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East Gorteau22261 Posts
Over the past few weeks, I've been dedicating every free second of my day (which unfortunately doesn't amount to very much at present) to writing about things distinctly non-Starcraft. I've written a blog or two in the past about writing fiction (leaning toward high fantasy and hard science fiction, á la Steven Erikson or Peter F Hamilton) and believe it or not, every idea I had back then has been scrapped, rewritten, rescrapped and finally forgotten as I realised that they were all probably terrible at the core.
This time though (and I feel like I'm about to curse myself when saying this), I've gotten some 100,000 words into the initial draft and I feel differently about this story compared to the other ones I've written (and failed horribly with) - there is a different flow to my writing and the ideas come naturally and in sequence rather than sporadically or only when forced. This has made me incredibly enthusiastic about the writing process, which has led to more writing and more ideas, which has slowly but surely come together.
So, since very few of my friends share my set of interests when it comes to reading and writing in general, I would like to humbly ask if anyone would be interested in reading some of what I've written so far.
I have no illusion of any of it (besides perhaps the core ideas) being extremely good or even fairly good, but I firmly believe that the first step to becoming good at anything is sticking with it, so I'd love to receive some feedback from intelligent people who may share a few of my interests in the genre. For "security" reasons, I would like to avoid sending the draft to everyone and everything without knowing who exactly is reliable, and thus I'll probably have decline offers from peoplethat I'm not very familiar with (though I would still greatly appreciate any advice you may have to share! <3).
Anyway, as for the story in itself, here is a general outline of what you can expect:
- Set in a pre-industrial, sort-of medieval-ish high fantasy world. The main plot plays out in a small island kingdom to the east of the world's only continent. There is some interaction between the island kingdom in question (nicknamed Dissentia for now) and the main continent, but to limit the scope I've minimised the amount of active interaction to make sure things don't get out of hand or too hard to follow
- Character-driven plot first and foremost, with a focus on the struggle of power taking place in the Order Templari, Dissentia's largest military organisation. The major players in the Order, the Families, seek to outmaneuver one another by employing a full bag of dirty tricks and political coups. Think Game of Thrones for reference but with a higher degree of cataclysm.
- Graphic. Violence isn't Disney.
- Might be hard to follow. I made a conscious choice not to reveal how everything came to be what it is at present in the story, and as a reader you will (sometimes) know less than the characters themselves.
Without spoiling anything, this is pretty much what I can tell you about the setting and the story. If you're interested, I'd love to hear from you and I would really appreciate some reader feedback - there is only so much I can tell myself.
Will it be terrible? MAYBE. PROBABLY. I DON'T KNOW
 
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I'm almost to the end of writing the first full draft of my first novel, I can completely empathise about the writing, re-writing, scrapping and rescrapping hundreds of ideas. Mine is a sci-fi time travel novel, which by its very nature is complicated and so it took me a long time of hashing a rehashing ideas about 1)how they would achieve time travel and 2)how to make it all make sense, let alone the characters, plot etc. I have somewhere in the region of 60 docs with differing ideas and attempts at a first draft, its quite instructive to read back through them from time to time as there are always little gems that you can use in the final work. I've been at it for almost 5 years now!
Good luck to you with your work, it's a long and arduous path but one well worth taking. I have no illusions that my own work will ever be read by a large audience but the experience of writing a novel is extremely fun and mentally challenging and that is its own reward. I would offer to read yours but I'm not greatly in to fantasy save for Harry Potter and the Inheritance Cycle (Eragon) and therefore I would probably get bored, no matter how good or bad your writing is.
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i am like Karl Kraus, you know, best reviews eu.
to prove my reliability, please check out my flawless moderation history.
gl with the story
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I wouldn't mind taking a lot. I've been finding myself reading a lot of random books on my Kindle lately... just from unknown part-time authors and the like. Some of them are decent, and have great potential, while others make some silly mistakes and it just seems like they lack someone to be their editor. I am personally awful at writing, but as someone who reads a decent amount I feel like I have a pretty good idea of what works and what does not work (at least what works in my opinion  )... As far as what I read... I don't read nearly as much SciFi as I would like, been trying to read more Heinlein lately, he's got some good shit. On the fantasy front I definitely prefer Jordan/Sanderson to Tolkien.
