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I did something today that i am really not proud of.
Today in class this one guy started making jokes about me. For example while i was laughing about a joke a friend was making he started imitating (in a very retarded and insulting way) me and saying i sounded like in the cartoon beavis and butthead. Then later he did something similar, and today was not the first time. So i asked him, "Are you making fun of me?", he answered "yes". I said that he would better shut up or i would come over there. Then he started provoking me, saying "Sure, come". A switch in my head just flipped and i went over there and just gave him a beating. But i feel terrible about it, especially since he didnt get the chance to even hit me back decently..and seeing how my knuckles were slightly bleeding (or scratched, my english sucks  ) I must have hit him pretty hard a few times. This is not the first time i got into a fight, but i normally never throw the first punch so yea, i feel very disappointed in myself.
I am the type of person who usually never rages or gets mad, i usually just crop it up inside me and even ignore provocations like today entirely. I just wonder what steps i could take to create a outlet so stuff like this doesnt happen again. I already do alot of sport, but competitive sport gives me even more stress. I also do running, and that sure helps alot, but i cant go running 15k everytime i get angry.
Maybe not the best question to ask on the internet, but hell, better then ignoring what happened today and not do something about it.
 
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I'm assuming this is high school? The important thing to remember is that most of life isn't like High School, and you definitely don't want to develop a personality and skill set maximized for High School, you want to be good at life.
In the rest of life, people are going to say bad things about you, or be rude, or whatever, but you can't just go hit them (and really you shouldn't in high school either). In general, you should just ignore losers like this guy. Did anyone you actually care about agree with him? Were your friends agreeing with him? Of course not, and if they were you need to get new and better friends.
The other option, and this is much harder, is at the end of class go up to the person respectfully and say 'hey, can I talk to you for a sec? I really don't appreciate you saying X about me. How about we agree to just treat each other civilly from now on? Cool?"
He may say something stupid in response because he is an immature moron, but at least you'll know you tried, and that you yourself are not an immature moron.
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Good, you sure showed him, the only way to deal with this crap is just to stand up for yourself.
He won't be bothering you anytime soon
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On March 14 2013 00:19 Nightsz wrote:
Good, you sure showed him, the only way to deal with this crap is just to stand up for yourself.
He won't be bothering you anytime soon
Or plain ignore him. It's not fun to tease someone who doesn't even show indication of caring/responding.
As long as he's not right up in your face you should be able to ignore him.
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There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.
The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, “You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there.”
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On March 14 2013 00:46 Edahspmal wrote:
There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.
The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, “You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there.”
I'm stealing this
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In theory the correct thing to do would be to it ignore it and him and wait until he gets bored and stops
However that guy was being a cunt and you called his bluff and that was the end result. I don't think he'll be acting like a dick any time soon again.
Was tht the correct way to deal with it? No, not at all if every time someone provoked you you smacked the shit into them then people would be scared around you and constantly be on edge and I presume you don't want to be that sort of guy.
It's ok to be angry and get angry, it's when we take it out on others and our last "is this a good idea" barrier becomes worthless that it becomes a problem
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I learned recently that meditation is meant not to relax you but to train yourself to go against letting your thoughts get the best of you. To free your mind of all thoughts (angry included) and just breathe. I've broken many things in my past so now I just hit myself if I get really angry.
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On March 14 2013 00:41 TOCHMY wrote:Show nested quote +On March 14 2013 00:19 Nightsz wrote:
Good, you sure showed him, the only way to deal with this crap is just to stand up for yourself.
He won't be bothering you anytime soon Or plain ignore him. It's not fun to tease someone who doesn't even show indication of caring/responding. As long as he's not right up in your face you should be able to ignore him.
No way. Ignoring people this literally does shit. When someone wants to pick on you, they're not going to care if you react or not, and if you do, that's more ammo for them.
I think the only way to deal with this is to beat him so badly the first time, that he'll think twice before fucking with you again. Ender Wiggin style.
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On March 14 2013 00:41 TOCHMY wrote:Show nested quote +On March 14 2013 00:19 Nightsz wrote:
Good, you sure showed him, the only way to deal with this crap is just to stand up for yourself.
