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I envy people with dreams. People with a burning passion for something, someting that engulfs their lives. I'm 23 years old, and I am a great copy cat. Ever since I was little I was always told I was talented at everything I did. Football, Handball, Argumenting, Maths you name it as soon as something new was introduced I rocketed ahead. But I never had a dream, I picked something did it for 2 months was told I had talent and left. So while starting out better than almost anyone else I've met they would slowly overtake me as I lost interest and their interest kept growing.
This holds true, I have a fantastic talent for being "Ok" at pretty much everything I do.
To relate this to say Starcraft. I am not a RTS player. I played BW and I played Warcraft 3 that's it, and that was pretty much the Campaign and then a few matches online. Then when SC2 was released and more precisly when diamond league was released my passion started burning. I played tons and tons, practicing day and night and got better. I ended up number 1 in my Diamond league and I even ended up facing DeMuslim on the ladder. So I reached as high as I could on the ladder and as always my passion vanished. Instead of taking the opportunity to practice like a beast and maybe one day getting to play in a tourney vs decent players I just stopped. One day I didn't play a game and then I didn't play any games for 6 months, I couldn't care less about SC2.
This goes for every single undertaking I've ever done I go in with a fierce passion and guns blazing and then it just fades. Another example is sport, I've always been a great copy cat as said and sport is a perfect example of that. I was invited to play in a sort of friendly tourney including 10 sports. Tennis, Table tennis, Squash, Mini-golf, Badminton, Bowling, Darts, Shootingrangethingiemajig, pool and air-hockey.
The only thing I had ever done before was Bowling and Mini-golf. Everything else was completely new, never held a raquet before. Yet I could just envision seeing how the pros had their stance, swing and how to aim. I would lose the first 4 or so balls in a sport before I adjusted it down to my own level but then I would generaly have an easy win on my hands. In the end I ended up in shared first place.
And one thing I'm actually quite proud and ashamed of at the same time is my highschool project. It was supposed to be a 1 year long project with proper documentation, I choose to draw manga as my project, since learning how to draw is something I always wanted to learn. Anyways, same thing there 3 months of guns blazing filling notebook after notebook with artwork. then 8 and 3/4 months of nothing. I was basicly fucked cause I only had the stuff I did in the begining to go with and no big artistic piece to show off my progress. So the last week I spent 60 hours on one picture. I had never drawn full bodies, never drawn backgrounds and shading and folds, hair ect was pretty much a few sketches from the start of the project. But by just sitting down with 400 pages of manga, alot of time and a pen I could provide a decent picture with shading, background and a fully developed character and in the end I got an A, even though I did not deserve it since I had been pretty much faking all the progress reports.
Since then I havn't been able to draw a thing. I can't even draw faces anymore something I was decent at, I burned out.
I actually put the drawing I made in my familys bank deposit thingie since I was so fucking proud of it.
I so desperatly want to be good at something, something I could put my heart into, but as soon as I find something to get excited about it just vanishes. I could be pump as hell about something only for the next day never touch it again.
But to be great at something you have to dream about it, dedicate your entire being to it and I can't and I hate it.
At first I just put it down to me being lazy, not wanting to be good at something because it takes to much effort. But the older I get the more I know that isn't it. When I'm burning I can muster ridiculous ammounts of dedication.
I'm 23, I'll never be the best at anything and it's killing me . Those that get the best are the ones that start when they are 3 and pour their heart and soul into it making it a dream. I envy them, because between the periods where my passions take me and make me commit and actually do anything, I'm just lost. As for now I have nothing that I burn for, nothing that makes me want to get up in the morning and get done, I've noticed that I've spent most of my evenings the last 6 months just beging the clock to reach a time where I can go to bed.
I wish I had a dream, I wish I could dedicate my life to something, or I wish I could be content just being a son, a father and a worker and have no desire to be the best.
 
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Most of us (like 95%) will never be THE BEST at anything, but pretty much all of us can be "decent" at anything we set our minds to. In the end it's all about what you enjoy...you don't really have to be the best. None of us are "the best" (meaning we are not pros) in starcraft, but we have fun and enjoy playing it, that's all that matters in the end.
