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"There's something with my ex right now and I'm just a bit confused... So... can we just see each other as friends, for now? I still want you to see you as much as before, but just..."
Totally the first time I've run into this. /irony off
Anyway, I guess something things are like that. It's cool. We're still seeing each other a ton (or well, I assume so!) and in the end ... forcing things never really achieve great results, so better to just take things as they come and be a nice guy. Not too, she needs to known at least in some way, that I'm wanting for more, but ... it's cool. I feel like I've been dumped quite a few times, so I guess I'm coping with it better this time.
And, in the end ... being nice and honest is about all I think you can do. I mean, sometimes it works out, sometimes it really just doesn't.
It's cool...
  
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I'm not sure I really understand what you are trying to say here. You want her back?
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This means you're setting yourself up for trouble if you stick around. Best case, she doesn't realize she's leading you on.
The correct solution is to say "Nah, it's better if we don't see each other really". That unresolved shit with the ex means she feels pressure to decide, even if it's all internal, and if you don't create a counterbalance, she's going back to him. And that counterbalance is to create space.
Don't give her what she wants out of you; the supporting, positive side of a relationship. Because then, she can go back to the shmuck she dumped for a reason.
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Clearly it isn't cool, because you wouldn't be posting a blog to TL if it was, lol.
Good luck >_<
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2520 Posts
On January 29 2013 06:06 JingleHell wrote:
This means you're setting yourself up for trouble if you stick around. Best case, she doesn't realize she's leading you on.
The correct solution is to say "Nah, it's better if we don't see each other really". That unresolved shit with the ex means she feels pressure to decide, even if it's all internal, and if you don't create a counterbalance, she's going back to him. And that counterbalance is to create space.
Don't give her what she wants out of you; the supporting, positive side of a relationship. Because then, she can go back to the shmuck she dumped for a reason.
THIS!. Seriously, girls will want to keep you around and feel wanted/desired. However, there's some reason she doesn't want you (as bf). It's highly unlikely you actually end up friends through this arrangement either.
Also, I was hoping this was about short girls 
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personally, i'd move on. baggage usually creates trouble.
however, if you truly want to continue the relationship despite the fact that she is seeing whether she can get back together with her ex then you should make sure you set some ground rules. the biggest one is are you guys allowed to fool around with others. the worst thing is if you guys get back together, and you find out that she had sex with him at the same time she was having sex with you, and all the while you thought no sex was allowed. plus, she might give you STIs, which is never fun.
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[QUOTE]On January 29 2013 06:26 DusTerr wrote:
[QUOTE]On January 29 2013 06:06 JingleHell wrote:
Also, I was hoping this was about short girls [/QUOTE]
Yeah, the only reason I clicked on this enticing sounding blog was hoping for some five-feet-goodness.
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OK bro. I'm be real.
Don't get attached. Keep hitting it till she makes a choice. Don't make any big purchases.
Get your thing in but don't get your heart and wallet broke
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if she was a bit more direct and said 'Hey Testuser, I like you, but I want to go back to this shitty relationship that I know was broken, but you can still stick around because you pining for me makes me feel good' instead of that crap she said to you, would it make it easier for you to realize that she's kind of broken and kinda most definitely using you?
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So how tall is she?
Seriously though, if you're feeling like this either go for it or get out of it. Being in between isn't fun.
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On January 29 2013 06:26 DusTerr wrote:Show nested quote +On January 29 2013 06:06 JingleHell wrote:
This means you're setting yourself up for trouble if you stick around. Best case, she doesn't realize she's leading you on.
The correct solution is to say "Nah, it's better if we don't see each other really". That unresolved shit with the ex means she feels pressure to decide, even if it's all internal, and if you don't create a counterbalance, she's going back to him. And that counterbalance is to create space.
Don't give her what she wants out of you; the supporting, positive side of a relationship. Because then, she can go back to the shmuck she dumped for a reason. THIS!. Seriously, girls will want to keep you around and feel wanted/desired. However, there's some reason she doesn't want you (as bf). It's highly unlikely you actually end up friends through this arrangement either. Also, I was hoping this was about short girls
And just when i thought work was going to be interesting.
