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No, but I've got a funny story on that. Most people in my life have kept calling me gay here and there for various reasons lol.
This one time, I had just moved in with a guy, but it was nothing sexual, just like mates sharing a place because it's cheaper, but the neighbors didn't believe that, and they started spreading lies all over the place. (In retrospect I think I might know why, they were an old couple, both pretty retarded, like an 8,0 on a scale from 1-10, and you're allowed to use comma).
They started to hate me when winter came, and this is why. A lot of snow started appearing everywhere, and this one time, her husband was sick, so she came to the apartment and asked if I could plow their snow. I said no, and then I closed the door. (Was pretty busy, owning it up in SC, so not much time to explain)
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A few minutes later she came back, she had gotten dressed and tried plowing it herself for 1 minute before giving up, and she once more told me to go out and plow. Now I realized she wasn't fucking with me, she really wanted me to plow the snow, but I started telling her the reason why I couldn't. I have just recently gotten a Frozen shoulder http://www.apexklinikken.no/frozenshoulder.php and the pain it gives me to use my right hand was almost unbearable, each night, several hours of pain, and the first few hours of the morning, sick painful. Even when I was playing Starcraft I had to struggle through it, because every click on the mouse felt very uncomfortable, whimpering sounds like "owfth, au, shit, ahh, crap, fk, shit, lol, au, eeh" kept coming more frequent than not.
And this crazy person was trying to get me to plow.
But she wasn't interested in listening to my story, she just kept getting more and more pissed, demanding me to go plow the fucking snow. When she just kept interrupting my story, I instead said, no, buzz off. And I closed the door again.
I smile, I feel happy, I'm in a good mood, not sure why, but it always seem to brighten my day when I run into these kinds of people. I go to the kitchen to make some food and I watch out my window, she notices me watching her, and she does the most terrible acting job I've ever seen, pretending to push the snow, and then falling over.
Now I smile even more, people are funny lol.
Anyway, I go back to eating food, and around 10 minutes later I get really startled, the crazy person was there, standing in the doorway of my room. She had bursted right in to our apartment without knocking, she was full of snow, snot all over her face, some goo hanging down her mouth and more pissy than ever.
She didn't say a word, just kept looking at me, I looked back for like 10 seconds, no words were spoken.
I broke the silence and said "what's up?"
She kept staring at me, like I was some douchebag, evil, handsome looking spoiled brat. (ok that last expression she probably wasn't capable of executing, but she was definitely looking at me).
Right around now I started to feel a little awkward, I shrug my shoulders and repeat "what?" once more, but still nothing.
I get annoyed, put on my headphones and tell her to get out when she's done watching me, and I queue up another game
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Now I think to myself, "phew, finally over". And I keep owning noobs on the ladder (Like Tasteless would say). Then 10 minutes later... Crazy old bitch screaming in the hall.
She's back, angrier then ever, almost crying, wanting me to plow the snow, rambling nonstop. Now I've got these mix of emotions, 1/3 excited, 1/3 annoyed, 1/3 frustrated. She won't ever understand that I can't physically plow the snow, wth do I do. So I try and talk louder than her, NO, I WON'T PLOW THE FUCKING SNOW. (Ok, I probably didn't use the word fucking, I don't swear a lot, just wanted to sound cool there). And she looks at me, like I just killed a kitten, and she starts backing up. She turns around and starts walking down the stairs (We live on the second floor, they live underneath). I walk toward the entrance door to close it shut, and this time lock it maybe, but once I get there, I notice she's about to slip. I try to blurt out "Hey... Watch it!!" But just as I reach my hand out, she falls, mostly because she's exhausted, angry, and her shoes full of snow, and it probably got real slippery.
She screams like a pregnant cow, tumbling down the stairs. I panic, I walk so I can get a better view, I watch her at the bottom of the stairs screaming and cursing. Sounds like she's blaming me.....
