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Active: 1673 users

[Poll] Farting Etiquette

Blogs > OpticalShot
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OpticalShot
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Canada6330 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-26 19:36:14
July 26 2011 16:11 GMT
#1
Situation: I'm in my personal cubicle at work. There are 3 adjacent cubicles to the north/east/west, and south side is a corridor. This cubicle block consists of 6 cubicles in total, separated by 5 feet walls (tall, so you pretty much can't see anything when you're sitting down). Most importantly, I'm full of gas today and I need to let it out RIGHT NOW.

So I ask you, TL:
Poll: Should I fart right now?

Yes, BLAST it so everyone will hear. (26)
 
41%

Yes, but quietly. Silent and deadly! (22)
 
35%

No, hold it and go to the washroom then release. (9)
 
14%

No, hold it like a man the whole day then go home and release. (6)
 
10%

No, walk out to the parking lot then release. (0)
 
0%

63 total votes

Your vote: Should I fart right now?

(Vote): Yes, BLAST it so everyone will hear.
(Vote): Yes, but quietly. Silent and deadly!
(Vote): No, hold it and go to the washroom then release.
(Vote): No, walk out to the parking lot then release.
(Vote): No, hold it like a man the whole day then go home and release.



+ Show Spoiler [I just] +
farted on my chair very silently. Couldn't hold the gas until more votes came in. D=

Also, as part of a particularly gassy day, I farted many many more times into the chair, all of them pretty much silent if not super quiet. I puffed out the smell a couple minutes ago by just hitting the chair cushion, and I think the guy across me might have seen me do it... I hope he understands.
On July 27 2011 01:49 turdburgler wrote:
let it rip whenever you want but keep a can of air freshener at your desk

Yes good sir, I do keep a small febreeze-to-go in my drawer. So after the puffing, I puffed it a bit more to make sure most of the immediate smell was gone, then sprayed the febreeze under the desk a bit.


What are your personal/work farting etiquettes?

***
[TLMS] REBOOT
kesrith
Profile Joined May 2010
Germany393 Posts
July 26 2011 16:13 GMT
#2
Sielnt and deadly for me. Just let it out and walk around with a huge grin when people complain.
Dubzex
Profile Joined October 2010
United States6994 Posts
July 26 2011 16:15 GMT
#3
Where is the option for: "Walk around the office and let it go in front of someone else's area" ?
"DONT UNDERESTIMATE MY CARRY OR YOU WILL BE CARRIED INTO THE ABYSS OF SUFFERING" - Tyler 'TC' Cook
josemb40
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
Peru611 Posts
July 26 2011 16:18 GMT
#4
yeah, you should walk to another office area, and let it go quietly, and then just keep walking
wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
Hassybaby
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
United Kingdom10823 Posts
July 26 2011 16:18 GMT
#5
This thread is a perfect example of the TL community

How dare people say we're inconsiderate! We have a poster here, putting his reputation on the line because he want's the opinion of the TL community about a seriously problem, despite his discomfort waiting for a reply

You sir are a hero


Also, go full out. Bring the noise proudly
"These guys are mindfucking me into a sex coma" | "Mayonnaise is a must-have lubricant when performing necrophilia"
TSM
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Great Britain584 Posts
July 26 2011 16:42 GMT
#6
silient but deadly always. Use the chair to pull your ass cheeks apart, then release.
The person to smile when everything goes wrong has found someone to blame it on - arthur bloch **** tl:dr *user was banned for this post*
turdburgler
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
England6749 Posts
July 26 2011 16:49 GMT
#7
let it rip whenever you want but keep a can of air freshener at your desk
Rinrun
Profile Joined April 2010
Canada3509 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-26 16:52:28
July 26 2011 16:52 GMT
#8
Let it rip. Or better yet, try covering them with your coughs- totally draws attention away from you.
MBC/Liquid/TSM always.
Binky1842
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
United States2599 Posts
July 26 2011 16:54 GMT
#9
let it out. it's better for your body if you get rid of the gas/pressure.
and it's a natural thing, who cares if they hear you
"The zoo could not confirm that Binky was the attacker, but only Binky had blood on his face following the incident"
Cambium
Profile Blog Joined June 2004
United States16368 Posts
July 26 2011 17:01 GMT
#10
go as loud as you can, then say, "excuse me"
When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.
DorF
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Sweden961 Posts
July 26 2011 17:07 GMT
#11
It is important that after you pass gas, that you pretend that you did not do it and if you can blame it on your co-worker with a loud and aggressive voice.
BW for life !
Treemonkeys
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States2082 Posts
July 26 2011 17:25 GMT
#12
If you are indoors with other people it is polite to silently release a small scout fart to check the smell before letting the whole thing go. If the scout fart is noticeably bad you should either step outside or visit the restroom before releasing the full blow.
http://shroomspiration.blogspot.com/
Torenhire
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States11681 Posts
July 26 2011 18:04 GMT
#13
On July 27 2011 01:49 turdburgler wrote:
let it rip whenever you want but keep a can of air freshener at your desk


This guy seems like someone who knows a lot on this matter.

Depends on my company...when I'm in the officicles (office but filled with 3 cubicles) I try not to blast em. When I'm in the warehouse though...I like to let em rip cause it makes them sound all crazy loud and echoey, and it's always fun to let one out that reverbs through the whole warehouse and then be like "scuse me!!"


Makes it sound like you farted out an airplane. :D
SirJolt: Well maybe if you weren't so big and stupid, it wouldn't have hit you.
DrTJEckleburg
Profile Blog Joined February 2009
United States1080 Posts
July 26 2011 18:08 GMT
#14
Well I run a grocery store so most of the time it's loud enough on the floor that I can just blast it on the front-end. Most of our clientele is old/deaf anyway, plus they smell bad already so it doesn't really detract from the environment.
Im pretty good at whistling with my hands, especially when Im holding a whistle.
Malks
Profile Joined April 2011
United Kingdom94 Posts
July 26 2011 18:15 GMT
#15
You gotta be silent man. If you aren't, you'd be known as THAT guy. Being 'the guy that farts in front of others' isn't the best reputation to have, rather 'the guy who leads the lynching against an unknown biological/chemical warfare attack'.

Or in other words; be subtle, blame others to shift the suspicion away from you.

Whoever smelt it dealt it, but whoever said the rhyme did the crime /irony
Z3kk
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
4099 Posts
July 26 2011 18:18 GMT
#16
Reminded me of Chairman Ray's blog entry

Usually I just fart silently.
Failure is not falling down over and over again. Failure is refusing to get back up.
Servius_Fulvius
Profile Joined August 2009
United States947 Posts
July 26 2011 19:10 GMT
#17
Where is the carpet bombing option on the poll?
pathy
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Taiwan619 Posts
July 26 2011 19:24 GMT
#18
hold it to the washroom

1. wash hands
2. activate hand dryer
3. fart
4. receive bacon
Graphicscolosi suck
OpticalShot
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Canada6330 Posts
July 26 2011 19:32 GMT
#19
LOL some of the responses <3 I love you guys.

More fart story in the spoiler.
[TLMS] REBOOT
OmniEulogy
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Canada6593 Posts
July 26 2011 20:50 GMT
#20
Make them all think something is really wrong by running down the corridor and then let it rip as you run into the bathroom. You might get the rest of the day off.
LiquidDota Staff
PartyBiscuit
Profile Joined September 2010
Canada4525 Posts
July 26 2011 21:06 GMT
#21
I'm a fan of the ol' stretch n'toot in your chair method.
the farm ends here
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