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Active: 558 users

Dismounting the high horse

Blogs > fatfail
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fatfail
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States386 Posts
January 09 2013 06:49 GMT
#1
Dear Teamliquid,

I recently posted a blog about acquiring females. A big piece of advice that you guys recommended me was to lower my standards. I've been going about this goal through an innovative training strategy. I have forced myself to masturbate to pictures of all my female facebook friends, alphabetically. The aim of this endeavor is to lower the standards of arousal. So far, it is working very well. My brain is so deprived that I can get horny just by looking at vegetables and trees now. I'll keep you guys updated on how my training goes.



****
Kong fan... <3 Stork <3 Jangbi <3 Yellow <3 Fantasy
DusTerr
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
2520 Posts
January 09 2013 06:58 GMT
#2
omg that made me laugh! :D
Daswollvieh
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
5553 Posts
January 09 2013 07:12 GMT
#3
Why are there people thinking that their penis is interesting to anybody on the internet?

Hormones I guess?
GoTuNk!
Profile Blog Joined September 2006
Chile4591 Posts
January 09 2013 07:17 GMT
#4
rofl, hopefully you don't have obese female friends
Vaelone
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Finland4400 Posts
January 09 2013 07:18 GMT
#5
I guess vegetables are easier to acquire than females, good for you.
Loser777
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
1931 Posts
January 09 2013 07:19 GMT
#6
I thought you could only use your laptop on weekends.
6581
HawaiianPig
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
Canada5155 Posts
January 09 2013 07:35 GMT
#7
5/5
AdministratorNot actually Hawaiian.
RogerX
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
New Zealand3180 Posts
January 09 2013 07:44 GMT
#8
We need a separate section for Penis training in TL

It seems to occur a lot these days
Stick it up. take it up. step aside and see the world
Aerisky
Profile Blog Joined May 2012
United States12129 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-01-09 07:46:54
January 09 2013 07:46 GMT
#9
LOL

Interesting response to what went down in that blog. I like it ROFL
Jim while Johnny had had had had had had had; had had had had the better effect on the teacher.
JOJOsc2news
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
3000 Posts
January 09 2013 07:47 GMT
#10
Quality blog fatfail.
✉ Tweets @sc2channel ⌦ Blog: http://www.teamliquid.net/blog/JOJO ⌫ "Arbiterssss... build more arbiterssss." Click 'Profile' for awesome shiro art!
jrkirby
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States1510 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-01-09 08:23:53
January 09 2013 08:23 GMT
#11
I can imagine how a conversation might go between fatfail and his new girlfriend.

girl says:
Don't you think I'm attractive?

fatfail says:
Of course I do. I'll have you know, I masterbated to all my female friends' pictures.

girl says:
Ew.

fatfail says:
It was hard, especially when I got to the ugly ones. I have finally achieved the lowest standards of arousal possible.


In all seriousness, if your goal is to become a better person, I don't think masterbating to pictures of your friends is a great way to do it.
eviltomahawk
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States11135 Posts
January 09 2013 08:27 GMT
#12
shy [f]ern here. there's more where this came from

+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]


maybe you're more into two hard twins

+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]


and wood you even believe the size of this morning wood

+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]
ㅇㅅㅌㅅ
RogerX
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
New Zealand3180 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-01-09 08:33:23
January 09 2013 08:33 GMT
#13
On January 09 2013 17:27 eviltomahawk wrote:
shy [f]ern here. there's more where this came from

+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]


maybe you're more into two hard twins

+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]


and wood you even believe the size of this morning wood

+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]

That really is a big big piece of wood.

How about a quality threesome of cherries?

+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]
Stick it up. take it up. step aside and see the world
Frits
Profile Joined March 2003
11782 Posts
January 09 2013 10:54 GMT
#14
good call OP, guys who jerk off to their friendlist in alphabetical order get all the chicks
Frits
Profile Joined March 2003
11782 Posts
January 09 2013 11:11 GMT
#15
how is this even dismounting a high horse, this is like dismounting it and then digging your way to the core of the earth
jacosajh
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
2919 Posts
January 09 2013 11:40 GMT
#16
Lol, this is one of the few times I hope you're a troll.
FatChunk
Profile Joined August 2010
Canada93 Posts
January 09 2013 13:34 GMT
#17
If he is a troll, I don't care cause it's made me laugh pretty damned hard.
bonifaceviii
Profile Joined May 2010
Canada2890 Posts
January 09 2013 14:26 GMT
#18
Well played good sir! You get a 5.
Stay a while and listen || http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=354018
kusto
Profile Joined November 2010
Russian Federation823 Posts
January 09 2013 14:44 GMT
#19
Disturbing but entertaining. Good luck with your endeavors...
the game is the game
surfinbird1
Profile Joined September 2009
Germany999 Posts
January 09 2013 14:52 GMT
#20
On January 09 2013 20:11 Frits wrote:
how is this even dismounting a high horse, this is like dismounting it and then digging your way to the core of the earth

