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Ultimate Girl Blog Fight Club

Blogs > procyonlotor
Post a Reply
procyonlotor
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Italy473 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-22 03:07:53
July 22 2011 03:00 GMT
#1
I have not been a great denizen of the blog section of TL but even I could not fail to notice this
new trend going about, namely the girl blog.

Firstly allow me to say that by endorsing the girl blog TL is embarking on an exciting journey to new horizons which will enrich everyone for the better. I am of course talking about Ultimate Girl Blog Fight Club, a practice originating on the mythical isle of Atlantis. In the past, atlanteans settled their girl troubles by engaging in deadly combat. What better way to resolve such issues than fighting to the death? It is well known that by extreme physical exercise the evil humors of the body are exorcised, the hidden passions of the heart purged, and the inner torments of the spurned lover made visible for all to see. Even in later ages, when more civilized rituals were adopted, the girl blog fight club remained a cornerstone of spiritual well being, as well as the last resort of the desperate. Now, Team Liquid, I bring to you this gift.

The virtues of girl blog fight club are many. Here, I shall list only a few in the hope that they shall enlighten and encourage you to further meditate upon this wisdom.

1. The afflictions of the heart which must strike any human being are completely cancelled out. By
engaging in a life and death struggle one places oneself outside the trap of complacency, out of which only the luxury of love may result.

[image loading]
A member of girl blog fight club.


2. If said afflictions are not cancelled out, there is always the possibility of death, which wipes clean the soul of any troubles as it is prepared for reincarnation. It is well known that those fighters who die in the ring of blog are born anew, fiercer than ever, with souls of stone-crushing stoicism. Women lavish themselves upon them, yet they turn not an eye upon them, for within their souls there is the cautionary instinct born of girl blog fight club.

[image loading]
Vladimir Putin after having successfully applied the female rejection technique.


3. In times long forgotten, there was no girl blog fight club. The people of Atlantis were kind and
understanding. Then, the ailing lovers of the island would wander the streets chasing the wind like
stray dogs. One would need only utter a word of interest to these poor souls to have them burst into tears. Gods forbid a young maiden approach such an individual. He would surely fall head over heels even when no interest was expressed. The institution of girl blog fight club allowed us to gather all such men in closed spaces, where their passion may be consumed forever, thereby ridding the city and its society of these unfortunate disturbers of the peace.

4. By practicing life and death battles these men harden themselves and find new self respect. Not only that, they may discover the courage and strength of will to bore through misfortune and all manner of troubles in order to approach the opposite sex as many times as necessary, embracing the truth that there are indeed quite a lot of fish in the sea.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGz5lLot4Q0
A member of girl blog fight club demonstrates the right attitude.


5. By encouraging life and death battles one fosters a culture of physical well being and military preparation. Never has it been said of Atlantis that it was a city of cowards and nincompoops. Indeed, the nincompoops were always those landlovers who prided themselves on land warfare. I tell you, if Atlantis had been at Thermopylae, we would have held a thousand years. Heed the lessons of the past, Team Liquid, do not risk becoming nincompoops!

6. Girl Blog Fight Club is not only about violence. Indeed, half of the ritual involves the creation of girl blogs, an art which reached its zenith at the peak of atlantean civilization and produced works of priceless value. In ages to come, other cultures would embrace this aspect of girl blog fight club. For instance, the Romans with such poets as Catullus (I hate and I love) and Propertius (your love has buried all others). It is true however that the core of Girl Blog Fight Club remains competition, whether physical or artistic. Without this conflict, lovers would waste away on their couches, or write away in their blogs. Instead, how wonderful it is to match and surpass one's peers, making smooth one's skill in either practice through thoughtful exercise.

7. Girl Blog Fight Club is way for like minded people to meet. New friendships may be formed, although they may sometimes end tragically, as one friend is pitted against another. What will prevail, friendship or the need to escape the fires of amorous passion? Often the answer is of bitter taste, yet ever so often a friendship more beatiful than a young butterfly may blossom, blinding all those present as though reflecting the beauty of the sun itself. How lovely it is when two men come together in recognition of their value to each other!