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Yeah, me too. I get excited about something, like writing, and think I want to do it for the rest of my life but in a while my head will be empty and without any motivation. Then I want to be an sc2 pro, then I find out I hate the game. Interest just comes and goes. I think I'm just destined to a future of mediocrity.
You sound like you actually care about having to do something though.
How was your childhood? What was the wealth of your parents like?
Don't forget you don't have to be good at just one thing. Maybe you have a wide range of things you can excel at, but the broad range is keeping you down and behind others who just excel in one category. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polymath
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"Most people can't work hard, even at things they do enjoy, much less things they don't have a real passion for."
-Greg Fields
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On November 17 2011 07:14 Hynda wrote:
I'm 23, I'll never be the best at anything and it's killing me . Those that get the best are the ones that start when they are 3 and pour their heart and soul into it making it a dream.
That's a fiction, or more to the point it's an excuse. Nobody knows what they want when they're 3, and many highly talented people don't even know what they want when they're 23.
Pick something you like and throw yourself into it. If you find it isn't doing it for you, move on. Life is long and the idea that your best years are behind you when you're 25 is a falsehood that's oversold in our culture.
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Burned Toast
Canada2040 Posts
There is not always a BEST one in certain field... Think of writing for example, you don't aim to become the BEST writer in the world. You just become a writer by writing. That's what you should aim for: find something that makes you happy and just do it.
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if there were 7 billion things in the world where a level of skill or ability could be measured and all of them would be independent from each other, you would only have a 30% chance to be the best at one or more of them
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Find inspiration. Find someone you can look up to, that you admire, that you identify with, that you idol.
Consider taking on one or more characteristics of this person to add to your image. This can add motivation.
Try one thing you are interested in at a time. Make a commitment to try to get better at it over a period of one week. If you're not better at the end of the week, and you really did put a lot of effort into it, then try something else.
Edit: Do the "work" not to be the best, but to get better at the skill for your own personal enjoyment. This is key.
It can help to take some time off from life. Go without class or any career goals for a while. Relax and meditate. Spend an entire consecutive week outside as much as possible during the daylight hours.
Keep a dream journal. We often draw inspiration from our actual dreams, and these can turn into life goals.
I don't follow this process but I am always on the edge of starting. I'm afraid of commitment. Maybe you are too?
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On November 17 2011 07:38 Burned Toast wrote:
There is not always a BEST one in certain field... Think of writing for example, you don't aim to become the BEST writer in the world. You just become a writer by writing. That's what you should aim for: find something that makes you happy and just do it.
That is the problem, there are so many things that make me happy so I found something and I get super mega excited and I really go balls to the walls crazy doing this 1 thing. And the suddenly I just stop. Then I find something new and then boom vanished.
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On November 17 2011 08:05 hp.Shell wrote:
Find inspiration. Find someone you can look up to, that you admire, that you identify with, that you idol.
Consider taking on one or more characteristics of this person to add to your image. This can add motivation.
Try one thing you are interested in at a time. Make a commitment to try to get better at it over a period of one week. If you're not better at the end of the week, and you really did put a lot of effort into it, then try something else.
It can help to take some time off from life. Go without class or any career goals for a while. Relax and meditate. Spend an entire consecutive week outside as much as possible during the daylight hours.
Keep a dream journal. We often draw inspiration from our actual dreams, and these can turn into life goals.
I don't follow this process but I am always on the edge of starting. I'm afraid of commitment. Maybe you are too?
I'm like a 4 year old. Today I wanna be fireman, tomorrow an astronaut the day after that I want be an artist. I hoped to grew out of it by now.
I know how to put effort and dedication into things, but I just can't keep the fire burning.
PS: I still appricate the advice, even if the post didn't reflect that.
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being the best at something is overrated. Do things because you love doing them.
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Set a goal that is semi-impossible.
