• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EDT 11:12
CEST 17:12
KST 00:12
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
Maestros of the Game: Week 1/Play-in Preview9[ASL20] Ro24 Preview Pt2: Take-Off7[ASL20] Ro24 Preview Pt1: Runway132v2 & SC: Evo Complete: Weekend Double Feature4Team Liquid Map Contest #21 - Presented by Monster Energy12
Community News
LiuLi Cup - September 2025 Tournaments2Weekly Cups (August 25-31): Clem's Last Straw?35Weekly Cups (Aug 18-24): herO dethrones MaxPax6Maestros of The Game—$20k event w/ live finals in Paris46Weekly Cups (Aug 11-17): MaxPax triples again!15
StarCraft 2
General
Weekly Cups (August 25-31): Clem's Last Straw? Team Liquid Map Contest #21 - Presented by Monster Energy Heaven's Balance Suggestions (roast me) Geoff 'iNcontroL' Robinson has passed away Speculation of future Wardii series
Tourneys
RSL: Revival, a new crowdfunded tournament series LiuLi Cup - September 2025 Tournaments Sea Duckling Open (Global, Bronze-Diamond) Sparkling Tuna Cup - Weekly Open Tournament Maestros of The Game—$20k event w/ live finals in Paris
Strategy
Custom Maps
External Content
Mutation # 489 Bannable Offense Mutation # 488 What Goes Around Mutation # 487 Think Fast Mutation # 486 Watch the Skies
Brood War
General
BGH Auto Balance -> http://bghmmr.eu/ BSL Polish World Championship 2025 20-21 September BW General Discussion ASL20 General Discussion Simple editing of Brood War save files? (.mlx)
Tourneys
Small VOD Thread 2.0 Is there English video for group selection for ASL [Megathread] Daily Proleagues [ASL20] Ro24 Group F
Strategy
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Muta micro map competition Fighting Spirit mining rates [G] Mineral Boosting
Other Games
General Games
General RTS Discussion Thread Path of Exile Nintendo Switch Thread Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread Warcraft III: The Frozen Throne
Dota 2
Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
TL Mafia Community Thread Vanilla Mini Mafia
Community
General
US Politics Mega-thread Russo-Ukrainian War Thread Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine Canadian Politics Mega-thread YouTube Thread
Fan Clubs
The Happy Fan Club!
Media & Entertainment
Anime Discussion Thread Movie Discussion! [Manga] One Piece [\m/] Heavy Metal Thread
Sports
2024 - 2026 Football Thread Formula 1 Discussion TeamLiquid Health and Fitness Initiative For 2023
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
Computer Build, Upgrade & Buying Resource Thread High temperatures on bridge(s) Gtx660 graphics card replacement
TL Community
The Automated Ban List TeamLiquid Team Shirt On Sale
Blogs
A very expensive lesson on ma…
Garnet
hello world
radishsoup
Lemme tell you a thing o…
JoinTheRain
How Culture and Conflict Imp…
TrAiDoS
RTS Design in Hypercoven
a11
Evil Gacha Games and the…
ffswowsucks
INDEPENDIENTE LA CTM
XenOsky
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 1433 users

Surrender

Blogs > Lemonayd
Post a Reply
Lemonayd
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
United States745 Posts
November 29 2011 21:09 GMT
#1
Today was a day I have been dodging for about four years now. I have no idea what the actual underlying issue with me is, but for about four years now maybe once every three weeks I would have violent shake for about one second. I just say it's a seizure that I'm completely conscious for, but it only lasts a second. I don't have any symptoms that tell me when it's coming or any real after affect. It's just something I've really ignored, I have not wanted to deal with it ever since it first happened.

About two weeks ago for the very first time I actually fell down when it occurred. I was walking to the fridge to grab a cookie when it happened and I had fallen down and smashed my face on the counter and it fucked up my nose pretty nicely. I broke down into tears when this happened and I finally decided that I need to see a doctor.

I had already visited the normal doctor the day after that event, but just today had to see the actual neurologist. I've really hid the fear from everyone (only a few people I talk to are aware of the issue, it's really uncomfortable for me to explain to my bosses), but I had to go see them.

Both of my parents, although divorced, were really shitty with me due to the fact that I wanted to see the doctor alone. They tried to contact me on my way to the doctor to see where I was, but I was just ignoring them.

When I'm about two minutes from the office I'm stressing out in my car and look outside the window to gaze at the trees. I rear-ended the person in front of me...

Until the girl I hit got out of her car I just screamed inside my car, I was completely overcome with frustration and anger at that moment. We swapped information and did all the usual business. Her SUV was fine, but did some work to the front of my Civic. At this point I had to call my dad to help me with transportation and towing. I was able to drive my car around the corner and had that taken care of since it was smoking. My dad at this point had to accompany me into the doctors.

Once I finally got to sat down with the doctor she did all of the normal tests including blood pressure. I have family members with high blood pressure, but I have not had issues before. After taking mine she noted that it is particularly high... (if she only knew.)

The depressing part starts settling in at this point, the things I've been fearing are slowly becoming reality. She gave me a start kit for medicine to take that is some sort of brain relaxer (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lamotrigine). I have to also have an MRI on my birthday and also an EEG. For two days I will have to wear electrodes to monitor my brain. Great.... (fuck me)

So I head to my dads work (he actually manages a body shop which is wear the car went). Just feeling really depressed about everything I'm waiting around and eventually enterprise comes and picks me up so I can go get my rental. Seeing as I don't have a lot of money in the first place after having a $100 hold on my card and paying $50 for my co pay, this is really starting to burden me. I eventually sign for this ford car and head out.

