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http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-7-biggest-dick-moves-in-history-online-gaming/
God, I can't stop laughing. My officemate thinks I'm fucking insane.
Favorite quotes:
"It was douchebaggery on measurable scientific and national security scales: Real-life scientists and bioterrorism experts now study it as a case example. Presumably before drinking themselves into unconsciousness when they realize they're protecting a species that commits bio-terror in order to destroy worlds they hang out in for fun."
"The interview had barely started when Anshe was bombarded with an army of flying disembodied penises."
"Deciding not to return to the now secure CNET studio, she invited everyone into her own home server instead. There are men hopping back into minefields on one leg with better pattern recognition than that. The cockbardment immediately resumed with mind-bending meta-porn of her virtual body attacked by pictures of her real body photoshopped to hold a fake penis."
Jesus Christ. People online are huge fucking douchebags, guys. :D Be careful out there!
  
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OMG that was hillarious!
the EVE ones were great.
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If MMORPG players were around when God said, "Let their be light" they'd have called the light gay, and plunged the universe back into darkness by squatting their nutsacks over it."
It's funny because it's true.
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This list is incredible. EVE is absurd!
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That was pretty entertaining. Can't believe someone got away with $170k USD worth of ISK - that's insane.
Did anyone else get a MLG Stride ad at the bottom featuring Tyler? Was pretty cool to see a SC2 progamer advertised on site that isn't primarily about starcraft or gaming.
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On June 28 2011 02:20 Bibdy wrote:Show nested quote +If MMORPG players were around when God said, "Let their be light" they'd have called the light gay, and plunged the universe back into darkness by squatting their nutsacks over it." It's funny because it's true.
Actually laughed out loud at that quote; you beat me to it.
I honestly think the Kerafyrm fuck-over should be higher, though EVE always deserves the top spot.
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"Second Life is a complete virtual environment that compliments reality by helping people who are no good at the real world voluntarily remove themselves."
Hehehehe
these are all great little bits of nerd lore
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Never knew about the Ultima one, sounds like great fun though. Awesome read, thanks for posting!
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As completely screwed up as number 1 was, and despite the fact I don't think I could live with doing this in real life myself......the troll inside me thinks that is perhaps the most glorious thing to happen in the history of video games. Such an epic way to go out, both middle fingers held high, your annoyed, raging minions powerless to stop you as you ride off into the sunset. Just lol.
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Wow EVE makes WoW look like .. just a game.
How does the bank operator actually go about collecting debts? I seriously have so much respect for these EVE players hahaha
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Hotbid should be on that list
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I was intrigued by the idea of plague cultivation. o_o
The human race is so fucked up. lol
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I'm amazed they didn't include the BoB EVE dismantling. That was literally one of the biggest dick moves to ever happen on EVE online.
The ultima online one got me laughing so hard. I never heard of that one.
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Papua New Guinea1059 Posts
Uhm, did not make me laugh, not even a little. Maybe coz I don't play MMO's or stupid browser games. Decent writeup tho.
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I love this kind of stuff. Eve is crazy.
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Having experience the WoW virus outbreak firsthand, I just want to say that I'm glad it made the list. What a ridiculous week that was...
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On June 28 2011 03:32 JieXian wrote:
How does the bank operator actually go about collecting debts? I seriously have so much respect for these EVE players hahaha
Someone please answer, I'm curious about this as well.
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I was about to post this as well! Lots of gems in this article. I thought this was the funniest quote in the entire thing:
He spent months running the "EVE Intergalactic Bank (EIB)." This offered loans for start-up EVE corporations and miners who wanted to buy tools, with interest rates and repayment plans and yes, we're still talking about a game people apparently play for fun.
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On June 28 2011 04:05 Misanthrope wrote:Show nested quote +On June 28 2011 03:32 JieXian wrote:
How does the bank operator actually go about collecting debts? I seriously have so much respect for these EVE players hahaha Someone please answer, I'm curious about this as well.