And shoveling the dirt in our faces.
life of lively to live to life of full life thx to shield battery
Nesserev
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Belgium2760 Posts
January 09 2013 14:53 GMT
#21
--- Nuked ---
sorrowptoss
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
Canada1431 Posts
January 09 2013 15:16 GMT
#22
This goes straight into the legendary blogs of TL. 5/5 would read again.
corumjhaelen
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
France6884 Posts
January 09 2013 15:29 GMT
#23
So what letter are you at ?
+ Show Spoiler +
No idea how I should rate this...
‎numquam se plus agere quam nihil cum ageret, numquam minus solum esse quam cum solus esset
Heyoka
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
Katowice25012 Posts
January 09 2013 15:53 GMT
#24
Thanks for keeping us updated fatfail. Godspeed, my friend.
@RealHeyoka | ESL / DreamHack StarCraft Lead
LML
Profile Blog Joined March 2007
Germany1764 Posts
January 09 2013 16:34 GMT
#25
In order to prove your sexual secureness (very important) you should not only go through your female friends.
LML
Incze
Profile Blog Joined December 2011
Romania2058 Posts
January 09 2013 16:46 GMT
#26
Hmm...food for thought.
Religion: Buckethead
QuanticHawk
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States32054 Posts
January 09 2013 17:04 GMT
#27
next step is to work on dealing with rejection. You got to print out those photos, use them and then talk to the person about it after!
PROFESSIONAL GAMER - SEND ME OFFERS TO JOIN YOUR TEAM - USA USA USA
OpticalShot
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Canada6330 Posts
January 09 2013 17:05 GMT
#28
On January 09 2013 16:35 HawaiianPig wrote:
5/5

Nothing more to add...
[TLMS] REBOOT
Chairman Ray
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
United States11903 Posts
January 09 2013 17:07 GMT
#29
Please post all the facebook pictures here with your ratings on their attractiveness.
Thrill
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
2599 Posts
January 09 2013 17:14 GMT
#30
5/5.
kollin
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United Kingdom8380 Posts
January 09 2013 17:14 GMT
#31
This is quality.
Qwyn
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States2779 Posts
January 09 2013 18:26 GMT
#32
ROFL this is so disturbing.
"Think of the hysteria following the realization that they consciously consume babies and raise the dead people from their graves" - N0
RoyGBiv_13
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States1275 Posts
January 09 2013 18:59 GMT
#33
Alphabetical order is so arbitrary. I think that part of your plan could be optimized. Try arranging them by height and hair color.
+ Show Spoiler +
5/5
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic
Abstinence
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
United States328 Posts
January 09 2013 19:26 GMT
#34
5/5. Revolutionary social developments going on here at teamliquid.
Flossy
Profile Blog Joined August 2011
United States870 Posts
January 09 2013 21:00 GMT
#35
Why isn't this sPotlighted yet?
etternaonline.com
Roffles *
Profile Blog Joined April 2007
Pitcairn19291 Posts
January 09 2013 21:09 GMT
#36
ROFL

10/5. Fuck 5/5. This deserves 10 stars.
God Bless
Carnivorous Sheep
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
Baa?21243 Posts
January 09 2013 21:14 GMT
#37
We require more updates as this progresses.
TranslatorBaa!
GeneralSnoop
Profile Joined February 2011
United States142 Posts
January 09 2013 21:29 GMT
#38
5/5. one of the best blogs i've ever read.....anywhere
"I could probably live in trees" - LiquidJinro
docvoc
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States5491 Posts
January 09 2013 22:09 GMT
#39
On January 10 2013 06:14 Carnivorous Sheep wrote:
We require more updates as this progresses.

