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Yay another antisocial thread on TL! My first though. Here I won’t be complaining though (I think), I’ll just write and see. And I want you to judge me. Judge me and bless me with your infinite wisdom! =)
I’m a 23 year old political science student who acts as a “lonewolf” in a university where people seem to form little groups of study which I have no interest in because social settings annoy me. For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been introverted, but recently I started wondering if maybe I’m autistic. I’m not a psychologist obviously, but from reading around, I wouldn’t be surprised if it were the case. As a kid I must have watched “A Land Before Time” over a hundred times, but I digress…
The difficulty for me is that I’m more comfortable around less people, so I don’t really have an interest to change it, I would have to be incredibly fake to appear comfortable in social settings. As a result, I’ve always had a very small number of friends of around 5 people and currently more like 3. I’ve been with my gf for years now and she’s very much unlike me, she goes out and occasionally manages to drag me out, but for the most part we live separate lives together in the same house, if that makes any sense. And as far as I can tell, it works, but that's only because she's not too needy and as such I can't imagine myself with anybody else. I'm such a boring guy, I can't imagine anyone else would put up with this shit (or lack thereof). This may sound cheesy but I think I would be forever alone and severely incapacitated if I were to lose her.
Now this is going to sound strange and perhaps I’ll come off as insecure, and I suppose rightly so. My friend got a new job and within a week he was already going out and having drinks with a girl. It’s so strange to me and I see myself as being incapable of meeting someone intentionally – I met my gf through random 1-in-a-million instance of dumb luck, but I have no game, and I don’t see myself “simulating” a person who has game without feeling heart-wrenching shame for doing it.
Internally though, being antisocial doesn’t bother me, I’m comfortable alone for the most part. Externally, people judge me, and it’s viewed as abnormal for me to spend most of my life on a PC, reading news, scientific papers, forums, and denying invitations to go have a couple of brewskies on a Friday night. I don’t mind too much, but still it’s still occasionally an inconvenience, notably in university, not to have anyone to fall back on for instance when I have to miss class.
Maybe I shouldn't post this, why would I write personal stuff on TL  . Oh well off you go.
 
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I don't think you have autism. Your girlfriend would tell you if you did lol.... Autism is really debilitating, it sounds like you just have a preference to be alone. On that note, you probably chose the wrong major if you wanna be secluded...
The other half of this is that maybe certain social activities, like study groups and brewskies, specifically don't interest you. If you wanted to meet new people, maybe you need to find people who like doing things you do. But as far as not having very many friends... I think that's quite common. If you shy away in school it becomes difficult to meet new people, and you probably remember having more friends in high school when interaction was more forced. But like I said, if you feel left out or something you just need to join a club related to one of your interests.
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I know a guy who's been diagnosed with aspergers and he comes off as reasonably normal but is essentially antisocial like myself.
As for my field of study, I'm in political science by interest and currently working on my MA. I don't need it to make a living off of it though, so that works out for me.
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On September 15 2012 23:53 Djzapz wrote:
I know a guy who's been diagnosed with aspergers and he comes off as reasonably normal but is essentially antisocial like myself.
As for my field of study, I'm in political science by interest and currently working on my MA. I don't need it to make a living off of it though, so that works out for me.
The diagnoses could be wrong though, I'm not saying it is. It's just that sometimes these diagnoses can be given out rather easily. Again, not saying that is the case, just something to keep in mind.
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On September 15 2012 23:48 Chef wrote:
I don't think you have autism. Your girlfriend would tell you if you did lol.... Autism is really debilitating, it sounds like you just have a preference to be alone. On that note, you probably chose the wrong major if you wanna be secluded...
The other half of this is that maybe certain social activities, like study groups and brewskies, specifically don't interest you. If you wanted to meet new people, maybe you need to find people who like doing things you do. But as far as not having very many friends... I think that's quite common. If you shy away in school it becomes difficult to meet new people, and you probably remember having more friends in high school when interaction was more forced. But like I said, if you feel left out or something you just need to join a club related to one of your interests.