Some of the random stuff I've read lately:
The Atopia Chronicles (This was pretty good actually, I'll be looking forward to future works)
A Quest of Heroes (First book in the Sorcerer's Ring series, don't think I'll continue it though...)
Further: Beyond the Threshold (This one was okay, but had a lot of annoyances that could have been fixed by an editor)
The Last Swordmage (First book in Swordmage Trilogy, This one had some flaws but overall decent, will read the 2nd book soon)
Legends of Muirwood series (Not bad, had it's ups and downs, a little too religious for my tastes)
The Broken God Machine (This was pretty interesting, worth a read, made me want to read his other works...)
The Blood That Binds (Speaking of other works... this was just awful... nothing but sex with no real content, had to force myself to finish)
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I have a physics midterm in 4 days and this sounds like an excellent waste of time! Id live to read it.
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United Kingdom31935 Posts
I would love to read it  always love reading and it sounds interesting. :D
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United Kingdom31935 Posts
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United States23455 Posts
I volunteer myself in service of your writing.
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This sounds intriguing. I don't fit the 'very familiar with' criteria, but I'd be interested to read an extract or two. Feel free to PM me if you're up for it.
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If you don't mind me asking, when you say character driven how would you describe the scope of main characters (don't know how to phrase it better ;P) more Final Fantasy (core group, rest important but less explored) or Game of Thrones (100 main characters)? I'm asking because I'm a little meh on stories where it's hard to define the protagonist/-nists,
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I wouldn't mind reading some, would be a good way to spend my breaks at school
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East Gorteau22261 Posts
On February 10 2014 05:33 McRatyn wrote:
If you don't mind me asking, when you say character driven how would you describe the scope of main characters (don't know how to phrase it better ;P) more Final Fantasy (core group, rest important but less explored) or Game of Thrones (100 main characters)? I'm asking because I'm a little meh on stories where it's hard to define the protagonist/-nists,
Keeping spoilers to a minimum, you could say that I've divided the main characters into four "groups". Occasionally the groups will interact, split, rearrange and find themselves pitted against each other, but there are several different reoccuring characters that play key roles that won't all be together all the time or might even find themselves fighting against each other.
So, more of the Game of Thrones variant than a cast like The Belgarion or the Inheritance Cycle.
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I'd be happy to give feedback.
Is this a self-contained story or the beginning of a series, and are you looking for writing/content suggestions or editing?
I was immersed in fantasy books for much of my young life, though it's petered out a bit since finishing school and working in DC 
It would be great to help with something like this
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East Gorteau22261 Posts
On February 10 2014 06:01 tili wrote:I'd be happy to give feedback. Is this a self-contained story or the beginning of a series, and are you looking for writing/content suggestions or editing? I was immersed in fantasy books for much of my young life, though it's petered out a bit since finishing school and working in DC It would be great to help with something like this
I'm really fond of the world I've created. Initially I was thinking several standalones set in the same world but separate from each other, but I decided to divide the story into at least (two) parts instead. Whether I'll expand that or not, who knows, but I'd like to write at least two.
As for suggestions, I'm somewhat open to ideas. I have a fairly good idea of how everything is going to play out in my head that I'm sticking to, but I'd never say no to different ideas.
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4713 Posts
I admire your dedication and passion and would be honored to help you.
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One question: Is one of the main charakters inspired by life?
Whatever your answer to this is, i would love to read it
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I'll help! Always good to have some outside input
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Would read and critique as well, especially after the erikson and hamilton
My qualifications include having been one of the judges on the annual broodwar.de short story contest and having read through the Ghormengast trilogy.
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I'd be curious to read it, sure.
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Sounds interesting. Make sure to add a bunch of weird stuff, and it will at least, well..., weird.
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I'd be glad to give it a read.
I get the Game of Thrones reference, but how would you place yourself along the spectrum with GoT with a more 'macro-view' of political maneuvering and, say, Lies of Locke Lamora with a more nuts and bolts description.
I haven't been very 'visible' but if you have 'security concerns' as it were I'd be happy to discuss over PM to allay any fears. I'm a quick reader with time on my hands.
