• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EDT 19:31
CEST 01:31
KST 08:31
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
Code S Season 1 - RO12 Group A: Rogue, Percival, Solar, Zoun10[ASL21] Ro8 Preview Pt1: Inheritors16[ASL21] Ro16 Preview Pt2: All Star10Team Liquid Map Contest #22 - The Finalists21[ASL21] Ro16 Preview Pt1: Fresh Flow9
Community News
2026 GSL Season 1 Qualifiers25Maestros of the Game 2 announced92026 GSL Tour plans announced15Weekly Cups (April 6-12): herO doubles, "Villains" prevail1MaNa leaves Team Liquid25
StarCraft 2
General
Code S Season 1 - RO12 Group A: Rogue, Percival, Solar, Zoun Team Liquid Map Contest #22 - The Finalists Blizzard Classic Cup @ BlizzCon 2026 - $100k prize pool MaNa leaves Team Liquid Maestros of the Game 2 announced
Tourneys
GSL Code S Season 1 (2026) SC2 INu's Battles#15 <BO.9 2Matches> WardiTV Spring Cup RSL Revival: Season 5 - Qualifiers and Main Event SEL Masters #6 - Solar vs Classic (SC: Evo)
Strategy
Custom Maps
[D]RTS in all its shapes and glory <3 [A] Nemrods 1/4 players [M] (2) Frigid Storage
External Content
The PondCast: SC2 News & Results Mutation # 523 Firewall Mutation # 522 Flip My Base Mutation # 521 Memorable Boss
Brood War
General
Pros React To: Leta vs Tulbo (ASL S21, Ro.8) ASL21 General Discussion [TOOL] Starcraft Chat Translator JaeDong's ASL S21 Ro16 Post-Review Missed out on ASL tickets - what are my options?
Tourneys
[ASL21] Ro8 Day 1 ASL Season 21 LIVESTREAM with English Commentary [ASL21] Ro8 Day 2 [ASL21] Ro16 Group D
Strategy
Fighting Spirit mining rates Simple Questions, Simple Answers What's the deal with APM & what's its true value Any training maps people recommend?
Other Games
General Games
Daigo vs Menard Best of 10 Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread Nintendo Switch Thread Dawn of War IV Diablo IV
Dota 2
The Story of Wings Gaming
League of Legends
G2 just beat GenG in First stand
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
Vanilla Mini Mafia Mafia Game Mode Feedback/Ideas TL Mafia Community Thread Five o'clock TL Mafia
Community
General
US Politics Mega-thread European Politico-economics QA Mega-thread Russo-Ukrainian War Thread 3D technology/software discussion Canadian Politics Mega-thread
Fan Clubs
The IdrA Fan Club
Media & Entertainment
[Manga] One Piece Anime Discussion Thread [Req][Books] Good Fantasy/SciFi books Movie Discussion!
Sports
2024 - 2026 Football Thread Formula 1 Discussion McBoner: A hockey love story
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
streaming software Strange computer issues (software) [G] How to Block Livestream Ads
TL Community
The Automated Ban List
Blogs
Sexual Health Of Gamers
TrAiDoS
lurker extra damage testi…
StaticNine
Broowar part 2
qwaykee
Funny Nicknames
LUCKY_NOOB
Iranian anarchists: organize…
XenOsky
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 1700 users

Funny/ Clever Facebook statuses?

Blogs > mAKiTO
Post a Reply
mAKiTO
Profile Blog Joined December 2002
Colombia4171 Posts
March 31 2011 19:56 GMT
#1
I was reading on mans magazine an article, they polled over 800 woman and ask what impressed them the most on a guys facebook, and 60% said clever statuses.

so post some gogo..Ill start first:

makito is wondering why women are like parking spots. All the good ones are taken, the others are too far, and the rest are all just handicapped. I guess that's why some guys bump their way into a taken ones? - 9 likes 12 comments

*
No quiero soñar mil veces las mismas cosas
Slakkoo
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
Sweden1119 Posts
March 31 2011 20:02 GMT
#2
Wrote Earth Hour my ass and created a heated debate, was quite fun :>
tofucake
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Hyrule19209 Posts
March 31 2011 20:02 GMT
#3
tofucake is wondering wtf is the point of this thread -.-
457839 likes 0 comments
Liquipediaasante sana squash banana
Wohmfg
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United Kingdom1292 Posts
March 31 2011 20:10 GMT
#4
On April 01 2011 04:56 mAKiTO wrote:
I was reading on mans magazine an article, they polled over 800 woman and ask what impressed them the most on a guys facebook, and 60% said clever statuses.

so post some gogo..Ill start first:

makito is wondering why women are like parking spots. All the good ones are taken, the others are too far, and the rest are all just handicapped. I guess that's why some guys bump their way into a taken ones? - 9 likes 12 comments


So how many times you been laid since you wrote your status? Many women been messaging you asking you to fuck?
BW4Life!
SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4011 Posts
March 31 2011 20:10 GMT
#5
From my brother,

"Hi folks, Mark Zuckerberg here, just reminding you I can be anyone."
Moderator@SirJolt
MaxField
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States2386 Posts
March 31 2011 20:18 GMT
#6
On April 01 2011 05:02 tofucake wrote:
tofucake is wondering wtf is the point of this thread -.-
457839 likes 0 comments

You can go ahead and edit one more like on to that one

Katie is proud of herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.

Dave says my computer just beat me at chess...but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
"Zerg, so bad it loses to hydras" IdrA.
bonifaceviii
Profile Joined May 2010
Canada2890 Posts
March 31 2011 20:19 GMT
#7
On April 01 2011 04:56 mAKiTO wrote:
I was reading on mans magazine an article, they polled over 800 woman and ask what impressed them the most on a guys facebook, and 60% said clever statuses.

so post some gogo..Ill start first:

makito is wondering why women are like parking spots. All the good ones are taken, the others are too far, and the rest are all just handicapped. I guess that's why some guys bump their way into a taken ones? - 9 likes 12 comments

So what's the going exchange rate between likes and blowjobs?
Stay a while and listen || http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=354018
iGrok
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States5142 Posts
March 31 2011 21:01 GMT
#8
On April 01 2011 05:19 bonifaceviii wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 01 2011 04:56 mAKiTO wrote:
I was reading on mans magazine an article, they polled over 800 woman and ask what impressed them the most on a guys facebook, and 60% said clever statuses.

so post some gogo..Ill start first:

makito is wondering why women are like parking spots. All the good ones are taken, the others are too far, and the rest are all just handicapped. I guess that's why some guys bump their way into a taken ones? - 9 likes 12 comments

So what's the going exchange rate between likes and blowjobs?

If I could "like" this post I would
MOTM | Stim.tv | TL Mafia | Fantasy Fighting! | SNSD
Noxie
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States2227 Posts
March 31 2011 21:19 GMT
#9
The key to facebook cleverness is putting up inspirational quotes and then adding a hyphen and your name at the end of it.
JeeJee
Profile Blog Joined July 2003
Canada5652 Posts
March 31 2011 22:48 GMT
#10
I like turtles because they're chill. They're just like, "Hey man, I want to swim, and maybe eat some lettuce. But I'm gonna take my time getting there, I'm not in a rush. Because I'm a turtle."
(\o/)  If you want it, you find a way. Otherwise you find excuses. No exceptions.
 /_\   aka Shinbi (requesting a name change since 27/05/09 ☺)
Khenra
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Netherlands885 Posts
March 31 2011 23:14 GMT
#11
Impressing girls via Facebook.. What has the world come to?

Anyway, I've never done any 'clever' Facebook status updates. I only ever post a status updates announcing my concerts as to hopefully get some people to come and listen.
This signature is ruining eSports.
Steelflight-Rx
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States1389 Posts
April 01 2011 00:52 GMT
#12
i don't think they mean putting clever jokes on your FB status. they mean like "hey look at all the cool stuff i'm doing, or this interesting article i found that says i care about _____."
yubee wrote: you know? it's a great night you should all smile no matter what harddships, because grass grows and the sky is blue and it's a good life.
Dalguno
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States2446 Posts
April 01 2011 01:04 GMT
#13
http://www.lamebook.com/

Great website for funny FB statuses, had many a good laugh from it!
"I'm gonna keep making drones cause I'm a baller, and ballers make drones." -Snute
Mvrio
Profile Joined July 2011
689 Posts
October 27 2011 07:51 GMT
#14
Sorry to gravedig old thread but I'd rather bump then start a new one
+ Show Spoiler +
- Got a Rolex for my birthday from a couple of lesbians I know. Guess they misunderstood me when I told them "I wanna watch".

- I remember in first grade when you had the 64 box of crayons, everybody thought you were rich.

- Facebook is like prison. You hang around, write on walls, and get poked by people without your consent.

- When I was little, “I am gonna tell your mom” was the scariest sentence.
On October 03 2011 Jinsho wrote: Everyone is just a speck of fly dirt on the wall compared to Greg playing at his best :D
FFGenerations
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
7088 Posts
October 27 2011 11:20 GMT
#15
some of these (in this thread) are really good haha :3
only problem is if i were to do it id put a big "ahahahahahahha" at the end coz i find it funny , and would cease to look cool
Cool BW Music Vid - youtube.com/watch?v=W54nlqJ-Nx8 ~~~~~ ᕤ OYSTERS ᕤ CLAMS ᕤ AND ᕤ CUCKOLDS ᕤ ~~~~~~ ༼ ᕤ◕◡◕ ༽ᕤ PUNCH HIM ༼ ᕤ◕◡◕ ༽ᕤ
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
Next event in 9h 29m
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
PiGStarcraft309
SpeCial 126
ProTech109
StarCraft: Brood War
Artosis 657
Larva 453
Movie 150
Sexy 104
firebathero 83
NaDa 15
Dota 2
monkeys_forever731
League of Legends
Doublelift3793
Other Games
summit1g7765
tarik_tv5344
shahzam406
Day[9].tv389
C9.Mang0358
Maynarde46
ViBE29
JimRising 13
minikerr7
Organizations
Other Games
gamesdonequick709
BasetradeTV294
Dota 2
PGL Dota 2 - Main Stream53
StarCraft 2
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
[ Show 17 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• Hupsaiya 81
• RyuSc2 41
• davetesta19
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Kozan
• sooper7s
• IndyKCrew
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• Migwel
StarCraft: Brood War
• HerbMon 34
• RayReign 31
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
• BSLYoutube
Other Games
• imaqtpie1372
• Day9tv389
Upcoming Events
Replay Cast
9h 29m
Escore
10h 29m
INu's Battles
11h 29m
Classic vs ByuN
SHIN vs ByuN
OSC
13h 29m
Big Brain Bouts
16h 29m
Replay Cast
1d
Replay Cast
1d 9h
RSL Revival
1d 10h
Classic vs GgMaChine
Rogue vs Maru
WardiTV Invitational
1d 11h
IPSL
1d 16h
Ret vs Art_Of_Turtle
Radley vs TBD
[ Show More ]
BSL
1d 19h
Replay Cast
2 days
RSL Revival
2 days
herO vs TriGGeR
NightMare vs Solar
uThermal 2v2 Circuit
2 days
BSL
2 days
IPSL
2 days
eOnzErG vs TBD
G5 vs Nesh
Patches Events
3 days
Replay Cast
3 days
Wardi Open
3 days
Afreeca Starleague
3 days
Jaedong vs Light
Monday Night Weeklies
3 days
Replay Cast
4 days
Sparkling Tuna Cup
4 days
Afreeca Starleague
4 days
Snow vs Flash
WardiTV Invitational
4 days
GSL
5 days
Classic vs Cure
Maru vs Rogue
GSL
6 days
SHIN vs Zoun
ByuN vs herO
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Proleague 2026-04-29
WardiTV TLMC #16
Nations Cup 2026

Ongoing

BSL Season 22
ASL Season 21
CSL 2026 SPRING (S20)
IPSL Spring 2026
KCM Race Survival 2026 Season 2
StarCraft2 Community Team League 2026 Spring
2026 GSL S1
BLAST Rivals Spring 2026
IEM Rio 2026
PGL Bucharest 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 1
BLAST Open Spring 2026
ESL Pro League S23 Finals
ESL Pro League S23 Stage 1&2
PGL Cluj-Napoca 2026

Upcoming

Escore Tournament S2: W5
KK 2v2 League Season 1
Acropolis #4
BSL 22 Non-Korean Championship
CSLAN 4
Kung Fu Cup 2026 Grand Finals
HSC XXIX
uThermal 2v2 2026 Main Event
Maestros of the Game 2
2026 GSL S2
RSL Revival: Season 5
XSE Pro League 2026
IEM Cologne Major 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 2
CS Asia Championships 2026
IEM Atlanta 2026
Asian Champions League 2026
PGL Astana 2026
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2026 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.