I would imagine it would be something like the mob, where the dude is big enough to bankroll that thing he is surely wealthy enough to hire a few goons to bust up your space ship.
I'd definitely like more elaboration on that whole thing as well, since it was so short compared to others
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On June 28 2011 03:32 JieXian wrote:
Wow EVE makes WoW look like .. just a game.
How does the bank operator actually go about collecting debts? I seriously have so much respect for these EVE players hahaha
If it were me, I'd get hired goons that go around assassinating them as they're trying to go out and do regular tasks, if they miss their payments.
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On June 28 2011 04:05 Misanthrope wrote:Show nested quote +On June 28 2011 03:32 JieXian wrote:
How does the bank operator actually go about collecting debts? I seriously have so much respect for these EVE players hahaha Someone please answer, I'm curious about this as well.
Well, I know the banks pay interest on ISK (in game currency) that are deposited within. If you trust the bank, then the best thing you can do with your idle currency is to keep it in a bank. If you have a loan outstanding, and have a lot of ISK now that you have gotten on your feet, then you have two choices:
1. You can repay your loan and begin using the bank to make interest on your money.
2. You can never repay your loan, and essentially lose all the money you would have made on interest.
Also, the bank could place a price on your head or whatever and then you wouldn't be able to travel into lower-sec space, severely limiting your ability to travel and enjoy the game.
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On June 28 2011 02:20 Bibdy wrote:
If MMORPG players were around when God said, "Let their be light" they'd have called the light gay, and plunged the universe back into darkness by squatting their nutsacks over it."
I laughed to every single letter of that sentence.
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That was the funniest and greatest article I have ever read. I now appreciate trolls. Never thought this could happen. But it has. And lol.
That said, I would probably not find it so funny if I had ever experienced any of these first hand, so I do apologize for my lol-ing to those who suffered from these hilarious acts of cyber-humanity.
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GODDAMNIT! Me and a friend actually had plans on starting a bank in EVE :/
Yeah, probably using hired goons and only picking newbies when giving loans would be the safest way to make sure you earn on it.
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oh my god that is intense. lol I couldn't stop laughing reading the First WoW story.
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OMG that Fansy dude is epic and awesome! What did he became? I want to shake his hand and express my admiration!
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Before I was a BW player, I played Ultima Online as a high ranking PvPer. I thoroughly enjoyed #3, so much that I am installing UO again.
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If I am understanding this right Fancy was under the level cap for pvp so he couldnt be targeted but yet he was able to use a train skill to use mobs to kill higher lvl players? Wouldn't there come a point where a person was high enough to just kill all the monsters he trained? because he wouldn't be able to train high level monsters would he?
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Yeah 10months of planning and an epic backstab easily trumps some guy stooging a big bank. Man that corporate espionage was so epic.
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These are quite fascinating, actually, especially the EVE ones. Gotta admire it, even just a little bit... 
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That's already in the list.
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All of these were really funny. I remember seeing the WoW funeral back in the day thought that was crazy haha. The EVE ones just seemed crazy. That takes hardcore gamer to another level son damn. Thanks for the link.
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good read! i was only aware of the massacre at the funeral one. i am so out of da loop :<
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Canada708 Posts
I can't view the list because cracked is blocked from my end. Could someone please repost? From what I gather the WoW raid on the funeral is one. I though that was particularly hilarious when it first happened and my friends showed me.
I also just read up on the GHSC massacre. That is unreal. Every time I read about EVE I have the urge to play it, but my good sense keeps me away.
Reminds me of a small-time example from playing Puzzle Pirates back in the day with my friends. One of them managed to climb to the ranks of Officer in another much larger crew that had several large ships. I was in the same crew but only as a smaller jobber. One night we finally saved up enough to buy our own Sloop (which is hard when not paying for gold), and my Officer friend stole an entire warship's worth of maps and dubloons. The next day we had our own crew and ship fully equipped with maps!
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EPT
