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TL Noir, Part 4

Blogs > vGl-CoW
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vGl-CoW
Profile Blog Joined December 2002
Belgium8305 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-11-08 16:07:31
October 12 2012 16:22 GMT
#1
The hospital isn't too far from TL HQ, in a central part of town. It's a big five-story building, with white brick walls and dozens of light blue windows. It looks almost too cheerful for a place of pain and misery. There's a huge sign on the roof that says HEALTH. The building next door is a gym, with a similar sign saying FITNESS. I like how straightforward this city can sometimes be.

I walk up to the main entrance, the glass doors slide open and I'm greeted by a male nurse sitting at a reception desk.
“Hello sir, can I help you?”
“You can. I'm Cow, official moderator.” I flash him my wrist device and briefly feel extremely cool. “I'm looking for a girl named Kiett. She was brought in here recently. Trolling victim. I need to ask her some questions.”
“Certainly, sir. One second please, let me look her up.” He swivels his chair towards an old computer on his desk, taps a few keys and momentarily squints at the screen. “Ah, yes. She's in the burn ward, third floor. Just take that elevator and you can't miss it.”

I thank him and get up to the third floor. As I leave the elevator and cross a hallway into a large, darkened room, I am overwhelmed by a heavy, bacon-like smell. My stomach turns as I realize this is the smell of burned human flesh. I can make out dozens of beds, placed in rows on either side of the room, filled with woeful silhouettes. A soft, pitiful moaning pervades the air, seemingly coming from every corner. All in all, it's one of the more depressing places I've visited in my life, ranking a close second to my late grandmother's old retirement home.
I spot Kiett's bed and crouch down next to it to get her attention. She's tucked in under some bed sheets, but I can tell that most of her body is covered in bandages. She stares at me in a silent confusion for a few seconds until she recognizes me, and then her face lights up a little bit.
“Cow...”
“Hi, Kiett. Burn ward, huh? I always said you were too hot for your own good.”
She cracks a wry smile and lets out a small cough. “What a terrible joke.”
“Well, you still smiled,” I reply. “I'm here to ask you some questions, Kiett. What happened to you? Who did this?”
She looks at her wrapped-up arms and softly says, “I don't know who did this. A guy, someone I'd never seen before. Around twenty-five, maybe thirty years old. He was wearing a hoodie. It was hard to see his face. Sorry...”
“It's okay, don't worry about it,” I tell her. “If this guy is the troll we're looking for, then it doesn't matter what he looked like. He has switched bodies a bunch of times. Probably looks completely different by now. Can you tell me what happened?”
“The weather was nice, so I figured I'd find myself a nice spot in the park to make my daily Bisu drawing. This guy was suddenly standing in front of me, blocking my sun. I didn't even notice him coming, must have been too focused on my work. He complimented my drawing, but then started talking about how it was too bad that Bisu's performance had been so terrible lately and that it was probably because of all the stress he was under as a closet homosexual. I was confused and annoyed but every time I tried to talk back and tell him how wrong he was, he'd instantly reply with something that was even more mean and untrue. He stayed so calm, too... I just couldn't help myself. I felt my face get red and tears come up and it just... It felt like my blood was boiling, like I was just burning up. That guy just...”
I look at her face. She's teary-eyed and clenching her trembling hands into little fists. This troll really played a number on her. I put my hand on her shoulder. It seems appropriate.
“It's okay, Kiett. You got through it, that's what counts. We'll get this son of a bitch. Thanks for your help.”
“Wait,” she says, “there's more. He knew me, he knew who I am. When he saw how much pain I was in, he looked at me and laughed and said my brother would be next. He said my brother was going to pay. That's when he left and I passed out.”
“Your brother? Shit... Do you have any idea where I could find him?”
“He's at the new Dota District, I think... Last time we talked, he mentioned he'd been spending a lot of time there lately to make sure everything went well. He sleeps there sometimes when he works late, in an unused room of the new apartment complex they built there.”
I know that place. Most of the new District is already inhabited, but the apartment complex is still empty while the construction crews put on the finishing touches. Plexa hadn't seen Hot Bid in a couple of days. Maybe he was just really busy there... or maybe I'm already too late. I need to get my ass in gear.
“Okay, Kiett, I'm going there right now, just to be safe. He was probably just bluffing, but you never know. You've been a really big help, thanks again. Hang in there, kid.”
“Bye,” she replies, “please find this guy, and make sure he never comes back.”
“I will.”

As I leave the hospital, my mind is racing. Who the hell is this guy? Some PBU with a personal grudge? He seemed to know Kiett pretty well... Would he know where to find Hot Bid? Was he even being serious, or just trying to freak Kiett out? At any rate, I have to find Hot Bid. We can't risk losing an administrator. Dota District, please don't let me down.


– TO BE CONTINUED –



+ Show Spoiler [Other Parts] +
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5


****
Moderatorfollow me on twitter if u think ur so tough @BooyaCow
Qbek
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
Poland12923 Posts
October 12 2012 16:33 GMT
#2
Is dota district very creepy?

