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Part 1
Part 2
Part 3:
Anyway, shortly after reasserting some marginal part of power in my relationship with Jane, I found myself graduating from High School and moving into college. My university was in the same city as I grew up, so I just lived with my parents and biked to school. I actually started two weeks after I graduated. I spent my first few weeks of summer trying my very best not to think about Jane, but every time I rode my bike back from school, my route took me by her house.
Of course, I ran into Jane riding home and stopped and chatted with her for a while. She was going to Europe for a few weeks while I was in school, but really wanted to do something with me before she left. I told her I would call, and then proceeded to spend the weekend climbing and refusing to call Jane, mostly because my buddies made me go so a movie with them and anytime I was thinking about getting up and calling Jane I got gang tackled.
The next few weeks passed, I was finally not thinking about Jane (I took a different way home, even though it was like an extra mile out of the way, totally worth it.) I was doing well with my studies, had everything figured out, and then I get a call from Jane. Remember, at this point I didn’t have a cell phone (only the rich kids had them) and my parents didn’t have caller ID, so I couldn’t dodge Jane’s calls. Being the weak moron I was, I told her that sure I could come see Spiderman 2 with her and a couple of friends. We get to the movie with Jane, her best friend and her best friend’s new boyfriend (Tyler and Trisha), and me. I was thinking this was going to be platonic, but all our other friends conveniently didn’t show up. Definitely not cool, especially because I was finally getting over Jane and was perfectly content to just hang out with a bunch of friends and have her on the sideline for once. So, of course we get into the theater and Jane tells me that we were going to sit away from Tyler and Trisha to give them some space. The rest of the movie, I started thinking about how good she smelled, how cute she was, wait did she just brush my hand? Is that her hand on her leg? What does that MEAN?!! (Note, it means to grab her hand, girls don’t put their hands on their legs closest to you unless they want to hold hands). Needless to say, I could barely remember anything about what was arguably the best movie of the series, and could only think about her.
What’s even worse, on the way home Jane dropped Tyler and Trisha off and she and I spent 10 minutes. So, What do I do, I decide that YES I really like Jane again. We spend a little bit chatting in the car, and we’re flirting like crazy. Then I look at the goddamn clock. It’s 12:00 and if I’m not in the house in under 5 seconds my parents are going to kill me. I bounce as fast as possible, but not before agreeing to go to a party with her the next night. One of our good friends was leaving to go to college in Hawaii and she wanted me to come along. I walked into my house, my parents look at me “wow that was close. You know if you were hanging out with Jane, we wouldn’t have minded if you’d just stayed out a little longer. We saw her car out there” FML. Why the hell do my parents decide to be nice for once. BUT, I bounce on this opportunity and ask them if I can stay out extra late the next night and I explain everything. They give the green light and I’m off to the races.
The next night comes along, I get picked up by Jane and Trisha and some other girls and we go to this party. It was a pretty fun party, but I decide that I had to get away from Jane for a while. She had been trying to cajole me into taking a class with her in the fall and I didn’t want someone to bring up my school and remind her to pester me about it again. The party is going great, and then I look over at Jane flirting it up with this other guy. She caught my eye and smiled at me. The realization hit me like a rock. That little bitch was flirting with the other guy to make me jealous. WHAT THE FUCK? WHO DOES SHIT LIKE THAT? Even with this realization dawning on me, I couldn’t help it! I wanted to go punch the lights out of the other guy (it didn’t help that he was a completely arrogant pretty boy who always was trying to hit on Jane, bastard). So, being the classy little smart ass I am, I walk over to a chick that I know Jane hates and start flirting with her. Show you, you stupid little bitch. This girl was actually a knockout. We’ll call her Sarah. Sarah and Jane were friends back in the day, but then Sarah got huge boobs and it pissed Jane off and so they were no longer friends. I was decent friends with Sarah, but this was my chance to fight off the jealousy bug. So Sarah and I are actually starting to really flirt like crazy, but the party is starting to break off and Sarah just lives next door. We go our separate ways.
In the car, Jane and I are alone once again in front of my house. Jane asks me how I liked the party and blah blah blah. Then she asks a fateful question “so, what did you and Sarah talk about?” Oh nothing much, etc etc etc. Jane and I then get into this crazy discussion about things way too serious. We’d been sitting in the car for almost two hours when she looks at me and tells me that she had asked dickface bastard who he had kissed. She tried to get it out of him, but he wouldn’t tell her. Then Jane offered to kiss him if he would tell her everyone that he had kissed. For some reason he didn’t take the bait?? So, she looks over at me, and asks “what would you have done in that situation?” I tell her that I doubt I would tell Jane (mostly because she was the worst gossip ever), but that I hadn’t really kissed any girls so it wouldn’t really matter. She leaned in really close “so even if I was this close to you, and made the same offer, you wouldn’t kiss me? I looked down at her. She had this look on her face that told me that now was my chance. I was paralyzed. She smiled at me and leaned even closer. I was going to go for it. And then, I gave her a hug!? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU 18 YEAR OLD JACOBINE! WHAT THE FUCK.