He won't be bothering you anytime soon Or plain ignore him. It's not fun to tease someone who doesn't even show indication of caring/responding. As long as he's not right up in your face you should be able to ignore him.
Plain ignoring something like this is among the worst things you can do if it already emotionally affects you. When it comes to e.g. mobbing in the workplace the circle of person ignores it -> gets teased more -> bursts out -> gets further isolated/teased for bursting out is quite common.
Among the best reactions early on is to take what's thrown at you and reframe it in a - for you - fun way and stick to that, ideally with a buddy of yours together.
Makes fun of you imitating you in a mocking way? Clearly he's trying to be more like you. You can't help him with his subconscious sexual desires to mate you, but you are quite flattered by it! =P
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Why do you feel bad exactly? You warned the dude that you'd shut him up if he didn't stop, he didn't, he got what he literally asked for.
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You should be glad he didn't complain to a teacher or the headmaster. You could get in serious trouble for violence in school, or at least that's the way it is here, don't know about Belgium
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On March 14 2013 00:46 Edahspmal wrote:
There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.
The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, “You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there.”
That was a pretty awesome post.
On March 14 2013 01:36 obesechicken13 wrote:
I learned recently that meditation is meant not to relax you but to train yourself to go against letting your thoughts get the best of you. To free your mind of all thoughts (angry included) and just breathe. I've broken many things in my past so now I just hit myself if I get really angry.
That's not very constructive either. I've been there and done that too, but that isn't the right answer either. Not only are you hurting yourself and fighting your own demons, but you're hurting those close to you as well emotionally and mentally.
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On March 14 2013 03:56 r.Evo wrote:Show nested quote +On March 14 2013 00:41 TOCHMY wrote:On March 14 2013 00:19 Nightsz wrote:
Good, you sure showed him, the only way to deal with this crap is just to stand up for yourself.
He won't be bothering you anytime soon Or plain ignore him. It's not fun to tease someone who doesn't even show indication of caring/responding. As long as he's not right up in your face you should be able to ignore him. Plain ignoring something like this is among the worst things you can do if it already emotionally affects you. When it comes to e.g. mobbing in the workplace the circle of person ignores it -> gets teased more -> bursts out -> gets further isolated/teased for bursting out is quite common. Among the best reactions early on is to take what's thrown at you and reframe it in a - for you - fun way and stick to that, ideally with a buddy of yours together. Makes fun of you imitating you in a mocking way? Clearly he's trying to be more like you. You can't help him with his subconscious sexual desires to mate you, but you are quite flattered by it! =P
Hey man I didnt mean just sit there and take it. I guess I meant what you wrote in the 2 latter paragraphs, that's just another way of ignoring it. I just didnt word it correctly.
EDIT: And I strongly disagree with your post hoby2k
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On March 14 2013 00:41 TOCHMY wrote:Show nested quote +On March 14 2013 00:19 Nightsz wrote:
Good, you sure showed him, the only way to deal with this crap is just to stand up for yourself.
He won't be bothering you anytime soon Or plain ignore him. It's not fun to tease someone who doesn't even show indication of caring/responding. As long as he's not right up in your face you should be able to ignore him.
Ignoring the situation isn't really the best answer either. In the bully's eyes they can perceive you as weak & accepting of the initial behavior which in turn means they will continue to press your buttons. The silent ones make for easy pickings.
Most people have no self-awareness, so it's hard for them to grasp what kind of mixed signals they're sending others. What you perceive of yourself can be very different from the next person's perception of you.
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On March 14 2013 07:01 StarStruck wrote:Show nested quote +On March 14 2013 00:41 TOCHMY wrote:On March 14 2013 00:19 Nightsz wrote:
Good, you sure showed him, the only way to deal with this crap is just to stand up for yourself.
He won't be bothering you anytime soon Or plain ignore him. It's not fun to tease someone who doesn't even show indication of caring/responding. As long as he's not right up in your face you should be able to ignore him. Ignoring the situation isn't really the best answer either. In the bully's eyes they can perceive you as weak & accepting of the initial behavior which in turn means they will continue to press your buttons. The silent ones make for easy pickings.
