• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EDT 05:37
CEST 11:37
KST 18:37
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
Power Rank - Esports World Cup 202568RSL Season 1 - Final Week9[ASL19] Finals Recap: Standing Tall15HomeStory Cup 27 - Info & Preview18Classic wins Code S Season 2 (2025)16
Community News
Google Play ASL (Season 20) Announced2BSL Team Wars - Bonyth, Dewalt, Hawk & Sziky teams10Weekly Cups (July 14-20): Final Check-up0Esports World Cup 2025 - Brackets Revealed19Weekly Cups (July 7-13): Classic continues to roll8
StarCraft 2
General
Power Rank - Esports World Cup 2025 The GOAT ranking of GOAT rankings #1: Maru - Greatest Players of All Time Server Blocker Team TLMC #5 - Submission re-extension
Tourneys
Esports World Cup 2025 FEL Cracov 2025 (July 27) - $8000 live event Sparkling Tuna Cup - Weekly Open Tournament Master Swan Open (Global Bronze-Master 2) Sea Duckling Open (Global, Bronze-Diamond)
Strategy
How did i lose this ZvP, whats the proper response
Custom Maps
External Content
Mutation #239 Bad Weather Mutation # 483 Kill Bot Wars Mutation # 482 Wheel of Misfortune Mutation # 481 Fear and Lava
Brood War
General
Google Play ASL (Season 20) Announced Simple editing of Brood War save files? (.mlx) BGH Auto Balance -> http://bghmmr.eu/ Ginuda's JaeDong Interview Series [Update] ShieldBattery: 2025 Redesign
Tourneys
[Megathread] Daily Proleagues [BSL20] Non-Korean Championship 4x BSL + 4x China CSL Xiamen International Invitational [CSLPRO] It's CSLAN Season! - Last Chance
Strategy
[G] Mineral Boosting Does 1 second matter in StarCraft? Simple Questions, Simple Answers
Other Games
General Games
Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread Total Annihilation Server - TAForever Nintendo Switch Thread [MMORPG] Tree of Savior (Successor of Ragnarok) Path of Exile
Dota 2
Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
TL Mafia Community Thread Vanilla Mini Mafia
Community
General
Stop Killing Games - European Citizens Initiative Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine Russo-Ukrainian War Thread US Politics Mega-thread Post Pic of your Favorite Food!
Fan Clubs
INnoVation Fan Club SKT1 Classic Fan Club!
Media & Entertainment
[\m/] Heavy Metal Thread Anime Discussion Thread Movie Discussion! [Manga] One Piece Korean Music Discussion
Sports
Formula 1 Discussion 2024 - 2025 Football Thread TeamLiquid Health and Fitness Initiative For 2023 NBA General Discussion
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
Installation of Windows 10 suck at "just a moment" Computer Build, Upgrade & Buying Resource Thread
TL Community
TeamLiquid Team Shirt On Sale The Automated Ban List
Blogs
Ping To Win? Pings And Their…
TrAiDoS
momentary artworks from des…
tankgirl
from making sc maps to makin…
Husyelt
StarCraft improvement
iopq
Socialism Anyone?
GreenHorizons
Eight Anniversary as a TL…
Mizenhauer
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 761 users