So I'm standing there, watching this, and I think.. Fuck it, and I close the door shut, lock it, and go back to owning noobs.
Okay, so, anyway, fast forward a few months....
It's morning, and my phone is ringing, it was my grandma, she lives around 2100km away and she seemed to be really upset about something. I didn't really get it, but I played along (I normally never really listen when people talk about mundane stuff anyway). She said she's always known, and that she still loved me, I thought I had missed a birthday or something crucial, so I felt it was a good idea to just play along in this case as well, replied with "ah thanks, you've always been my favourite grandma" and I didn't quite get why she seemed to be almost crying when she hung up.
Strange I thought, anyway, a few days later she called again, now she told me that my dad also loved me, and I said, oh great, that's awesome, and I hung up.
At this point I've not heard from my dad in weeks, and when he finally does decide to call (he never opens up nor gives me anything close to resembling an emotion or affection). But called just to tell me I was his son, and that would never change, I reply great, and I hang up, getting annoyed with all this trolling, or whatever it is they're doing.
Then around the third time or so my grandma calls, it dawns on me, they all think I'm a faggot lol. (Not that there's anything wrong with that). I burst out laughing, and tell her I'm not gay.
She almost bursts out singing, sounds like she too is about to have a heartattack, but a good one. She screams to my grandpa "Marius, Marius, he isn't a fag anymore, he's proper, he's not gay". Gets back to me, oh my looord, I have to call and tell everyone, I have to call and tell everybody. And she hangs up on me....
So that's about it, so as you guys can see, I'm clearly not gay, in fact, I'm quite manly, if I could say so myself!!
*Roarrr*
 
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But the woman was actually ok and didnt crack her neck or something?
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With all due respect, after reading this and your reddit thread, I have to assume that one of the following is true;
Either your life is a veritable emotional rollercoaster
or;
Your mind is riding a veritable emotional rollercoaster.
For those of you wondering which reddit thread; his redditor account is "mariuslol", Look for it in r/starcraft, or just look for the strangest story in r/starcraft.
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I'm just trying to figure out what veritable means, brb google xD
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being truly or very much so: a veritable triumph.
Obsolete. true, as a statement or tale.
You just mindfucked me, not sure what's going on lol, need break, bbl.
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Canada13389 Posts
These marius stories are hilarious.
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I love stories of rude, self-entitled old people getting owned. 5/5
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United States24743 Posts
This is like the second or third blog I've read in the last 12 hours where most of the problems could have been avoided if people just locked their doors instead of letting just anybody come inside.
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On November 05 2011 22:11 micronesia wrote:
This is like the second or third blog I've read in the last 12 hours where most of the problems could have been avoided if people just locked their doors instead of letting just anybody come inside.
This im really baffled how people seem to just have their places open to anyone, hell i keep my bedroom door locked in my flat to stop flatmates bursting in when i dont want them around :/
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On November 05 2011 21:59 Baeron wrote:
After you acted selfish by not plowing, but instead playing videogames (both of it causes you pain, so your argument is invalid)
How are you still alive?
I ask because i find it hard to believe that someone incapable of understanding that shoveling snow is many times more strenuous to the shoulder than moving your fingers really fast, has been able to stay out of traffic this long.
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On November 05 2011 21:59 Baeron wrote:
So lets summarize.
You didn't help some old neighbours of yours plow the snow because you are playing starcraft and you have a injured shoulder.
Would be reasonable if you wouldn't have written, that it also causes pain for you to play starcraft.
After you acted selfish by not plowing, but instead playing videogames (both of it causes you pain, so your argument is invalid), your old neighbour falls down the stairs. You're reaction is to shut the door and don't give a fuck about some old and maybe injured person on the housefloor.
I don't want to live next to you bro...
