So at a young age I was scorned fairly hard by a girl which left me pretty muched fucked up for life. I don't go to "parties" or clubs. Mostly due to really bad experiences in my teen years. I do however love to get together with friends to play football, watch movies, play games ect ect Basicly if there is a limited ammount of people involved and we are not running around town getting drunk. And I'm very social however, whenever a girl shows the slightest interest my brain shuts down and my secondary brain located so far up my arse it has never seen the sunshine takes over.
to me it's really sad, hillarious and retarded at the same time.
Let me paint you scenario. There is a really cute girl, she shares at least 3 or 4 interests with me and she is super fun to be around. She has since shown interest in me, asking me to go out with her and her friends, asking me to come to parties ect ect. The normal response to this is: "I'd love to" Maybe you can just be friends wouldn't mind that, or go from there.
However what my arsebrain is doing is the following.
"Hi Hynda, wanna go out to x tonight? It's just me and 2 friends" "Oh, I can't *SADFACE* I promised I would visit my friend today, he just had a baby with his girlfriend and I said I'd spend the evening there" "Oh ok *SADFACE* but I'll see you at the christmas party then *Happyface*" "oh yes, ofcourse..." "What gender is the baby?" *FUCK I DON'T KNOW THAT, SKYPE, START WORKING SKYPE*
"Oh hello Hynda, we just got home from the hospital a few hours ago, I'm really tired" "WHATS THE NAME OF YOUR BABY" "What?" "WHAT'S THE NAME OF YOUR GOD DAMN BABY, YOU DUMB SHIT" "Hey, asshole. First off; Don't shout she is sleeping next to me the last thing she needs is for your voice to slubimnaly etched into her mind, I don't want her first memories to involve you being retarded" "ITS A GIRL YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. I NEED NAME" "It's... XXXXXX" "WE ARE MAKING PROGRESS, oh btw that's an awesome name" "Why the hell are you screaming, and yea it is" "ALLRIGHT THEN I'M COMMING OVER AND I'M BRINGING A CAMERA" "What? No, I'm tired as all hell and they are both asleep" "I NEED TO BE THERE, AND I NEED PICTURES" "You're retarded" "I'LL TAKE THAT AS A YES" "You're going to ruin my daughter"
So now I'm over at thier place, taking photos of me pretending to be there just to look at a baby. I don't know if you've ever seen newborns, but they are not cute. Not in the slightest. It's amazing how something that hideous can make someone look like the happiest man on the planet.
After we had talked for a while, I went "I wish I had a girlfriend" and then it hit me full force what an absoulte broken piece of shit pathetic human being I am. I just spent hours of effort trying to avoid having to spend time with someone I would love to spend time with, and I wonder why the fuck I'm alone.
I heard girls loves the kind of guy it takes 8 hours a day to just get him to talk to them, I got this one in the bag.
On December 17 2011 00:59 leo23 wrote: holy crap man your friend might have thought you are a baby killer
He's used to it. It's not the first time I've just him as scapegoat to escape things I want to do. After you get so close that you've cleaned crap out of someones hair after they soiled themselves and then slipped in the shower you tend to just roll with it.
[x] Read title and get curious. [x] See posters name, recognize him and get ready to read it thorougly to then type an eloquent and helpfull answer afterwards. [x] Read full post. [x] Read full post again.
Did you just wanna rant or do you have an acutal question/problem? =P
PS:
There is a really cute girl, she shares at least 3 or 4 interests with me and she is super fun to be around. She has since shown interest in me, asking me to go out with her and her friends, asking me to come to parties ect ect.
[x] Read title and get curious. [x] See posters name, recognize him and get ready to read it thorougly to then type an eloquent and helpfull answer afterwards. [x] Read full post. [x] Read full post again.
Did you just wanna rant or do you have an acutal question/problem? =P
sometimes you just have to ramble. All of my blog entries are like this. Disjointed, and confusing. It's more a lament of how I as a socialy adept person manage to go from charming and witty to a complete outcast just cause someone might fancy me. If some girl said "oh you're handsome (I'm not the kind of man that would ever be cute)" I would probably go "My main interests in life are murdering babies, rape and I've strangled more kittens than you could eat". Also I hope someone reads this and goes "I thought I was fucked up in the head, but I've got nothing on this idiot" and then have a better day.
I'm not super educated on Sweden but some friends of mine who live there tell me that women there are too loose which makes relationships hard, if that's what you want.
It seems you are very conscious and sensitive about how girls perceive you, and because of bad past experiences you have learned to put up a barrier when dealing with girls that are interested in you as a person. you shut down because of the fear of being ridiculed, turned down or hurt and rather stay passive to avoid those pains. But by avoiding getting hurt you are not free of pain either because the longing for love won't stop and the regret you will suffer for not trying will put more scars on your soul.
so I would say do your best to be with that girl if you like her, otherwise the thoughts of what could have been might haunt you for the rest of your life and the pain of that will be far greater then the pain of being turned down by the girl (trust me on this one).
Just go to the Christmas party with her, have no high expectations, but open up and do not fear her judgement of you when you do. Just confessing to her would be even better but I know that is a big step, but it would release the frustration and anxiety you feel right now, even if you get turned down, because you can look back and say you tried.
On December 17 2011 01:38 redtooth wrote: i love it when people blame some traumatic experience in their past for their failures in the present.
That's why it's called trauma, either you don't believe in trauma or you have the wrong definition of it.
There is no takeaway messege, no moral and no cry for help. Don't get me wrong I really do enjoy reading people trying to help but in the end this is simply ramblings of someone that needed to ramble.
To be honest, I can't really think about much related to this post. I don't like to be the grammar Nazi, but much isn't a verb =(. That just really peeved me the wrong way. Grrr....
Just want to point out that many people don't need to go so far out of their way (or out of their way at all) in order to not have any activity with the ladies XD
On December 17 2011 07:23 Knightlax wrote: You might want to just say yes next time she asks you to do something. Seems like the simpler solution, Occam's razor, etc.
Unless you like making crazy blog posts more than you like the idea of hanging out with a cute girl. In that case, carry on.
" There is no takeaway messege, no moral and no cry for help. Don't get me wrong I really do enjoy reading people trying to help but in the end this is simply ramblings of someone that needed to ramble. "
Ramble on my friend! I am all for it. And truthfully if you like this girl, you should just let her in, be open..better to say that you let people in and get hurt, then to be hurt regretting not letting anyone in.
At least you aren't overprotective and you don't stare at girls like some guys and then just go "stare more... must stare more....."When they ask why you're staring.
EPT
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