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Apparantly it's stupid to write really long thought out replies in a comment, where people would miss it. So some mates have been plugging it in to fill out the story in the other threads, and says I should just post it in the blog if it's a long one. So here's another one. Last one of the night, I'm really knackered and have been writing or posting replies last 8 hours or so.
Gramatik
You'll probably get downvoted by Republicanfags and Amerifags for evading military service but I upvoted you for it.
Mariuslol[S]
That's the funny thing, I kinda liked the army, and I didn't want to "get away" from it, I just wanted to play Starcraft more.
But I stayed there the whole year and then some, I just took train home every weekend so I could play Starcraft, but this one holliday, it was craving more than usual, so I thought, if I could aquire an injury, like, by running into a wall, they'd let me stay home for a few more weeks.
[–]Mariuslol[S] 1 poeng 26 minutter siden
That reminds me... I shouldn't really open this "Pandora's box", but fk it, here we go!
But the strangest thing happened when I went in the military, it was like I had all this pent up "adrenaline" from playing Starcraft that really needed an outlet, somewhere, or I would burst.
So I started pulling these small pranks, nothing serious or evil, at least not at the start. Like stealing a few bags of coffee and making smileys and stick figures at everyone's bed while they were all out of their barracks. Taping the door shut when a guy's taking a shit, so forth, small stuff.
After a few weeks of these pranks I had to up it a little, I remember having a lot of fun with Nutella, when people in my troop was sleeping I'd sneak into their room. (We had rooms of 4, four people in each room), and I'd smear it at the bottom of their bed, on top of their feet. Then I'd sneak out all cat like, make some noise and run to my bed as fast as I could and wait for the entertainment to start.
Hilarious hearing a raging lunatic screaming at the top of his lung at night "WHO THE FUCK SMEARED SHIT ON ME, WHO THA FUUUUCK, I'M GONNA KILL SOMEBODY!!"
And this is the funny part, I'm the first guy out of my room, pretend to be sick groggy, tired and confused, like I'm coming out to see wtf is going on. "What the hell is going on??"
Raging Lunatic: SHIT, ALL OVER ME, SOMEONE SMEARED SHIT ON ME
Me: Wtf, you have crap on you, that's not cool
Raging Lunatic: I'm gonna fucking kill him
Me: I open the door to my room, wake my room mates, guys, seriously, wtf, someone just smeared shit on xxxxx, if any of you guys did it, this ain't funny, seriously.
He then proceeds to ignore me and start opening every door, screaming and cussing. I run to my bed wiggling and smiling, hard to control the excitement, but it was awesome.
So after a few weeks of pranks around this level. (Burrowing the Major of the camp's car in the snow, camouflaging my Lieutenant's car, taking my AG3 home to show my dad so forth). Oh yeah, my dad got really angry, but then again he'd been angry at me a lot of times. (This one time I made a signature campaign against my dad, and had most of the people in the small town I live in sign it, nearly 3000 signatures). Anyway, I digress. Where was I....
It just felt natural to keep thinking of more creative, and "bigger" pranks. In my head I was going "motto motto".
So this one time I got punished, (I got punished a lot over there tbh, most were really unfair and unjust. Like if you do something bad, you get a refs, then you get a fine and you're not allowed to go home for x amount of weeks, and they call you up in the morning when you're all standing in the front yard, like 300 + people, the Major comes, he yells your name, you then have to go up in front of everyone and he scolds you).
Anyway, I got more "refs" than the rest of the lair combined, 13 or was it 14, I can't quite remember, but most were for silly stuff. Like the AG3 home, they got real mad, and I once hang it out to dry a flag pole. (Had just washed it in oil the day before, was getting it ready for inspection, just had it there to dry). And a few others.
So yeah, I was getting punshied, I had to wash this warehouse, but as I was scrubbing the floors I found these amazing thingys. They were big plastic bags with white rubber bands, there were hundreds of them. I looked at them, and my eyes went ÔÔ.....
I got an idea...
When I got back to my room I had my room mates help me, because they knew I did a lot of pranks and they thought it was awesome, they were always curious, but not a lot of people knew that most of the "weird" stuff happening in camp was coming from me, I liked it that way, things are much more funny anyway if you do it for your own amusement I think.
So what we were doing was cutting up the bands, then tying them together, we did this for hours and hours. So in the end I had this massive, massive pile of a long rubber band, maybe a few hundred yards long.
I "lie" to them and say I'm done for today, but I'm not really, hehe. I get up at night and I work for hours, literally hours. What I did was tie the rubber bands to any surface or hook it would get stuck on, so I started in one end of the Barrack, and worked my way through our hall which had all the guys in my troop, then down to the cellar, then up in the 2nd floor. On the way there I've now successfully made a maze of Rubber bands, hitting door knobs, places to hang your jacket, in through the shower, washing room, so it looked like a gigantic spider web.
So now all I had to do was go to bed and let the fun start the very next day xD
I woke up to the alarm, was really awesome, it was chaos and action, all the "guys" had a big smile and smirk on their face, my room mates were bedaffled, and the Sergeants, Fenrik's and Lieutenants looked fucking pissed. (Which made it even more awesome).
The "unclogging" and the visit to the Auditorium, speech of the Major, and the "investigation" took half the day, if not more, so this was an amazing day for me, filled with more fun and awesomeness than anyone could ever hope for.
They first wanted to punish all of us, until the "perpetrator" would come forth. (I lolled). So they made us do push ups, at the time I weighed 59kg, and if it was one thing I could do, it was take push ups lol. So this just made it more fun lol. (Sorry for excessive use of lols).
Oh, ok crap, look at the time, sorry I can't continue this story any longer, even though this is just a fragment of my Military time, I might continue it some other time if people are interested =]
Chooo Choo
ps, So much "fun" today, from these posts, and then my dad came earlier this evening, asking me what this rape thingy was. My brother linked it to him on facebook in a pm, he read it lol. So he got worried and hurried over lol.
pps, he works at the local newspaper, and he's got a high position, he also told me he'd have some writers look at my stuff lol, and then give me feedback. That sounded cool, not sure why xD but it did.
  
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I thought I was going to have to be sympathetic towards you.
Instead, this is just you bragging about your pranks (which sound pretty clever).
Good job, but you obviously get whatever's coming to you.
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Maybe need to point out, this is a story from actions done 10 years ago, when I was in the army.
I did feel even then I had a strong moral compass, like, no rape, no abuse, no malicious evil intentions. But anything other than that goes. It wasn't all set in stone yet, I've sat in playing Starcraft 24/7 5 years straight before being sent to the army.
I had a lot of "catching up to do".
But i'm tired, gn
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Amerifags? Was that necessary?
Well, it appears the Norwegian mlitary does a good job of teaching its soldiers discipline.....
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This isn't anything personal but I had to deal with some complete and total jackasses during my army time but no one came anywhere near close to you, congrats. I just don't see the fun in fucking around and dragging rest of the crew down with you and not being man enough to actually take the blame for your own actions.
Sounds like you were in some pretty carefree platoon though based on managing to smuggle your firearm home(wtf?) etc. Or is that common in Norways army?
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On November 05 2011 12:38 Vaelone wrote:
This isn't anything personal but I had to deal with some complete and total jackasses during my army time but no one came anywhere near close to you, congrats. I just don't see the fun in fucking around and dragging rest of the crew down with you and not being man enough to actually take the blame for your own actions.
Sounds like you were in some pretty carefree platoon though based on managing to smuggle your firearm home(wtf?) etc. Or is that common in Norways army?
Some people take life too seriously. He didn't join the army to be a man and take blame, he obviously joined to fuck around and prank people.
Its a common misconception of 'not being mature enough' or 'not being man enough' to go with the flow. Fuck that, do whatever you want. The ultimate goal in life is to be happy. Everything else is meaningless.
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On November 05 2011 12:25 ImDrizzt wrote:
Maybe need to point out, this is a story from actions done 10 years ago, when I was in the army.
I did feel even then I had a strong moral compass, like, no rape, no abuse, no malicious evil intentions. But anything other than that goes. It wasn't all set in stone yet, I've sat in playing Starcraft 24/7 5 years straight before being sent to the army.
I had a lot of "catching up to do".
But i'm tired, gn
no rape! very strong moral compass right there 
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On November 05 2011 12:37 JudicatorHammurabi wrote:
Amerifags? Was that necessary?
Well, it appears the Norwegian mlitary does a good job of teaching its soldiers discipline.....
It wasn't necessary, but it was good and harmless too
Also, having friends in the US military showed to me that you fine folks don't "teach" discipline that well either. How dare those supposedly orderly people say slightly "offensive" things online! Aren't they robots now?
My friend is an officer and he makes more immature jokes than an annoying 13 year old.
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Some people take life too seriously. He didn't join the army to be a man and take blame, he obviously joined to fuck around and prank people.
Its a common misconception of 'not being mature enough' or 'not being man enough' to go with the flow. Fuck that, do whatever you want. The ultimate goal in life is to be happy. Everything else is meaningless.
I was sure a reply like that was going to pop up, anyway I still think and hope that people who try to make other peoples lives a living hell for sake of their own little amusement get fucked over at some point of their lives.
I just had to deal with a lot of unnecessary shit in army due to being grouped with some useless human beings, pretty much doubled my burden at times. I guess I should have just taken a lax attitude towards it like they did but that isn't in my nature.
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On November 05 2011 12:44 SpoR wrote:Show nested quote +On November 05 2011 12:38 Vaelone wrote:
This isn't anything personal but I had to deal with some complete and total jackasses during my army time but no one came anywhere near close to you, congrats. I just don't see the fun in fucking around and dragging rest of the crew down with you and not being man enough to actually take the blame for your own actions.
Sounds like you were in some pretty carefree platoon though based on managing to smuggle your firearm home(wtf?) etc. Or is that common in Norways army? Some people take life too seriously. He didn't join the army to be a man and take blame, he obviously joined to fuck around and prank people. Its a common misconception of 'not being mature enough' or 'not being man enough' to go with the flow. Fuck that, do whatever you want. The ultimate goal in life is to be happy. Everything else is meaningless.
I love you. At least your opinion on this.
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On November 05 2011 13:40 Snaiil wrote:Show nested quote +On November 05 2011 12:44 SpoR wrote:On November 05 2011 12:38 Vaelone wrote:
This isn't anything personal but I had to deal with some complete and total jackasses during my army time but no one came anywhere near close to you, congrats. I just don't see the fun in fucking around and dragging rest of the crew down with you and not being man enough to actually take the blame for your own actions.
Sounds like you were in some pretty carefree platoon though based on managing to smuggle your firearm home(wtf?) etc. Or is that common in Norways army? Some people take life too seriously. He didn't join the army to be a man and take blame, he obviously joined to fuck around and prank people. Its a common misconception of 'not being mature enough' or 'not being man enough' to go with the flow. Fuck that, do whatever you want. The ultimate goal in life is to be happy. Everything else is meaningless. I love you. At least your opinion on this.
In the same spirit... (I can't find the comic)
What is said: WHY DON'T YOU GET A REAL JOB
What is meant: YOU SHOULD BE JUST AS UNHAPPY AS I AM
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On November 05 2011 12:45 nttea wrote:Show nested quote +On November 05 2011 12:25 ImDrizzt wrote:
Maybe need to point out, this is a story from actions done 10 years ago, when I was in the army.
I did feel even then I had a strong moral compass, like, no rape, no abuse, no malicious evil intentions. But anything other than that goes. It wasn't all set in stone yet, I've sat in playing Starcraft 24/7 5 years straight before being sent to the army.
I had a lot of "catching up to do".
But i'm tired, gn no rape! very strong moral compass right there
Well, it is a prohibition from a natural tendency and evolutionary strategy, definitely very moral of him to impose that upon himself. 
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I wouldn't go around pranking people like that personally, but if that's what floats some peoples boat then I could care less. Mostly I just agree with this:
On November 05 2011 12:44 SpoR wrote:Show nested quote +On November 05 2011 12:38 Vaelone wrote:
This isn't anything personal but I had to deal with some complete and total jackasses during my army time but no one came anywhere near close to you, congrats. I just don't see the fun in fucking around and dragging rest of the crew down with you and not being man enough to actually take the blame for your own actions.
Sounds like you were in some pretty carefree platoon though based on managing to smuggle your firearm home(wtf?) etc. Or is that common in Norways army? Some people take life too seriously. He didn't join the army to be a man and take blame, he obviously joined to fuck around and prank people. Its a common misconception of 'not being mature enough' or 'not being man enough' to go with the flow. Fuck that, do whatever you want. The ultimate goal in life is to be happy. Everything else is meaningless.
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On November 05 2011 12:38 Vaelone wrote:
This isn't anything personal but I had to deal with some complete and total jackasses during my army time but no one came anywhere near close to you, congrats. I just don't see the fun in fucking around and dragging rest of the crew down with you and not being man enough to actually take the blame for your own actions.
Sounds like you were in some pretty carefree platoon though based on managing to smuggle your firearm home(wtf?) etc. Or is that common in Norways army?
Ah, it wasn't smuggling, I didn't know you couldn't take it home, and I just took it home to have my dad help me wash it, he always bragged about how good he was with weapons. But when he saw I had the weapon with me home he got really mad. (Since it's illegal).
And when I came back to the camp, I didn't need to tell them I had it with me, I did it anyway, I'm awfully truthful at times, even if it comes back to hurt me.
I think it went a little something like this. I came at the gate, it was late, I was with 3-4 mates, and they asked us if we had anything "illegal" or they should clear in our bags.
Everyone said no, and when they looked at me, I said "mm, well yeah maybe. Just my AG3".
And everyone burst out laughing, I shrugged. Looked at me mates "Not sure why everyone's laughing lol, I really have my gun with me lol".
We start walking to our Barracks, and the guy at the gate is still laughing. And he hears one of my mates "LOL, you really aren't that stupid, you really have it in your bag". I lift it up, yea, feel here, you see.
Then I hear a strict roaring voice behind me "HEY YOU, GET BACK HERE".
And that's how they "caught me".
Wouldn't do it if I thought it was illegal, and it never crossed my mind bring ammo or use or do anything malicious with it. (I was just such a big noob cleaning it, spent x4 as long as the other people). Figured It'd be +EV bringing it home and use some oils in my dad's garage, maybe "trick" him into cleaning it for me.
And to your last post, I defintly didn't drag the rest of my crew down. My troop, more specificly my team scored the highest that's ever been scored in Bodin Lair in Norway, with over a 98%. When it comes down to it, we go on a 14 day trip, I'm the kind of person a team, troop needs, because my spirit never gets broken, I don't cry, get sad, depressed or solemn. I give +5 spirit and +5 Morale to everyone within 45 yard radius. Even my lutenant, when he gave me the sheet of paper you get when you're done in the army said, everything on it scored terrible, but the part that described me as a person, and in a team, kindest words he's ever written.
Wrote my mood was infectious, like it spread to everyone around me, made people cheerful and cooperative. The small pranks just helps liven the mood, besides, we shouldn't be killing eachother anyway. And the "grudge" against my Major, that's well justified, he deserved respect day 1, before having earned it, scolding people if they didn't go stiff as a pole and saluted him without even knowing him. He was the kind of person even Day9 wouldn't like.
Yeap
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On November 05 2011 12:52 Djzapz wrote:Show nested quote +On November 05 2011 12:37 JudicatorHammurabi wrote:
Amerifags? Was that necessary?
Well, it appears the Norwegian mlitary does a good job of teaching its soldiers discipline..... It wasn't necessary, but it was good and harmless too Also, having friends in the US military showed to me that you fine folks don't "teach" discipline that well either. How dare those supposedly orderly people say slightly "offensive" things online! Aren't they robots now? My friend is an officer and he makes more immature jokes than an annoying 13 year old.
Don't want to bash on "Americans". Even though a lot of Europeans just go "rofl americunts stupid". I like to think, that some of the most creative, amazing and most intelligent people come from over there. Just that all the stupid, religious, low iq people making the rest of them look really bad.
I was on several exercises where we had to "compete" with Americans, they get flown in. It was never a contest, it was as if we were on hidden camera or something.
This one troop, they had travelled through deep snow without skii's, using x6 as long as they should have. We thought for sure they were fucking with us.
Then they make camp between two mountain sides. We're just looking at eachother with our "gusta" faces. (Even though gusta didn't exist back then). Wth....
(Making a camp there during winter, it will get x3 as cold).
Around day 2 or 3, they had to abort and get picked off in scooters....
While we in our camp were running around throwing snowballs at eachother, telling stories via the com what the americans were doing, rolling in fits.
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ALLEYCAT BLUES51295 Posts
On November 05 2011 14:48 Djzapz wrote:Show nested quote +On November 05 2011 13:40 Snaiil wrote:On November 05 2011 12:44 SpoR wrote:On November 05 2011 12:38 Vaelone wrote:
This isn't anything personal but I had to deal with some complete and total jackasses during my army time but no one came anywhere near close to you, congrats. I just don't see the fun in fucking around and dragging rest of the crew down with you and not being man enough to actually take the blame for your own actions.
Sounds like you were in some pretty carefree platoon though based on managing to smuggle your firearm home(wtf?) etc. Or is that common in Norways army? Some people take life too seriously. He didn't join the army to be a man and take blame, he obviously joined to fuck around and prank people. Its a common misconception of 'not being mature enough' or 'not being man enough' to go with the flow. Fuck that, do whatever you want. The ultimate goal in life is to be happy. Everything else is meaningless. I love you. At least your opinion on this. In the same spirit... (I can't find the comic) What is said: WHY DON'T YOU GET A REAL JOB What is meant: YOU SHOULD BE JUST AS UNHAPPY AS I AM
lol SMBC.
classic.
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This will be very hard to try and explain with words, but I'll give it my best shot. I never seen to do anything, no pranks, no making fun of peopel first time, or off the bat.
But after a littlewhile, it's like a "see" or "feel" the bar, and almost everyone will think it's "fun" or cool, without being a "jackass" as long as you don't go over someone's personal bar, but anything under it, or up close to it, that goes and is cool.
So maybe, perhaps sometimes, you're unlucky and you go over the bar, but then you repent, feel bad, and you either apologize or learn from it.
I think I once read that 7% of communication is the words, 55% body language, 30% is pitch, settings, small stuff like that. So the "negative" comments I feel were "read" in their inne voice, or a serious voice, or the voice of their strict dad. And pretty reasonable that they are more "grrr".
But I assure you, I was smiling, almost clapping my hands an wiggling when writing it. Not sombe, overly serious, sincere and moody.
Yeap
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On November 05 2011 12:52 Djzapz wrote:Show nested quote +On November 05 2011 12:37 JudicatorHammurabi wrote:
Amerifags? Was that necessary?
Well, it appears the Norwegian mlitary does a good job of teaching its soldiers discipline..... It wasn't necessary, but it was good and harmless too Also, having friends in the US military showed to me that you fine folks don't "teach" discipline that well either. How dare those supposedly orderly people say slightly "offensive" things online! Aren't they robots now? My friend is an officer and he makes more immature jokes than an annoying 13 year old.
No shit. I've even known Marines who are dumb and immature as shit (kind of cowardly too). But we weren't talking about American military, so I don't know why you bring that up. I mean, your whole comment was irrelevant except for more country bashing. lol. You don't see me bringing up the Canadian military (rofl) out of the blue.
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On November 06 2011 04:52 JudicatorHammurabi wrote:Show nested quote +On November 05 2011 12:52 Djzapz wrote:On November 05 2011 12:37 JudicatorHammurabi wrote:
Amerifags? Was that necessary?
Well, it appears the Norwegian mlitary does a good job of teaching its soldiers discipline..... It wasn't necessary, but it was good and harmless too Also, having friends in the US military showed to me that you fine folks don't "teach" discipline that well either. How dare those supposedly orderly people say slightly "offensive" things online! Aren't they robots now? My friend is an officer and he makes more immature jokes than an annoying 13 year old. No shit. I've even known Marines who are dumb and immature as shit (kind of cowardly too). But we weren't talking about American military, so I don't know why you bring that up. I mean, your whole comment was irrelevant except for more country bashing. lol. You don't see me bringing up the Canadian military (rofl) out of the blue.
You were talking about the Norwegian military's "inability" to teach its soldiers discipline based on this guy's post, which is pretty silly. I brought up the US military to point out that your country (I assume the US is your country) isn't much better in that department. Hell, I can think of much worse examples. (Ones that caused deaths for instance.)
As for you making fun of the Canadian military, that's kind of "bringing it up out of the blue" from your standards...
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On November 05 2011 12:52 Djzapz wrote:Show nested quote +On November 05 2011 12:37 JudicatorHammurabi wrote:
Amerifags? Was that necessary?
Well, it appears the Norwegian mlitary does a good job of teaching its soldiers discipline..... It wasn't necessary, but it was good and harmless too Also, having friends in the US military showed to me that you fine folks don't "teach" discipline that well either. How dare those supposedly orderly people say slightly "offensive" things online! Aren't they robots now? My friend is an officer and he makes more immature jokes than an annoying 13 year old.
this is totally true! How else do you make it through basic training though? without those jokes I would have lost ALL my hair from stress.
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A dear friend of mine went through the roughes training we have in Norway, and he became a "Marinejeger". I think that's what we call it. So he used to tell me stories all the time of what happened, what they had to go through. And It'd often be a lot of cool stuff along the lines of this.
The best trained guys, people being elite level in sports, boxing, rowing, taking medals in the olympic etc, a lot of those would be "super" and sick strong the first 3-4 days, after that they would be the first ones to break, cry, give up and go home.
During endurance tests, it would be the hardest for the people with the least, but after everyone got pushed to their limit and beyond, it just went on mood and willpower, then it shifted completly.
They first had to stand in a line, then give away all their belongings, sign some papers, and then helicopters came and flew them off. After that they got transported to an Island, there they all had to strip naked, then they were checked for "hiding" stuff in cracks and whatnot.
After that, a new set of clothes, and the best meal you can imagine, and warm beds.
In the middle of the night it starts, the two months of "hell". Alarm goes off, they all have to get up, get taken to the sea, and thrown in the sea, there they had to complete some test, swim down and through a ring at night.
Every day the first week would be a new test desgined to break out, and around 200 people is trying to trim down to 20 or so.
The last weeks of the training, they get put out in a large forest/mountain area, and they have to survive for a few weeks, crazy stories about finding cows, hugging then at night to keep warm, eating berries, stealing pie's from farms and whatnot lol.
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