I can't think of a cool title to make people look

Blogs > Fumanchu
Post a Reply
Fumanchu
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
Canada669 Posts
October 31 2013 04:20 GMT
#1
I can’t sing. I can’t dance. I can’t cook. I can’t play an instrument. I can’t write a document without using backspace. I can’t teach. I can’t hang glide. I can’t, use, commas correctly. I can’t cut my own hair. I can’t count myself to sleep. I can’t count you to sleep. I can’t count on you. I can’t convince you to count on me. I can’t pull off a bald look. I can’t see without my glasses. I can’t type faster than 48 wpm. I can’t handle more than six beers. I can’t quickly and effectively put on a condom. I can’t touch my toes without bending my knees. I can’t force myself to swallow the mucus that fills my mouth when I’m sick when I’m driving on the highway, so I have roll down the window and spit and pray to God that it doesn’t attach itself to my passenger window. I can’t drive stick. I can’t fly a plane. I can’t eat raw fish. I can’t dunk. I can’t join the Olympics. I can’t refuse eggnog or deviled eggs. I can’t stand the company of small dogs. I can’t fit my hand in my mouth. I can’t read Hebrew. I can’t recognize Hebrew. I can’t recognize a Hebrew man. I can’t spell recognize without spellcheck. I can’t stand people who make a new blog and it’s just a wall of text. I can’t use photoshop. I can’t stand soapy cilantro in soups. I can’t believe it’s not butter. I can’t can’t properly use double negatives, can’t I not? I can’t remember the last time I saw Jonathan Torrens. I can’t marry a racist. I can’t jump higher than a foot. I can’t dig a trench. I can’t raise a pokemon naturally to 99. I can’t find Waldo’s damn binoculars on the page where there’s the fire shooting monks and the normal guys using water hoses. I can’t count faster in my head than out loud. I can’t run faster than my brother. I can’t golf better than my dad. I can’t do one arm push ups. I can’t tell when a word is one word or two. I can’t beat Contra. I can’t swallow oblong pills. I can’t budget. I can’t tan naturally. I can’t look manly wearing a pink shirt. I can’t tell if a person is gay unless they explicitly mention that they have sex with the same sex, or holding a sign that tells me their orientation, and even then I heard some people just attend those parades because the ratio of their preferred sex to their own is so much higher, but I never really understood that logic, I mean aren’t they not interested in you unless you’re gay, or maybe you’re hoping for a threesome? I can’t hold my breath for longer than 20 seconds. I can’t complete a marathon. I can’t bring myself to purposefully peeing on a public toilet seat. I can’t whistle using my fingers. I can’t do a hand stand without support. I can’t successfully peel off a bra without divine intervention. I can’t crack my knuckles. I can’t remember when I’ve told someone the same story before so they become annoyed with me even though they enjoyed it the first time. I can’t justify parachute pants. I can’t remember all the words to bohemian rhapsody so when it comes on the radio and my friends start singing at the top of their lungs, I just open my mouth and make sounds and avoid eye contact.

Today I turned 27 and there’s a lot of stuff I still can’t do. But as I’m typing this, a very pretty girl is trying to fall asleep beside me (whoops), a cat is purring at the foot of our bed, and I can hear the rain pattering on my window. So maybe life isn’t that bad after all.

Except I have to get up in four hours for work. Damn.

I can’t believe I stayed up to write this blog.


***
Easy doesnt fit into grownup life.
NeuroticPsychosis
Profile Blog Joined September 2013
United States322 Posts
October 31 2013 04:23 GMT
#2
What is the meaning of this foolishness?
intricate, elaborate, articulate, crystallize, conceptualize, synthesize
Roe
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Canada6002 Posts
October 31 2013 04:31 GMT
#3
as long as you have a mate you love and a cat who sleeps on your bed nothing else really matters
Chairman Ray
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
United States11903 Posts
October 31 2013 04:52 GMT
#4
Yay cat!
PineapplePizza
Profile Joined June 2010
United States749 Posts
October 31 2013 04:58 GMT
#5
You can't dodge the one-star bandit.

You can't dodge my 5/5, either.
"There should be no tying a sharp, hard object to your cock like it has a mechanical arm and hitting it with the object or using your cockring to crack the egg. No cyborg penises allowed. 100% flesh only." - semioldguy
ruiyang
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
252 Posts
October 31 2013 05:01 GMT
#6
Stop focusing on what you can't. Instead focus on what's really important and what you can do.
jrkirby
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States1510 Posts
October 31 2013 05:08 GMT
#7
AttackZerg
Profile Blog Joined January 2003
United States7454 Posts
October 31 2013 06:50 GMT
#8
Fun.

Although ...... the writer in me is pleading to ask you to keep molding it, which is my 'scumbag brains' way of saying it likes something. =)
ThunderGod
Profile Blog Joined February 2009
New Zealand897 Posts
October 31 2013 09:09 GMT
#9
Awesome
"Certain forms of popular music nowadays, namely rap and hip hop styles, are just irritating gangsters bragging about their illegal exploits and short-sighted lifestyles." - Shiverfish ~2009
DropBear
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Australia4353 Posts
October 31 2013 11:38 GMT
#10
Good for you man!
Sucker for nostalgia
rel
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
Guam3521 Posts
October 31 2013 11:55 GMT
#11
Sick brag blog bro!
I'll tank push my way into her heart. ☮♥&$!
HeeroFX
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
United States2704 Posts
October 31 2013 14:24 GMT
#12
you can't play sc 2 very well either <3 <3 but yeah I found this entertaining 5/5
MoonfireSpam
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
United Kingdom1153 Posts
October 31 2013 14:46 GMT
#13
On October 31 2013 14:08 jrkirby wrote:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Q9rewnLFYw


Ahh yeah awesome tune. Average brag blog.
Chezus
Profile Joined January 2011
Netherlands427 Posts
October 31 2013 17:16 GMT
#14
On October 31 2013 14:01 ruiyang wrote:
Stop focusing on what you can't. Instead focus on what's really important and what you can do.


