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Active: 1246 users

spades: superhuman

Blogs > nunez
Post a Reply
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nunez
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Norway4003 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-06-06 11:31:55
June 06 2012 06:00 GMT
#1
intro


the allegations of spades maphacking that popped up after his showmatch with lucifron has been all the rage the last days. replays surfaced with dubious decisions, mysterious movements and peculiar positioning. people on both sides of the argument hold nothing back and defend their side to the ban.

what if i told you there's another explanation for all of this... something unexpected, something out of this world. unfortunately noone can be simply told what this other explanation is, so i added a lot of pictures as well. welcome to the real world.



the precog


[image loading]

during a tvz versus goldenlight on dualsight, spades showcased some of his immense psychic abilities. after spawning bot left and pumping out a few hellions he approaches goldens natural from the west. here he's presented with 2 roaches, one spine, 6 morphing cocoons and some drones being pulled away from the hellions.

+ Show Spoiler [the hellions approach from the west] +
[image loading]


besides the spine, the roaches, 2 queens and some scouting lings spades is in the dark. golden's main is completely shrouded in the fog of war. what he has scouted didn't really provide any definitive answer to what his opponent was doing, but the contents of the cocoons at the natural might have. however spades doesn't stay long enough to check, he doesn't need to. wasting no time he quickly sends his hellions back to the northern watchtower and promptly asks golden why he is all-inning.

+ Show Spoiler [spades asking the hard questions] +
[image loading]


and indeed, golden was all-inning. there is no greater crime than all-inning in starcraft 2. spades used his precog powers, not mere scouting, to sniff it out before it even happened.



the chosen one


[image loading]

in the recent, much talked about series versus lucifron, spades found his hellions in an awkward position. at 16:40 a group of hellions at the empty 9 o'clock expansion were about to be in a world of hurt with an angry ball of marauders and medevacs approaching from behind the shrubberies.

+ Show Spoiler [crouching marauders, hidden hellions] +
[image loading]


sensing this, spades quickly lays out an escape plan for the unlucky hellions by issuing move commands hugging the egde of the southern chasm. all but one hellion escape to fight on.

+ Show Spoiler [spades dodging the marauders] +
[image loading]


in the heat of late game battle it's impossible to pay attention to every little detail, like a medevac or two changing direction at the edge of your minimap. when things heat up around spades he uses his chosen one powers to slow down time and easily dodge incoming attacks.



the cerebro chamber


[image loading]


playing a meching devil terran cross spawns on artifice is no simple task. being down on bases and down on supply with an inferior composition, spades is hard pressed to make something happen. using his custom built cerebro chamber, fine tuned on demuslims meching units, he stims in blindly at a perfect time to catch most of demuslims tanks unsieged and clears up a dangerous push.

+ Show Spoiler [leap of faith] +
[image loading]


after cleaning up the push spades preforms a sequence of manouvers so amazing that i had to include snapshots of the minimap to convey the scale of them. navigating across this vast map he forces a lift on demuslims 12 o'clock 5th.

+ Show Spoiler [12 o'clock in the air] +
[image loading]


shifting focus he avoids his opponents units and moves his army all the way to the other side of the map to stim in and pick off 3 lonely tanks and demuslims 9 o'clock 4th.

+ Show Spoiler [spades stimming in to kill the 3 tanks] +
[image loading]


moving south to dodge demuslims army he then turns around and goes north east towards the 12 o'clock again, only to catch a smaller task force on an intercept course.

+ Show Spoiler [flanking part of demuslims army] +
[image loading]


sniping a tech lab and juking around to the 12 o'clock again, he stims up a ramp to pick off a handfull of sieging tanks before moving back to the expansion to kill some scvs before he finally gets cleaned up.

+ Show Spoiler [cheeky tank snipes] +
[image loading]


this entire sequence of amazing moves was done using no scans at all, but who needs scans when you have a cerebro chamber.



closing words


this was mostly an excuse to put spades face on a precog. the thought popped up in my head when i was looking through spades vs goldenlight on dualsight trying to form an opinion about the hacking accusations. the examples used in the text are not necessarily evidence for or against that, and are portayed in a way that makes spades look like he has superhuman powers.

pointers on formatting, pictures, grammar, spelling, etc are welcomed. help me write better blog posts.

edits: bad wording, grammar and goldens name

****
conspired against by a confederacy of dunces.
Fishriot
Profile Joined May 2010
United States621 Posts
June 06 2012 06:23 GMT
#2
I don't know what to say. I laughed, I cried, I found new meaning in existence.

