I have no friends within five hours of where I live. I feel like I've wasted the past year of my life doing almost literally nothing that will help me move forward in life. I've been living alone for 15 months now, and all of those months have been pretty depressing and lonely. My anxiety hasn't gotten much better, so I don't go to class. My time management STILL sucks. And on and on.
I'm 22. This is the prime time of my life. So why does it suck, and why can't I do anything about it? My cat is dying at 10 years old because she won't eat or drink anything for days. We've taken her to the vet and gotten her blood checked, but the doc wants to do a test on her intestinal cells, which is expensive, so we aren't doing it. I don't have a job so it's my mom's decision. My mom seems determined to put my cat down because she is so weak. She's talked about doing it before, but this time she even has a specific day in mind. So this coming Tuesday, my cat will probably be killed.
We've tried everything. I live 2 hours away from my mom and cat, so I can't take care of her unless I'm at home. I once tried a specific chakra meditation on myself when I was coming down with the flu, and it made me feel better as soon as I was done. So when I was talking to my mom on the phone about our cat a few months ago, I told her to try out this "sword fingers" chi meditation and see if it would help the cat get better. Here is the specific meditation I thought would help my cat:
My mom is anti-meditation. She thinks it's a waste of time, and she's one of the most stressed people I know. She hates her job and seems to talk about it all the time. So I tell her to try meditation, but she's stubborn and won't try it. I feel like if I was sitting next to her guiding her through a meditation, she would probably take the role of Will Hunting in the scenes where the mathematician is trying to find him a counselor.
So when I relayed the "sword fingers" technique to her over the phone and told her to try it on the cat, she said she would do it later, because she "was tired" and she didn't have two fucking minutes to devote at the time. So a few days later, I decided to do the "sword fingers" inside my mind, visualizing my cat lying on the carpet in front of me, and I visualized myself physically going through the motions of the technique. A week or so later, my mom called again and told me the most amazing thing had happened: my cat was eating like she was a starved stray brought in from the rain, and she had gained two pounds and was back to a reasonable weight. She had more energy and seemed healthier. I said great, and it seems to me that my healing actually helped. Of course I don't know the specific time where my cat "got better," but she did get better for a while.
So now it's been a couple months and she's weak again. I asked my mom if she ever did that meditation thing to try to help her, and she said no. You'd think as a woman she would have some greater motivation to nurture and care for the cat, but when it comes to something as simple as imagining energy for two minutes, she won't do it.
My grandpa, whom I am very close to and love very much, had a quintuple bypass surgery last October. He had to be opened up twice, too, because the blood vessels were leaking fluid after they closed him up the first time. He did kidney dialysis for a few months but his fluids aren't causing his body to swell up anymore. This month he swelled up again, so he had to go to the doc to "get drained." That must fucking hurt.
I think about him a lot. Oh, by the way, I still don't have a job. Fuck me. He called me on my birthday (Dec 13, 2010) to tell me to get a job. He must be very disappointed in his only grandson. I'm very close to being a college dropout and I'm so depressed I sometimes don't eat all day because I don't give enough of a fuck to even make sure I'm getting adequate nutrition (which can contribute to further depression). I blame my 0% productivity on my depression, which is reasonable, but it doesn't fix a fucking thing. I compare myself to my grandpa when I think of what I could possibly do to earn his respect, and I realize that he was on an American aircraft carrier during the Korean War (the U.S.S. Oriskany), he got married at about my age, and he had his first kid at 24. I haven't done SHIT, and I'm 22. Hmm, I wonder who had the better life up to this point. Like I said, though, I love the guy. I just hope I figure myself out before he dies or can't understand what's happening enough to know what I'm up to.
Okay, so my cat and my grandpa are dying, and I'm about to drop out of college. Big whoop, right? I can just get a job and make friends that way, or something. If I could get off my lazy American drive-thru ass, that is.
I remember I wrote a blog almost a year ago that had this same mood. I was horribly depressed at the time and I am again. There wasn't much of a break in between, so you can say I've been depressed for a year now. Which is fucking ridiculous! I get so pissed off sometimes when I feel like I can't do shit about it. I had counseling for about six months from June-December, and I really should start going back because I feel like I'm back at square one.
On top of all this, the world seems to be under a terrible sadness. There is so much anger in the middle east, and mourning in Japan and other similarly devastated regions. To understand it all seems unfathomable, but one thing's for certain in my mind: there is depression EVERYWHERE. Is this world really a reflection of myself? How can I possibly get better with all of this negativity surrounding me? How do I get out? Meditation sometimes works but after an hour or two of finishing, it's back to same old crummy vibes.