For science, of course.
User was warned for too many mimes.
phosphorylation
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States2935 Posts
January 09 2013 22:10 GMT
#40
To inject some seriousness into this thread, fatfail, if you continue upon this route, perhaps you will find increased chances with the girls given your humor and charms.
Buy prints of my photographs at Redbubble -> http://www.redbubble.com/people/shoenberg3
csikos27
Profile Joined May 2011
United States135 Posts
January 09 2013 22:24 GMT
#41
this is pretty funny, glad i clicked ;D
eviltomahawk
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States11135 Posts
January 09 2013 22:59 GMT
#42
On January 10 2013 07:10 phosphorylation wrote:
To inject some seriousness into this thread, fatfail, if you continue upon this route, perhaps you will find increased chances with the girls given your humor and charms.

or he could just become a kinkier tree hugger if you know what i mean
ㅇㅅㅌㅅ
Linwelin
Profile Joined March 2011
Ireland7554 Posts
January 09 2013 23:10 GMT
#43
Quality blog
Fuck Razor and Death Prophet
VarmVaffel
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Norway378 Posts
January 09 2013 23:54 GMT
#44
5/5 would laugh at again
Brindled
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States508 Posts
January 10 2013 00:04 GMT
#45
Came back after yesterday to see if I would still laugh.

Worked.

5/5
Ua Mau ke Ea o ka ʻĀina i ka Pono @TL_Brindled11
krndandaman
Profile Joined August 2009
Mozambique16569 Posts
January 10 2013 00:51 GMT
#46
--- Nuked ---
Blisse
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Canada3710 Posts
January 10 2013 01:10 GMT
#47
This was so bad I can't tell if you're making this up. XD
There is no one like you in the universe.
WikidSik
Profile Blog Joined November 2011
Canada382 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-01-10 01:22:13
January 10 2013 01:21 GMT
#48
for a seccond I thought this was an aTnClouD blog LOL. have fun fucking trees

EDIT: LOL this is my 100th post
Iv been here for 5.5 years. My other accounts are named "Sonu" and "Dalroti" || I had some more but I cant find them XD || known in sc2 as "Sonu"
ymir233
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
United States8275 Posts
January 10 2013 01:51 GMT
#49
waiting till you visit a farm
Come motivate me to be cynical about animus at http://infinityandone.blogspot.com/ // Stork proxy gates are beautiful.
Waxangel
Profile Blog Joined September 2002
United States33388 Posts
January 10 2013 01:52 GMT
#50
cloud needs to step it up ;o
AdministratorHey HP can you redo everything youve ever done because i have a small complaint?
farvacola
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States18826 Posts
January 10 2013 01:59 GMT
#51
On January 10 2013 09:51 krndandaman wrote:
Sounds like a hilarious documentary special could be made on this.

fatfail: acquiring females

You forgot the rest of the title!

fatfail: Acquiring Females, One Tree at a Time.
"when the Dead Kennedys found out they had skinhead fans, they literally wrote a song titled 'Nazi Punks Fuck Off'"
docvoc
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States5491 Posts
January 10 2013 02:40 GMT
#52
On January 10 2013 10:59 farvacola wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 10 2013 09:51 krndandaman wrote:
Sounds like a hilarious documentary special could be made on this.

fatfail: acquiring females

You forgot the rest of the title!

fatfail: Acquiring Females, One Tree at a Time.

You know what they say about things that come from trees, reduce, reuse, recylce .
User was warned for too many mimes.
N.geNuity
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States5112 Posts
January 10 2013 03:05 GMT
#53
Do you have every letter covered (going by last or first name?). Something like "Q" or "U" or "Y" or "X" may be hard to cover depending on your demographics, and you don't want to be biased towards any particular letter. Be sure to friend someone if a letter is missing.

defriend any family or cousins.

good luck on your quest!
iu, seungah, yura, taeyeon, hyosung, lizzy, suji, sojin, jia, ji eun, eunji, soya, younha, jiyeon, fiestar, sinb, jung myung hoon godtier. BW FOREVERR
MountainDewJunkie
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
United States10341 Posts
January 10 2013 03:41 GMT
#54
5
[21:07] <Shock710> whats wrong with her face [20:50] <dAPhREAk> i beat it the day after it came out | <BLinD-RawR> esports is a giant vagina
Aerisky
Profile Blog Joined May 2012
United States12129 Posts
January 10 2013 06:07 GMT
#55
The comments are even better. Kudos to fatfail for making a total win blog :D
Jim while Johnny had had had had had had had; had had had had the better effect on the teacher.
SiyaenSokol
Profile Joined December 2012
South Africa16 Posts
January 10 2013 07:09 GMT
#56
That was a random and interesting post xD Good luck my friend.
krndandaman
Profile Joined August 2009
Mozambique16569 Posts
January 10 2013 07:44 GMT
#57
--- Nuked ---
Typhoon1789
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
Australia292 Posts
January 10 2013 08:21 GMT
#58
Haha well played sir.

