|
On August 23 2012 08:12 docvoc wrote:Show nested quote +On August 23 2012 08:05 MisterD wrote:
you put value into a 15 year old girl saying you might be "the one" for her? oO You expect a 15 year old girl to have a stable, funded opinion about something? what is wrong with you? :D (same goes for trusting your own opinions btw, see below)
also, close to 20's is NOT "similar" age to 15 and probably not to 17 either, so much changes in that short time at that young age..
but .. quit justifying with "not masturbating is unhealthy" x) your explanation sounds like you feel the need to go at it at least every second day or you would die, that's definitely not required to be healthy. And keep in mind that you don't know how you would actually feel if she would do it too, unless she actually does it. You may think you are fine with it, but it might as well be that you feel your "manliness" attacked by it since you are obviously not providing enough or some crap, so don't judge based on what you want yourself to feel if it were so. It is unhealthy, idk if you have gone a month without it, but you tend to get semen build up. its not healthy and it hurts a lot, along with the fact that it makes hormones go off the charts lol. Also I am confused by the other part of your statement.
ever heard of anybody having his balls explode due to semen build-up? No? That's because it's bullshit 
Read up on Nofap (just google the term if you don't know what it is). There certainly have been people who haven't done anything for even a year at a time or longer still (admittedly they might be rare, but probably not as rare as you thin, there are lots of people in the world). the body has ways to get rid of that stuff on it's own. Don't buy into some guys advocating that it's not true just because they feel the need to have a medical excuse to beat off ever other day. Depending on how long it takes for you to feel pain, you actually should maybe visit a physician.
|
Zurich15357 Posts
Finally something along the lines of a proper girl blog. Has the right amount of subtle bragging (or not so subtle), complete misreading and misrepresenting of real life situations, and finally, the author is a teenager.
Bravo, we need more of this shit and not the boring how can I possibly attract that one cute girl in class that has never looked at me ever type.
|
On August 23 2012 08:49 zatic wrote:
Finally something along the lines of a proper girl blog. Has the right amount of subtle bragging (or not so subtle), complete misreading and misrepresenting of real life situations, and finally, the author is a teenager.
Bravo, we need more of this shit and not the boring how can I possibly attract that one cute girl in class that has never looked at me ever type.
we're still waiting on your take zatic.. 
|
On August 23 2012 08:49 zatic wrote:
Finally something along the lines of a proper girl blog. Has the right amount of subtle bragging (or not so subtle), complete misreading and misrepresenting of real life situations, and finally, the author is a teenager.
Bravo, we need more of this shit and not the boring how can I possibly attract that one cute girl in class that has never looked at me ever type.
<3 I live to please. Trust me, there will be plenty more, my gf and I have a stable relationship, so every once in a while there is a squabble that happens, this one happen to be pretty large but I can assure you more these will come, the more time I get the more I write these blogs on TL  . Also yes, my subtle bragging is amazing .
|
On August 23 2012 07:31 docvoc wrote:Lets be clear about a few things here. - Masturbating is not a bad thing, and is healthy
- Masturbating is something I have been doing since about two years ago
- Masturbating is something my girlfriend did not seem to have any issues with
- I do not blame my debate coach for any of this
- about 50% of females masturrbate compared to about 90% of males
- about 50% of females are ok with their partner watching porn, compared to males being once again near 90%
- My girlfriend thought about dumping me over this
Now back to the story! [
ya i gave up after reading that
you have much to learn young one. much to learn ^^
|
Calgary25989 Posts
This has nothing to do with her.
|
She, as a girl doesn't have to masturbate, therefore if she gets little out of it, why should she expect a guy to. (note, this may seem stupid, but if you have never experienced an orgasm that you gave to yourself, but rather one given to you by another person, this is more understandable.)
Girls or women are just as sexual as men. It's not socially accepted that they are but they get wet just as often as you get a boner during the day (or night). If a woman can't or doesn't want to embrace her sexuality, well, she shouldn't get a partner. I'm pretty damn sure she has some kind of personal issue (she is valueing the opinion of that random coach over yours or hers. Something is wrong there.) - This issue isn't about masturbation. My personal guess is she's insecure (hell, she's young) and isn't sure whether you're really into her or not.
