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Since TL.net is primarily male dominated, I figured this would be the best place to ask for advice.
Warning: this is mostly me ranting about my ex and why I continue to date gamers (I love them, what can I say?).
I currently live with someone. Our situation at the moment consists of my life being consumed with work, school, random events… his consists of nothing except League of Legends. He’s my “roommate” for all intents and purposes. When we started dating, I knew I was going in a different direction with him. I was taking a huge chance. We constantly feared our living situation would be destroyed if we ever broke up. Well, guess what? The word destroyed doesn’t even begin to touch what has happened.
He graduated recently with a degree in – wait for it – game design. He’s never had a job. His parents pay for everything, EVERYTHING. I never see him, and we live in the same house. I’m involved in work/school so often (and he stays up all night/sleeps all day) that I literally go days without seeing him sometimes, due to the opposite sleeping schedules. When we are awake and both at home, he‘s playing LoL. It’s pathetic! I guess he was trying to humor me when he bought sc2 in the recent months, but he never plays it. He loves freakin’ LoL too much. Ugh. I moved to this state in February this year for school and work reasons. I don’t know anyone besides him and his family. I work a job that consists of all females (children’s retail, just works out that way) and I’ve told him, numerous times, if he doesn’t change – I’m gone. I WILL meet someone else regardless of this living situation. He refuses to go out with me, and has no motivation. He’d rather stay home and play video games. I don’t have a problem with gaming. I love gaming. But I also love real life. His parents made him this way by spoiling him beyond anything I ever imagined. A lot of my anger towards him comes from pure jealousy. I’ve realized this in the last several months. It would be a dream if I had well-off parents who could pay for all my living expenses and more, while I did whatever I felt like doing. I can’t help but feel like he’s just too damn lucky. I work my ass off. My resume is pretty damn impressive for my age because of how much work I put into my future. So… that’s why we failed. Different goals, different lifestyle.
Now things are really awkward. I feel unbelievably stuck in this small city in Ohio. I don’t know how I’d meet anyone else. I’m lonely and depressed. This is awful. I wonder how he feels, or if he even cares. I doubt it. We’ve gone days without speaking. At the same time, I LOVE living here. It’s this crazy mixed up relationship I have with this state in general. I miss Florida, but I love Ohio.
I guess I should stop dating gamers. I feel like I’ve been in this situation before… My last three relationships all failed miserably due to different goals in life. They were all gamers. Sure, it’s a good time when you stay up late drinking wine and playing final fantasy… but when I go to work the next day and you get to sleep in (because you either have no job or barely work) … I get a tad bit jealous. Just sayin’.
Maybe I should date someone who enjoys sports. Like… the kind with balls!
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Being a gamer does not equate to being a bum. Not all gamers leech of their parents for everything.
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"Maybe I should date someone who enjoys sports. Like… the kind with balls! "
Date salce, he is very good with oriana
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Baa?21245 Posts
Dress up as a fed Irelia and scare him the hell away from the house.
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a lot of gamers are a-social nim rods, just the way it is. if he's just gonna act like a kid don't worry about it, break up with him quietly and just enjoy life! you're young and you'll meet someone, just put yourself out there! go to college parties, you never know who you'll meet. =)
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Honestly, if you've tried everything you could already to get him to change, the only thing that's going to make him realize his mistakes is actually breaking up with him/leaving him. He's gotten into the mindset that he can slack off and do whatever he wants and you'll be there regardless of how much or little effort he puts into the relationship. Maybe you could get back together with him at some point in the future or something, but from what you've said, I'm almost positive that he won't change his attitude unless he gets a reality check. And to give that reality check you need to, at the very least, take a break from him for awhile to let him know that he has to give more than 0% into the relationship. It'll probably work out better for you as well in the end because you might even find someone else who is better for you. Best of luck.
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On August 22 2011 15:39 SkyLegenD wrote:
Being a gamer does not equate to being a bum. Not all gamers leech of their parents for everything.
Um, I know. It's my luck. Not all gamers I've dated have been leechers. A few of them worked, but they seemed less motivated to grow up. Just in general. I blame it on them being in their early twenties.
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Liking and playing games doesn't preclude someone from having drive or working hard. You just have to practice working out which gamers are the keepers  .
The feeling of being trapped in your city sucks though, and it can happen to everyone. The only solution is to do something different. Sign up for something new, get in touch with old friends, travel a bit, or something else entriely.