I am not lying. I literally gave this girl a hug. I quickly finished the car, made some ultra awkward stutters, made my excuses, and went inside. Why was I this terrible? I could have this chick. She had offered herself on a platter to me, and I didn’t do anything.
Next Up: College- Fall Semester
Will Sarah make a reappearance in college? Will Jacobine ever get action? TUNE IN NEXT TIME!
Edit: Fixed all the J names for clarity
 
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That last part were you gave her a hug had me almost made me die from laughter. Seriously though wat a bitch for inviting you then flirting with another guy to make you jealous.
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Are you kidding me?!
FFS dude.. what in the world happened... what in the dear world...
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We get to the movie with Jane, her best friend and her best friend’s new boyfriend (Joe and June)
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This girl was actually a knockout. We’ll call her Jessica. Jessica and Jane were friends back in the day, but then Jessica got huge boobs and it pissed Jane off and so they were no longer friends.
Jacobine United States. November 10 2012 10:28. Posts 121
That's a lot of J's. Why. =X
Also that's the dumbest reason to no longer be friends wtf.
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I know I know, J's just on me mind, if It's too confusing i'll go back and switch the names
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O my god you are the biggest idiot ever hahaha.. I also find it adorable that your parents are so actively trying to not cock block you haha
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Tune in next week on... The life of Jacobine!!!
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On November 10 2012 12:00 babylon wrote:
Also that's the dumbest reason to no longer be friends wtf.
We were in high school and she was a jealous Bitch
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5/5
I would read for laughs again.
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God damn son, I don't even...
Keep going though, that was an interesting read XD
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You had an interesting life
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AHAHAHAHAH
Oh my god, most I've laughed reading a blog here in awhile, well done.
Incredible if it's actually true. Will keep reading
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Dude you're a fantastic story teller. This is a really great blog so far ^_^
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I can't tell if stupid or just really bad at taking hints. Though I could probably do something like this with the number of girls that I've been foot in mouth retarded about -_-;;;;.
EDIT: now that I think about it, I feel your pain bro.
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That's pretty terrible but thanks for sharing. But jesus man, take some time to work on a more confident mindset and then psyche yourself up every morning, so that next time you kiss the girl it's about time 
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Oh man, I know EXACTLY how you feel.
You see, I was once making out with my then-girlfriend one night, and it was completely obvious that she wanted to have sex. She was dropping hints left and right about how she couldn't believe that she would lose her virginity to me. Finally, after she teased me about how "little eviltomahawk is getting hard," I stopped making out with her and fucking APOLOGIZED. And then I left. FUCK.
I never had an opportunity like that again. I managed to get one more kiss out of her before she broke up with me a month later.
And then I find out that she later dated my friend and had sex with him. And I'm still here with my virginity intact.
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On November 10 2012 17:44 Battleaxe wrote:
Incredible if it's actually true. Will keep reading
Quite Sadly, this story is entirely true. It did happen 8 plus years ago, so there might be some inaccuracies, but this is as close to reality as I can make it. If anything, I was being generous towards myself. I really was that awkward.
On November 11 2012 00:02 Scholera wrote:That's pretty terrible but thanks for sharing. But jesus man, take some time to work on a more confident mindset and then psyche yourself up every morning, so that next time you kiss the girl it's about time
I think I'll have to finish my story with my current situation, it will bring hope to even the most hopeless of men.
On November 10 2012 17:42 Incze wrote:
You had an interesting life
It didn't seem like it at the time! My life just felt like it was a mix between awful awful pain and moments of pure adrenaline (rock climbing). I'm pretty sure the reason that I rock climbed so much was because I needed a coping mechanism.
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On November 11 2012 00:04 eviltomahawk wrote:
Oh man, I know EXACTLY how you feel.
You see, I was once making out with my then-girlfriend one night, and it was completely obvious that she wanted to have sex. She was dropping hints left and right about how she couldn't believe that she would lose her virginity to me. Finally, after she teased me about how "little eviltomahawk is getting hard," I stopped making out with her and fucking APOLOGIZED. And then I left. FUCK.
I never had an opportunity like that again. I managed to get one more kiss out of her before she broke up with me a month later.
And then I find out that she later dated my friend and had sex with him. And I'm still here with my virginity intact.
