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Being myself did not land me a bite of a burger

Blogs > Chairman Ray
Post a Reply
1 2 Next All
Chairman Ray
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
United States11903 Posts
October 04 2012 03:03 GMT
#1
So today I was in the cafeteria on University campus, deciding what to eat. I had forgotten to pack lunch the night before. So I see this girl at a table eating a burger. There was no paper bag or anything, and she only had a napkin, so I assume it's a burger from some student fundraiser bbq.

Inspired by a blog I read on Team Liquid, I decided to approach her and ask her "Hey miss, may I have a bite of your tasty burger?". She blankly stares at me for a few seconds, and then shakes her head. I respond by telling her "No problem, you enjoy your burger, miss", and then I left.

I think I need a new approach.

****
eviltomahawk
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States11135 Posts
October 04 2012 03:06 GMT
#2
I would let you bite my burger if you know what I mean
ㅇㅅㅌㅅ
Chairman Ray
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
United States11903 Posts
October 04 2012 03:07 GMT
#3
On October 04 2012 12:06 eviltomahawk wrote:
I would let you bite my burger if you know what I mean


May I also have a sip of your beverage to wash it all down?
Heh_
Profile Blog Joined April 2012
Singapore2712 Posts
October 04 2012 03:08 GMT
#4
Errrr, not a good idea =/

It sounds like the worst pick-up line I've ever heard.
=Þ
eviltomahawk
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States11135 Posts
October 04 2012 03:09 GMT
#5
On October 04 2012 12:07 Chairman Ray wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 04 2012 12:06 eviltomahawk wrote:
I would let you bite my burger if you know what I mean


May I also have a sip of your beverage to wash it all down?

Most definitely. One does not simply enjoy my burger without also enjoying the refreshing drink that comes along with it.
ㅇㅅㅌㅅ
Gao Xi
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
Hong Kong5178 Posts
October 04 2012 03:19 GMT
#6
Something seems wrong with the quotes :|
龔智禮 _________________________________________________________________________________________________ CJ NATION
blahz0r
Profile Joined December 2010
3030 Posts
October 04 2012 03:23 GMT
#7
“well you seemed to be enjoying it, and I’ve never ate here before so I wanted to know what the food is like”.
Liquipedia
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States45264 Posts
October 04 2012 03:59 GMT
#8
Yeah Fumanchu ( http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?topic_id=372461 ) was a jerk for even trying that.

Surprised you went for it too. I guess you figured she wouldn't beat you up along with probably turning you down?

We should make a list of things that people can try to randomly ask permission to borrow/ try/ use that clearly belong to others (now that Food is out of the way). An easy one would be Napkin... a hard one would be Chapstick.
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
Aerisky
Profile Blog Joined May 2012
United States12129 Posts
October 04 2012 04:08 GMT
#9
rofl these new parody blogs that are coming out >.<

Well then..... hahaha ><
Jim while Johnny had had had had had had had; had had had had the better effect on the teacher.
Everize
Profile Joined September 2010
Poland176 Posts
October 04 2012 04:14 GMT
#10
No wonder girls complain about all the wussies and other things haha, can't believe somebody would even try this, or either think of it as a pick-up line. Just Horrible!!! Pick up lines are terrible, you should more likely go with something of "I think you're cute" of some sort, works a tad better, good luck!
You're going supernova, all of our thoughts become just one. I fly million miles only to crash into the sun.
Zim23
Profile Joined August 2010
United States1681 Posts
October 04 2012 04:43 GMT
#11
If she responded correctly you could have said 'they speak english in what?' just to confuse the shit out of her.
Do an arranged marriage if she's not completely minging, and don't worry about dancing, get a go-kart, cheers.
Peanutbutter717
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States240 Posts
October 04 2012 04:58 GMT
#12
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..... smooth?
Marine -> masters
elmizzt
Profile Joined February 2010
United States3309 Posts
October 04 2012 04:59 GMT
#13
5/5 for timing alone

well played.
d=(^_^)z
Diglett
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
600 Posts
October 04 2012 05:30 GMT
#14
your initial approach was correct but where you went wrong is the " I respond by telling her "No problem, you enjoy your burger, miss", and then I left." part.

at that point you should grab that burger right out of her hands and take a big bite while staring into her eyes. don't blink and don't avert your gaze. then grab her napkin and wipe your mouth and give it back to her all the while staring into her eyes. then walk away.

super alpha, dat's how diglett roll
surfinbird1
Profile Joined September 2009
Germany999 Posts
October 04 2012 08:07 GMT
#15
Haha, had to laugh as soon as I saw the title. I should try this some time.
life of lively to live to life of full life thx to shield battery
Flip9
Profile Joined June 2012
Germany151 Posts
October 04 2012 09:29 GMT
#16
damn how selfish is this, she could at least have you a little bite!
Fyodor
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Canada971 Posts
October 04 2012 11:46 GMT
#17
On October 04 2012 14:30 Diglett wrote:
your initial approach was correct but where you went wrong is the " I respond by telling her "No problem, you enjoy your burger, miss", and then I left." part.

at that point you should grab that burger right out of her hands and take a big bite while staring into her eyes. don't blink and don't avert your gaze. then grab her napkin and wipe your mouth and give it back to her all the while staring into her eyes. then walk away.

super alpha, dat's how diglett roll


card crusher is that you?
llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
Jaaaaasper
Profile Blog Joined April 2012
United States10225 Posts
October 04 2012 15:11 GMT
#18
Well played sir, well played.
Hey do you want to hear a joke? Chinese production value. | I thought he had a aegis- Ayesee | When did 7ing mad last have a good game, 2012?
SilverWolfe
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Canada173 Posts
October 04 2012 15:20 GMT
#19
... is this some kind of joke?

Why would anyone get interested in some guy walking up to them and trying to steal their food? If I was some girl minding my own business in the cafeteria eating lunch and some asshat walked up to me and asked me for my burger, I'd tell him to fuck off. At least the girl was polite enough to just tell you to buzz off.
Terran Master Race: Mvp ByuN TaeJa aLive Maru Ryung SuperNoVa FlaSh Xellos firebathero ForGG BoxeR iloveoov FanTaSy Sea KeeN GanZi GuMiho StC ThorZaIN Happy MMA Marineking Clide TOP Sculp jjakji Virus Polt Goody Fenix Bomber. Zerg Mad, Protoss Jelly.
zalz
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Netherlands3704 Posts
October 04 2012 16:08 GMT
#20
Was it a big kahuna burger? Those are the best.

I never get around to eating them though. My girlfriend is a vegetarian, so that basically means I'm a vegetarian too.
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