Oh, my cat just came over and sat on my lap, so I started petting her. She is the thinnest, weakest thing I have ever seen, and she's my best friend to boot. It seems like she's so weak she can't even purr. When I realized this, I started crying very hard, nonstop for about twenty minutes. It seems likely that she will be gone Tuesday. I can't imagine that. ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;
She's looking at me like "get back over here dude, we don't have much time left." So that's what I'm gonna do. And I'll try that sword fingers thing again. God damnit. ;_____;
Do you have any goals in life? Beyond like, the standard society bullshit of getting married, having kids, etc. Do you have any career or personal goals??
For me, when im down as shit, thats what keeps me going, is these small stupid goals that make me want to achieve them. Im a musician, went to school for music and altho I graduated, I felt like I barely touched the surface of the subject and have such a long journey to go... which is depressing in itself, but least I feel like I have a "purpose" in life, ya know?
So, what are you really passionate about, and make short-term, mid-term and long-term goals to achieving that. Thats all I can suggest really. If its SC2, or any game, seriously work to get your goal. If I still wanted to be a "progamer", I would work my ass off and make it to korea somehow.. Set the short term goals like Getting masters, then getting top 200, then placing in the top 16 of small tournies every weekend, then getting signed to a foreigner team, then trying to get to a foreigner house, then korea and attempt to make it at GSL.. Those are the types of steps/goals you need to do, take it very small at first and work your way up
You need to define what "happiness" is for you.. I had this discussion with my ex recently, she says she wants to be "happy" and for her, that is going out and drinking with friends every weekend.. where my idea of happiness is being able to play music with anyone, onstage or just jamming, and just appreciating music. Quite a big difference, not saying one is better than the other, but gotta find out what happiness is before you can achieve it..
do you have your health? awhile ago i lost my health due to degeneratve spinal disease, and have an incurable condition causing me to be in chronic pain everyday, so bad that i cant go to college or hold a job, and ive lost all my friends due to not being able to leave bed somedays. i know what its like to have your best ears taken away from you
but id gladly accept a lifetime of loneliness just to be healthy. as long as you have that, you can always change
On March 20 2011 14:30 hp.Shell wrote: I have no friends within five hours of where I live. I feel like I've wasted the past year of my life doing almost literally nothing that will help me move forward in life. I've been living alone for 15 months now, and all of those months have been pretty depressing and lonely. My anxiety hasn't gotten much better, so I don't go to class. My time management STILL sucks. And on and on.
I'm 22. This is the prime time of my life. So why does it suck, and why can't I do anything about it? My cat is dying at 10 years old because she won't eat or drink anything for days. We've taken her to the vet and gotten her blood checked, but the doc wants to do a test on her intestinal cells, which is expensive, so we aren't doing it. I don't have a job so it's my mom's decision. My mom seems determined to put my cat down because she is so weak. She's talked about doing it before, but this time she even has a specific day in mind. So this coming Tuesday, my cat will probably be killed.
I used to believe that, but there are so many things in life that one can gain as one gets older. The silly and infantile mentality that we used to have has now grown to shed itself, and we see things much more clearly. But this is if you're willing to reach that goal. If you want to stay down in the dirt, then you will do so, but in terms of feelings you can either stay down there or make your life start to 'work'. What are you so anxious about, that would halt your growth into what others may one day have? What success would you rather divvy up to your classmates who have shown no sign of the same candor to you?
My grandpa, whom I am very close to and love very much, had a quintuple bypass surgery last October. He had to be opened up twice, too, because the blood vessels were leaking fluid after they closed him up the first time. He did kidney dialysis for a few months but his fluids aren't causing his body to swell up anymore. This month he swelled up again, so he had to go to the doc to "get drained." That must fucking hurt.
I think about him a lot. Oh, by the way, I still don't have a job. Fuck me. He called me on my birthday (Dec 13, 2010) to tell me to get a job. He must be very disappointed in his only grandson. I'm very close to being a college dropout and I'm so depressed I sometimes don't eat all day because I don't give enough of a fuck to even make sure I'm getting adequate nutrition (which can contribute to further depression). I blame my 0% productivity on my depression, which is reasonable, but it doesn't fix a fucking thing. I compare myself to my grandpa when I think of what I could possibly do to earn his respect, and I realize that he was on an American aircraft carrier during the Korean War (the U.S.S. Oriskany), he got married at about my age, and he had his first kid at 24. I haven't done SHIT, and I'm 22. Hmm, I wonder who had the better life up to this point. Like I said, though, I love the guy. I just hope I figure myself out before he dies or can't understand what's happening enough to know what I'm up to.