Wow, TL is a really unique community.
I fucking love it <3 <3
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Oh god you did it again... This feels like skipping through the talking part in porns to get to the action.
On November 11 2012 00:04 eviltomahawk wrote:
Oh man, I know EXACTLY how you feel.
You see, I was once making out with my then-girlfriend one night, and it was completely obvious that she wanted to have sex. She was dropping hints left and right about how she couldn't believe that she would lose her virginity to me. Finally, after she teased me about how "little eviltomahawk is getting hard," I stopped making out with her and fucking APOLOGIZED. And then I left. FUCK.
I never had an opportunity like that again. I managed to get one more kiss out of her before she broke up with me a month later.
And then I find out that she later dated my friend and had sex with him. And I'm still here with my virginity intact.
I don't believe this. I don't.
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TLADT24920 Posts
Great blog! Her flirting with someone else to make you jealous and you doing the same, priceless! XD
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On November 11 2012 04:17 BigFan wrote:
Great blog! Her flirting with someone else to make you jealous and you doing the same, priceless! XD
Ya, that's another good point for high school guys. If a girl is screwing with your head, go flirt with someone that she hates.
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Well at least she didn't take you to see Spiderman 3....
I once had a shot at a girl who really liked me. Though after one date I determined I wasn't into her at all. So at the end of the night, when she was expecting a kiss, I lean in and give her a hug. Step back once, twice, then utter the phrase, "That's all you get," like I'm some stupid player. I get back into my car and drive home laughing to myself the entire way.
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On November 11 2012 04:55 metbull wrote:
Well at least she didn't take you to see Spiderman 3....
I once had a shot at a girl who really liked me. Though after one date I determined I wasn't into her at all. So at the end of the night, when she was expecting a kiss, I lean in and give her a hug. Step back once, twice, then utter the phrase, "That's all you get," like I'm some stupid player. I get back into my car and drive home laughing to myself the entire way.
That is a gem of a quote. I wish I had thought of something half as brilliant. Instead.. I just got the awkward walk back into my house realizing that I really was a huge moron lol.
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On November 11 2012 03:13 Garnet wrote:Oh god you did it again... This feels like skipping through the talking part in porns to get to the action. Show nested quote +On November 11 2012 00:04 eviltomahawk wrote:
Oh man, I know EXACTLY how you feel.
You see, I was once making out with my then-girlfriend one night, and it was completely obvious that she wanted to have sex. She was dropping hints left and right about how she couldn't believe that she would lose her virginity to me. Finally, after she teased me about how "little eviltomahawk is getting hard," I stopped making out with her and fucking APOLOGIZED. And then I left. FUCK.
I never had an opportunity like that again. I managed to get one more kiss out of her before she broke up with me a month later.
And then I find out that she later dated my friend and had sex with him. And I'm still here with my virginity intact. I don't believe this. I don't.
It's true.
Also, her family was out grocery shopping, so I wasn't sure about timing. I was unsure if it was too early in the relationship. And finally, I didn't have a condom. I was hoping to be ready the next time, but there was never a next time.
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On November 10 2012 12:08 B.I.G. wrote:
O my god you are the biggest idiot ever hahaha.. I also find it adorable that your parents are so actively trying to not cock block you haha
hahaahaha, oh man you made laugh with this lol
On November 11 2012 05:55 Jacobine wrote:Show nested quote +On November 11 2012 04:55 metbull wrote:
Well at least she didn't take you to see Spiderman 3....
I once had a shot at a girl who really liked me. Though after one date I determined I wasn't into her at all. So at the end of the night, when she was expecting a kiss, I lean in and give her a hug. Step back once, twice, then utter the phrase, "That's all you get," like I'm some stupid player. I get back into my car and drive home laughing to myself the entire way. That is a gem of a quote. I wish I had thought of something half as brilliant. Instead.. I just got the awkward walk back into my house realizing that I really was a huge moron lol.
hahahaha this is why i love TL
On November 11 2012 00:04 eviltomahawk wrote:
Oh man, I know EXACTLY how you feel.
You see, I was once making out with my then-girlfriend one night, and it was completely obvious that she wanted to have sex. She was dropping hints left and right about how she couldn't believe that she would lose her virginity to me. Finally, after she teased me about how "little eviltomahawk is getting hard," I stopped making out with her and fucking APOLOGIZED. And then I left. FUCK.
I never had an opportunity like that again. I managed to get one more kiss out of her before she broke up with me a month later.
