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Just getting this out of the way, I'm a high school student.
So, in my Latin class, I recently got a 40% on a quiz. This hardly affects my overall grade, but my teacher insisted that I make it up(insisted meaning told me I had to, during the time she requested, or else). However, the time that she requested, tomorrow after school, is not available(or at least I thought it was not). I wanted to take in a week's time, when I would be available.
So, I emailed her to tell her this. Five hours later, I find that she's forwarded the email, which was obviously meant to be private, to my parents and the Speech team coach(I am practicing intensely for Speech, the original reason I thought that I would be unavailable). She also told them about her concerns about me, and divulged the contents of a face-to-face discussion I had with her at the beginning of the year.
And throughout all this, she refers to me as though I'm not there, as in "Praetorial did such and such", "Praetorial has made adequate effort", etc. This despite my first email being a personal question, with no greater academic implications.
She went over my head. She was rude to me, talked to my family and other teachers, never once responded directly to me.
I want to go into her classroom and call her out on it, but her being rather authoritarian, I'd land myself a detention at the very least.
What should I do?
  
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Even if you go to the principle and he agrees with you.. being disliked for the rest of the term could hurt you.
Swallow it and then file a complaint when you are no longer her student.
It will be taken more seriously if you wait.
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She cant email your parents if shes dead nomsayin?
Talk to her after class, let her know that she crossed the line, 99% chance she won't give a fuck, but its worth a shot. What did your parents think?
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Talk to her about it, try not to be overly confronting, but make sure she knows you think she's done the wrong thing.
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maybe she was on her period. that usually makes women more moody
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On May 17 2012 10:44 Megaliskuu wrote:
She cant email your parents if shes dead nomsayin?
Talk to her after class, let her know that she crossed the line, 99% chance she won't give a fuck, but its worth a shot. What did your parents think?
They apparently saw nothing wrong with what she did but were rather surprised about the contents of the private discussion I had with her.
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On May 17 2012 10:49 Br3ezy wrote:
maybe she was on her period. that usually makes women more moody
She's 85.
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On May 17 2012 10:50 Praetorial wrote:Show nested quote +On May 17 2012 10:49 Br3ezy wrote:
maybe she was on her period. that usually makes women more moody She's 85.
Old age can do that too.
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On May 17 2012 10:51 Demonhunter04 wrote:Show nested quote +On May 17 2012 10:50 Praetorial wrote:On May 17 2012 10:49 Br3ezy wrote:
maybe she was on her period. that usually makes women more moody She's 85. Old age can do that too.
She's old, but not elderly.
She's very lively, active, and alert for someone of her age.
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On May 17 2012 10:43 inReacH wrote:
Swallow it and then file a complaint when you are no longer her student.
It will be taken more seriously if you wait.
This is what I think should be done. Unfortunately there is no other root that has even a chance to work =/. Also, it is extremely hard to do things to teachers these days because of dozens of protections they have(like being virtually invincible to being fired).
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Reminds me of an incident in middle school I had. There was a project due on a particular date and that was when I actually used those stupid little calendars they give everyone. One day I noticed that the due date for the project on the calendar in class had been changed to a slightly later date. I raised my hand and asked the teacher if the due date was changed to later. To which she singled me out in front of the whole class and said "Hey everyone, Luke wants the project due earlier I guess we should change it back!" to which the class moaned and stared at me.
The only reason I asked was because she didn't mention anything about it. This was also my first year at a American school after coming down from Canada and in general I already thought people were a lot meaner in the states. A couple classmates called me dumb for asking them how many inches in a foot vs yards in a mile. When I asked them if they knew how many cm were in a meter of course they didn't know though -.-.
I told my parents about it and they complained to her, the next day she approached me said " I talked to your parents, so i'm sorry about yesterday but I just don't like being corrected ok?". At that age made me stereotype Americans as fucking dicks compared to Canadians till high school ~_~. Literally the only time a teacher had a problem with me, I just can't imagine being that mean to a sixth grader for no reason much less singling them out. I just couldn't believe what was even happening in the moment, had never seen such a mean teacher before.
Some people are just mean spirited I guess.
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Go to her class, every day, get there early, ace every single quiz, test and your exam. Just prove her wrong, make her look like she has no idea what she's talking about. It will frustrate her much more than you bitching her out, telling her you offended her, or going to your principal. It's what I did to my math teacher when she started to think I was a bad student. She was pissed every time I did good on a test after calling me out as a bad student.
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On May 17 2012 11:05 zakmaa wrote:
Go to her class, every day, get there early, ace every single quiz, test and your exam. Just prove her wrong, make her look like she has no idea what she's talking about. It will frustrate her much more than you bitching her out, telling her you offended her, or going to your principal. It's what I did to my math teacher when she started to think I was a bad student. She was pissed every time I did good on a test after calling me out as a bad student.
This x1000
Did it with my Sophomore year Chemistry teacher. She went from hating me to loving me in like a month.
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On May 17 2012 10:43 inReacH wrote:
Even if you go to the principle and he agrees with you.. being disliked for the rest of the term could hurt you.