[image loading]
There was no way I wasn't posting this one.


These things I have written, yet I have not addressed the practical side, the true workings of girl blog fight club.

Firstly, a number of men with the apropriate predisposition are chosen.

Secondly, the men are taught the rules. They are as follows:

Rule number one: you do not blog about girl blog fight club.

Rule number two: you do not blog about blogging about girl blog fight club. (to do so would be the creation of a blog inside a blog, our philosophers have long theorized, correctly, that the universe would explode if such an act were to ever occur).

Rule number three: if someone wishes to cease fighting, you must continue. Cries for help or pleas for mercy are signs that the evil humors of the body are being purged. Though tiring, you must continue beating your opponent even harder than before!

Rule number four: only two men may fight at any given time, for obvious reasons.

Rule number five: fighting must be done in ritual attire, which we will provide for you. Oil shall also be provided, for aesthetic reasons.

[image loading]
Two members of girl blog fight club in ritual attire.


Rule number six: a fight continues as much as it has to, unless coffee is involved. When either the fighters or the observers begin to sip coffee, that is a clear sign that the soul is no longer restless and that the demons of womanly desire have gone away, at least for a short while. Often, young men will drink coffee in secret in order to boast of the greatness of their inner demons. This is a shameful and lamentable practice which shall be punished severely!

Rule number seven: if it is your first time in girl blog fight club, then you have to blog! (yes, that is a trick rule)

Thirdly, the men must girl blog amongst themselves, never making public their writings to any outside the girl blog fight club.

Fourthly, after a sufficient amount of girl blogging has occurred, the fighting begins. This has historically been a naturally occurring phenomenon. It was discovered by the first master of the girl blog fight club, who locked many young men together in the hope that they might find comfort and understanding in their mutual troubles. Eventually, after much discussion, the men set about killing each other. Such was the origin of girl blog fight club.

[image loading]
It is believed the instant before the slaughtering began looked something like this.


Fifthly, this process is repeated until one no longer feels the need to participate in girl blog fight club. We do not take prisoners. All those who participate do so of their own free will, especially the children young men, being of impetuous hearts.

As you can see, it is relatively simple to institute a girl blog fight club.

The form which girl blog fight club takes today is known as Ultimate Girl Blog Fight Club. Like wildfire, it has spread across the world, cutting away the infection of amorous attachment like a physician would a gangrenous limb. Join us today, men of Team Liquid, we shall light the way to a higher plane of existence, freeing both you and others from the tortures of love and the pain which must derive from it.

###


We regret that women are not allowed into girl blog fight club. (Yes, that includes lesbians.)

****
McKTenor13
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
United States1383 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-22 03:19:03
July 22 2011 03:14 GMT
#2
1 star for the lack of lesbians
If you can chill. chill. - Liquid'Tyler
Sarasin
Profile Joined April 2010
Canada109 Posts
July 22 2011 03:19 GMT
#3
Was sort of disappointed title was not Ultimate Girl Blog. Then the disappointment was washed away by the awesome which flowed forth. 5/5
RedJustice
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
United States1004 Posts
July 22 2011 03:59 GMT
#4
The women's fight club is better. js
Clbull
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
United Kingdom1439 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-22 04:24:22
July 22 2011 04:13 GMT
#5
Personally, I think that the ultimate answer to these girl blogs can be summed up if a few general questions are answered, such as.

1) Has she got a lot of emotional things going on at the moment? i.e. friend/family member either dead, hospitalised or in a huge amount of trouble.

If YES, leave it be for the time being. She's probably going through a lot. By all means be there for her if she needs somebody to talk to, just don't be intrusive about it.

If NO, move on to question 2.

2) Is she the ex-girlfriend of one of your close friends?

If YES, move on to question 3

If NO, move on to question 4

3) After asking your close friend (mentioned in the previous question) for approval, what was his response?

If he was AGAINST your decision, just move on if you don't want to lose this close friend of yours. Besides, dating somebody's ex can lead to all manner of problems anyway.