And then I find out that she later dated my friend and had sex with him. And I'm still here with my virginity intact.
no way man, i catn accept that, i cant
btw 5/5 man, always fun to read others disgraces
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On November 10 2012 12:08 B.I.G. wrote:
O my god you are the biggest idiot ever hahaha.. I also find it adorable that your parents are so actively trying to not cock block you haha
Ya I was really surprised that my parents so actively wanted me to get some action especially because their curfew rules screwed me over many many times over the years.
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TLADT24920 Posts
On November 12 2012 13:50 Jacobine wrote:Show nested quote +On November 10 2012 12:08 B.I.G. wrote:
O my god you are the biggest idiot ever hahaha.. I also find it adorable that your parents are so actively trying to not cock block you haha Ya I was really surprised that my parents so actively wanted me to get some action especially because their curfew rules screwed me over many many times over the years.
My guess would be that they thought of her as a good person(not saying she isn't lol) and wanted you to get together with her. That or someone told them/they noticed that you like her and thought they are doing you a favor by allowing some leniency on your curfew.
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Hahahahaha a hug. "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU 18 YEAR OLD JACOBINE!" had me laughing hard. I really want to read the next part right now! Keep up the good work.
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On November 11 2012 04:46 Jacobine wrote:Show nested quote +On November 11 2012 04:17 BigFan wrote:
Great blog! Her flirting with someone else to make you jealous and you doing the same, priceless! XD Ya, that's another good point for high school guys. If a girl is screwing with your head, go flirt with someone that she hates.
No, that's a terrible point. If a girl is screwing with you, fucking drop her. Don't lower yourself to the complete level of bullshit that you rage against. Rise above and move on. No one is worth much trouble, to be honest.
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On November 13 2012 13:05 MountainDewJunkie wrote:Show nested quote +On November 11 2012 04:46 Jacobine wrote:On November 11 2012 04:17 BigFan wrote:
Great blog! Her flirting with someone else to make you jealous and you doing the same, priceless! XD Ya, that's another good point for high school guys. If a girl is screwing with your head, go flirt with someone that she hates. No, that's a terrible point. If a girl is screwing with you, fucking drop her. Don't lower yourself to the complete level of bullshit that you rage against. Rise above and move on. No one is worth much trouble, to be honest.
It wasn't so much as "get a girl to hang out with you" so much as a big fuck you to the girl, obviously wasn't very clear on my part
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On November 11 2012 00:04 eviltomahawk wrote:
You see, I was once making out with my then-girlfriend one night, and it was completely obvious that she wanted to have sex. She was dropping hints left and right about how she couldn't believe that she would lose her virginity to me. Finally, after she teased me about how "little eviltomahawk is getting hard," I stopped making out with her and fucking APOLOGIZED. And then I left. FUCK.
I read your post before reading your name. And was like, who calls a penis a little evil tomahawk?!
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On November 11 2012 04:55 metbull wrote:
Well at least she didn't take you to see Spiderman 3....
I once had a shot at a girl who really liked me. Though after one date I determined I wasn't into her at all. So at the end of the night, when she was expecting a kiss, I lean in and give her a hug. Step back once, twice, then utter the phrase, "That's all you get," like I'm some stupid player. I get back into my car and drive home laughing to myself the entire way.
Omg I am dying of laughter. Can't breathe... hahaahaah
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On November 18 2012 04:28 Garnet wrote:
One week and no part 4?
It'll be Monday or Tuesday because I have my final memo due and am spending a ton of time on that, but it's due Monday so hopefully I can write in then.
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Hey. Jaco. Where ya been? its been a month since no part 4? hope you're doing good and getting your work done, looking forward to when u get the chance to write.
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On December 06 2012 01:09 FatChunk wrote:
Hey. Jaco. Where ya been? its been a month since no part 4? hope you're doing good and getting your work done, looking forward to when u get the chance to write.
Law School Finals are taking up too much time. I am done next week w/ them and will probably post a week from friday or so. I've been spending 14+ hours a day for the last few weeks studying... so this hasn't been the highest of priorities. Hopefully it pays off lol.
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On November 11 2012 00:04 eviltomahawk wrote:
Oh man, I know EXACTLY how you feel.
You see, I was once making out with my then-girlfriend one night, and it was completely obvious that she wanted to have sex. She was dropping hints left and right about how she couldn't believe that she would lose her virginity to me. Finally, after she teased me about how "little eviltomahawk is getting hard," I stopped making out with her and fucking APOLOGIZED. And then I left. FUCK.
I never had an opportunity like that again. I managed to get one more kiss out of her before she broke up with me a month later.
And then I find out that she later dated my friend and had sex with him. And I'm still here with my virginity intact.
"little eviltomahawk" made me lose it. I'm rolling around on the floor. God I love TL.
OT: I really like this blog, please continue updating it 
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EPT