Couldn't help...
Lovin it so far
This space left intentionally dank /)3(\ http://i.imgur.com/RmeEUcF.png
TheKefka
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Croatia11752 Posts
October 12 2012 16:34 GMT
#3
finally featured!
Cackle™
Praetorial
Profile Blog Joined May 2011
United States4241 Posts
October 12 2012 16:50 GMT
#4
Awesome as always CoW, but it needs more waffle jokes.
FOR GREAT JUSTICE! Bans for the ban gods!
marttorn
Profile Blog Joined May 2011
Norway5211 Posts
October 12 2012 17:48 GMT
#5
Gripping until the end.

5/5, would dream of fellating bovine moderator again.
memes are a dish best served dank
ShadeR
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Australia7535 Posts
October 12 2012 17:48 GMT
#6

She's in the burn ward

Spat my food out this was so funny.
solidbebe
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Netherlands4921 Posts
October 12 2012 17:53 GMT
#7
This is getting better and better
That's the 2nd time in a week I've seen someone sig a quote from this GD and I have never witnessed a sig quote happen in my TL history ever before. -Najda
Yello
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Germany7411 Posts
October 12 2012 18:06 GMT
#8
Awesome. Really excited for the next parts!
Just ahead of time, know your addiction's not a crime. It's just a smaller part of who you want to become in the end.
Kiett
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United States7639 Posts
October 12 2012 18:19 GMT
#9
I love you Cow
Writer:o
vGl-CoW
Profile Blog Joined December 2002
Belgium8305 Posts
October 12 2012 18:48 GMT
#10
Thanks for the comments guys, very much appreciated! Sorry for the delay in getting this out, got a little too hooked on PlanetSide 2. It will happen again. I regret nothing.

On October 13 2012 03:19 Kiett wrote:
I love you Cow

[image loading]
Moderatorfollow me on twitter if u think ur so tough @BooyaCow
Jaaaaasper
Profile Blog Joined April 2012
United States10225 Posts
October 12 2012 19:00 GMT
#11
Bout time cow, it was good. But how is this guy going to out troll hot_bid? That is the real question.
Hey do you want to hear a joke? Chinese production value. | I thought he had a aegis- Ayesee | When did 7ing mad last have a good game, 2012?
seanisgrand
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
United States1039 Posts
October 12 2012 19:36 GMT
#12
This was good man. Try to slip some "she had some miles on her, but she had a walk I could feel in my left pocket" type stuff into the next one.

This is well below quality expected of a post in any forum. -Empyrean
HwangjaeTerran
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Finland5967 Posts
October 12 2012 19:39 GMT
#13
dangit!
Made me feel like trolling Kiett, but even I have the decency to restrain myself from that.
Maybe if Bisu comes out of the closet and starts winning again.

Just how cool are those wrist devices? Worth becoming a mod?
https://steamcommunity.com/id/*tlusernamehere*/
RuiBarbO
Profile Blog Joined August 2012
United States1340 Posts
October 12 2012 22:02 GMT
#14
I love this post.
Can someone please explain/how water falls with no rain?
Rick Deckard
Profile Joined October 2010
90 Posts
October 12 2012 22:47 GMT
#15
This series is just what I needed to lift my mood. Thank you.
Shock710
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Australia6097 Posts
October 12 2012 22:52 GMT
#16
LOL too hot for ur own good, in burn ward, after trollling.....ooooh the puns! <3 amazing
MORE MORE MORE!!!
But how is this guy gonna get hotbid....O_o
dAPhREAk gives Shock a * | [23:55] <Shock710> that was out of context -_- [16:26] <@motbob> Good question, Shock!
inn5013orecl
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States227 Posts
October 12 2012 23:12 GMT
#17
i suspect the culprit is zamnal or kiante
i live with a korean who doesnt play sc...wtf
Kiett
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United States7639 Posts
October 12 2012 23:18 GMT
#18
On October 13 2012 08:12 inn5013orecl wrote:
i suspect the culprit is zamnal or kiante

Please, like Kiante could ever make me mad. He is like a puppy. An raging australian puppy, but silly and adorable nevertheless.
Writer:o
inn5013orecl
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States227 Posts
October 12 2012 23:32 GMT
#19
On October 13 2012 08:18 Kiett wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 13 2012 08:12 inn5013orecl wrote:
i suspect the culprit is zamnal or kiante

Please, like Kiante could ever make me mad. He is like a puppy. An raging australian puppy, but silly and adorable nevertheless.


now i suspect kiett's in on it...and the bandages/wounds are fake. CONSPIRACY!! for mongoria!
i live with a korean who doesnt play sc...wtf
Blazinghand *
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States25562 Posts
October 12 2012 23:56 GMT
#20
It's everything I wanted and more :D
When you stare into the iCCup, the iCCup stares back.
TL+ Member
Olex
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States135 Posts
October 13 2012 00:14 GMT
#21
This is stellar stuff. You're a talented writer, Cow. The devil's in the details and the way you work the little bits of our world into the world you've created here is just sinful.

