EPTMost of all it was amazing how we banded together like that. It was silly, really, fighting so hard, being constantly afraid of the competition, and above all being so happy at having prevailed in such a petty contest of wills. I wanted to bring something to the table to celebrate and perhaps commemorate this victory. I started writing this around the time Husky and TB published their videos. All the while I was terrified we were going to lose and the effort would go to waste. In hindsight we were well ahead ever since the aforementioned videos went up, but still, the threat was there.
This is a sort of mock-epic funsy poetic dramatization of our struggles. Yeeaaaaaah. TL is awesome~!
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Form-mastering Glider, he of the artist’s hand
which deals only in endless splendor,
stood sentinel over the darkling land
and thought: shall I, a true contender
for the end-all prize, surrender?
Alone I am beset by swarms of enemies;
no contest can be had in conditions such as these.
How then to prevail, to offset these dreadful odds?
And he spoke, hands together, as if praying to the gods:
“Team Liquid, sky-shearing mountain,
thrust from dark deep into womb of outer void,
the perch of esports, cradle of athletes almighty,
once did I do you a favor,
drawing the likeness of your heroes.
Now in time of need I bid you hear me:
the enemy emerges from Pluto’s vault of plenty -
machines of splendorous mechanics
true terrors of battle, ignorant of sleep
of hunger of fear, relentless automatons.
What fight can I of bone and sinew bring
to that which does not rest?”
Blasting the heavens through power of lung
the masterful legions of Team Liquid sung:
“Once in anger we broke a hard man’s pride.
Fear nothing, friend, for we guard your side.
Though we be but men, our flesh is stronger still,
we’ll overwhelm the enemy with battle-earned skill.”
Singing their glory to battle they went
but in second place always were they sent;
no sooner they gained the upper hand
their advantage was turned just as quickly to sand.
“What’s to be done,” in chorus they shouted,
“Their infinite numbers keep us perennially routed.”
“We are but one mountain,” a wise man observed,
“But we have other friends with great width of word.”
Together they called to the neighboring mountains
The answers returned in multitudinous fountains.
The men of the first mountain said:
“When, dew-swept, the forest sees rise the sun,
the darkness of night, shivering, comes undone.
Atop our mountain we hold up day’s star
to shine hope onward, from here to far.”
Quoth the men of the second mountain:
“Seldom the stallion unhorses the rider,
often the giant crushes the ant.
It angers us greatly, this numberless force,
marching against us, ‘gainst nature itself.”
Three mountains warring, earth torn in their path,
laid ruin to ruin as they unbridled their wrath.
The enemy suffered, yet onward they came,
even in defeat staying true to their fame.
No quarter was given, none was requested,
the slaughter lasted till the last bot was bested.
“What say you,” said Husky, when the melee was done,
“we went straight for the prize but we had quite the run.”
“No sweat off my back,” said Cynical Brit,
“I lasted the day without taking a hit.”
“That’s as well as can be,” the men of Team Liquid said.
“But we’ve been spamming all day - look - our fingers are red,
worse still, we think our nerve endings are dead,
which isn’t to say we’re sad or disappointed,
but we’d really like to know, where’s our champion anointed?”
And from the foot of a hill, Glider rose with a jig.
His victory made safe, his head he did toss,
and grinning he said, “Ain’t no thang for a boss.”
FIN
