On January 04 2013 16:30 hp.Shell wrote:

There is a voice inside your head. That's definitely true. There's a voice that says "hey look, dirty dishes; I should do them now so they are clean next time I want to eat something." That one usually talks first. Then there can be another voice, "I'll do it later, it doesn't NEED to be done now, I'm young, I have all the time in the world to do the dishes." But really washing the dishes by hand is a simple task that doesn't take more than 10 minutes if there are a lot to do.

I feel a little pang right now as I just walked away from a massive pile of dirty dishes that i just stuck in the sink with some water and said, 'I don't feel like washing these right now.' I've been saying that for four days now and I really just don't want to do them, or go to work, or anything really.

I've always battled depression on and off especially after high school. I find it hard to not slip into it when you don't see people you like every day, all day. College was really hard for me, to a point where I usually didn't want to even leave my room. The same is true now too. My previous job I loved my staff, loved coming in to work, loved seeing everyone and didn't mind that I had work to do, the people made it easy. Ever since I got promoted and moved locations I've loathed going to work everyday. I don't especially care for any of the people there. The work is more stressful and less rewarding. And the new location is a mess of logistical and personnel problems. Now I just want to stay in my room, I'm too tired to go out with my friends, and even my girlfriend's presence, which has been my rock when I've been depressed, isn't helping all that much. I guess I never realized it until right now either. Huh.

Well I guess this has been a bit of a wake up call. I'm going to go do my dishes, thanks hp.Shell.

NKB

United Kingdom608 Posts

January 04 2013 18:38 GMT

#45

Good blog nony, hope to see things get better for you and everything works out ^__^

Max2Air

Germany92 Posts

January 04 2013 19:52 GMT

#46

Just do whatever makes you reach happiness. Good Luck with that =)

One day Nony is gonna rise and its gonna be glorious :D

All the best to you.

fabiano

Brazil4644 Posts

January 04 2013 21:18 GMT

#47

Hey Nony, any chance we are going to see you playing the TLS?

Thrill

2599 Posts

January 04 2013 21:41 GMT

#48

Shouldn't have read stream chat.

kabar

United States616 Posts

January 04 2013 22:17 GMT

#49

keep fighting nony. one step at a time. brick by brick. good blog.

KurtistheTurtle

United States1966 Posts

January 04 2013 22:31 GMT

#50

I don't know if you'll read this, but consider getting a dog. It'll wake you up early, give you good long walks every day & cheer you up every time you come home. Get's you out of your head and somehow the dog gives you permission to enjoy simple pleasure purely because it does so much.

WikidSik

Canada382 Posts

January 04 2013 23:21 GMT

#51

hey nony remembered when you destroyed idra in TSL2 in bw (so much esports cant remember when you played him in sc2). Remember when idra was like "no plz nony no DONT DO IT AAAAAA" *rip*
remember that nony

just do it just like that :D

CutieBK

Sweden227 Posts

January 04 2013 23:28 GMT

#52

Nony, I think you're an awesome guy. Having the guts to go public with the stuff you're struggling with is really inspiring and brave.

I wish you all the best! Hope the new routine works as well as you deserve

xXFireandIceXx

Canada4296 Posts

January 04 2013 23:32 GMT

#53

Excited to see you return whenever that may be.

ThomasjServo

15244 Posts

January 04 2013 23:51 GMT

#54

On January 04 2013 19:39 tonight wrote:
I'm never going to know you now, but I'm going to love you anyhow.

Elliott Smith makes too much sense sometimes. Not that it is a bad thing, but when I get into funks I am amazed at how much I relate to that material.

I know how you feel NonY, keep working at it. My new years resolution is simply to learn to be ok. I don't think it'll be easy but I need to do this for me and those in my life goodly enough to care about me.

Jinxed

United States6450 Posts

January 05 2013 00:31 GMT

#55

Tyler, there really are not too many like yourself.

Keep being awesome, keep doing what you love, and truly make sure you love it to its fullest.

We'll still be here whenever you come back, for now enjoy life, and go live it.