Autism is a scale, not a disease that you do or don't have. It's highly probable you're somewhat more autistic that most, but it really doesn't matter. I tick a lot of the boxes like you, it doesn't make me feel bad about myself. So long as your friends accept who you are, and you are happy with where you are, you'll be happy, and nothing else matters  .
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I approve of this blog. If it truly, honestly does not bother you then why change? Changing who you are for the sole reason of appealing to other people seems like a terrible idea IMHO. Be yourself and be comfortable with yourself. Live the way that makes you happy.
On September 15 2012 23:59 solidbebe wrote:Show nested quote +On September 15 2012 23:53 Djzapz wrote:
I know a guy who's been diagnosed with aspergers and he comes off as reasonably normal but is essentially antisocial like myself.
As for my field of study, I'm in political science by interest and currently working on my MA. I don't need it to make a living off of it though, so that works out for me. The diagnoses could be wrong though, I'm not saying it is. It's just that sometimes these diagnoses can be given out rather easily. Again, not saying that is the case, just something to keep in mind.
On a semi-related note I find it rather silly and amusing how many of us here (including myself) can probably read up on the symptoms and manifestations of certain mental affections (like aspergers, autism and this sort of things) and identify with just about enough of them that it starts becoming plausible to self-diagnose yourself. Maybe you disagree but I know this is the case with me as well as some others that I know :/
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Keep in mind that Asperger's syndrome is an invented psychiatric condition with no basis in science. It's a checklist of traits, and something like half the population can identify with half of them to some degree. Diagnosis is not based on objective criteria, but subjective evaluations. So don't worry much about psychiatric labels.
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I'm a lot like you. I have basically no friends, no girlfriend, and I spend most of my life on the Internet, reading, studying, or playing video games. Relatives will say that I'm exactly like my dad, except that my dad was and is a brilliant student who is now the head of an IT company. My dad was also really shy, quiet, and a loner like me, but his grades and his passion for studying made him successful. The way I see it, I might have been as smart and successful as my father, but I turned out to be a lazy bum who believed that I should get things handed to me in my life because of who my dad was. Big mistake. I'm still quiet to the point that people might think I'm abnormal, but I try to be more outgoing especially by having a sense of humor. I find that helps in a lot of situations. People will stop thinking how awkward you are if you stop giving them the impression that you're worried about coming across as awkward. That I believe is the true source of confidence, saying to yourself that I might be different but I don't really care, so why should anyone else? On the other hand I've noticed that if someone really likes you, they will like all of you, shyness and awkwardness and personality quirks and all. These qualities may even draw some people to you, because they might think you're different and interesting...in a good, intriguing, unique kind of way.
There's always 2 sides of a coin. If you can't change something, then make it work for you, not against you.
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Well people that I come across tend to like me, I just don't bother meeting people if I don't need to. Not that I'd really know how to approach someone without a specific reason.
And boo at the 1stars .
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Aspergers ITT, but if you live a happy life why try to change and conform?
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If you have autism, you'll know. The issue with disorders on the autism spectrum isn't so much that you are antisocial, rather, that you act like a, well, autistic person when you are social.
Quite a few autistic people that I know are extremely social due to the Dunning-Kruger effect. Of course, that just means they embarass themselves constantly.
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On September 16 2012 02:04 insaneMicro wrote:
Aspergers ITT, but if you live a happy life why try to change and conform?
Well I'm not looking to change my personality at all, but it's still kind of annoying because sometimes I would like to actually get to know more people. Makes me cringe to say it like that though, but meh, to hell with what people think!
A couple of years ago a close friend of mine died in a car crash and there were 200 people at his funeral, most of whom were friends of his. There weren't enough chairs for everyone in the church so people in the back were standing. If I died now, I figure I'll have 50 people, 40 family members and 10 friends. And I figure some of my family will probably find excuses not to show up like I do to avoid the birthdays I don't care about.