She has guy friends who say they don't masturbate or watch porn (most of the guys on this site will recognize this line as complete and utter Bullshit, but she takes it as a fact. For her, there is no reason to think they are lying.)
I'm looking at other girls with lustful eyes. It doesn't matter that they are unattainable, or that I would never leave her for them, the idea is that she is not my muse compared to them. Its like I'm cheating.
Let's reframe that issue. What she is saying here is that she is afraid of losing you. Not more, not less. She is unsure of whether you would be with her if a prettier/smarter/sexier girl would come along. Your job is to give her emotional assurance here, not a logical argument.
PS: Tell her that every guy who tells her that crap wants to fuck her. Also he wants to marry her and have children with her, afterwards she can freely cut his balls off.
She frankly dislikes that I do masturbate, and about 50% of girls are on her side here, she thought it was like a once a month thing, but now that she realizes that it is more like 1-2 times a week or maybe 1-2 times a month, she likes it much less.
See above. This is about being unsure of the relationship itself, it's an issue of stability.
She frankly does not like the fact that I watch porn, she thought it was a joke, but realizing I do is kind of a rude awakening, about 50% of girls agree with her on this also.
Fuck those 50% you keep mentioning. Neither of you have lots of experience with the other gender. I will tell you what's highly likely to happen after the next part, which is a key chain of thought of yours:
I'm willing to give up porn, but if I have to do that, then my girlfriend has to take a larger, more sexualized role in my life (this one is not really an argument, but everything is an action reaction, you can't just leave a vacuum and just say, GO FILL IT!)
Dingding. First, this sounds as if you're not having a lot of sex (or low quality sex). This goes back to her being young and unsure of the entire issue. For some reason she is getting less pleasure out of sex compared to you. Otherwise she would want more of it. If you haven't talked about this, you should do that. Good communication is the basis for good sex and also the basis for a stable relationship.
Let's assume you'll promise to "give up masturbating to porn". What will happen is that sooner or later you will do it in secrecy. You will keep looking at other women. When your girl wants you to get a new haircut, you'll get that one, too. Later down the road you'll end up sexually frustrated and visit prostitutes on a regular basis. Once she finds out, she will cheat with your debate coach (who wants to fuck her btw) and get pregnant from him. hf raising his kid. (jk, =P)
Back to the real issue (once again, this isn't about masturbation at all):
You didn't tell your girlfriend that you did badly in that debate class. First, she took that as a trust issue. You tried to hide something from her. Then your "debate coach" walks in and takes a dump on that first insecurity: He calls you a lieing, cheating bastard. There is no legitimate reason to bring jerking off to porn into the equation besides badmouthing you and looking good to your gf. Maybe he's envious of you, maybe he's into her. No one knows.
What she wants from you is security and trust. She wants to get some kind of emotional security that even if you DO look at other girls, she's the one you want to come back to day after day after day.
Or, to quote Kundera: "There are lots of women a man wants to sleep with, but only one he wants to fall asleep with.", try throwing that one at her because it's true for most men I know.
Some questions to understand the situation better:
-How's your sexlife? How often, how good does it feel for you, how good do you think it feels for her?
-What's your relationship with that coach? Any specific good/bad blood going around there?
-Same question about your gf. What's her relation with that coach? Or rather: What's his relationship with her?
-Wait what. BIG ONE. WHY DO HER PARENTS KNOW WHEN OR HOW OFTEN YOU TWO HAVE SEX WTF?
I feel like I'm slapping you around with a hammer so I'd love to add some cool and lovely nice last sentence. I'm out of them today tho, sorry. =/
But, yeah. Overall it sounds as if you're 35, she's 30 and you're about to plan a family and just bought a house on credit. Logic doesn't work in relationships. Relationships aren't about what others think, they aren't about how many people are for what. You won't find a right or wrong like in your debate classes. Less brain, more feelings.