5/5
Professional Cunt.
Azera
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
3800 Posts
January 10 2013 09:33 GMT
#59
what the fuck o.o this is weird
Check out some great music made by TLers - http://bit.ly/QXYhdb , by intrigue. http://bit.ly/RTjpOR , by ohsea.toc.
Frits
Profile Joined March 2003
11782 Posts
January 10 2013 09:55 GMT
#60
On January 10 2013 16:44 krndandaman wrote:
lol he's a senior in highschool right...? I think I found his facebook...


eh keep it to yourself and don't ruin someone's social life

seriously let's keep it a joke
krndandaman
Profile Joined August 2009
Mozambique16569 Posts
January 10 2013 10:09 GMT
#61
--- Nuked ---
Mothra
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
United States1448 Posts
January 10 2013 23:01 GMT
#62
After masturbating A through Z, you must mount the low horse to complete your training.
fatfail
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States386 Posts
January 11 2013 00:13 GMT
#63
Guys it isn't working. Although it is easier to get aroused, quotidian females still pale in comparison to attractive ones. I need to find a method to fetishize obese and unattractive females. Help.
Kong fan... <3 Stork <3 Jangbi <3 Yellow <3 Fantasy
ibanez
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
75 Posts
January 11 2013 00:36 GMT
#64
On January 11 2013 09:13 fatfail wrote:
Guys it isn't working. Although it is easier to get aroused, quotidian females still pale in comparison to attractive ones. I need to find a method to fetishize obese and unattractive females. Help.


Deprive yourself of sexual stimulation for one entire month, and then relieve yourself to one of those perceptively 'unattractive' girls. Good luck!
Kalingingsong
Profile Joined September 2009
Canada633 Posts
January 11 2013 00:38 GMT
#65
after masturbating so much you much be low on protein, don't forget to eat.
Dess.JadeFalcon
ymir233
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
United States8275 Posts
January 11 2013 03:31 GMT
#66
On January 11 2013 09:13 fatfail wrote:
Guys it isn't working. Although it is easier to get aroused, quotidian females still pale in comparison to attractive ones. I need to find a method to fetishize obese and unattractive females. Help.


I'm sure Japan has a solution for that somewhere.
Come motivate me to be cynical about animus at http://infinityandone.blogspot.com/ // Stork proxy gates are beautiful.
Blisse
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Canada3710 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-01-11 04:42:54
January 11 2013 03:41 GMT
#67
On January 11 2013 09:13 fatfail wrote:
Guys it isn't working. Although it is easier to get aroused, quotidian females still pale in comparison to attractive ones. I need to find a method to fetishize obese and unattractive females. Help.



Now that you're aroused to everything, the next task is to be aroused at nothing. You need to control your emotions, and not let your emotions rule you. Women want someone who talks to them like a human being, not like a crazed sex addict aroused by trees. Good luck and keep us updated!
There is no one like you in the universe.
liberal
Profile Joined November 2011
1116 Posts
January 11 2013 04:39 GMT
#68
LOL this thread is hilarious, 5/5 OP.
QuanticHawk
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States32054 Posts
January 11 2013 14:09 GMT
#69
On January 11 2013 09:13 fatfail wrote:
Guys it isn't working. Although it is easier to get aroused, quotidian females still pale in comparison to attractive ones. I need to find a method to fetishize obese and unattractive females. Help.

have you ever heard of the term........ beer goggles....
PROFESSIONAL GAMER - SEND ME OFFERS TO JOIN YOUR TEAM - USA USA USA
OpticalShot
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Canada6330 Posts
January 11 2013 16:01 GMT
#70
On January 11 2013 09:13 fatfail wrote:
Guys it isn't working. Although it is easier to get aroused, quotidian females still pale in comparison to attractive ones. I need to find a method to fetishize obese and unattractive females. Help.

You've got to introduce the element of RAGE into your fetishes. Let the anger consume your mind. They are defenceless. Take your hands. Stroke with all your hatred and your journey towards the dark side will be complete!
[TLMS] REBOOT
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