On September 16 2012 02:13 AnachronisticAnarchy wrote:
If you have autism, you'll know. The issue with disorders on the autism spectrum isn't so much that you are antisocial, rather, that you act like a, well, autistic person when you are social.
Quite a few autistic people that I know are extremely social due to the Dunning-Kruger effect. Of course, that just means they embarass themselves constantly.
I don't know how autistic people act when they are social. As for the Dunning-Kruger thing, I'm not one to gloat very much in real life.
I guess I've never been able to find people with interests that are like mine though, there are no hardcore nerds around here like myself. I'm a gamer and an academic. My friends tend to be halfway nerds who are either part-gamer or part-intellectuals, but they usually also have this side of them that drive to do shit, which I kind of don't have. So they have stories to tell and lead interesting lives. The interesting shit in my life all happened when I was from 14 to 19 maybe. Trip to the French alps and whatnot.
A few nights ago I went to a bar with a few friends, and they talk about sports and their sexual encounters and all kinds of shit, we ended up being 10 guys around a few tables and there were a bunch of drunken insipid conversations going around. And I just don't have anything to say, and I don't relate. Can't bring up gaming or politics (except very basic politics) in a bar either. Going out with the high school friends is easier because it always ends up being about the good ole' days and it seems like they're all pretty serious people in life... anyways.
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I happen to know an Autistic person whom I practically consider to be family. He's what I would call a social person despite the fact that he is markedly different from most people. Not once has this man's life has Autism kept him from travelling the world or studying whatever he wanted to. Granted, there have been some questionable decisions that he made, such as studying to be a pastry chef despite an allergy to wheat flour, but we love him nonetheless. You should never be trying to diagnose yourself with something like autism; some things are best left to doctors. Being a loner does not make you autistic and vice versa.
If socializing on what you would consider to be an uncomfortable level is counter-intuitive for you I also wonder how you chose to study in the field of political science. Any career in this field requires a greater understanding of the 'human condition' than is possible for a recluse; a great deal of ass-kissing, fake smiling, hand-shaking and fund-raising (ie: real-life social networking) is to be expected. What I feel is that your instincts are coming to a realization before your brain is, or maybe you'd rather be given drugs that fuck with your natural chemistry.
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On September 15 2012 23:41 Djzapz wrote:Yay another antisocial thread on TL! My first though. Here I won’t be complaining though (I think), I’ll just write and see. And I want you to judge me. Judge me and bless me with your infinite wisdom! =) I’m a 23 year old political science student who acts as a “lonewolf” in a university where people seem to form little groups of study which I have no interest in because social settings annoy me. For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been introverted, but recently I started wondering if maybe I’m autistic. I’m not a psychologist obviously, but from reading around, I wouldn’t be surprised if it were the case. As a kid I must have watched “A Land Before Time” over a hundred times, but I digress… The difficulty for me is that I’m more comfortable around less people, so I don’t really have an interest to change it, I would have to be incredibly fake to appear comfortable in social settings. As a result, I’ve always had a very small number of friends of around 5 people and currently more like 3. I’ve been with my gf for years now and she’s very much unlike me, she goes out and occasionally manages to drag me out, but for the most part we live separate lives together in the same house, if that makes any sense. And as far as I can tell, it works, but that's only because she's not too needy and as such I can't imagine myself with anybody else. I'm such a boring guy, I can't imagine anyone else would put up with this shit (or lack thereof). This may sound cheesy but I think I would be forever alone and severely incapacitated if I were to lose her. Now this is going to sound strange and perhaps I’ll come off as insecure, and I suppose rightly so. My friend got a new job and within a week he was already going out and having drinks with a girl. It’s so strange to me and I see myself as being incapable of meeting someone intentionally – I met my gf through random 1-in-a-million instance of dumb luck, but I have no game, and I don’t see myself “simulating” a person who has game without feeling heart-wrenching shame for doing it. Internally though, being antisocial doesn’t bother me, I’m comfortable alone for the most part. Externally, people judge me, and it’s viewed as abnormal for me to spend most of my life on a PC, reading news, scientific papers, forums, and denying invitations to go have a couple of brewskies on a Friday night. I don’t mind too much, but still it’s still occasionally an inconvenience, notably in university, not to have anyone to fall back on for instance when I have to miss class. Maybe I shouldn't post this, why would I write personal stuff on TL . Oh well off you go.