I understand that you're even asking us "what we think about this issue" and not about any advice (hi debateclass), but here's one: You're young. Take that shit more lightly. It's gonna get rough all by itself soon enough.
|
Norway28722 Posts
tell her that you will not masturbate if she is willing to get you off instead. obviously this means that as long as you're long distance, you'll masturbate.
further, tell her that you'll stop watching porn (of other girls) if she makes you porn of herself.
i she's willing to comply, then you should stop masturbating and stop watching porn of other girls. otherwise, don't stop masturbating, don't stop watching porn, and let her make the next move.
Being in a relationship can be great. But one of the benefits is actually supposed to be sexual in nature. A relationship where you're not having sex and where you're not masturbating, is actually sexually inferior to being single and masturbating. Also, it sounds like she had a momentary lapse of reason, which is okay, as long as it's momentary.
|
OOohhh I got the solution:
tell her that after much hard thinking you have decided to quit masturbating and watching porn (because u luv her so much obv). and then proceed to masturbate fast and furious in secret.
|
tl;dr girl gets mad at boy for masturbating
short answer: dump her ass.
long answer: I think you should leave her for someone who isn't mentally retarded
it's so absurdly silly I can't even fathom the notion of someone being so so so uptight.
OP if this is too personal, don't answer, but how many times a week would you say you two enjoy sexy times? on average.
/e don't listen to the psudeoscience shit about increased testosterone serum levels that gets thrown around on various internet channels. they are what they are, psudeoscience. FAKE SCIENCE IS NOT SCIENCE.
|
On August 23 2012 09:37 Liquid`Drone wrote:
tell her that you will not masturbate if she is willing to get you off instead. obviously this means that as long as you're long distance, you'll masturbate.
further, tell her that you'll stop watching porn (of other girls) if she makes you porn of herself.
i she's willing to comply, then you should stop masturbating and stop watching porn of other girls. otherwise, don't stop masturbating, don't stop watching porn, and let her make the next move.
Being in a relationship can be great. But one of the benefits is actually supposed to be sexual in nature. A relationship where you're not having sex and where you're not masturbating, is actually sexually inferior to being single and masturbating. Also, it sounds like she had a momentary lapse of reason, which is okay, as long as it's momentary.
Yeah it was momentary, she sent later today that she didn't mean both, but only porn. Also I would have her do that but A. She said no, and B. Thats technically child pornography  . So yes, I can masturbate once more.
|
Try and become better in bed so you two can fuck more. Give eachother massages, sit together naked and breathe together ( this works wonders ). Take dancing classes together. This kind of shit is so good for your sexlife. Just feel eachothers bodies in different ways. Bring some romance in there. Then sex.
And try to go for eyecontact when you orgasm. She will trust you more after that since it is so intimate.
It seems she is a bit insecure. No wonder she is, she has an insecure boyfriend who asks for advice in a place littered with nerds who barely dare talk to a girl. If you have absolutely mindblowing sex you won't even feel the need to masturbate. Nor the need to write shitty blogs on TL.
Just do it more, have better sex. Don't fucking tell her : 'if I am going to masturbate less, we will have to fuck more' . Just do it. Stop rationalizing this, thinking about who is right and who is wrong. This is a sexual ( insecurity ) issue. Solve it with sex. Not with words.
The more I think about it, the more sense it makes. You are both in a debate club. How sexy is that? NOT!
You need to talk and think less and have better sex. Look at your post man, it just screams: I am not in control.
Take control. Go for a romantic evening. Go take salsa class together instead of fucking debating. Take her out for dinner. Take a bath together. Massages, candles. Sit naked on eachothers laps, looking in eachothers eyes and breathing simultaneously. After what seems like forever, start moving. feel her. Make her come. Do this kind of shit once a week and your issues are gone.