Playing video games and ploughing snow have totally different magnitudes of strenuousness. His injury makes it physically impossible to perform activities such as ploughing snow, but allows him to perform light activities such as moving a mouse. Nothing invalid about that argument. Furthermore, his injury might get aggravated if he tried to exert a lot of strength. Besides, Wikipedia says "To prevent the problem, a common recommendation is to keep the shoulder joint fully moving to prevent a frozen shoulder." Playing SC might actually prevent it from developing into a full blown condition.
Also, since the old woman was screaming and cursing at him, did she really seem like she wanted him to help him up? Given the circumstances, and with the knowledge that the old woman was self-centered and manipulative (acting like she falls when OP is watching), closing the door and ignoring her would be one of the best options.
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On November 05 2011 22:11 micronesia wrote:
This is like the second or third blog I've read in the last 12 hours where most of the problems could have been avoided if people just locked their doors instead of letting just anybody come inside.
Yeah... is not locking your door or having random people just walk in common in Norway or something? My reaction to a neighbor walking unannounced (especially one who didn't like me!) into my home would be completely different than, "Ok, when you're finished creeping on me please leave".
On another note, Frozen Shoulder sounds incredibly painful, that really sucks that you have it. I remember when I played football in High School I tore my rotator cuff and labrum, and that was some of the worst pain I've ever experienced. Shoulder injuries suck 
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On November 05 2011 22:41 MLG_Wiggin wrote:Show nested quote +On November 05 2011 22:11 micronesia wrote:
This is like the second or third blog I've read in the last 12 hours where most of the problems could have been avoided if people just locked their doors instead of letting just anybody come inside. Yeah... is not locking your door or having random people just walk in common in Norway or something? My reaction to a neighbor walking unannounced (especially one who didn't like me!) into my home would be completely different than, "Ok, when you're finished creeping on me please leave". On another note, Frozen Shoulder sounds incredibly painful, that really sucks that you have it. I remember when I played football in High School I tore my rotator cuff and labrum, and that was some of the worst pain I've ever experienced. Shoulder injuries suck
Here's the problem though: if everybody locked their doors, we wouldn't have all these interesting and hysterical stories. 5/5-- super funny!
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On November 05 2011 22:11 micronesia wrote:
This is like the second or third blog I've read in the last 12 hours where most of the problems could have been avoided if people just locked their doors instead of letting just anybody come inside.
.... lol, I just ran and locked my door
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On November 05 2011 22:47 mbr2321 wrote:Show nested quote +On November 05 2011 22:41 MLG_Wiggin wrote:On November 05 2011 22:11 micronesia wrote:
This is like the second or third blog I've read in the last 12 hours where most of the problems could have been avoided if people just locked their doors instead of letting just anybody come inside. Yeah... is not locking your door or having random people just walk in common in Norway or something? My reaction to a neighbor walking unannounced (especially one who didn't like me!) into my home would be completely different than, "Ok, when you're finished creeping on me please leave". On another note, Frozen Shoulder sounds incredibly painful, that really sucks that you have it. I remember when I played football in High School I tore my rotator cuff and labrum, and that was some of the worst pain I've ever experienced. Shoulder injuries suck Here's the problem though: if everybody locked their doors, we wouldn't have all these interesting and hysterical stories. 5/5-- super funny!
Haha, well you've got me there.
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On November 05 2011 22:41 MLG_Wiggin wrote:Show nested quote +On November 05 2011 22:11 micronesia wrote:
This is like the second or third blog I've read in the last 12 hours where most of the problems could have been avoided if people just locked their doors instead of letting just anybody come inside. Yeah... is not locking your door or having random people just walk in common in Norway or something? My reaction to a neighbor walking unannounced (especially one who didn't like me!) into my home would be completely different than, "Ok, when you're finished creeping on me please leave". On another note, Frozen Shoulder sounds incredibly painful, that really sucks that you have it. I remember when I played football in High School I tore my rotator cuff and labrum, and that was some of the worst pain I've ever experienced. Shoulder injuries suck
This. And the question also stands for the penultimate post you made. I actually am curious about the answer to this, because I would NOT let random people barge into my house without shoving them back outside again and making sure both lock and chain are in place.