Swallow it and then file a complaint when you are no longer her student.
It will be taken more seriously if you wait.
I really agree with this. If you're hated for the rest of the year, she's gonna find every excuse to take points off your exams and hw or something. It could really hurt you at the end.
She's old, she probably thinks she won't let a teenager like you push her around. Just let it go and apologize and be a good teacher in my opinion. Then at the end, go complain to someone about it when she can't change your grade anymore.
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Man this shit just happens in school you gotta deal with it : /
As long as you're gonna pass the course you can afford to suffer through this one incident. Just don't antagonize her or she'll try even harder to fuck you up and you're at a natural disadvantage since she is the teacher, after all
If you gotta bring it up, bring it up with the school administration or the Speech team coach. Probably the speech coach will be "on your side" and can help you negotiate
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On May 17 2012 10:44 Megaliskuu wrote:
She cant email your parents if shes dead nomsayin?
Talk to her after class, let her know that she crossed the line, 99% chance she won't give a fuck, but its worth a shot. What did your parents think?
That got a rofl irl.
But I would talk to my parents about it. Not that I think there's much that you can practically do about it- I hardly see a teacher getting fired for this.
Still, that's quite the teacher you got...
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Korea (South)497 Posts
have sex with her, secretly tape it, and then blackmail her
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On May 17 2012 11:41 .Sic. wrote:
have sex with her, secretly tape it, and then blackmail her
as noted above 85 y/o.
But any good advice?
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For starters, whatever private information it was, you shouldn't of said it but that's passed now.
By letting this bother you already you didn't take the most important piece of advice, don't let it bother you. Just one teacher, one class.
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This is called ageism, something an unfortunate number of teachers exhibit-- they feel their students are less valuable/less complete people because of their age.
Anyway, nothing you can do except do well in the class as other people have suggested. Good luck man. :/
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On May 17 2012 10:43 inReacH wrote:
Even if you go to the principle and he agrees with you.. being disliked for the rest of the term could hurt you.
Swallow it and then file a complaint when you are no longer her student.
It will be taken more seriously if you wait.
I'm inclined to agree with this way. Write a complaint or w/e, and circle a date on your calander when you are not her student anymore to turn it in.
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On May 17 2012 10:52 Praetorial wrote:Show nested quote +On May 17 2012 10:51 Demonhunter04 wrote:On May 17 2012 10:50 Praetorial wrote:On May 17 2012 10:49 Br3ezy wrote:
maybe she was on her period. that usually makes women more moody She's 85. Old age can do that too. She's old, but not elderly. She's very lively, active, and alert for someone of her age.
senile maybe?
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send an email to your parents saying that she molested you, or key her car
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You are in high school. Virtually no one in authority positions is going to have a problem with a teacher taking concerns about a student to a parent, as long as she isn't overtly racist or out of line insulting about it or something. You didn't give us the content of the e-mail she sent, but no complaint you file, now or later, based solely on a teacher divulging information to a student's parents that the student felt shouldn't have been divulged will ever EVER result in any negative consequences for the teacher. I'm not saying what she did was ok or that it wasn't really disrespectful, but teachers simply have a ton of authority over their students in high school. It really sucks sometimes. My advice would be to go and have a frank discussion with your guidance counselor about the issue, or to get your parents, you, and the teacher all in the same room together. Just forget any notion of making any sort of formal complaint, and focus on having as good a relationship with your parents as possible, and try to salvage what relationship you can with your teacher.
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I'd like to see the contents of the email you sent her. I'm inclined to think there's more to this than you're letting on, or you worded the email poorly. She's also within her rights to forward it to your parents as she's technically a guardian while you're at school. I can't see how she was 'absurdly rude' either.
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Korea (South)497 Posts
On May 17 2012 11:54 Praetorial wrote:Show nested quote +On May 17 2012 11:41 .Sic. wrote:
have sex with her, secretly tape it, and then blackmail her as noted above 85 y/o. But any good advice?
doesnt that just make it easier for you to seduce her?
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She's speaking to your parents and letting you in on it. What would've you prefer? She send it behind your back? I hope you never have an office job as you often get mails that aren't directed at you, but you are CCed because it's relevant to you. Just explain to your parents the situation. Suck it up. It'll be fine.
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She's referring to you as if you're not there because her email is addressed to your parents, but she included you because she thinks you should know what she is writing to your parents. That isn't rude; that's letting you in on the conversation.
She emailed your Speech coach so that you can miss Speech prep. in order to take her quiz; this way you can't say, "Oh, I asked my Speech coach, I can't miss it at all," either because she doesn't trust you to ask him yourself or because she wants to make sure you don't get in trouble for skipping practice or something. (Also to make sure you aren't just lying to her about having practice.) She emailed your parents, because they're your guardians and they have every right to know about your academic performance and anything you said in school that she thinks your parents should know about.
You don't get that many rights in HS. Just how it works, bro.