Hah! Most of us can only dream of that kind of greatness, that kind of pride. My grandfather on my father's side was a bus driver for the nazis, as the Netherlands had been quickly taken over by Germany. He used to smuggle the people they were shipping around bread, eggs, decent water and clothes. My father's cousin was one of the Jews who had to hide in a cellar for what must have seemed like decades for fear of nazi capture. Quite breathtaking to have a real Anne Frank in the family. Coincidentally my grandfather on my mother's side fought in that same war, and being Canadian was part of the effort to liberate Holland. One of my mother's many cousins made his living off the elevator boom way back and now drives one of those fancy cars and always wears a fancy suit. He and his family had lived through the great depression.
Though they weren't particularly young(maybe 30s) when they did those things, in my deepest thoughts I can only dream of doing the stalwart and valiant things they did. I used to and still do feel ashamed of my fairly sedentary and unnoticed life. It may be thanatos I'm feeling, as I often wish I had some kind of purpose like theirs. In the end I can only reconcile that we certainly are better off. Being able to go to school, and have at least a decent job. The horrors my grandmother would tell of the great depression push me to get up and off to school when I most feel my own depression. By the way, all my grandparents are dead, and have been for about 5 years.
I should recommend a book that comes to mind Though the story itself may be depressing, Frankl's philosophy and psychology has inspired me to live life, and gain a greater understanding of its great highs and great lows. It may bear to read it or about his ideas.
Okay, so my cat and my grandpa are dying, and I'm about to drop out of college. Big whoop, right? I can just get a job and make friends that way, or something. If I could get off my lazy American drive-thru ass, that is.
I remember I wrote a blog almost a year ago that had this same mood. I was horribly depressed at the time and I am again. There wasn't much of a break in between, so you can say I've been depressed for a year now. Which is fucking ridiculous! I get so pissed off sometimes when I feel like I can't do shit about it. I had counseling for about six months from June-December, and I really should start going back because I feel like I'm back at square one.
On top of all this, the world seems to be under a terrible sadness. There is so much anger in the middle east, and mourning in Japan and other similarly devastated regions. To understand it all seems unfathomable, but one thing's for certain in my mind: there is depression EVERYWHERE. Is this world really a reflection of myself? How can I possibly get better with all of this negativity surrounding me? How do I get out? Meditation sometimes works but after an hour or two of finishing, it's back to same old crummy vibes.
Well part and parcel of that is realizing how much you can do, but also how much you want to accomplish. Why do you feel so badly about those things? If it's depressing, you have to understand that some things in the world happen for no reason, though we do attribute reason to them. In time this will kick in more, if you're committed to gaining more sense of balance and perspective. If it's more saddening to watch those things happen, that's normal, but it's how you pull yourself together. It's how you rally your confidence and heart to take greater steps towards greater pastures. It's something I have trouble with as well.The question begs me to ask it: how does one make sense of such tragedy? How are we still alive, and what are we going to do with what little life we have left?
Oh, my cat just came over and sat on my lap, so I started petting her. She is the thinnest, weakest thing I have ever seen, and she's my best friend to boot. It seems like she's so weak she can't even purr. When I realized this, I started crying very hard, nonstop for about twenty minutes. It seems likely that she will be gone Tuesday. I can't imagine that. ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;
She's looking at me like "get back over here dude, we don't have much time left." So that's what I'm gonna do. And I'll try that sword fingers thing again. God damnit. ;_____;
I went through a similar thing. Might have been the exact same thing: my dog stopped eating, stopped wanting to go for walks, started throwing up. Got extremely thin. We took her to the vet and they said she wouldn't make it. It was the saddest thing I can remember, she was sitting there, eyes hopeless, her body immobile. I had only a few moments to hug her and kiss her and say goodbye. Since then I've been repressing the tears as I have no real way of dealing with her untimely departure. So make haste, friend. Spend life in its best as long as you have it to life. There will not be another one.
I feel you, man. You know anything I write will not touch the deep part of you that's hurting. Because I think that that deep part of you is the independent part. The center of you that is fighting, straining and exerting all of its strength to find some happiness or meaning in this universe. And you know that in the end you are the only one who can answer your questions or create your own purpose. But, for whatever its worth, I wish you courage, perseverance and victory.
