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Hello people of teamliquid.net, tonight I will share with you what happened with me today. But first, you need some backstory.
First of all, you must all realize that I'm what is commonly known as a pathetic loser. I try ,pretty hard in school, I play a lot of Starcraft, and I am socially very awkward, especially around girls. For most of my life (I'm 17 now). I've had various crushes and attractions to girls I know. This is fairly normal for an adolescent boy. The weird thing about me is that I never said or did anything about it ever. No one in the world except for me has ever known who I'm interested in. I would just imagine what it would be like I were to date someone for a while, and then eventually lose interest in them and move on to someone else. Needless to say this is fucking stupid and I hate myself for it.
Now on to the actual thing. This year, a new girl came to my school. I thought she was cute and eccentric. We talked very little, mostly me helping her with homework. All of this changed a couple of weeks ago when we went on a class trip over spring break. Now my small group of friends at school basically includes several serious students, some gamers and other random people. Now on this trip, the new girl, decides to leave her group of mostly girls and join me and my group of outcasts. On this trip we all grew really close. I was able to talk to her and had several really meaningful and enjoyable conversations. I started to really like her, and unlike the past, I made some attempts to spend time with her and get to know her.
Now we're back in school and stuff and I continue to talk with her. I think she must enjoy it too because she's usually quiet all the time but when we talk she smiles and laughs. Also she doesn't actively try to avoid me like most of the people in my school lol. So I made a conscious effort and decided that I would ask her out. However, most of what I know about dating comes from movies I've watched. A couple days ago, I just kinda asked her if she would want to go out sometimes, because apparently people on TV say that. To my surprise, she said yes, and I had no idea how to follow up. You see, until that point, I'd never actually been on a date before or given any sign to anyone that I like them. So basically I spent a day just thinking and then regretting it all because I had no fucking idea what I was doing. Then today, something possessed me and I asked her out on a date, right then and there. She said yes. And then we went to eat. One of my greatest fears about dates, being socially unskilled, was that the conversation would die and we would just sit there. This did not happen, the entire time was filled with really awesome conversation and it wasn't one sided. We were both contributing and enjoying the conversation. So essentially, the first date of my entire life was a success.
Pot twist. We go to an American school and she is a foreign exchange student. She will be leaving to go home in about a month and a half. That is why she was new to the school, she is just studying abroad for one year. Also I think that might be the reason I actually got the nerve to ask her out, because I knew time was limited while with other girls there is always 1000 excuses to do it later, or never. Anyways, I'm really happy because I went on the first date of my life with a really cute and fun girl who I like, but sad because I know she will leave soon and I will never see her again.
 
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Make sure you keep her as a friend. If you guys have awesome conversations, that's probably the sign of a good friend.
Also, someone told me a great piece of advice: always always have friends that live far away or are not connected at all. It's always crucial to have an outside point of view.
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Why would you give her a pseudonym if you're never going to use it?
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I agree with the post by Entirety, the outside view can give you a lot of insights in your own life, why not keep her around?
Never seeing her again is a pretty defeatist attitude. With the internet the way it is if you two wanted to stay in touch then it's easy. Do what feels right, but don't force communication.
Good luck man!
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On April 17 2013 13:46 jrkirby wrote:
Why would you give her a pseudonym if you're never going to use it?
Because I literally have no idea what I'm doing. I just saw other people do it. Maybe I should edit that.
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try to make the best of it for this last month and a half...
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6 years ago I was on an 1 week exchange with a group of other Danes to Italy. That trip resulted in 3 romances - one of which lasted and they have now lived together for 5 years I believe. We were 17/18 years old. I was one of the 3 that did not last (I did not prioritize it high enough and we really were not all that compatible - which probably led to the lack of commitment) so I am not going to tell you that it is a walk in the park, heck I would actually advice directly against it, but long distance relationships are doable.
But if nothing else stay friends - I am still good friends with my Italian and it is definitely worth it.
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On April 17 2013 14:04 Ghostcom wrote:
6 years ago I was on an 1 week exchange with a group of other Danes to Italy. That trip resulted in 3 romances - one of which lasted and they have now lived together for 5 years I believe. We were 17/18 years old. I was one of the 3 that did not last (I did not prioritize it high enough and we really were not all that compatible - which probably led to the lack of commitment) so I am not going to tell you that it is a walk in the park, heck I would actually advice directly against it, but long distance relationships are doable.
But if nothing else stay friends - I am still good friends with my Italian and it is definitely worth it.
Funny thing actually is that I'm good at keeping online friendships. I used to make animation videos on youtube when I was 12 and I'm still friends with some dude halfway across the planet who made similar videos.We talk on facebook and skype every week. Kind of interesting thing is that even though it is a pretty small country, he's from the same country she is.
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awwwww, so cute... good luck. keep in touch and enjoy the time together. make the best of it and make some good memories.
