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Hey guys,
studying at a university is the greatest thing ever. It's challenging, satisfying and full of variety.
On the other hand, there's work. I currently work a really tedious office job, for about 20 hours a week, to support myself. Though my rent and healthcare are cared for , obviously I still have to eat, buy books and get a new set of socks and underwear every now and again. In short: living is expensive. About 150 € a month cover me quite comfortably.
So here's my dilemma:
My parents offered to cover my living expenses so I may focus on studying and get to have a bit of free time as well. At first this seems great, but obviously they work for the money as well, and I think I would feel like a piece of shit when I'd take the easy way on their expense.
On the other hand, this could be great in the long run, as I could use my leisure time to work towards a job I actually could enjoy...
Now the obvious answer is: work a couple of months, build a financial cushion and then look for something you enjoy, but already I notice my boss giving me a bit more responsibility every day, hinting heavily that I could take on some more long-term projects if I liked to, making me work more than the other temps (which is fine, we're paid hourly) and being suspiciously friendly. I suspect he's covertly trying to make stay, although I set from my interview onwards that I don't intend to commit to an office job. The last time I did that, I got roped into working full-time and before I knew it, I had wasted two years...
Maybe I'm a spoiled little prat for even considering my parents' offer, but I'm afraid to find myself in a similar situation again and regretting all the time I've wasted working...
What would you do?
Thanks for reading, just wanted to express my thoughts a bit.
I hope this doesn't sound like wingeing, I'm very happy with my overall situation and I know I'm fortunate to even have this "problem".
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What if you worked for your parents so you could spend time with them and become closer to them? I think that would make your parents happy because they could keep an eye on you and have peace of mind. And I'm sure you'd want to make your parents proud too.
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My parents live 250 km away from me.
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Germany212 Posts
I presume you're not eligible for bafög because that would cover the costs quite adequately, especially with that 3hours job you have (and you'd also be eligible for Wohngeld, most often than not). You can always try to apply for a scholarship, but most scholarships for undergrads are given out to people that come from poor households and cannot count on their parents to help them finance their studies, and if you're not eligible for bafög, then that lowers your chances for most scholarships. You can always try though. Check out: http://www.stipendienlotse.de/
Other than that, there's always the possibility of taking a Bildungskredit (http://www.bva.bund.de/), but it has to be paid off after four years, meaning you'd probably have to start paying it back once you're towards the end of your phd (if you want to go that way), which although is definitely ezpz if you can get a job as an adjunct at a uni while writing your dissertation, it can be a shaky proposition due to the volatile nature of adjunct working contracts.
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On June 16 2013 18:59 Meow-Meow wrote:
My parents live 250 km away from me.
If I didn't have my own place and was stuck here I'd like to see my parents everyday and work with them and they wouldn't worry about me as much.
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It depends on your parents financial situation really. If they can comfortably support you then I don't see the problem. There's give and take throughout life, and while you might be taking support from them now (like you haven't been for the first 18 years of your life...) you will support them in one way or another in the future, and in turn you will probably do something similar for your children.
The whole point of a family is to support each other, and if they can support you, and want to, don't see why it would be a problem.
If you really want, talk to them so that it's a loan rather than a freebie, and then pay them back over time. That way you benefit now, and they benefit in the long run because they get their money back eventually anyway. Better than taking out a commercial or govt loan.
(All this assumes your parents won't be screwing themselves over by helping you).
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Take your parents' support, study, get a good job, pay them back? If they can support you without too much trouble that sounds like a pretty good solution.
There's nothing bad about depending on others every now and then as long as you give something back in return. Doesn't have to be money all the time either, by the way.
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I agree with Lonyo, it really depends on your parents situation. My parents help my sisters out a lot, so I would feel bad if they had to help me out in any way as well. If my sisters didn't need the help, then maybe I would accept help from them so I could focus 100% on school. If it helps you do better in school, and if they can afford it, there is no problem accepting it.
You could always look at it like a loan that you will pay back after you graduate?
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Working part-time while studying looks amazingly good on a resume as it shows dedication and ability to manage your workload. Even if you don't like your current job, it might be a good idea to keep it just so you can find your next, better job easier.