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On May 17 2012 11:05 zakmaa wrote:
Go to her class, every day, get there early, ace every single quiz, test and your exam. Just prove her wrong, make her look like she has no idea what she's talking about. It will frustrate her much more than you bitching her out, telling her you offended her, or going to your principal. It's what I did to my math teacher when she started to think I was a bad student. She was pissed every time I did good on a test after calling me out as a bad student.
And then you're exactly doing what she wants you to do. And she'll be like: see? I knew you could do better than that! I was right you could do better, etc.
That's like being a puppet (unless you don't mind doing a lot of extra shit for how many years?)
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United States10328 Posts
On May 17 2012 18:24 imPermanenCe wrote:Show nested quote +On May 17 2012 11:05 zakmaa wrote:
Go to her class, every day, get there early, ace every single quiz, test and your exam. Just prove her wrong, make her look like she has no idea what she's talking about. It will frustrate her much more than you bitching her out, telling her you offended her, or going to your principal. It's what I did to my math teacher when she started to think I was a bad student. She was pissed every time I did good on a test after calling me out as a bad student. And then you're exactly doing what she wants you to do. And she'll be like: see? I knew you could do better than that! I was right you could do better, etc. That's like being a puppet (unless you don't mind doing a lot of extra shit for how many years?)
lol as if trying in school is now a bad thing...??
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On May 17 2012 18:39 ]343[ wrote:Show nested quote +On May 17 2012 18:24 imPermanenCe wrote:On May 17 2012 11:05 zakmaa wrote:
Go to her class, every day, get there early, ace every single quiz, test and your exam. Just prove her wrong, make her look like she has no idea what she's talking about. It will frustrate her much more than you bitching her out, telling her you offended her, or going to your principal. It's what I did to my math teacher when she started to think I was a bad student. She was pissed every time I did good on a test after calling me out as a bad student. And then you're exactly doing what she wants you to do. And she'll be like: see? I knew you could do better than that! I was right you could do better, etc. That's like being a puppet (unless you don't mind doing a lot of extra shit for how many years?) lol as if trying in school is now a bad thing...??
Yes it is. Like setting the turn light. You just don't do it, otherwise you could be respected by the authorities. Nobody wants that. Stay in da hood.
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so... she emailed your sponsors?
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On May 17 2012 14:38 babylon wrote:
She's referring to you as if you're not there because her email is addressed to your parents, but she included you because she thinks you should know what she is writing to your parents. That isn't rude; that's letting you in on the conversation.
She emailed your Speech coach so that you can miss Speech prep. in order to take her quiz; this way you can't say, "Oh, I asked my Speech coach, I can't miss it at all," either because she doesn't trust you to ask him yourself or because she wants to make sure you don't get in trouble for skipping practice or something. (Also to make sure you aren't just lying to her about having practice.) She emailed your parents, because they're your guardians and they have every right to know about your academic performance and anything you said in school that she thinks your parents should know about.
You don't get that many rights in HS. Just how it works, bro.
Everything in this post is correct. You're in high school.
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As someone who works in a school helping solve student-student and student-teacher conflicts, here is my advice. First, of all, you have to think about it from her perspective, which is almost certainly identical to what Babylon posted. I'm sure she doesn't think she was being disrespectful. However, if you approach her at the end of school, when both of you have time to talk, you can probably communicate your concerns to her. The trick is to be humble, respectful, and phrase things from your own perspective. Do not get angry, do not be disrespectful yourself. Use language like, "I felt frustrated when x happened, or when you did y, I felt disrespected."
Remember the goal of talking to her is to get her to see things from your perspective, and to get her to empathize. The goal isn't for her to acknowledge that she did something wrong. If you can get her to see things from your point of view, then she probably will apologize, but don't go in with that as a goal or else you will be setting yourself up for failure, and her to get more upset. Sorry if this isn't clear, but I usually have these types of discussion in person. Good luck!
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You did shitty on a test, your teacher gives you an opportunity to unfuck it and you tell her you can't because of an extracirricular activity. So she gives that person a heads up, and emails your parents to let them know what's up.
There's nothing rude about that. She's a teacher who wants you to succeed, and is old enough to know all of the bullshit excuses dumb high schoolers give to avoid things in life. That's a good teacher.
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On May 17 2012 19:27 Primadog wrote:
so... she emailed your sponsors?
Good one =P
It's high school, not much you can do about it other than suck it up and do better on the next quiz/test/exam. Old teachers are virtually untouchable - the years of experience + union power means they can do whatever they want.
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Get over it. Don't tell teachers anything you wouldn't want your parents (or anyone else) to hear.
I don't see anything wrong with her behavior (especially not "absurdly rude"), unless she told you affirmatively that anything you told her would be kept private.
Think of school as a low level job. Do what it takes to get to where you want to be next.
Why would you ever email a "personal question" to a high school teacher? What was the question?
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Talk to her (teacher) about the email. Tell her you understand her concerns; but did not feel it was needed to address your parents on this matter. Oh while in conversation be sure to use words from this 50's slang website. It will help set her at ease and know that you see her as a "hip cat."
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Well the thing is that he said it was a quiz, so he failed something thats worth about 0.1% of his mark and shes forcing him to do it again, doesn't really make sense
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EPT