Read one post above yours
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On March 14 2013 07:02 TOCHMY wrote:Show nested quote +On March 14 2013 07:01 StarStruck wrote:On March 14 2013 00:41 TOCHMY wrote:On March 14 2013 00:19 Nightsz wrote:
Good, you sure showed him, the only way to deal with this crap is just to stand up for yourself.
He won't be bothering you anytime soon Or plain ignore him. It's not fun to tease someone who doesn't even show indication of caring/responding. As long as he's not right up in your face you should be able to ignore him. Ignoring the situation isn't really the best answer either. In the bully's eyes they can perceive you as weak & accepting of the initial behavior which in turn means they will continue to press your buttons. The silent ones make for easy pickings. Read one post above yours
I read it. I wanted to expand upon the idea considering body language is a specialty of mine and back in '98 I toured across my city performing a play about bullying.
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Thanks for the replies. The main reason that i dont feel like i simply stood up for myself is because when i was 11 years old, i remember one day me and my friend walked out of school, we had just made some weird puppet in class and this bully walks up to my friend and throws it on the ground (I also saw how he one day took away his glasses and spit into his eyes)..i told him to leave him alone, and he just walked up to me..i cant recall anything that happened after that, just the image of seeing him on the ground with blood coming out of his mouth and a bunch of parents standing around him, i remember this one lady screaming "Someone help him". At start it felt good, and my friend was very grateful to me ever since...but then later i got to hear this guy was in a institute, probably because of a messed up home situation...and i dont know, when i realised years later that that was probably the reason for bullying it just didnt felt that great anymore. And i wonder, maybe this guy has alot of problems too, maybe i just ruined his self-confidence for the rest of his life. Bah, lifes a bitch, wish it would be as simple as they picture it in the movies where you always have a good guy and a bad guy.
On March 14 2013 02:47 hoby2000 wrote:Show nested quote +On March 14 2013 00:41 TOCHMY wrote:On March 14 2013 00:19 Nightsz wrote:
Good, you sure showed him, the only way to deal with this crap is just to stand up for yourself.
He won't be bothering you anytime soon Or plain ignore him. It's not fun to tease someone who doesn't even show indication of caring/responding. As long as he's not right up in your face you should be able to ignore him. No way. Ignoring people this literally does shit. When someone wants to pick on you, they're not going to care if you react or not, and if you do, that's more ammo for them. I think the only way to deal with this is to beat him so badly the first time, that he'll think twice before fucking with you again. Ender Wiggin style.
Btw, the ender`s game serie is very good. I also use the name xenocide in sc2 because of it :D.
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On March 14 2013 00:09 SupplyBlockedTV wrote:I did something today that i am really not proud of. Today in class this one guy started making jokes about me. For example while i was laughing about a joke a friend was making he started imitating (in a very retarded and insulting way) me and saying i sounded like in the cartoon beavis and butthead. Then later he did something similar, and today was not the first time. So i asked him, "Are you making fun of me?", he answered "yes". I said that he would better shut up or i would come over there. Then he started provoking me, saying "Sure, come". A switch in my head just flipped and i went over there and just gave him a beating. But i feel terrible about it, especially since he didnt get the chance to even hit me back decently..and seeing how my knuckles were slightly bleeding (or scratched, my english sucks ) I must have hit him pretty hard a few times. This is not the first time i got into a fight, but i normally never throw the first punch so yea, i feel very disappointed in myself. I am the type of person who usually never rages or gets mad, i usually just crop it up inside me and even ignore provocations like today entirely. I just wonder what steps i could take to create a outlet so stuff like this doesnt happen again. I already do alot of sport, but competitive sport gives me even more stress. I also do running, and that sure helps alot, but i cant go running 15k everytime i get angry. Maybe not the best question to ask on the internet, but hell, better then ignoring what happened today and not do something about it.
Pretty sure he won't be making fun of you anymore. I would bring him aside one day and apologize to him or at least explain to him why he got the beating and tell him you hope there is no more bad blood. Because you are making a deal of this, you should be fine in life. Just being concious of the fact that you raged and it was wrong is more than half the battle. You will be fine.
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do beavis and butthead sound the same in french
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EPT
