The death of a dream is a hard thing to deal with.

Don't regret the things you've done. Look at all the things you've accomplished in the name of reaching for your dream. If you can find something else that at least feels worthwhile to pursue, you know how to do it. And trust me, having friends and some level of normalcy to your life is a good thing.

I'm 24 myself, and I've had to look at my life and watch my own dream disappear as well. I feel like I've come to terms with it, and I've found something that, while not as fulfilling as following my dream could have been, is at least acceptable. I don't think so much about my dream any more. Sure, I remember it, and I'd still give almost everything up for a chance to follow that dream, but I don't dwell on it. I take satisfaction where I can, and think to myself "at least I've found something I don't hate."

Whatever you do in life, remember how much you succeeded, and how good it felt to succeed in those things.

solidbebe

Netherlands4921 Posts

August 23 2012 09:01 GMT

#23

Wow that was something, was not expecting such a heavy story. You are a good writer, usually I lose interest in really long posts but I read this straight all the way through.

5/5

Shkudde

Netherlands709 Posts

August 23 2012 09:07 GMT

#24

Broke my heart and made me smile...
Thank you for taking the time to write this down.

5/5

Carnivorous Sheep

Baa?21244 Posts

August 23 2012 09:08 GMT

#25

Thanks, I always enjoy reading your stuff pubba <3

seenster

Germany385 Posts

August 23 2012 09:15 GMT

#26

Everything you did in your past will allways be a part of you. You can't just say you abandoned it. It is still in your mind. It has helped you through a rough patch in your life (i hope that's grammaticaly correct). It's still some kind of dream.
So even when you think about it once in a while you shouldn't feel sad or sorry about yourself. Keep it in your mind to guide yourself and, hopefully, someday your family through your life.

Very good read. One of the few blogs i read. Keep it going young sir!

y0su

Finland7871 Posts

August 23 2012 09:28 GMT

#27

You always need goals... Something to work for, change for, improve for... live for. Awesome write up. I was similarly without a goal in my mid 20s. I worked some dead end jobs, and even found one I could make a career out of. But it wasn't until I found a real GOAL that my life got meaning. Now I'm back in school and working towards my goal (and small goals along the way). I wish you the best and if you want you can always PM :D

Incze

Romania2058 Posts

August 23 2012 09:30 GMT

#28

Now this was a 5/5 blog. If only there were more like this one.
I hope that you will find happiness again,a passion and a goal to work towards.

inn5013orecl

United States227 Posts

August 23 2012 10:02 GMT

#29

Sad story, slice of life, excellent read.

Definitely a bit of your story in all of us. I want to write more but your blog had a profound effect and the words just aren't coming out. Thanks for the read.

Leargle

United States173 Posts

August 23 2012 10:15 GMT

#30

It's easy to lose sight of a dream. I've done that once or twice.

Thank you. This helps so much.

OminouS

Sweden1343 Posts

August 23 2012 10:30 GMT

#31

I know why you are crying. =/

Ambre

France416 Posts

August 23 2012 11:05 GMT

#32

Thx for writting this.

JieXian

Malaysia4677 Posts

August 23 2012 11:08 GMT

#33

wow great story, great writing, took me on a journey

NeWeNiyaLord

Norway2474 Posts

August 23 2012 11:14 GMT

#34

Song really fits :'(

Ketch

Netherlands7285 Posts

August 23 2012 11:16 GMT

#35

Heh, was just thinking of another song. You could say No One Knows, but here at Team Liquid:

I am actually wondering for how many people Team Liquid is a separate life that they share with no-one IRL.

bgx

Poland6595 Posts

August 23 2012 11:25 GMT

#36

Dream about something whole your life but never say it, and wait until it die some day.

Your story reminds me of my own, some parts were different but the ideas, and reasons were practically identical(i believe).

For me being unrecognized, belittled resulted in seeking proportionally big challenge and reward elsewhere, so my new being itself would become a "middle finger" to the people of the past. Was it really because of the people of from the past? It was mix of many things, but i know for sure there was and still is an image of me, i want to meet, otherwise i will never be happy in my life. And no amount of self-acceptance and rational psychology will ever cure me from it, because it will mean for me deep down, that i surrendered.

Deleuze

United Kingdom2102 Posts

August 23 2012 11:49 GMT

#37

Thanks you for writing this, I still have a dream. Thank you for reminding me.

bubblegumbo

Taiwan1296 Posts

August 23 2012 11:53 GMT

#38

There are hundreds, if not thousands of people here in TL that had similar dreams and passion as you for esport and SC, dreams of dedicating their lives to the competitive scene in some way. Sadly real life and other factors that cannot be overcome by sheer determination and hardwork prevent these dreams from coming true(as in Violet's case), but in the end, you are not alone. Take strength from that. We know and understand you.

Arkqn

France589 Posts

August 23 2012 11:54 GMT

#39

Excellent blog...

SpiritAshura

United States1271 Posts

August 23 2012 11:58 GMT

#40

You aren't alone, despite others not speaking up. Your story echos throughout TL I have a feeling (changing slight details here and there of course).

Great blog man, brought me back to my high school years and how sc/wc3 got me through. 5/5