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On November 05 2011 21:59 Baeron wrote:
Would be reasonable if you wouldn't have written, that it also causes pain for you to play starcraft.
I put a link to a description of how severe it is. For a period of 4-5 months I was using my left arm for everything, which you have to do with a frozen shoulder. More weight or pressure than just few ounches is really painful.
So what's endurable was light taps with my finger, and even that caused some soft pains. But it's starcraft, if you've got a passion, you go through even in the rough patches as well.
And to the old woman, she had it coming, she's been a dick for quite some time before this too. This one time she kicked my bag of groceries because I previously had refused to eat some sweet buscuits she had offered me. I told her graciously, thanks, but I'm fructose intolerant, and I get sick if I get sugar. But she thought I was fucking with her.
And my intuition had picked up on the raging footsteps of her even crazier husband rushing to see what's going on, although I wasn't aware of it at the time, and the closing of the door was a reflex. I felt he was rushing to her aid anyway.
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The screaming of a pregnant cow seems hellish, although I've never heard one.
And people are seriously considering sitting behind a locked door? I'll no sooner do that then when I've killed someone and someone else has found out.
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On November 05 2011 23:45 nepeta wrote:
The screaming of a pregnant cow seems hellish, although I've never heard one.
And people are seriously considering sitting behind a locked door? I'll no sooner do that then when I've killed someone and someone else has found out.
It's not a matter of hiding behind a door, I just think people (myself included) find it strange that the door to your house would just be unlocked. You know, so people can't just walk in and rob you or stare at you while you play Starcraft. Maybe it's just a cultural difference, I don't know.
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On November 05 2011 23:45 nepeta wrote:
And people are seriously considering sitting behind a locked door? I'll no sooner do that then when I've killed someone and someone else has found out.
lol. thats cute
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LOL those are some crazy neighbours you've got there.
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Personally I don't really lock my door except for when I'm gone and the house is empty or overnight, don't really see the point of it outside of that. If people come inside they usually have a good reason for it and most just ring the doorbell as is normal, regardless of whether the door is locked or even shut.
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what the hell does your neighbor story have to do with you not being gay?
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To use veritable earlier is just a way of emphasising the metaphor.
And lol story.
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On November 05 2011 21:59 Baeron wrote:
So lets summarize.
You didn't help some old neighbours of yours plow the snow because you are playing starcraft and you have a injured shoulder.
Would be reasonable if you wouldn't have written, that it also causes pain for you to play starcraft.
After you acted selfish by not plowing, but instead playing videogames (both of it causes you pain, so your argument is invalid), your old neighbour falls down the stairs. You're reaction is to shut the door and don't give a fuck about some old and maybe injured person on the housefloor.
I don't want to live next to you bro...
I don't like living next to people who think its their right to make me clear their snow. And think its fine to lie to my realtives about me.
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On November 06 2011 01:56 skYfiVe wrote:
what the hell does your neighbor story have to do with you not being gay?
I'm not 100% sure, but I felt it was relevant.
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LOL i burst out laughing when your response to the old lady falling down the stairs was to shut the door and queue up another game
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On November 06 2011 03:25 Pengu1n wrote:
LOL i burst out laughing when your response to the old lady falling down the stairs was to shut the door and queue up another game
Yeah, i honestly cant believe he didnt kick her a few times while shes down to make sure she stays down
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On November 06 2011 03:25 Pengu1n wrote:
LOL i burst out laughing when your response to the old lady falling down the stairs was to shut the door and queue up another game
I got the impression she was acting like I pushed her.
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I fucking love you....no homo?
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I keep my door closed and locked most of the time but since i live in a remote area where the nearest neighbor is about two tenths of a mile from me so almost never have neighbor isusses I don't have to worry about it. But what i like to do is leave a side door open so if i don't have keys with me or i need to get in i can go the back way.
Funny story though LOL
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EPT
