EPTI work at a local coffee shop in my hometown. Frequently - when I work the closing shift there is a lot of down time when I have cleaned everything and am just waiting to close up. Sometimes I use this time to free write on the back of pamphlets and flyers people bring into the shop (but never the lost dog signs that would be cruel). Since these pieces have to be necessarily brief (I still have to do SOME work) they usually wind up being random hooks or short fables. I figured I would post them here to see what the community thinks of them.
So without further ado I give you -
The Two Brothers and the Magic Garden
Once upon a time there were two brothers - Bob and Vladimir - who lived in a small house in a magical garden by the bank of a river at the edge of a valley at the foot of a mountain in a forest by the sea. Bob and Vladimir tilled the soils of the magical garden and planted magical plants that grew great glistening fruits the likes of which our eyes will never see. They accomplished this using magical sentient tools they had been gifted by the Goddess of the Harvest. There was the trusty spade - Alex, the whimsical wheelbarrow - Marty, the beautiful hoe - Frank, the courageous rake - Carl and their many assorted tool friends. Life was peaceful in the magical garden and the brothers and their friends lived in a happy state of mutualism which was wonderful and beautiful and good.
One fateful day - Bob fell into the well in the middle of the garden.
"Vlad!" he called.
Vladimir heard his brother shouting and rushed to his aid.
"Hullo, Bob!" he called into the well.
Meanwhile - from the house - came the sound of Frank calling as well.
"Vladimir!" he shouted.
"Are you alright down there Bob?" Vladimir queried into the damp abyss.
"Well I seem to have broken several bones and suffered serious internal bleeding, don't you know," Bob replied.
"Vladimir!" Frank called again.
"Do you require assistance, Bob?" Vladimir called down to his brother.
"Well, as several of my broken bones appear to have punctured my skin I would seem to be losing a rather large quantity of blood, don't you know. I think a rope-like device employed to lift me from this gloamish cavern is in order."
"Vladimir!!!!" came the ever more urgent cry from the house.
"Well sit tight brother," Vladimir placated, "I'm going to go see what Frank wants."
Vladimir returned to the house and opened the door - across the room Frank was eyeing himself critically in the mirror. He turned to Vladimir.
"Does this new handle make me look fat?"
Meanwhile - in the well - Bob bled out and died.
THE END
Moral: Bros before Hoes