Oh, and one personal hang-up of mine: the common phrase is "intents and purposes", rather than "intensive purposes".
The moving on part is tough, but you'll get through it. Good luck!
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If the advice you're asking for is whether or not to continue dating gamers, I would say based on your experience you like gamers and you dislike slackers. So cross off gamers without jobs to begin with, rather than all gamers, and see where that gets you =P
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I'm kind of confused. Did you actually break up with him? If so, you're still living together? And is this you asking for advice, or just venting, or what? 
I don't really think gaming is the problem. There are many kinds of addictions that can numb people to real life social interaction. That being said, I can admit gamers do tend to be more prone to that kind of thing, especially if its with something competitive like SC2 or LoL.
I play a lot of games, I was even heavy into WoW for a while, but there was never a point where I put video games above my girlfriend. You've been getting unlucky, or maybe you're just a bad judge of character. Or it's just possible you're drawn to this type of guy. Either way, I wish you the best of luck, and I hope things work out for you!
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Um..Did you actually talk to him about it? Had a discussion on how to change things etc. To my understanding a healthy relationship is all about communication.
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Now you know how guys feel. When we try to get girls we like to notice us but they pay no heed.
even though you know they care deeply about you.
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On August 22 2011 15:42 Porcelain wrote:Show nested quote +On August 22 2011 15:39 SkyLegenD wrote:
Being a gamer does not equate to being a bum. Not all gamers leech of their parents for everything. Um, I know. It's my luck. Not all gamers I've dated have been leechers. A few of them worked, but they seemed less motivated to grow up. Just in general. I blame it on them being in their early twenties. So dump his ass~ and find one that can support both of you together.
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On August 22 2011 15:43 Jumbled wrote:Liking and playing games doesn't preclude someone from having drive or working hard. You just have to practice working out which gamers are the keepers . The feeling of being trapped in your city sucks though, and it can happen to everyone. The only solution is to do something different. Sign up for something new, get in touch with old friends, travel a bit, or something else entriely. Oh, and one personal hang-up of mine: the common phrase is "intents and purposes", rather than "intensive purposes". The moving on part is tough, but you'll get through it. Good luck!
I used to correct people on that lol. Fixed!
BTW, the punctuation goes inside the "quotation marks."
And yes, I suppose my judge of character is flawed. : / I have difficulty finding a keeper.
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What advice could you possibly be seeking after writing a blog like this. There are pretty mcuh only a few otpions
Break up with him, thats fucking obvious, he's worthless, and he either is providing amazing sex (doubtful, since you don't see him days at a time) or something.
You can live on your own, find any roommate that isnt' taking away precious years of your life, or anything.
Also, you don't HAVE to be dating someone at any given time, just because you break up with this guy doesn't mean you have to go out looking for a new guy immediately, just meet people, if you like real life equally to gaming then use that time, find and meet people make friends whatever.
Theres no advice to be given here everything is spelled out by you yourself, you know what to do now do it before you lose something you can't get back, which is time.
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For those who asked: Yes, we're still living together. No, we're not dating. I've spoken with him on many different occasions about my issues.
I guess this is more of a late-night venting post. Also, I'm kind of tired/irritated. It's nearly 3am and I really should be sleeping rather than lurking TL and complaining about life.
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Hueuehuehuehue. This rich nerd es #1. Always LoL, never lose.
Sounds like yo' ass needs to find a new place. Let this rich nerd play LoL in peace without your constant bickering.
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Not all gamers are like this, Im masters random player and yet i spend 9hrs studying finance... . Maybe u just got unlucky ?
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On August 22 2011 15:41 Carnivorous Sheep wrote:
Dress up as a fed Irelia and scare him the hell away from the house.
O.o I had to google Irelia to understand this. ^
Damn LoL.
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Move out then.
Recently me and a roommate got fed up with our other roommate who was messy, didn't clean up anything, was an overall slob and obnoxious. Had no real goals or directions in life, why put up with that, move out get a new place, bigger or smaller, cheaper or more expensive rent, doesn't matter.
And like everyone has said, being a gamer doesn't imply no ambitions, there are the people who all they do is play the games but there are also people with real goals and direction for the future beyond the game itself. So since you seem to be looking for the latter, but have an attraction towards the former, fix that.
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EPT
