My gf just left me for her ex a few days ago. I was angry, hurt, and disappointed, but that period has past. She handled the situation remarkably well. I don't blame her for feeling how she felt. It is hard to control your feelings. She wanted to go back to China in a few years. I could not go back for her. Her ex is from China. The situation sucks, but the world keeps moving. The following is a reminder to stay true to myself.
No regrets, no hate - only love and acceptance. She did not leave you because she fell in love with another man. She left because of circumstance. Do not blame her. Understand her. Because it is understandable. She loved him more than you. It is not personal. She knew him longer. He provided her safety and security. Understand that. She loved you too. Circumstance tore you apart, nothing else. Dispel all doubt and look to the future. Remain friends. She deserves your friendship. She is the type of friend you want.
Don’t rush into a relationship. Take some time and heal. You were happiest when you were single. Remember that. You are made for the single life. Do not pursue, peruse. Test the waters. Enjoy yourself. The one for you is out there. Do not seek her (or him) out. You will know when you know.
Confide in your friends. You can’t get through this alone.
Don’t lose track of yourself. Resume improving yourself. You halted and even regressed for a while. Do not make that mistake again. Be confident. Speak with conviction. Smile. Smiling is contagious. Smile. Be friendly. Be flirty. Be everything you want until you are what you want.
Don’t lose sight of your convictions. You believe in kindness and honesty. Don’t let this change that. She did not cheat on you. She did not want this to happen. It is circumstance.
I came to this blog eager to offer advice... but I'm afraid I have no words of wisdom to offer. Instead, I think I'll take some of your messages and have a moment of recollection.
Never let anyone else get in the way of who you want to be. Don't lose sight of what truly matters. You made me log in for the first time in years just to say this.
On March 24 2012 15:28 xiaofan wrote: No regrets, no hate - only love and acceptance. She did not leave you because she fell in love with another man. She left because of circumstance. Do not blame her. Understand her. Because it is understandable. She loved him more than you. It is not personal. She knew him longer. He provided her safety and security. Understand that. She loved you too. Circumstance tore you apart, nothing else. Dispel all doubt and look to the future. Remain friends. She deserves your friendship. She is the type of friend you want.
Not to get sidetracked, but it's especially personal.
Other than that, the tone and attitude of the OP is positive in a way, but borderline dismissive and ignorant.
GL man, sounds like you have your head in a good place, but don't be afraid to experience any raw emotions that come along, even when they contradict how you want to feel.
On March 24 2012 15:40 xhuwin wrote: Never let anyone else get in the way of who you want to be. Don't lose sight of what truly matters. You made me log in for the first time in years just to say this.
Who would leave such a sexy sexy man?
I'm sorry man. It's been quite some time since you, xhuwin, and I played BGH on U.S. East. Like 2 years now? I'd always manage to throw the game with my patented 9-gate speedzeal build.
I like your attitude a lot. It's a very healthy way of looking at it, though it takes a lot of self-confidence and maturity to be able to look at a situation like that and say "it's not personal; it's just circumstance."
I hope I can learn from your pain, though when I inevitably face these circumstances, I am totally going to take it as an indictment of my value as a human being.
On March 24 2012 15:40 xhuwin wrote: Never let anyone else get in the way of who you want to be. Don't lose sight of what truly matters. You made me log in for the first time in years just to say this.
Who would leave such a sexy sexy man?
I'm sorry man. It's been quite some time since you, xhuwin, and I played BGH on U.S. East. Like 2 years now? I'd always manage to throw the game with my patented 9-gate speedzeal build.
I like your attitude a lot. It's a very healthy way of looking at it, though it takes a lot of self-confidence and maturity to be able to look at a situation like that and say "it's not personal; it's just circumstance."
I hope I can learn from your pain, though when I inevitably face these circumstances, I am totally going to take it as an indictment of my value as a human being.
Thank you so much for your support, Gummy (and to everyone else who posted)! Resentment festers. There is no point in pointing fingers and regretting the past. Forgive and forget. You and those around you will be happier. Above all else, this is most important.
On March 24 2012 15:28 xiaofan wrote: No regrets, no hate - only love and acceptance. She did not leave you because she fell in love with another man. She left because of circumstance. Do not blame her. Understand her. Because it is understandable. She loved him more than you. It is not personal. She knew him longer. He provided her safety and security. Understand that. She loved you too. Circumstance tore you apart, nothing else. Dispel all doubt and look to the future. Remain friends. She deserves your friendship. She is the type of friend you want.
Not to get sidetracked, but it's especially personal.
Other than that, the tone and attitude of the OP is positive in a way, but borderline dismissive and ignorant.
Divito, you are entitled to your perspective on the matter, and I respect that. Here is how I see it. Dismissive is forgiveness. Ignorance is giving the benefit of the doubt. I was bitter for the first few days and it made me feel terrible. It is easy to blame yourself and others, and curse the world for what happened, but it gets you nowhere. It doesn't matter what you want to call it. What matters is that one's mind comes to peace with the terms, and the world can move on.
such a touchpad master of BW can only attract hordes of attractive women in the future
things are probably hard but you have a great mindset. i need one of those for myself. best of luck and hope you can pursue your own goals and happiness in due time
EPT