If he DIDN'T MIND, move on to question 4 if you decide that you want to go through the risk of a potentially rockier relationship with a friend's ex.

4) Have you asked her out before and at the same time, has she given you an answer indicating that she doesn't see you that way?

If YES, don't bother and just move on. Contining to pursue her could make things worse and make you look like a creep and go into potential stalker territory (and no, unlike Starcraft II, you cannot merely blink out of it.)

If NO, go to question 5.

5) Do you actually know this person on a friendly level?

If YES, cancel your girl blog post and fucking ask her out already.

If NO, get to know her. Who knows, she may not be the perfect girl to you once you get to know her a bit.

What I'm saying is some of the guys who write these girl blogs clearly need to man up, be themselves, be confident and actually aim to seamlessly have fun with these people rather than worry "Does she like me?" all the time. I mean if she doesn't like you that way, there's your answer. A relationship only really works when the feelings between the two parties are mutual.

If any women are reading this post, can you confirm my point that you like confidence in men, and not just people who sit around doing the least helpful thing in an attempt to resolve their issue, namely sitting around worrying about it?
Whole
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States6046 Posts
July 22 2011 04:39 GMT
#6
i like the Apocalypse Now picture.
procyonlotor
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Italy473 Posts
July 22 2011 10:37 GMT
#7
On July 22 2011 13:13 Clbull wrote:
+ Show Spoiler +
Personally, I think that the ultimate answer to these girl blogs can be summed up if a few general questions are answered, such as.

1) Has she got a lot of emotional things going on at the moment? i.e. friend/family member either dead, hospitalised or in a huge amount of trouble.

If YES, leave it be for the time being. She's probably going through a lot. By all means be there for her if she needs somebody to talk to, just don't be intrusive about it.

If NO, move on to question 2.

2) Is she the ex-girlfriend of one of your close friends?

If YES, move on to question 3

If NO, move on to question 4

3) After asking your close friend (mentioned in the previous question) for approval, what was his response?

If he was AGAINST your decision, just move on if you don't want to lose this close friend of yours. Besides, dating somebody's ex can lead to all manner of problems anyway.

If he DIDN'T MIND, move on to question 4 if you decide that you want to go through the risk of a potentially rockier relationship with a friend's ex.

4) Have you asked her out before and at the same time, has she given you an answer indicating that she doesn't see you that way?

If YES, don't bother and just move on. Contining to pursue her could make things worse and make you look like a creep and go into potential stalker territory (and no, unlike Starcraft II, you cannot merely blink out of it.)

If NO, go to question 5.

5) Do you actually know this person on a friendly level?

If YES, cancel your girl blog post and fucking ask her out already.

If NO, get to know her. Who knows, she may not be the perfect girl to you once you get to know her a bit.

What I'm saying is some of the guys who write these girl blogs clearly need to man up, be themselves, be confident and actually aim to seamlessly have fun with these people rather than worry "Does she like me?" all the time. I mean if she doesn't like you that way, there's your answer. A relationship only really works when the feelings between the two parties are mutual.

If any women are reading this post, can you confirm my point that you like confidence in men, and not just people who sit around doing the least helpful thing in an attempt to resolve their issue, namely sitting around worrying about it?


You approach is too lenient, my friend! Clearly the fact the girl blog fight club exists at all is proof that these individuals cannot master these simple techniques which you have so kindly put forward for our betterment.

Mortal combat in the ring of blog is that all that remains. It is the only valid answer, the equalizing factor. Accept this truth into your heart as you have accepted others. All shall be well. You shall see.

And for heaven's sake, do not drink any coffee.
ILOVEKITTENS
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
Korea (South)112 Posts
July 22 2011 17:18 GMT
#8
So, who wants to fight?
Kipsate
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Netherlands45349 Posts
July 22 2011 17:26 GMT
#9
On July 23 2011 02:18 ILOVEKITTENS wrote:
So, who wants to fight?

Game over.
WriterXiao8~~
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