I think your girlfriend might appreciate it if you go out more. If you love her enough you would do activities with her that you dont like and vice versa right?
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On September 16 2012 03:33 dUTtrOACh wrote:
I happen to know an Autistic person whom I practically consider to be family. He's what I would call a social person despite the fact that he is markedly different from most people. Not once has this man's life has Autism kept him from travelling the world or studying whatever he wanted to. Granted, there have been some questionable decisions that he made, such as studying to be a pastry chef despite an allergy to wheat flour, but we love him nonetheless. You should never be trying to diagnose yourself with something like autism; some things are best left to doctors. Being a loner does not make you autistic and vice versa.
If socializing on what you would consider to be an uncomfortable level is counter-intuitive for you I also wonder how you chose to study in the field of political science. Any career in this field requires a greater understanding of the 'human condition' than is possible for a recluse; a great deal of ass-kissing, fake smiling, hand-shaking and fund-raising (ie: real-life social networking) is to be expected. What I feel is that your instincts are coming to a realization before your brain is, or maybe you'd rather be given drugs that fuck with your natural chemistry.
I've faked my way through an IT job for a couple of months before, it's not a problem. But like I said before, my field of study has little to do with a career choice. I'm good in that department.
On September 16 2012 03:36 StateofReverie wrote:Show nested quote +On September 15 2012 23:41 Djzapz wrote:Yay another antisocial thread on TL! My first though. Here I won’t be complaining though (I think), I’ll just write and see. And I want you to judge me. Judge me and bless me with your infinite wisdom! =) I’m a 23 year old political science student who acts as a “lonewolf” in a university where people seem to form little groups of study which I have no interest in because social settings annoy me. For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been introverted, but recently I started wondering if maybe I’m autistic. I’m not a psychologist obviously, but from reading around, I wouldn’t be surprised if it were the case. As a kid I must have watched “A Land Before Time” over a hundred times, but I digress… The difficulty for me is that I’m more comfortable around less people, so I don’t really have an interest to change it, I would have to be incredibly fake to appear comfortable in social settings. As a result, I’ve always had a very small number of friends of around 5 people and currently more like 3. I’ve been with my gf for years now and she’s very much unlike me, she goes out and occasionally manages to drag me out, but for the most part we live separate lives together in the same house, if that makes any sense. And as far as I can tell, it works, but that's only because she's not too needy and as such I can't imagine myself with anybody else. I'm such a boring guy, I can't imagine anyone else would put up with this shit (or lack thereof). This may sound cheesy but I think I would be forever alone and severely incapacitated if I were to lose her. Now this is going to sound strange and perhaps I’ll come off as insecure, and I suppose rightly so. My friend got a new job and within a week he was already going out and having drinks with a girl. It’s so strange to me and I see myself as being incapable of meeting someone intentionally – I met my gf through random 1-in-a-million instance of dumb luck, but I have no game, and I don’t see myself “simulating” a person who has game without feeling heart-wrenching shame for doing it. Internally though, being antisocial doesn’t bother me, I’m comfortable alone for the most part. Externally, people judge me, and it’s viewed as abnormal for me to spend most of my life on a PC, reading news, scientific papers, forums, and denying invitations to go have a couple of brewskies on a Friday night. I don’t mind too much, but still it’s still occasionally an inconvenience, notably in university, not to have anyone to fall back on for instance when I have to miss class. Maybe I shouldn't post this, why would I write personal stuff on TL . Oh well off you go. I think your girlfriend might appreciate it if you go out more. If you love her enough you would do activities with her that you dont like and vice versa right?
