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This is going to be a I don't know how many part series of blogs that I'm going to use to straighten out my thoughts and figure out how to get myself back to the confident and happy person I know I am.
This last year or so has without a doubt been the hardest and most trying of my life. I haven't lived long, but this has been a trial that's been difficult to overcome. I'm still struggling with it- although I've had great times in the last year, and dealt with my problems well, and it seems as though I'm about to pull through, I lose sight of my goal, and fall off the path. I go back into the mode of unhappiness and apathy, and things seem hopeless. I've been in that hopeless state for a few months now.
I've been thinking a lot about my life lately. I don't want to live my life like I am, but my apathy and unhappiness keep me from being motivated and seeing my goal- they make me lose sight of what is important. So I've realized that the first step in my journey to happiness is getting rid of those negative thoughts.
I started the process, and began thinking about things that make me happy. My brothers, my sisters, my guitar, Starcraft (in which I've just been promoted to Master League :D). That's given me a base to start on, all the material blessings I have, and indeed it has started to take away from the negative in my life. I've thought more about it, and tried to see past just material things.
I have probably the most ideal life a human could ever have. I live in one of the safest areas in the United States, I have a school to go to where I can get a good education that will serve as the foundation of my life, my area is beautiful, I have caring parents who want the best for me. I've never known hunger, nor will I probably ever. I've got great friends who support me. It's raining outside, and I love the rain. I have so many opportunities in life that many will never have.
My entire life my mom has been an alcoholic, and never really been there for me. It used to tear me apart, because I've never been close to my step-mother and never had that woman figure in my life. It's tough to have a bad day, and not be able to really talk to someone you love about it, or have that "I love you" that can mean so much. But as I've thought about this, I've realized that it really is a blessing in disguise. I'm a much stronger and independent person now. I know what it's like to deal with that adversity, and it's made me a better person and defined my character. I've gotten to the point where I don't need people to guide me along constantly, and I can deal and roll with the punches by myself. In all honesty, and selfishly so, I would not change my mother's trial. It's made me ten times the person I would have been without it.
And so, I look forward to the day when I can look back at this trial and say, "I'm glad this has happened. I'm stronger for it, and have had diversity added to my character." That is a day that I truly look forward to.
Now that I've found a source of positive inflow with which I can ward away negative and pessimistic thoughts that I often have, I can better focus on the next step in my journey: Motivation.
 
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Motivation is the fuel to reach most goals, much like Necessity is the mother of invention. I wish you the best of luck.
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People with 1 or more shitty parents in their lives either end up just as shit as their parents, or become super-motivated/ambitious and rise farther than their parents ever could have dreamed of.
Sometimes, these people start out in category (a), realize what they're doing, and move to category (b).
Other times, these people do the category (b) thing for a while and then self-destruct, finally ending up just like their parents. I've seen both versions of this. The latter one isn't pretty, because you feel nothing but pity for these people and they feel nothing but pity for themselves. Going "woe is me" all the time won't help you, so always remember to keep working towards your goals.
Watch/read/learn from the Count of Monte Christo. It's the sole inspiration for everything I do in life (that and a little Tengen Toppen Gurren Lagann ).
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Lets discuss the Law of Polarity. If it is a long way up to the top of a building, it must be a long way down. If it is a mile from point A to point B, it must be a mile from point B to point A. They are not only opposite, they are equal and opposite.
Everything that happens in your life today will either appear negative or positive. Keep in mind whatever happens must have a positive side to it.
A large majority of the population seems to be mentally programmed to pay attention to the negative side of life and unfortunately, ignore the positive.
Make a decision right now that, regardless of what happens today, you are going to look for the positive aspect of what’s happening. Remember … every cloud has a silver lining. Do this again tomorrow and the next day until it becomes a habit to see the positive in everything. You will feel better. You will be more productive. You will have more friends.
When you focus on whats positive you will find more to be grateful for. What you put energy into you get back out. Focus on the positives in the development of your character that came from having bad parenting. Forgive your parents for all the rest. To forgive means "To let go of, abandon completely.' When you forgive something you put absolutely no more thought into what you forgave. This will allow your focus to be productive rather than destructive.
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^ Both of the posters above me, thank you. There's no way I'm going to become an alcoholic as well- that isn't me. She hasn't been a bad parent, she's just made some mistakes from a very early age. I've forgiven her, that's not an issue. I'll definitely look into reading that, the movie is intense.
As for directly above. That's what it all is, isn't it? Just getting to the point where the positive thoughts and happiness perpetuate so that it never ends. It's continuously fueling itself. That's why I'm doing this- so I can get to that point. I've been there before, and want to be there again.
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Even without knowing you at all, I can see something to trust in your words. I feel confident to say that you will make it, no matter what happens.
Best wishes 
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EPT