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Netherlands6181 Posts
Gogo Zealously, we all want to see ^_^
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1001 YEARS KESPAJAIL22272 Posts
i used to write fantasy and scifi when i was younger, like 10-15 years ago, despite the fact i never ever read any fantasy or sci fi
you probs don't want my opinion
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I read a lot, and I would be happy to take a look at it. I do enjoy some high fantasy and sci-fi (tolkein and asimov are among my favorite authors), but I wouldn't call myself an aficionado of the genre. If you want a look from someone who is a little critical of the genre in general, I'd be good to read it. If you only want to look at hard core sci-fi/fantasy fans, you probably want someone else.
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Allow me to read it and give advice about the progression of the plot, the tempo and interaction between characters as a last resort. I can swiftly read through long pieces of writing and process the core ideas.
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You should get your writing/s read by a professional editor before scrapping them. Speaking from experience, because my gf is writing a book at the moment. It is completely typical for a book to look/read like trash for several drafts. An editor can tell you if there actually is a good book somewhere amidst the initial ramblings.
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This sounds cool, good luck with it and keep it up i am sure the 318th version will be great
As someone who isn´t much in reading but loves well done settings or better "worlds" i have a question:
Why is "Dissentia" located on a "small" island? Is there a reason for it to make it an island instead of a for some reason isolated, continental country?
The reason i am asking is because i see potential problems with that, at least how i am imagining a potential story with this "kinda medieval, kingdom" setting because if you look at real history, there are 3 types of islands.
The first one realized that they will only "grow" and get more power if they are expanding and opening up, for example england.
The second usually never develops in a medieval state and stays at a tribe/hunting/collecting society, for example North America or Australia (not small islands but both were isolated in the "real" medieval). The point were they developed were when foreigners arrived.
The last type is just too small or to insignificant geographically to be important and more crucial in this case more interesting.
If i am understanding the preview correctly you want to keep it relatively small in terms of scale but i think the choice of an island can be problematic because it limits possibilities without gaining something. For example you write it, its really cool and one of the main characters comes out to be victorious and is the great super smart leader ready to conquer the world in the next book. But shit he is stuck on a small island  .
At least in my mind a continental setting could open more options if you want someday go to a bigger scale, i am thinking for example of East Germany with the Berlin wall in terms of isolation that could be a nice starting point.
But please don't take it as critics or anything it is just a question from someone who has no idea how to write something like that.
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On February 10 2014 04:04 Zealously wrote:
The main plot plays out in a small island kingdom to the east of the world's only continent.
I dunno man, island stories usually turn out quite imbalanced. Best of luck though.
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Your description has enticed me, and I haven't read non-fiction in quite a while.
I'd love to give it a go!
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East Gorteau22261 Posts
Thanks for your offers guys, I'll get back to you via PM soonish
On February 10 2014 13:01 elt wrote:
I'd be glad to give it a read.
I get the Game of Thrones reference, but how would you place yourself along the spectrum with GoT with a more 'macro-view' of political maneuvering and, say, Lies of Locke Lamora with a more nuts and bolts description.
I haven't been very 'visible' but if you have 'security concerns' as it were I'd be happy to discuss over PM to allay any fears. I'm a quick reader with time on my hands.
I'd definitely say I'm leaning more toward a macro perspective.
On February 10 2014 18:45 Micro_Jackson wrote:This sounds cool, good luck with it and keep it up i am sure the 318th version will be great As someone who isn´t much in reading but loves well done settings or better "worlds" i have a question: Why is "Dissentia" located on a "small" island? Is there a reason for it to make it an island instead of a for some reason isolated, continental country? The reason i am asking is because i see potential problems with that, at least how i am imagining a potential story with this "kinda medieval, kingdom" setting because if you look at real history, there are 3 types of islands. The first one realized that they will only "grow" and get more power if they are expanding and opening up, for example england. The second usually never develops in a medieval state and stays at a tribe/hunting/collecting society, for example North America or Australia (not small islands but both were isolated in the "real" medieval). The point were they developed were when foreigners arrived. The last type is just too small or to insignificant geographically to be important and more crucial in this case more interesting. If i am understanding the preview correctly you want to keep it relatively small in terms of scale but i think the choice of an island can be problematic because it limits possibilities without gaining something. For example you write it, its really cool and one of the main characters comes out to be victorious and is the great super smart leader ready to conquer the world in the next book. But shit he is stuck on a small island . At least in my mind a continental setting could open more options if you want someday go to a bigger scale, i am thinking for example of East Germany with the Berlin wall in terms of isolation that could be a nice starting point. But please don't take it as critics or anything it is just a question from someone who has no idea how to write something like that.
