I have goosebumps right now. that was probably the most beautiful post i have ever read on any website. I don't even know what to say, besides that i hope that you can a new passion in life that you want to follow as much as Starcraft. Or that this will reignite your passion for the game. it is never too late. Anyway, I wish you the best of luck in life, and i would really recommend looking into writing a book or something, because this was an astonishing piece of writing.

OhSix

United States252 Posts

August 23 2012 21:08 GMT

#143

On August 24 2012 04:14 Nikoras wrote:
Hey man I know how that feels. I lost my job this week and seriously thought about ending it all. I even prepared everything.

The one thing that's keeping me alive was thinking about last year at MLG Providence when I walked out of the booth and the crowd was cheering for me...Honestly, enthusiastically, cheering. Not because it was the polite thing to do or because it was expected of them, but I showed them something they liked and I got to live the dream for one sweet instant. I think everyone dreams about a moment like that or some level or another, but I was able to experience that for a moment and if not for SC2 I'm sure I'd be 6 ft deep right now.

Glad you're still here with us. (: I remember that moment of yours at Providence too. It was rad, thanks for that.

Radiated11

United States32 Posts

August 23 2012 21:09 GMT

#144

This is an insanely great blog and it really made me think about my own dreams and my own life. Thanks for writing this. I hope everyone can take something useful from it.

NiKoJa

26 Posts

August 23 2012 21:09 GMT

#145

Oha dude, this got very deep into me. I kinda feel like the same way right now, im 16yo and i haven't even talked to a girl face to face, i have very few friends, i barely ever see my parents and i sit here all day playing Starcraft. I feel like i'm wasting my life in some ways, but at the same time i don't like anything else, i don't like studying, i don't like partying and so on... I get sad some days when i go to bed after 16h of playing, with my eyes fucked, and thinking: what am i doing with my life? But then again, i feel like this is the only think i like to do.

Really well written and sad story sir, best wishes.

Aphasie

Norway474 Posts

August 23 2012 21:16 GMT

#146

Amazing blogs as always Pub!

I know exactly how you feel. I did the same fucking thing. Remember sitting day after day, night after night on the NC, NT, Namoo, Nexus channels on US West and practiced my ass off. Its one of the few times in my now 25 year long life I REALLY applied myself and tried to be the best. But being bound by the evil spell that is the Macintosh, I was unable to bind ctrl to my mouse and felt like a was playing with a disadvantage. Couple that with no one to continually train with and being mechanically mediocre (physically) I never made it. I was shattered when I realized those korean people i played against will always be better than me. (or maybe I just lost my faith?)....

Fast forward 2 years, the second curse of the Mac. Everyone migrates to PGTour from WGTour. Whoop-di-fucking-doo. I cant install the launcher and there were no one left to play with. After my half forced retirement I think Ive caught atleast 80% of all televised games from 2004-9

qwaykee

Norway268 Posts

August 23 2012 21:24 GMT

#147

I know

Mr Showtime

United States1353 Posts

August 23 2012 21:29 GMT

#148

Wow. This is an amazing piece of writing and it hits home HARD.

Thank you.

and thank you to motbob for posting it on r/starcraft, or else I may never have found this.

Aerisky

United States12129 Posts

August 23 2012 21:42 GMT

#149

Wow....what a fantastic read. I can really feel the wistfulness :/

You write really well and your emotions really hurt. Not sure where to go from here, but...well I guess I hope you find your heart again, and discover more hopes and dreams.

CyKLanD

Germany22 Posts

August 23 2012 21:47 GMT

#150

Amazing, just amazing.

Diplomat

United States45 Posts

August 23 2012 22:11 GMT

#151

Fantastic piece, I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Thank you very much for sharing it.

rea1ity

United Kingdom385 Posts

August 23 2012 22:18 GMT

#152

Just in case you do ever try to reignite your dream, I would support you....

MavivaM

1535 Posts

August 23 2012 22:44 GMT

#153

No one EVER knows it my friend... no fucking one.

Sc2ggRise

United States607 Posts

August 23 2012 22:47 GMT

#154

It's never too late to do what you love.

xHadoken

United States171 Posts

August 23 2012 23:05 GMT

#155

This was amazing.

Brandish

United States339 Posts

August 23 2012 23:06 GMT

#156

so where are you now? graduated college? do you have a job? maybe your dream isnt so far off!

renkin

France249 Posts

August 23 2012 23:09 GMT

#157

Thanks for sharing but I think you're too hard on yourself.

Every kid has a dream that fades away at some point.
Starcraft may have not given you a public cheering in a starleague final, but you still gained a lot of things chasing that dream and sadly, that's not the case for everyone. You learned to be social, a skill that will be usefull all your life. I wouldn't expect someone to be good at SC2 to turn like this !

You are crying the old you, this boy who got a life thanks to starcraft. Out of respect for you and what this game gave you, keep playing and keep staying in this community.

However, if after some soul searching this dream of you doesn't fade away, you know what you have to do.

iiGreetings

Canada563 Posts

August 23 2012 23:11 GMT

#158

This just blew me away read it a few times. The nostalgia is hitting you hard, had a minor form with my good ole cod4 and mohaa days... Well written dude this really hit me home.