Become a Zerg that wins, or something in that line.
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You should watch Adaptation. That is all. I won't spoil it for you.
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Yeah that really sucks. I really want to be amazing at something out there, and I know I can, but I just don't have that ever-burning fire. I know I should have that passion, I want to have that passion, but I just cannot reach my goal until it's too late.
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A certain swordsman in his declining years said the following:
In one's life. there are levels in the pursuit of study. In the lowest level, a person studies but nothing comes of it, and
he feels that both he and others are unskillful. At this point he is worthless. In the middle level he is still useless but is
aware of his own insufficiencies and can also see the insufficiencies of others. In a higher level he has pride
concerning his own ability, rejoices in praise from others, and laments the lack of ability in his fellows. This man has
worth. In the highest level a man has the look of knowing nothing .
These are the levels in general;. But there is one transcending level, and this is the most excellent of all. This person is
aware of the endlessness of entering deeply into a certain Way arid never thinks of himself as having finished. He
truly knows his own insufficiencies and never in his whole life thinks that he has succeeded. He has no thoughts of
pride but with self-abasement knows the Way to the end. It is said that Master Yagyu once remarked, "I do not know
the way to defeat others, but the way to defeat myself. ''
Throughout your life advance daily, becoming more skillful than yesterday, more skillful than today. This is neverending.
- from Hagikure
There is no point trying to be the best just strive to better yourself. Remember that even if you do become the "best" it may not make you any happier.
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I had a dream today.
My girlfriend was a vampire I think (she had fangs) and she bit my lip and it was bleeding.
YOU DONT NEED A DREAM
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You're not alone.
Just do shit you like for now, don't worry about any specialty.
The main culprit is comfort.
We're renaissance men who live too comfortably. Leo and the boys had to work for their upkeep - patronage and shit.
We have to scribble down some bullshit on a test paper to get A's and stay in a comfortable life. They had to make massive pieces of immortal art just to scrape by. We have the new Library of Alexandria available free at our fingertips - they had all the good books locked up in the cellars of Lords, all written in Greek.
The step from where we're at now to where we could be if we applied ourselves is too short to be a challenge and therefore not stimulating enough to take.
Correct me if i'm wrong - but let's say i'm in a race, running. I run like hell and start feeling good. I catch up to the leader and pass. Keep running. After a while i look over my shoulder, see everyone far behind. Slow down considerably. Pretty much walk across the finish line. Coach is like "WTH that was a record time, why did you slow down, did you get tired?" I'm like "meh, who cares".
The abstract concept of "challenging oneself" is foreign to us. The golfers who seek 'a perfect round', the runners who polish their times by miliseconds. It's all cool. Really.
But if a friend comes up and says "hey look at my new high score at ________ " <-- THAT'S a challenge. That awakes our competitive spirit. And we crush the shit out of that motherfucking high score, even if that friend is a pro at what he/she does.
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So how does this apply to motivation? Well, what i've found is - you've got to constantly surround yourself with extremely smart people. If there isn't something extremely tangible to reach for, it's just not interesting enough to fully devote oneself to.
In practice: I've got a friend who knows a language i don't? Maybe we're both in the country where that language is spoken? You bet your ass i'll master that language. Remember that Rekrul blog where he talks about how Grrr owned shit up in Korean? Moti-fucking-vation.
Sooner or later we find our niche. And with the experiences we've accumulated - we carve out a place in the world for our niche.
I won't be at all surprised when in a few years you blog about "how it all started". By that time you'll be at the top of whatever field you've ended up in. If that's pro poker like Rek or top business like MightyAtom - that's up to you and circumstances. Whichever - you're not alone.
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Did I write this topic....? lol...... Seriously everything is the same for me.. its crazy.......
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rofl just saying you can't just pick up a sport and start doing it well. Never seen one in my life, although one person was close (at table tennis), there's 0 way you could have the same motions and movement like a competent player just by losing the first 4 or so balls.
I can't, no one can. Everyone looks awkward and clumsy during a new sport.
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EPT