There is a direct explanation for the island (Dissentia is actually made up of several islands) being small. Society didn't develop on the islands by itself but came there from across the sea. The descendants of the original inhabitants play roles similar to how the native americans live in America today. I suppose you could draw a parallell to the way North America developed after Columbus discovered it, with colonisation and everything that came with it.
With the risk of going into spoiler territory for anyone remotely interested, there is a historical reason that the islands are small and that Dissentia is losing power on the global stage. It didn't just kind of happen. This also ties in with the internal struggles between the major political players who all want to take what power there is to be had, much more limited than in the past.
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I would love to read and critique as well. I go through alot of books very fast, so I'm constantly at a lack of things to read. I think I've read through a good portion of fantasy books out there right now.
I'm not sure what I can put up as qualifications though...
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On February 10 2014 19:22 Zealously wrote:Thanks for your offers guys, I'll get back to you via PM soonish Show nested quote +On February 10 2014 13:01 elt wrote:
I'd be glad to give it a read.
I get the Game of Thrones reference, but how would you place yourself along the spectrum with GoT with a more 'macro-view' of political maneuvering and, say, Lies of Locke Lamora with a more nuts and bolts description.
I haven't been very 'visible' but if you have 'security concerns' as it were I'd be happy to discuss over PM to allay any fears. I'm a quick reader with time on my hands. I'd definitely say I'm leaning more toward a macro perspective. Show nested quote +On February 10 2014 18:45 Micro_Jackson wrote:This sounds cool, good luck with it and keep it up i am sure the 318th version will be great As someone who isn´t much in reading but loves well done settings or better "worlds" i have a question: Why is "Dissentia" located on a "small" island? Is there a reason for it to make it an island instead of a for some reason isolated, continental country? The reason i am asking is because i see potential problems with that, at least how i am imagining a potential story with this "kinda medieval, kingdom" setting because if you look at real history, there are 3 types of islands. The first one realized that they will only "grow" and get more power if they are expanding and opening up, for example england. The second usually never develops in a medieval state and stays at a tribe/hunting/collecting society, for example North America or Australia (not small islands but both were isolated in the "real" medieval). The point were they developed were when foreigners arrived. The last type is just too small or to insignificant geographically to be important and more crucial in this case more interesting. If i am understanding the preview correctly you want to keep it relatively small in terms of scale but i think the choice of an island can be problematic because it limits possibilities without gaining something. For example you write it, its really cool and one of the main characters comes out to be victorious and is the great super smart leader ready to conquer the world in the next book. But shit he is stuck on a small island . At least in my mind a continental setting could open more options if you want someday go to a bigger scale, i am thinking for example of East Germany with the Berlin wall in terms of isolation that could be a nice starting point. But please don't take it as critics or anything it is just a question from someone who has no idea how to write something like that. There is a direct explanation for the island (Dissentia is actually made up of several islands) being small. Society didn't develop on the islands by itself but came there from across the sea. The descendants of the original inhabitants play roles similar to how the native americans live in America today. I suppose you could draw a parallell to the way North America developed after Columbus discovered it, with colonisation and everything that came with it. With the risk of going into spoiler territory for anyone remotely interested, there is a historical reason that the islands are small and that Dissentia is losing power on the global stage. It didn't just kind of happen. This also ties in with the internal struggles between the major political players who all want to take what power there is to be had, much more limited than in the past.
That actually sounds quite interesting. I think i imagined it too much like the Iron Islands from Game of Thrones, which are the worst part of it in my opinion.
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I'd be happy to give it a go, I read about a dozen self published (amazon) fantasy/sci fi novels a year, so I have a pretty good idea of if it is in the good, bad or needs work category.
I can be a harsh critic (despite not being a great writer myself) so be warned, I will try to be as constructive as possible however.