~hwaiting
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Hmm. If she's foreign, are you sure she thought of it as a date? Idk where she's from but there could be a possibility that maybe she thought you were just hanging out? Hopefully not though! It sounds like you're both in to each other so that's great. GL man 
also, don't beat yourself up too bad about being a beginner at 17. I had my first kiss and date at 18.5 years old 
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Geesh, you're cute. No reason to break contact or anything, but take what you learned as a valuable lesson: Doesn't hurt to ask a girl out that you like, especially when it seems she likes you back.
The worst thing that could happen is that she might just say yes. =P
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If you keep trying to hang out with her while she's still around and you keep worrying about not knowing what to do: tell her. If she really likes you (and it seems like she does) she'll be accommodating. Don't use inexperience as an excuse to ever treat a girl poorly, always try your best and such, but it might go a little ways to calming your nerves and explaining some eccentricities in your behavior to her.
Being honest about that sort of stuff is always a good idea IMO.
Just have fun man, I hope you guys can stay in touch and continue to have those good conversations when you part ways. It's always really lame losing that sort of thing to distance.
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okay story time... my wife of nearly 7 years was a foreign exchange student. I never knew her in school but she made friends with people I would later come to know. She visited a couple years later, we hung out for the first time for one night, it was awesome (no sex just literally hanging out and talking/ flirting until sunup) didn't see her again, fell out of contact with the friends who knew her.
One night, I was at a bar and the friends of hers I knew just happened by and said the foreign exchange student would be coming back the following week. I dropped what I was doing remembering that one night, five years before, and went to get her from the airport with one of her friends a few days later. she remembered me instantly, we spent an amazing week together (still just a lot of flirting) she had, in the time since we had last met, finished a masters degree and she was a teacher. We spent such a great week together, that she decided to just come try to make her life near me. part of it was trying a new country, most of it was I was just convincing. after a month, we realized that she couldn't stay or get a green card just by finding a job, so we said fuck it lets get married so she can stay.
Crazy as it is, after only 60 days together we went to a courthouse, got married, and haven't looked back 2 children and nearly 7 years later. We lived in the US for about 4 years (where I am from) and in two weeks we will have spent 2 years in France (where she is from). Crazy shit happens. I wouldn't suggest it for everyone but let life come to you, don't expect everything to be easy, but accept it and do what feels right. GL HF.
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As the good ol' sayin goes, better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Enjoy the experience while you can son.
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Start to prepare for heartbreak now. No matter what happens, even if you plan on keeping in touch etc, it's going to really, really, really sting when she leaves.
Still, you can make it work, it does depend on both people a lot though. Step one is to get a job and work your ass off so you can afford to go and see her whenever you can. Step two is to keep in touch as often as you can. Mail stuff to each other. Even stupid stuff, like if you see a stuffed animal or whatever and think she would like it? Buy it and mail it. Most important though is don't let her treat you like shit. She seems cool so it's unlikely, but if she goes away, you guys start to drift for one reason or another (it can sometimes just be like that) contact starts to slow down etc, you're really trying your hardest to keep stuff alive with her, offering to go see her etc etc, and she always seems uninterested, you need to look out for yourself. Otherwise you'll end up spending a lot of money on someone who doesn't care and something that is doomed from the get go. Long distance relationships are hella expensive.
As people have said above, at the very least remain friends if possible because she sounds pretty cool.
And lastly, don't worry about being rubbish at dating at your age : ) I'm 22 years old, and only started dating this year and I'm still the worst girlfriend ever. You'll get better.
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First date of your live and it was a success! That's great dude! It is always the hardest one to ask, to go and to play it smoothly. I had my first date and kiss/girlfriend when I was 17 too, and I was kind of awkward as well, but mostly because I was insecure on getting along with girls.
Everyone is unexperienced with the other sex at your age, so don't worry, just be honest and do the things as you feel them coming. Keep in mind most of the girls feel as awkward as you do when hanging around with boys. I hope this experience gives you confidence for your future dates!!
It's sad that she's leaving, but you are very young and you will meet lots of girls. Keep in touch with her for sure, it's always good to have friends all around ;D!
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One of my greatest fears about dates, being socially unskilled, was that the conversation would die and we would just sit there.
Oh man. Too close...
Doesn't look like you asked for any advice. GL.
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On April 17 2013 22:46 obesechicken13 wrote:Show nested quote +One of my greatest fears about dates, being socially unskilled, was that the conversation would die and we would just sit there. Oh man. Too close... Doesn't look like you asked for any advice. GL.
Know how that feels : ) Look at it as a blessing though. If you can't talk to anyone, then when you finally CAN talk to someone, you know it's right : ) If you can talk to anyone no problem, HOW DO YOU KNOW?!?!
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oh man... pot twists get you so high.
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I know its a lame advice,but: Its allways better to regret things you've done than regretting things you didnt.
Just try.
Gl
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EPT
