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Funny/ Clever Facebook statuses?

Blogs > mAKiTO
Post a Reply
mAKiTO
Profile Blog Joined December 2002
Colombia4171 Posts
March 31 2011 19:56 GMT
#1
I was reading on mans magazine an article, they polled over 800 woman and ask what impressed them the most on a guys facebook, and 60% said clever statuses.

so post some gogo..Ill start first:

makito is wondering why women are like parking spots. All the good ones are taken, the others are too far, and the rest are all just handicapped. I guess that's why some guys bump their way into a taken ones? - 9 likes 12 comments

*
No quiero soñar mil veces las mismas cosas
Slakkoo
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
Sweden1119 Posts
March 31 2011 20:02 GMT
#2
Wrote Earth Hour my ass and created a heated debate, was quite fun :>
tofucake
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Hyrule19028 Posts
March 31 2011 20:02 GMT
#3
tofucake is wondering wtf is the point of this thread -.-
457839 likes 0 comments
Liquipediaasante sana squash banana
Wohmfg
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United Kingdom1292 Posts
March 31 2011 20:10 GMT
#4
On April 01 2011 04:56 mAKiTO wrote:
I was reading on mans magazine an article, they polled over 800 woman and ask what impressed them the most on a guys facebook, and 60% said clever statuses.

so post some gogo..Ill start first:

makito is wondering why women are like parking spots. All the good ones are taken, the others are too far, and the rest are all just handicapped. I guess that's why some guys bump their way into a taken ones? - 9 likes 12 comments


So how many times you been laid since you wrote your status? Many women been messaging you asking you to fuck?
BW4Life!
SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4002 Posts
March 31 2011 20:10 GMT
#5
From my brother,

"Hi folks, Mark Zuckerberg here, just reminding you I can be anyone."
Moderator@SirJolt
MaxField
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States2386 Posts
March 31 2011 20:18 GMT
#6
On April 01 2011 05:02 tofucake wrote:
tofucake is wondering wtf is the point of this thread -.-
457839 likes 0 comments

You can go ahead and edit one more like on to that one

Katie is proud of herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.

Dave says my computer just beat me at chess...but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
"Zerg, so bad it loses to hydras" IdrA.
bonifaceviii
Profile Joined May 2010
Canada2890 Posts
March 31 2011 20:19 GMT
#7
On April 01 2011 04:56 mAKiTO wrote:
I was reading on mans magazine an article, they polled over 800 woman and ask what impressed them the most on a guys facebook, and 60% said clever statuses.

so post some gogo..Ill start first:

makito is wondering why women are like parking spots. All the good ones are taken, the others are too far, and the rest are all just handicapped. I guess that's why some guys bump their way into a taken ones? - 9 likes 12 comments

So what's the going exchange rate between likes and blowjobs?
Stay a while and listen || http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=354018
iGrok
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States5142 Posts
March 31 2011 21:01 GMT
#8
On April 01 2011 05:19 bonifaceviii wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 01 2011 04:56 mAKiTO wrote:
I was reading on mans magazine an article, they polled over 800 woman and ask what impressed them the most on a guys facebook, and 60% said clever statuses.

so post some gogo..Ill start first:

makito is wondering why women are like parking spots. All the good ones are taken, the others are too far, and the rest are all just handicapped. I guess that's why some guys bump their way into a taken ones? - 9 likes 12 comments

So what's the going exchange rate between likes and blowjobs?

If I could "like" this post I would
MOTM | Stim.tv | TL Mafia | Fantasy Fighting! | SNSD
Noxie
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States2227 Posts
March 31 2011 21:19 GMT
#9
The key to facebook cleverness is putting up inspirational quotes and then adding a hyphen and your name at the end of it.
JeeJee
Profile Blog Joined July 2003
Canada5652 Posts
March 31 2011 22:48 GMT
#10
I like turtles because they're chill. They're just like, "Hey man, I want to swim, and maybe eat some lettuce. But I'm gonna take my time getting there, I'm not in a rush. Because I'm a turtle."
(\o/)  If you want it, you find a way. Otherwise you find excuses. No exceptions.
 /_\   aka Shinbi (requesting a name change since 27/05/09 ☺)
Khenra
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Netherlands885 Posts
March 31 2011 23:14 GMT
#11
Impressing girls via Facebook.. What has the world come to?

Anyway, I've never done any 'clever' Facebook status updates. I only ever post a status updates announcing my concerts as to hopefully get some people to come and listen.
This signature is ruining eSports.
Steelflight-Rx
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States1389 Posts
April 01 2011 00:52 GMT
#12
i don't think they mean putting clever jokes on your FB status. they mean like "hey look at all the cool stuff i'm doing, or this interesting article i found that says i care about _____."
yubee wrote: you know? it's a great night you should all smile no matter what harddships, because grass grows and the sky is blue and it's a good life.
Dalguno
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States2446 Posts
April 01 2011 01:04 GMT
#13
http://www.lamebook.com/

Great website for funny FB statuses, had many a good laugh from it!
"I'm gonna keep making drones cause I'm a baller, and ballers make drones." -Snute
Mvrio
Profile Joined July 2011
689 Posts
October 27 2011 07:51 GMT
#14
Sorry to gravedig old thread but I'd rather bump then start a new one
+ Show Spoiler +
- Got a Rolex for my birthday from a couple of lesbians I know. Guess they misunderstood me when I told them "I wanna watch".

- I remember in first grade when you had the 64 box of crayons, everybody thought you were rich.

- Facebook is like prison. You hang around, write on walls, and get poked by people without your consent.

- When I was little, “I am gonna tell your mom” was the scariest sentence.
On October 03 2011 Jinsho wrote: Everyone is just a speck of fly dirt on the wall compared to Greg playing at his best :D
FFGenerations
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
7088 Posts
October 27 2011 11:20 GMT
#15
some of these (in this thread) are really good haha :3
only problem is if i were to do it id put a big "ahahahahahahha" at the end coz i find it funny , and would cease to look cool
Cool BW Music Vid - youtube.com/watch?v=W54nlqJ-Nx8 ~~~~~ ᕤ OYSTERS ᕤ CLAMS ᕤ AND ᕤ CUCKOLDS ᕤ ~~~~~~ ༼ ᕤ◕◡◕ ༽ᕤ PUNCH HIM ༼ ᕤ◕◡◕ ༽ᕤ
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