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I'd offer to read as it sounds very interesting etc, but you seem to have plenty of candidates and I'm not sure what I can list as qualifications other than having read a LOT of Fantasy and Sci-Fi
So GL
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Count me in.
I'm in serious writing mode as well. Though I just completed law school, I'm putting in 1-2,000 words a day to finish this crime/thriller fiction manuscript. Perhaps we can do a swap and the differing genres will serve as a refreshing break for both of us.
I also happen to be a huge fan of fantasy/sci-fi. If someone's written a book (good or bad) in those genres, I've at least heard of them or have something of theirs on my reading list.
If anything, I think it'd be nice for us to keep each other accountable and sane. A serious writer's existence can be a bit lonely/crazy. Even if you have many supportive people in your corner, don't you sometimes feel like you drank down a shitty cocktail of doubt/fear/despair? I've had sleepless nights from wondering if anything I'm producing is worth a bent coin.
Of course, there's nothing else I'd rather do and no other skill I'd rather dedicate my life to mastering so there go my other options...
Hit me up if you wanna talk Or share.
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Hey if you need anymore readers, I would be happy to give you some feedback, even if I have three big exams coming up, I'm a fast reader so I should be able to find some time to read, if I think it's interesting. I also think I give decent feedback
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I am volunteering out of different reasons . First thing is, I am always interested in that kind of literature (guess it's time to out myself as a LARPing guy?). Second, I have studied some semestres of history, therefore my interest in medieval-ish things is even greater (why am I even watching Starcraft?). Third thing is, I really love reading your write-ups and comments (although you warned me for a balance whine ). So, if you want to give me a shot, don't hesitate to PM me.
I am also writing some stuff myself (though I wouldn't dare to give it to anyone else since I'm kinda ashamed of the quality), though it is in german only.
Last, but not least, a helpful tip: there is a tool called the "Scrivener" which is used by movie script authors, authors in general etc. and is really great and helpful for writing in general. I don't know how you're rocking, but I got a Windows PC and a Macbook, so it sucks for me since one license is only valid for one OS (I discovered that the hard way ), but it may be useful!
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As a long time high-fantasy lover I'd be happy to give my unbiased opinion.
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Sure I'll read it. I've written a lot of prose and published some so I'd maybe be able to be of some help. Is it in quite a finished state or are you still quite rough?
Are you looking to prep it for publication or just get feedback on the story and style?
Either way, if you want I'm happy to read it.
P.S Won't steal, not a douche.
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East Gorteau22261 Posts
On February 11 2014 02:53 boxerfred wrote:I am volunteering out of different reasons . First thing is, I am always interested in that kind of literature (guess it's time to out myself as a LARPing guy?). Second, I have studied some semestres of history, therefore my interest in medieval-ish things is even greater (why am I even watching Starcraft?). Third thing is, I really love reading your write-ups and comments (although you warned me for a balance whine ). So, if you want to give me a shot, don't hesitate to PM me. I am also writing some stuff myself (though I wouldn't dare to give it to anyone else since I'm kinda ashamed of the quality), though it is in german only. Last, but not least, a helpful tip: there is a tool called the " Scrivener" which is used by movie script authors, authors in general etc. and is really great and helpful for writing in general. I don't know how you're rocking, but I got a Windows PC and a Macbook, so it sucks for me since one license is only valid for one OS (I discovered that the hard way ), but it may be useful!
I love you for linking that. Immensely helpful, thank you!
On February 11 2014 06:18 Piy wrote:
Sure I'll read it. I've written a lot of prose and published some so I'd maybe be able to be of some help. Is it in quite a finished state or are you still quite rough?
Are you looking to prep it for publication or just get feedback on the story and style?
Either way, if you want I'm happy to read it.
P.S Won't steal, not a douche.
It's kind of 50/50. I'm a little disorganised in my writing, so some chapters have been revised three times and are in what I would consider mostly finished states, while others are very rough (AKA unfinished) and full of question marks.
As for whether or not I'd like to prep for publication; I don't know. I would like to. I love the setting and I like the core plot, so I'll definitely keep building on it in another story if I decide against it. Right now though, I still need to get to the end of it and I'd like some feedback on a bit of everything before that point.