Stop being a highschool sweetheart to her start being a lover.
|
A relationship where you're not having sex and where you're not masturbating, is actually sexually inferior to being single and masturbating What she wants from you is security and trust. She wants to get some kind of emotional security that even if you DO look at other girls, she's the one you want to come back to day after day after day. well the obvious solution is to jerk off as much as you want and not tell her about it you put value into a 15 year old girl saying you might be "the one" for her? oO You expect a 15 year old girl to have a stable, funded opinion about something? what is wrong with you? :D
quoting some people who are much wiser than me, in case you missed them.
my personal opinion is dump her ass. Why the fuck do you need to explain yourself to her? You aren't doing anything wrong. If she says you can't masturbate anymore, tell her she's not allowed to pee anymore, or you're dumping her.
|
Yeah I think you're right that a lot of girls don't want their SO to masturbate and watch porn. I personally feel like that's a big consideration to take on whether I even want a person. Also wet dreams. No masturbation leads to thoughts about sex leads to inability to concentrate. Tell her that.
I think if there are guys who are telling her they don't masturbate and they really don't, then those guys aren't old enough yet.
|
She's a 15 year old girl who is utterly clueless about the sexual adult world, and is getting her facts from other clueless 15 year olds. My advice, try to open her eyes a bit on how totally and completely normal masturbating and (in these days) porn is. If she's stubborn in her ignorance, she's just not mature enough to have an adult relationship with.
Also, show her this: The Gossard Big M Survey interviewed 1,000 women, ages 18-30, and their answers indicate that not only do 9 out of 10 women play with themselves, two-thirds do it three times a week.
http://jezebel.com/5107639/92-of-women-masturbate-but-how-often-do-they-do-it
|
Don't listen to those people who say that you just need her to satisfy all your needs. I've lived with women before and sometimes you just rather wack it than have sex. It's sex with someone that always loves you and is there for you.
|
She just sounds really naive and immature. Don't think too much about it.
|
here is a lecture recording on masturbation. it's from a 3rd year psychology at SFU. psychological perspectives on sexuality.
http://www.mediafire.com/?wm3kw6hgkas0tmw
i'd give you my opinion, but my opinion is really the professors opinion. and i think you would probably find her to be more authentic and legit.
but it seems to me this goes way beyond just masturbation and encompasses much more. perhaps communication problems. the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse. or she was socialized in a really weird background.
more likely then not... this will not be a big deal and it will be smooth sailing from here =p
but seriously... listen to the lecture recording.
|
On August 23 2012 12:36 TheKwas wrote:She's a 15 year old girl who is utterly clueless about the sexual adult world, and is getting her facts from other clueless 15 year olds. My advice, try to open her eyes a bit on how totally and completely normal masturbating and (in these days) porn is. If she's stubborn in her ignorance, she's just not mature enough to have an adult relationship with. Also, show her this: Show nested quote +The Gossard Big M Survey interviewed 1,000 women, ages 18-30, and their answers indicate that not only do 9 out of 10 women play with themselves, two-thirds do it three times a week. http://jezebel.com/5107639/92-of-women-masturbate-but-how-often-do-they-do-it
Though for what it's worth, that survey is for 18-30 and she's 15.
But the fact that she's 15 means something as well lol...expecting her to be reasonable=eh.
|
On August 23 2012 12:55 Aerisky wrote:Show nested quote +On August 23 2012 12:36 TheKwas wrote:She's a 15 year old girl who is utterly clueless about the sexual adult world, and is getting her facts from other clueless 15 year olds. My advice, try to open her eyes a bit on how totally and completely normal masturbating and (in these days) porn is. If she's stubborn in her ignorance, she's just not mature enough to have an adult relationship with. Also, show her this: The Gossard Big M Survey interviewed 1,000 women, ages 18-30, and their answers indicate that not only do 9 out of 10 women play with themselves, two-thirds do it three times a week. http://jezebel.com/5107639/92-of-women-masturbate-but-how-often-do-they-do-it Though for what it's worth, that survey is for 18-30 and she's 15. But the fact that she's 15 means something as well lol...expecting her to be reasonable=eh.
wait, she's 15? so the op is that too? LOL ok . /thread.
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT
