Potatostarcraft is going down

but we await the PUNISHMENT

First of all, let me apologize for making this apology.

Now that that's over with, to the apology.

I apologize that you're fat.

I apologize for being bronze/practice/copper league.

I apologize that your hair is short.

I apologize that you're still a noob, regardless of the grudgematch results.

I apologize for global warming.

I apologize that you couldn't handle a base in your base, so in your panic you attacked your own probes under the pretense that you wanted to free up supply for your mothership.

I apologize for being better than you at StarCraft II: Wings of Liberty.

I apologize for you spawning on the burning side of Dual Sight.

I apologize for your slow APM.

I apologize for my APM being even slower than yours.

I apologize for South Korea being the best country for StarCraft.

I apologize for North Korea being Best Korea.

I apologize for mashed potatoes.

I apologize for unmashed potoatoes.

I apologize that once upon a time, there was a boy named Phillip. Phillip enjoyed archery, calligraphy, martial arts, and exercise. One day, Phillip decided to walk into the woods to practice his thousand-fist forms in the woods. Little did he know, however, that his life was going to change because of that decision.

I apologize for cutting the story short.

I apologize for cutting the story.

I apologize for cutting the.

I apologize for cutting.

I apologize for.

I apologize.

I.

I am.

I am better.

I am better than.

I am better than you.

Come to think of it, I apologize for not apologizing.

This is still an apology note, however. But the thing is, Phillip didn't view the vines that way. To him, they looked like soft arms embracing the tree in a cold embrace. The vines in the light, however, looked silver and metallic, and smooth and cold to the touch. He reached around the tree as far as he could and felt a switch. He recoiled but as he pulled back, the switch flipped on and the whole forest lit up.

Phillip apologizes for hitting the switch.

Inadvertently.

I apologize for Phillip apologizing for hitting the switch.

I apologize because Phillip thinks that I'm better than you.

I apologize because Phillip knows that I'm better than you.

I apologize because it's true.

I apologize because I am better than you.

I apologize because I can't write a better apology via way of apologizing like Milkis.

I apologize that I'm not Milkis.

Actually, no I don't.

I apologize for Milkis though.

I apologize that Milkis isn't Grandmaster.

I apologize that Milkis isn't Grandmaster yet.

I apologize that Milkis will never be Jaedong.

I apologize that Milkis isn't Reach.

I apologize that Milkis isn't Hiya.

I apologize that Milkis isn't Zergbong.

Or Bisu.

Or Yellow.

Or Savior.

Or any player that's actually good at StarCraft: Brood War or Wings of Liberty

I apologize that you're not Korean.

I apologize that you're not GM.

I apologize that you're BM.

Again, actually, no I don't.

But Phillip, with his arms sore, knees skinned, shoulders bleeding, saw the exit. He threw another stick at the light, but it wouldn't reach. His pockets were already empty and his hands wouldn't move. He took a step forward.

I apologize for Phillip taking a step forward.

I apologize for Phillip taking a step.

But he's not fat like you.

So why am I apologizing?

I apologize for apologizing for Phillip.

Phillip needs no apology.

Phillip needs no introduction.

Phillip is watching you.

Waiting.

I apologize for Herman Cain quoting Pokemon.

Actually, again, never mind.

That was pretty boss.

I apologize for Occupy Wall Street.

How was I supposed to know that because of that one kid that I accidentally nudged in the lunchroom, there would be an uprising of the middle class?

Karl Marx once said,

“I apologize for Phillip, for he is kind. He is a benevolent soul, and thus he is flawed.”

I apologize for Oprah.

Even though there's nothing wrong with her.

She still deserves someone to apologize for her.

I apologize for Snape killing Ron Weasley.

I apologize for Hermione killing Dumbledore.

I apologize for you not being that gullible.

Because right about now,

you should realize

that I'm

not

really

green.

But I'm sure you've noticed that by now, and for that, I apologize.

I apologize that...

hmm....

I apologize because the sky is blue.

I apologize for being so close

to

seven hundred

and

fifty one

words

but I

can't.

There.