I usually listen to my ipod in my car since it has a USB port, so it sucked when I found out this car didn't have that luxury so I had to listen to the shitty radio. After about a 50 minutes of driving I'm almost to my house and I realize that the car has satellite radio (not bad..). I turn it on and flip through the first few stations and see the head unit displaying "Angels and Airwaves".

Over the past five years, I've listened to AvA more than any other artist. I absolutely love their music and find a lot of strength and motivation in their songs. When I saw them on the radio and actually heard the lead of the band Tom Delonge intro their recent single Surrender (
) I broke down and cried. It always sucks to cry, but after it was over I felt astronomically better than I did when I first walked out of the doctors office.

Maybe it was God or just some dumb luck that I turned into that station, but it put my mind in a place where at least I can hope that it all gets better from here.

****
Horrde
Profile Joined March 2010
Canada302 Posts
November 29 2011 21:19 GMT
#2
Compelling story. I'm glad you find inspiration and happiness from AvA. Anything Tom makes I've become accustomed to liking... I'm a pretty huge fanboy of whatever he makes and have been following him through blink, boxcar, and ava.

Sorry to hear your going through a tough patch. It happens from time to time to everyone. Vent all you like, TL is here for ya man.
ShatterZer0
Profile Joined November 2010
United States1843 Posts
November 30 2011 00:00 GMT
#3
Write more. I'm almost addicted.

Maybe it'll get better, maybe it won't... but either way you will get stronger. And sometimes the pain is worth it.

Have faith the the sun'll rise tomorrow man. Hope the seizures're nothing too serious.
A time to live.
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
Next event in 1h 48m
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
mouzHeroMarine 388
ProTech71
StarCraft: Brood War
Britney 69542
GuemChi 8989
EffOrt 1394
Jaedong 784
hero 558
Larva 483
Stork 424
Snow 387
firebathero 318
Mini 270
[ Show more ]
actioN 250
Hyuk 250
BeSt 243
ggaemo 189
sSak 143
Light 141
Mong 98
Soma 88
Backho 87
Hyun 78
Rush 74
Mind 70
Sharp 55
Sea.KH 47
PianO 45
JYJ39
soO 26
Aegong 24
Shine 20
zelot 19
scan(afreeca) 18
JulyZerg 14
Terrorterran 14
Sacsri 12
ajuk12(nOOB) 9
HiyA 7
sorry 5
Stormgate
BeoMulf1
Dota 2
The International30721
Gorgc14173
Dendi741
Fuzer 274
DeMusliM248
XcaliburYe139
Counter-Strike
Fnx 368
oskar171
markeloff105
Super Smash Bros
amsayoshi30
Other Games
singsing1981
Lowko434
Mlord236
crisheroes158
ArmadaUGS132
ToD109
KnowMe93
Trikslyr23
Organizations
StarCraft 2
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
sctven
[ Show 15 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• poizon28 21
• intothetv
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• Migwel
• sooper7s
StarCraft: Brood War
• BSLYoutube
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
Dota 2
• C_a_k_e 1583
League of Legends
• Nemesis3374
• Jankos1257
• TFBlade402
Upcoming Events
Maestros of the Game
1h 48m
Classic vs TriGGeR
Reynor vs SHIN
OSC
11h 48m
MaNa vs SHIN
SKillous vs ShoWTimE
Bunny vs TBD
Cham vs TBD
RSL Revival
18h 48m
Reynor vs Astrea
Classic vs sOs
Maestros of the Game
1d 1h
Serral vs Ryung
ByuN vs Zoun
BSL Team Wars
1d 3h
Team Bonyth vs Team Dewalt
CranKy Ducklings
1d 18h
RSL Revival
1d 18h
GuMiho vs Cham
ByuN vs TriGGeR
Cosmonarchy
1d 22h
TriGGeR vs YoungYakov
YoungYakov vs HonMonO
HonMonO vs TriGGeR
Maestros of the Game
2 days
Solar vs Bunny
Clem vs Rogue
[BSL 2025] Weekly
2 days
[ Show More ]
RSL Revival
2 days
Cure vs Bunny
Creator vs Zoun
Maestros of the Game
3 days
Maru vs Lambo
herO vs ShoWTimE
BSL Team Wars
3 days
Team Hawk vs Team Sziky
Sparkling Tuna Cup
3 days
Monday Night Weeklies
4 days
The PondCast
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

CSL Season 18: Qualifier 2
SEL Season 2 Championship
HCC Europe

Ongoing

Copa Latinoamericana 4
BSL 20 Team Wars
KCM Race Survival 2025 Season 3
BSL 21 Qualifiers
ASL Season 20
CSL 2025 AUTUMN (S18)
RSL Revival: Season 2
Maestros of the Game
BLAST Open Fall Qual
Esports World Cup 2025
BLAST Bounty Fall 2025
BLAST Bounty Fall Qual
IEM Cologne 2025
FISSURE Playground #1
BLAST.tv Austin Major 2025

Upcoming

LASL Season 20
2025 Chongqing Offline CUP
BSL Season 21
BSL 21 Team A
Chzzk MurlocKing SC1 vs SC2 Cup #2
EC S1
BLAST Rivals Fall 2025
IEM Chengdu 2025
PGL Masters Bucharest 2025
Thunderpick World Champ.
MESA Nomadic Masters Fall
CS Asia Championships 2025
ESL Pro League S22
StarSeries Fall 2025
FISSURE Playground #2
BLAST Open Fall 2025
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2025 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.