See what I did there?

Love the ESPORTS dollars, love the "be nice, there aren't many here" I LOVE the signage references and the description of the troll.
Bugs in amber
Joedaddy
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
United States1948 Posts
October 13 2012 01:11 GMT
#22
On October 13 2012 03:19 Kiett wrote:
I love you Cow


I didn't know Kiett was a girl...

I might be the minority on TL, but TL is the minority everywhere else.
The_Templar
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
your Country52798 Posts
October 13 2012 01:18 GMT
#23
This is great writing :D
ModeratorI am still alive, somehow
TL+ Member
Ciryandor
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States3735 Posts
October 13 2012 01:44 GMT
#24
This is hilarious and awesome.
에일리 and 아이유 <3 - O Captain 박재혁 ・゚✧*:・*゚+..。✧・゚:*・..。 ✧・゚ :・゚* ゜・*:・ ✧・゚:・゚:.。 ✧・゚ SPARKULING ・゜・:・゚✧*:・゚✧。*゚+..。 ✧・゚: ✧・゚:*・゜・:・゚✧*::
Aerisky
Profile Blog Joined May 2012
United States12129 Posts
October 13 2012 02:34 GMT
#25
YES! Awesome stuff Cow :DDD

Yaaaay, keep making these~ GAINING GROUND AND SUPPORTERS :>
Jim while Johnny had had had had had had had; had had had had the better effect on the teacher.
]343[
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
United States10328 Posts
October 13 2012 04:25 GMT
#26
hehe obviously kiett got burned too hard about how bisu is super n00b kekekeke

cow #1 poster
Writer
Shady Sands
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States4021 Posts
October 13 2012 05:52 GMT
#27
=) Loving this. 5/5
Что?
Sawamura
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Malaysia7602 Posts
October 13 2012 06:52 GMT
#28
can't wait for more tl.noir ^_^
BW/KT Forever R.I.P KT.Violet dearly missed ..
OpticalShot
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Canada6330 Posts
October 13 2012 08:31 GMT
#29
Wow you almost managed an entire blog without the mention of "ass"... then you couldn't resist near the end.
STORY TOO SLOW LETS CATCH THE CULPRIT
[TLMS] REBOOT
Xiberia
Profile Joined September 2007
Sweden634 Posts
October 13 2012 11:22 GMT
#30
#1 blogger
SilSol
Profile Joined April 2012
Sweden2744 Posts
October 13 2012 16:30 GMT
#31
aww nice cow <3<3
http://fragbite.se/user/117868/silsol since 2006 http://www.reddit.com/u/silsol77
herMan
Profile Joined November 2010
Japan2057 Posts
October 13 2012 22:22 GMT
#32
So cool. I want moar!
lilsusie
Profile Blog Joined August 2007
3861 Posts
October 14 2012 08:33 GMT
#33
Oooohhhh I hate waiting!
Follow me on Twitter for pictures of cute gamers and food! https://twitter.com/lilsusie
tnkted
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
United States1359 Posts
October 14 2012 17:56 GMT
#34
I bet he ends up getting roughed up by the TL Mafia!
'I think "tnkted" may have justified this entire thread.' - Mjolnir
Xeofreestyler
Profile Blog Joined June 2005
Belgium6777 Posts
October 14 2012 22:03 GMT
#35
fuck YES
Graphics
Antimatterz
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States1010 Posts
October 15 2012 01:29 GMT
#36
Damn that was pretty good, guess I have to read the others.

5/5
"HotBid [11:45 AM]: i dunno i kinda like the big muta shooting smaller mutas out"
GeorgeyBeats
Profile Joined April 2011
United Kingdom338 Posts
October 15 2012 15:12 GMT
#37
Love these! You are a hero Cow :D
How many bears could bear grylls grill if bear grylls coud grill bears?
Danglars
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States12133 Posts
October 15 2012 18:24 GMT
#38
I'm picturing a very shady Dota 2 district somehow.
Great armies come from happy zealots, and happy zealots come from California!
TL+ Member
Torenhire
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States11681 Posts
October 16 2012 21:22 GMT
#39
Step 1: http://www.rainymood.com/ Click this and leave it open in a tab

Step 2: Play this


Step 3: Start at Part 1 and read all the parts together.

Instant Noir classic, use that imagination for a sultry narrative voice and black and white '40s video.

+ Show Spoiler +
The name's Cow. vgl Cow. I'm a private eye, or at least it says so on my door
SirJolt: Well maybe if you weren't so big and stupid, it wouldn't have hit you.
heha
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Australia425 Posts
October 17 2012 05:10 GMT
#40
HOTBID IS THE TROLL!
Random for life! phoneheha
Rick Deckard
Profile Joined October 2010
90 Posts
October 24 2012 20:04 GMT
#41
Can we have some more please!?
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