That's gonna be another really long blog >_>
dravernor
Profile Blog Joined May 2013
Netherlands6181 Posts
October 31 2013 19:36 GMT
#15
Hahaha! Nice work. The ending made me smile at least. As the others said, you don't need to focus on what you can't do, but rather focus on what you can do
<3
wizardidit
Profile Blog Joined December 2011
United States14 Posts
November 05 2013 18:11 GMT
#16
This is actually kind of brilliant. It feels very honest as a portrayal of who you are and very true as a story which has meaning and value independent of context.
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
Next event in 24m
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
Nina 191
StarCraft: Brood War
Sea 4088
Bisu 610
Larva 474
ToSsGirL 327
firebathero 305
Mind 233
Zeus 211
EffOrt 199
Free 198
Dewaltoss 88
[ Show more ]
ggaemo 60
ZerO 55
Soulkey 39
Shinee 35
Movie 27
Rush 14
zelot 11
ivOry 9
Hyun 9
Dota 2
XcaliburYe661
League of Legends
JimRising 513
Counter-Strike
shoxiejesuss229
edward72
Heroes of the Storm
Khaldor164
Other Games
singsing1461
Happy355
Fuzer 341
crisheroes253
Beastyqt40
ZerO(Twitch)11
Organizations
Other Games
gamesdonequick983
StarCraft: Brood War
lovetv 9
StarCraft 2
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
sctven
[ Show 15 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• Berry_CruncH316
• StrangeGG 29
• LUISG 23
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• Migwel
• sooper7s
StarCraft: Brood War
• BSLYoutube
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
Dota 2
• lizZardDota2235
League of Legends
• Jankos1169
Upcoming Events
CranKy Ducklings
24m
BSL20 Non-Korean Champi…
4h 24m
CSO Cup
6h 24m
BSL20 Non-Korean Champi…
8h 24m
Bonyth vs Sziky
Dewalt vs Hawk
Hawk vs QiaoGege
Sziky vs Dewalt
Mihu vs Bonyth
Zhanhun vs QiaoGege
QiaoGege vs Fengzi
FEL
23h 24m
BSL20 Non-Korean Champi…
1d 4h
BSL20 Non-Korean Champi…
1d 8h
Bonyth vs Zhanhun
Dewalt vs Mihu
Hawk vs Sziky
Sziky vs QiaoGege
Mihu vs Hawk
Zhanhun vs Dewalt
Fengzi vs Bonyth
Sparkling Tuna Cup
3 days
Online Event
3 days
uThermal 2v2 Circuit
4 days
[ Show More ]
The PondCast
5 days
Replay Cast
5 days
Korean StarCraft League
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

CSL Xiamen Invitational
Esports World Cup 2025
Murky Cup #2

Ongoing

Copa Latinoamericana 4
Jiahua Invitational
BSL20 Non-Korean Championship
BSL Team Wars
CSLPRO Last Chance 2025
CC Div. A S7
Underdog Cup #2
IEM Cologne 2025
FISSURE Playground #1
BLAST.tv Austin Major 2025
ESL Impact League Season 7
IEM Dallas 2025
PGL Astana 2025
Asian Champions League '25

Upcoming

ASL Season 20: Qualifier #1
ASL Season 20: Qualifier #2
ASL Season 20
CSLPRO Chat StarLAN 3
BSL Season 21
RSL Revival: Season 2
Maestros of the Game
SEL Season 2 Championship
uThermal 2v2 Main Event
FEL Cracov 2025
HCC Europe
ESL Pro League S22
StarSeries Fall 2025
FISSURE Playground #2
BLAST Open Fall 2025
BLAST Open Fall Qual
Esports World Cup 2025
BLAST Bounty Fall 2025
BLAST Bounty Fall Qual
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2025 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.