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I found her, but then I woke up.

Blogs > Carbonyl
Post a Reply
Carbonyl
Profile Blog Joined August 2012
United States334 Posts
April 06 2013 20:33 GMT
#1
I had a dream last night, that is already quickly fading.

I started out at my work. But it was a strange day in that things were happening that wouldn't normally be happening. In hindsight it's because it was a dream, but no matter. I was called on to leave my store, and go help someone at their house (I work big chain retail, this would never happen).

So to the house I went, clueless. It turns out their problem was one I had no hopes of solving. As I remember, it wasn't that huge of an issue, but it was about something that I have no experience in. Electronics or cars or some such. The person who was asking me for help was a young man about my age, and quite witty. We bantered, and then I followed him a short distance to his house. There, I met a young woman, also about my age. She was also extremely witty, which I found extremely attractive. She had freckles lengthy brown hair, and could insult you in ways that made you think twice. Eventually she left with the guy, but they were just friends.

After a random dream time-skip, I was somehow following them on the freeway. We get off and then are driving down a large mountain side of grass, and there's a school on it. At the school there is some sort of event happening, and there are lots of people milling about outside on the grass. I talk to the girl again. I don't remember any specific conversation, but I can remember her essence. She was what I wanted in a girl, what I was looking for. I need someone incredibly clever and quick and smart, and not afraid to hand my teasings and jokes right back threefold. The average girl just laughs and smiles, but not her. I need to be given that devilish look right back. Acknowledgment of wit, a bow of respect when your eyes flash. That's what I need to have.

Then I woke up, and for the first time in my life, I think I can say I was sad that the dream was not a reality. Because there is no mystery witty girl, with brown hair and freckles. She did leave me something though. A kiss - of sorts, but not with the lips. She, or rather my unconscious mind, gave me a brush with an ideal, a tantalizing taste of what could be.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I recently have been somewhat interested in a girl in a few of my classes. I did not invest too heavily, though, as I've just gotten out of a 2 year relationship about 6 weeks ago. I've been dancing around the edges, flirting with the idea of flirting. The one thing that held me back, in truth, was that I wasn't sure if she was mentally what I wanted in a girl. I was even suspicious she might be a ditsy girl. In hindsight it's not difficult to see, but I couldn't tell whether she was acting the way she was because she was with her friend (who is quite an airhead), or because that's just how she was.

I know after talking to her that she's quite capable of holding up normal conversation without me wanting to kill myself (which is a start, if anything). But looking back and forward, it's painfully obvious that it's not what I really want. That pretty face isn't hiding any playful malice, or clever quips. Instead there's just an emptiness that she fills with drama. Have you ever noticed the people who have an excessive amount of drama in their lives? I can't put my finger on what makes them drama magnets, but they all have that similarity. That wistfulness that they are just 1 or 2 weeks away from living a perfect life, if only they can deal with whatever boy or bitch is currently troubling them. No matter, I avoid these people except to watch from afar and ponder.

So now I'll move on. I find out where I transfer to within the next 3 weeks, as I currently am in my final year at a local community college. And wherever I go, that's where I'll look for her, the girl with the brown hair and freckles, so to speak. Maybe I'll find her, maybe she'll find me. Who knows? And maybe I'll even get broadsided in the meantime, unsuspecting. I'm open to the possibility, however improbable.

But I'm now on the lookout. Until we meet again, for the first time.

**
It takes quite a long time of playing and watching a video game before you realize how bad at it you really are.
quirinus
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
Croatia2489 Posts
April 06 2013 21:58 GMT
#2
Had a similar dream a few times, really nice feeling.

And so rare in real life. :<

Thanks for sharing and waking up some memories!
All candles lit within him, and there was purity. | First auto-promoted BW LP editor.
Fishgle
Profile Blog Joined May 2011
United States2174 Posts
April 06 2013 23:46 GMT
#3
I've had a similar dream like that too. Always the same girl. Lime-green beret, oversized pink wool sweater, blue eyes, brown hair, voice like chimes. Everything else about her a blur, face, limbs, surroundings, etc.
aka ChillyGonzalo / GnozL
MysteryMeat1
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States3292 Posts
April 06 2013 23:47 GMT
#4
People with drama make my life interesting. The key is to keep far enough away that their drama will never affect you, but close enough to laugh at it.
"Cause ya know, Style before victory." -The greatest mafia player alive
im a roc
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States745 Posts
April 06 2013 23:57 GMT
#5
This made me smile, thanks for that. I just ended a two year relationship in the past few months too, and I know exactly how you feel, where you just don't want to have a girl in your life right now, but that if you found the one that was perfect for you you wouldn't be able to stay away. Here's to hoping both of us (and everyone else in the world) finds their 'freckled brunette' to live with and love
Beware The Proxy Pool Rush
Carbonyl
Profile Blog Joined August 2012
United States334 Posts
April 07 2013 01:07 GMT
#6
@quirinus: Rare indeed. I think the only girl I can think of that is my ideal in terms of wit was a girl I crushed on in senior year of high school. She ended up being a floater type person and wasn't interested, but for a while it was great. No one else has really had the same spark. Because I also know girls that aren't afraid to make fun of me back, but none have fit the magic criteria.

@Fishgle: Does she have a certain personality that you're attracted to? Or is it just the physical image?

@MysteryMeat1: I think it's a little interesting, but it gets pretty dull after a while. The same song and dance for every person, moving through life as if they're the only thing that matters in the universe. I'm biased, but I feel that a laid back approach is much better. More fun too. and you can always, like we both said, watch the drama from afar :D

@im a roc: My man! We can look to the future together. She's out there somewhere.
It takes quite a long time of playing and watching a video game before you realize how bad at it you really are.
MysteryMeat1
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States3292 Posts
April 07 2013 01:42 GMT
#7
On April 07 2013 10:07 Carbonyl wrote:
@quirinus: Rare indeed. I think the only girl I can think of that is my ideal in terms of wit was a girl I crushed on in senior year of high school. She ended up being a floater type person and wasn't interested, but for a while it was great. No one else has really had the same spark. Because I also know girls that aren't afraid to make fun of me back, but none have fit the magic criteria.

@Fishgle: Does she have a certain personality that you're attracted to? Or is it just the physical image?

@MysteryMeat1: I think it's a little interesting, but it gets pretty dull after a while. The same song and dance for every person, moving through life as if they're the only thing that matters in the universe. I'm biased, but I feel that a laid back approach is much better. More fun too. and you can always, like we both said, watch the drama from afar :D

@im a roc: My man! We can look to the future together. She's out there somewhere.



I know what you mean. Me and you seem to be both really laid back and get along well with others. There's this one girl in my ochem class that i kinda like. The only problem is that her life is like one big blond cheerleader cliche. And while she is smart, i've come to the conclusion that i only like her for her looks...
"Cause ya know, Style before victory." -The greatest mafia player alive
Carbonyl
Profile Blog Joined August 2012
United States334 Posts
April 07 2013 03:01 GMT
#8
@MysteryMeat1: Haha the girl I was talking about is in my ochem class as well :D And biochem class. And yeah, those looks T.T
I knew it before, but more and more I'm realizing that it's all about personality/mentality/emotional attraction.
It takes quite a long time of playing and watching a video game before you realize how bad at it you really are.
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