As for advice. Be nice but keep some distance and go for other girls. At least make her feel that she has competition or something.
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Don't do that to yourself mate, sticking around her while you love her and she doesn't or is unsure.
That will really hurt you emotionally in the long run.
it's not easy to let her go, but if the love is not mutual, move on, don't waste your years hoping she will change her mind. you only have 1 life.
Btw I also came here in hope of some short girls lol
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Katowice25012 Posts
This is a lot less clear than most of these blogs, usually it's the dude pining for her and trying to develop some intricate plan to win her back. Maybe you're actually well adjusted. I had this happen to me a few years ago and I said okay and started dating other women and she spent the following 3 years trying to get me to date her so live your life and it will probably work out.
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From personal experience I would have to agree with most of the people above and give her space and move on. She's asking you to be the healthy nurturing presence in her life while completely knowing you want more.
Best thing for you to do is to break off all real pretenses of a relationship with her, even a platonic one.
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On January 29 2013 07:54 KillerSOS wrote:
From personal experience I would have to agree with most of the people above and give her space and move on. She's asking you to be the healthy nurturing presence in her life while completely knowing you want more.
Best thing for you to do is to break off all real pretenses of a relationship with her, even a platonic one.
You make it sound so primitive: if he sees her he will pine for her and can't help himself. How about he sees her and doesn't pine for her?
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On January 29 2013 08:06 Grumbels wrote:Show nested quote +On January 29 2013 07:54 KillerSOS wrote:
From personal experience I would have to agree with most of the people above and give her space and move on. She's asking you to be the healthy nurturing presence in her life while completely knowing you want more.
Best thing for you to do is to break off all real pretenses of a relationship with her, even a platonic one. You make it sound so primitive: if he sees her he will pine for her and can't help himself. How about he sees her and doesn't pine for her?
I'm not saying its perfect advice, only advice given to me in a similar situation that I wish I'd followed.
Everyone's different.
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Well, I think it won't do you any good to see her so much. I had that with my ex and it took ages to really get over her.
Now I think I should have just cut her off and maybe, after having enough distance, slowly start being friends again, but only if you seriously are over her.
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no see her was cool. Just get ur priorities straight. For the most most important part, improve your self value
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On January 29 2013 05:31 Testuser wrote:Show nested quote +"There's something with my ex right now and I'm just a bit confused... So... can we just see each other as friends, for now? I still want you to see you as much as before, but just..." Totally the first time I've run into this. /irony offAnyway, I guess something things are like that. It's cool. We're still seeing each other a ton (or well, I assume so!) and in the end ... forcing things never really achieve great results, so better to just take things as they come and be a nice guy. Not too, she needs to known at least in some way, that I'm wanting for more, but ... it's cool. I feel like I've been dumped quite a few times, so I guess I'm coping with it better this time. And, in the end ... being nice and honest is about all I think you can do. I mean, sometimes it works out, sometimes it really just doesn't. It's cool...
Dude, if you're attracted to this girl, you should cut her off immediately to not only giver her space, because she is going to tear you up inside. She's not really going to do anything, but there's always going to be that doubt. And she might want to try to date both of you at the same time, in which case you should tell her no, or at least no until she tells you differently.
Also, something I've started doing with people is telling them they have one chance to tell the truth at a given moment when shit has been going down, and I'm not sure what to think. I do this because if she is screwing with me and lying about her and him, I have the perfect reason to stop things for the moment, which I'll want to do if she comes back to me and plays with me.
I'm not saying any of this is going to happen because she wants it to. Girls do stupid shit just like guys do. People act on natural reaction sometimes, and while it's a mistake, you still have to give yourself some space to analyze what's really going on.
Sorry if you didn't really want advice, but I just thought I would share my experience in these situations. It's not a ton, but I've dealt my self some pretty nasty hands before, and had to do a lot of thinking after about what went wrong, haha.
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Most likely her being "confused" is a nice way of saying "I don't find you attractive" (or: "I don't find you as attractive as my other options). If you're into emotional masochism, keep seeing her. If you aren't, stop seeing her and do other socials stuff (including girls) to get your mind straight.
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EPT