Masq
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
Canada1792 Posts
June 06 2012 06:28 GMT
#3
A+ would buy again.
First 5 stars i've ever given
NrG.ZaM
Profile Joined March 2008
United States267 Posts
June 06 2012 06:39 GMT
#4
Truly, spades is the greatest human.
n.DieJokes
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States3443 Posts
June 06 2012 06:41 GMT
#5
How did you manage to break both shift keys and your caps lock?
MyLove + Your Love= Supa Love
SinistarLives
Profile Blog Joined May 2012
United States19 Posts
June 06 2012 06:47 GMT
#6
This is the kind of investigative journalism esports deserves. Good job and thanks for the laugh.
I hunger.
LuckyFool
Profile Blog Joined June 2007
United States9015 Posts
June 06 2012 06:53 GMT
#7
This is one of the best blog posts I've seen in quite some time.
Promethelax
Profile Joined February 2012
Canada7089 Posts
June 06 2012 07:22 GMT
#8
good man, I laughed.
TL Mafia. Love it. Play it. http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/index.php?show_part=31 I find Kennigit really attractive. If anyone has a picture of him please feel free to PM it to me.
scChocolate
Profile Joined May 2012
United States3 Posts
June 06 2012 07:24 GMT
#9
and indeed, light was all-inning. there is no greater crime than all-inning in starcraft 2. spades used his precog powers, not mere scouting, to sniff it out before it even happened.


hardest i've ever laughed from something on tl.
surfinbird1
Profile Joined September 2009
Germany999 Posts
June 06 2012 07:25 GMT
#10
Excellent blog. The pictures made my day.
life of lively to live to life of full life thx to shield battery
Kitchen.Sink
Profile Blog Joined April 2012
26 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-06-06 07:33:51
June 06 2012 07:30 GMT
#11
This is clearly one factor we all overlooked. At first I was convinced that Spades was hacking. Now I'm convinced that he's actually a superhuman.

The picture of him dodging bullets what sold me on it. Completely indisputable.
Thinking always ahead, thinking always of trying to do more, brings a state of mind in which nothing is impossible. The moment one gets into the "expert" state of mind a great number of things become impossible. --Henry Ford
MVTaylor
Profile Blog Joined October 2011
United Kingdom2893 Posts
June 06 2012 07:34 GMT
#12
These are some worthwhile photoshops
@followMVT
FlukyS
Profile Blog Joined August 2011
Ireland485 Posts
June 06 2012 07:45 GMT
#13
Got to say Spades is the luckiest player in the world. How I wish to be that lucky. Like this dude probably has won the lottery a few times with that kind of hit rate. So possible causes for this kind of thing

1. Deal with the devil
2. He can see the future or is of powerful psychic ability enough so to see through the eyes of his opponent
3. (really unlikely) he map hacks

Do what they say on Greys Anatomy says "think horses not Zebras".
TechNoTrance
Profile Joined May 2012
Canada1007 Posts
June 06 2012 07:46 GMT
#14
If this doesn't exonerate Spades, I don't know what will.
All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.
Moosy
Profile Joined October 2010
Canada396 Posts
June 06 2012 07:52 GMT
#15
there plethora of 'cerebrus chamber' points demonstrates good form. didnt laugh but enjoyed the pictures (selling point).
Arun
Profile Joined November 2010
United States56 Posts
June 06 2012 08:03 GMT
#16
Brilliant
Valikyr
Profile Joined June 2010
Sweden2653 Posts
June 06 2012 08:07 GMT
#17
This blog is as a certain spore crawler would say: Excellent!
Mobius_1
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
United Kingdom2763 Posts
June 06 2012 08:15 GMT
#18
This is the best thing to come out of any ESPORTS drama yet.
Starleague Forever. RIP KT Violet~
Jaegeru
Profile Joined February 2012
United Kingdom676 Posts
June 06 2012 08:15 GMT
#19
The best blog I've seen in ages, hilarious.
MVP on winning his Fourth GSL - "Yeah I know the routine, take the flowers and cheque, I will kiss the trophy for the photo"
bGr.MetHiX
Profile Joined February 2011
Bulgaria511 Posts
June 06 2012 08:20 GMT
#20
excellent blog my friend! 5/5!
Top50 GM EU Protoss from Bulgaria. Streaming with commentary : www.twitch.tv/hwbgmethix
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