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I'm browsing TL drunk atm, but I would totally give it a go
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United States7483 Posts
I'm interested.
Lifelong fantasy/sci-fi reader who prefers character driven stories here.
EDIT: lot of writing experience and excellent grades in writing in college and english classes, so I've got skills.
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Austria24417 Posts
༼ つ ◕_◕༽つ GIVE PLS ༼ つ ◕_◕༽つ
No seriously, I've been doing similar stuff. I actually finished writing an entire book (300 pages in word) of a series I've got all planned out in my head. Fantasy as well. And I've been giving feedback to an american writer/friend of mine who's working with a professional editor and all (and said my suggestions/feedback have been really helpful). So yeah, definitely up for it!
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4713 Posts
I guess I should explain my background and experience.
First real literature I got into was due to school, romanian novels mostly, those are usually character driven but focus a lot on internal strife, problems of existentialism, guilt, deception and are usually set in a real world setting. I later got into high fantasy and sci-fi. The Lord of the Rings trilogy was my first foray into fantasy, thanks in part because I had it gifted to me, I followed up with a lot of Issac Asimov books at the advice of a friend, I fell in love with his Foundation series.
I don't read as much any more, as its hard to come by books not translated, I prefer to read something in its home language, as a lot of the expressiveness can be lost in translation. I am sort of restricted by time as well, but I could spare some every now and again for a good book or series.
Edit: DLO, that sounds awesome, I'd love to also be able to read your work some day.
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Eh, I really like reading your articles so I might as well read your story if you let me. ;p
I used to read a lot, literally tons of books (ok maybe not literally) and although I haven't read as much lately I'd be happy to give it a go.
Come to think of it, I've probably still read about 70 books in the last two years.
I did read some of the standard fantasy stuff like Lord of the Rings or Game of Thrones if that's a necessary qualification.
Also, I was never warned or banned for balance whine. Just saying.
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1001 YEARS KESPAJAIL22272 Posts
I bet Olli's novel is about Protoss and how they aren't imba
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Holy sweet lordy lord you read SE and you are writing high fantasy? I would love to read what you have written!
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On February 11 2014 13:38 lichter wrote:
I bet Olli's novel is about Protoss and how they aren't imba
You would need 300 pages for that.
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Also, I'm participating in LRSL EU, so I am the most trustworthy guy of all. Won't waste it!
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I would love to help you by reading it and giving feedback. I read a lot of fantasy and love to read!
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I'd love to read your story, PM me or send it to me however you plan to. I have absolutely zero qualifications other than being a huge fantasy/sci-fi fan, which I think is the kind of person you need.
Volunteering because I like the stuff you've written on TL so far.
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Austria24417 Posts
On February 11 2014 13:38 lichter wrote:
I bet Olli's novel is about Protoss and how they aren't imba
Brb, planning new story
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i'd love to read it
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If you haven't finished a first draft (ie. telling yourself what the story actually is, and where the characters lead the plot), I strongly believe you have no business showing it to anyone. Lots of conflicting feedback is going to muddle your writing in the creation phase and potentially detract from your creative vision.
Stephen King made a great point in his book On Writing, where he says you should write the first draft with your door firmly closed, then re-write the second draft with the door open.
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Pick me last if you still need people.
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I'd be willing to read the story, I love fantasy.
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I have a bit of free time coming up, if you are still looking for a reader I could probably do something though my time right now is pretty limited I would provide what feedback I could.
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I want to, the only issue is I don't know if I have time to actually give you legit feedback since I'm trying to formulate my own writing right now. Though I would love to read it .
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I find the plot a little bit alike to Isaac Asimov's Fundation, I've wanted to write some stuff on the past but im just bad... Good luck with that
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I find it a little bit alike Isaac Asimov's Fundation series, I've wanted to write some stuff myself but im just really bad, good luck with that!
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Sounds interesting. It's got potential at the least. I'm a creative writing major so I'm happy to help in anyway.
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Check this out. Its useful for first time writers as a loose idea of story progression. Your idea seems a bit complicated for it but if you can branch it to an overarching plot rather than an individual character it may be of use. Lester Dent Pulp Papers
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I'd love to read it too :D
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Papua New Guinea1059 Posts
Yea, I'm game to read it.
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EPT
