also prefer my hair to be a mediumish length, but I will cut it for job interviews because I know that's the image they are looking for. I think you should consider it a favour that the person interviewing is reasonable enough to tell you this is what they were looking for, rather than ignoring your real qualifications and going to the next person with better hair.
Unless you think this is something offensive enough to be worth fighting for and campaigning for laws to protect men who wish to have long hair, I think you should just let it go. You're angry because you don't understand why it should be this way, but I don't think you're angry that it's really inconvenient or troublesome for you.
EPT
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