Well she appreciates it when I do stuff that I typically don't like. She carried me to clubs and parties a few times, but for the most part when we go out it's just the both of us. Restaurants, movies and such.
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On September 15 2012 23:53 Djzapz wrote:
I know a guy who's been diagnosed with aspergers and he comes off as reasonably normal but is essentially antisocial like myself.
As for my field of study, I'm in political science by interest and currently working on my MA. I don't need it to make a living off of it though, so that works out for me.
Don't even pretend to be autistic until you see a proffesional. It's incredibly easy to read up about it on the internet and identify with some of the characteristics, but self-diagnoses are incredibly unreliable, especially in the psychological field. I know someone at my school who has asperger's, and you can tell. I know he's just one of many people with high functioning autism, but he isn't necessarily introverted, just socially retarded. He doesn't dress right, he stutters, he tells you things you don't want to know about (and he can't take cues like slowly walking away, changing subject), and is just generally awkward. I'm not saying he's representative off all aspies, and maybe this description fits you to a T, but I doubt it. Being introverted does not make you autistc.
Source: Friend at school and I went through this phase about a year ago until I realized that I was blaming my social shortcomings on something to make me feel OK about them. #1 way to fix it is to force yourself to go out, get a job or volunteering position thats forces you to interact with others, be confident, and dress for success.
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So you've got enough money that you can study whatever you want without worrying about working, you've got a gf who loves and accepts you, and you're young and in good physical health?
gl hf
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On September 16 2012 05:15 Chocolate wrote:Show nested quote +On September 15 2012 23:53 Djzapz wrote:
I know a guy who's been diagnosed with aspergers and he comes off as reasonably normal but is essentially antisocial like myself.
As for my field of study, I'm in political science by interest and currently working on my MA. I don't need it to make a living off of it though, so that works out for me. Don't even pretend to be autistic until you see a proffesional. It's incredibly easy to read up about it on the internet and identify with some of the characteristics, but self-diagnoses are incredibly unreliable, especially in the psychological field. I know someone at my school who has asperger's, and you can tell. I know he's just one of many people with high functioning autism, but he isn't necessarily introverted, just socially retarded. He doesn't dress right, he stutters, he tells you things you don't want to know about (and he can't take cues like slowly walking away, changing subject), and is just generally awkward. I'm not saying he's representative off all aspies, and maybe this description fits you to a T, but I doubt it. Being introverted does not make you autistc. Source: Friend at school and I went through this phase about a year ago until I realized that I was blaming my social shortcomings on something to make me feel OK about them. #1 way to fix it is to force yourself to go out, get a job or volunteering position thats forces you to interact with others, be confident, and dress for success.
Fair enough!
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you justsound like an introvert. As soon as I read the word friend, thats a big teller that you aren't asperbergers. If you are just a loner and have a few friends thats not a serious issue, its just a life choice with what you are ok with .
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I am not autistic, but I experience several symptoms of autism. I attend groups with people who have ADHD, Aspergers, etc. because of this, mostly for myself but somewhat because it makes autistic people feel more normal.
I sound a lot like you, especially since I was a super-hyper Pokemon fan for a good 4 or 5 years. Although I have the antisocial thing more than you do. I basically have no friends at my school because at least 75-80% of the people there are, to be polite, people that I *really* disagree with in mentality. I only have one or two friends there and a couple other friends who go to a different school.
Oh, and I've been obsessed with SC2 since it came out. I probably forgot that because I'm surrounded by people who are also obsessed when I'm on TL. Ironic isn't it?
Although one difference I can easily tell between you and me is that you're fine with your decision not to have many friends, whereas I sometimes question myself. This is especially because I am a huge fan of Earthbound and PMD2, and I am a brony. All of these stories (although MLP doesn't really have a story, LOL) emphasize friendship, which I completely agree with. Although I prefer to have one or two very close friends, even though my friends aren't really that close...
All that added on to the fact that I'm not really interested in having a gf (I'm disgusted by mankind's perverted interests) makes me a hypocrite. :/
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EPT