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On June 16 2013 19:58 Salazarz wrote:
Working part-time while studying looks amazingly good on a resume as it shows dedication and ability to manage your workload. Even if you don't like your current job, it might be a good idea to keep it just so you can find your next, better job easier.
I'd be the guy who judges your resume, and I really couldn't give much of a fuck whether you've worked during your studies or not.
I'd say the only real advantage to your current job (other than the salary) is learning discipline and getting used to doing stuff you don't enjoy. I'm afraid that's what jobs are to most people. Whatever you do, you could (and should) look for a new and better job in the meantime (something you should always do). No need to create a financial buffer or quit your job first. In fact, that would be rather silly 
Regarding your current job, if you possibly plan on staying and growing within this company, go sit down with your boss and put some stuff on paper. And still keep looking for something better.
At the same time, taking your parents money and get a bit more time off sounds like a great option as well. Enjoy yourself while you're young!
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On June 16 2013 19:18 Lonyo wrote:
It depends on your parents financial situation really. If they can comfortably support you then I don't see the problem. There's give and take throughout life, and while you might be taking support from them now (like you haven't been for the first 18 years of your life...) you will support them in one way or another in the future, and in turn you will probably do something similar for your children.
The whole point of a family is to support each other, and if they can support you, and want to, don't see why it would be a problem.
If you really want, talk to them so that it's a loan rather than a freebie, and then pay them back over time. That way you benefit now, and they benefit in the long run because they get their money back eventually anyway. Better than taking out a commercial or govt loan.
(All this assumes your parents won't be screwing themselves over by helping you).
Well I mean I can just rent out my place and work normally.
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I dont get it u say u need 150 euro per month to live ok and yet have to work 20 hours a week?
How much do u get paid at your job i can make 150 euro in 1 week if i work 20h
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Wait so your rent and healthcare are paid for and it only takes you 150 euro a month to live comfortably?
If that really is the case then I don't think your parents mind giving you an allowance of 150 a month while you complete school. Personally I spend a lot more than that but I also live in Hawaii.
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It doesn't sound like you are wasting your time if you are studying something in Uni that you enjoy and could benefit your career. The title is misleading.
Personally I don't think students should have to work. If you're going to be in school it's better to be focused on school. The money made from working while in school is not as much as what one can make afterwards. When it's possible to not work in school then you should.
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On June 16 2013 19:24 spinesheath wrote:
Take your parents' support, study, get a good job, pay them back? If they can support you without too much trouble that sounds like a pretty good solution.
There's nothing bad about depending on others every now and then as long as you give something back in return. Doesn't have to be money all the time either, by the way.
That's what I'm thinking. Accept your parents' financial assistance under the condition that you'll pay them back once you finish your education, obtain a job, and can easily stand on your own two feet. From both your and your parents' perspectives, it's an investment and loan well worth paying for.
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You guys had really good points, but rather than listening to you, I kept at it.
So now, a month later, I got offered a long term job and idiot me accepted.
I asked to work fewer hours however, and so I'll be working 10 hours instead of 15,5 for the same pay, so I guess I can't complain.
However, I feel like a douche for asking for your advice and completely ignoring it.
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Advice is advice, thats about it. By meaning, you dont HAVE to listen to it
The fact that you didnt take their advice but listened validates itself.
At least you're not one of the d-bags that ask for advice then scream "STFU UR WRONG I DO IT THIS WAY" when they dont hear exactly what they want. those people are bad.
Good luck dude. ^_^
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On June 17 2013 06:03 Darkren wrote:
I dont get it u say u need 150 euro per month to live ok and yet have to work 20 hours a week?
How much do u get paid at your job i can make 150 euro in 1 week if i work 20h
I get 450 € a month and I have to be there for 10 hours a week.
Student jobs are pretty rare in my city, because there are more students per capita than in most cities.
There are jobs in which I could make a little more, but those wouldn't be as convenient, the hours would be much less flexible and my communte would likely be more than the 500 meters of a nice scenic route I have now. 
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Huh, asians do this all the time. I mooched off my parents the whole time I was at uni, only working on holidays.
I think the thoughts of guilt is unwarranted, if your parents are willing to foot you and they're not struggling for money, why not?
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Asking for few fewer hours was the correct play. So GJ.
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EPT