Quit looking at your past. You did everything you could with the awareness you had. You should cherish the past, since it made you into the person you are today. If you don't absolutely love yourself, you should probably change your perception.
Also, you can't manage time. Everybody gets the same amount of time, all there is. You can only manage activities.
There are also great books on dealing with death...you can start with a Google search.
Additionally, if you do what you think other people think you should do...you are wasting your life. Its like you're in a mental prison, and you are not being responsible. You are the only one who is responsible for your thoughts, feelings, actions, and EVERY result in your life.. Whether you are depressed, upset, lonely, happy, lazy, stressed, enthusiastic, creative, powerful, poor, wealthy, etc...its nobody's fault but your own. Until you understand this principal you will not be able to learn to be responsible. Therefore, you will not be able to learn from your mistakes and consequently grow. When you are blaming others you are taking away from your uniqueness and you are placing yourself into a mental prison...where you are virtually a slave.
If you are concerned about money...get a good book about money. Napoleon Hill wrote "Think and Grow Rich" which was influenced by Andrew Carnegie (He was the richest man in the world during much of his lifetime) and through incorporating the ideas taught in that book into your habitual way of thinking, you can quickly fix your money problems. Right now when you think of your financial situation you are thinking of debt, lack, limitation, etc...When you develop a prosperity consciousness you will subconsciously think about wealth, prosperity, infinite supply, etc...Just because you impress an idea consciously doesn't necessarily mean that idea is programmed in the subconscious mind.
Let me preface this by saying that if you are clinically depressed (ie. MEDICALLY), you should see a doctor. However, reading all this pathetic shit (not you personally, just the stuff you are spouting) makes me go into rage mode.
If you are being moody and angsty, all I have to say to you is to MAN THE FUCK UP. Take your grandfather as a role model and start living life. Sitting around moping that you're gonna be a college dropout, the world is bleak and all that bullshit isn't going to help you or anyone else.
Your grandfather probably didn't have a choice to serve, but he took what he was given and is a fucking hero. Trust me, the world was just as dangerous then, if not more than the current times. You think the world is a sad place? It isn't going to get better by you sitting on your existentialist ass crying about it. You're facing college dropout? Study up and succeed. You don't have friends? Go out and socialize. You don't have a job? For fuck's sake, I know the economy is still recovering from a recession but you could at least put yourself out there for a job by mass sending resumes. You think the world in general is a sad place? You can start making it better by volunteering locally (food bank? homeless shelter?) or take part in literally THOUSANDS of international organizations that strive to make the world a better place.
Unless you are medically depressed, there is no reason you can't succeed in any of the above. And even then, I know many have strived and succeeded. Contrary to what people are saying nowadays, you are not some special little primadonna exception who thinks he is the only one who can see a sad depressed world.
I'm don't particularly believe in meditation, but if an hour of that a day helps you, then go for it. But by relying on it as your only way of coping, you're not much better than the hundreds of other people sitting on their ass doing nothing while complaining about the world.
What specifically angers me is that against all odds, -YOU- are alive and well compared to the millions others who have never had an education, live through a war torn region, may never have seen their parents, do not have access to basic human necessities or human rights, yet -YOU- are the one complaining about random emo bullshit without making an iota of difference to the world. Think about that. And what those children and families would do to live in a level of comfort even remotely close to yours. Again, don't take this personally, but fuck you. If the world is such a damned place, go and TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for some of our fuckups and help those people. Maybe you aren't cutout to be a college graduate. Not everyone is. But many of those people went on to become leaders and people who changed the way we live and think.
Your life sucks because you make it suck. What are you doing here wasting time on a gaming site when you are about to get kicked out of college, you have no job and no ounce of social life? I find it sad that you complain about your mom, yet she is the one putting you up and working her ass off for you. She complains about her job and is stressed BECAUSE OF YOUR LAZY ASS (well, probably not exclusively).
You really want to help her? Don't kid yourself with the meditation stuff and actually do something tangible, like taking a load off her stress by applying for jobs and giving 100% effort in your studies. You say she doesn't really care for nurturing the cat, but do you know why? SHE'S WORKING HERSELF TO THE BONE TO TAKE CARE OF YOU. And all you've got to show for it is going to be a college probation email and no job. Once you're done crying, get out and prove to the world that you have the right and a reason to exist.
I expect to see you do many great things. Don't disappoint me.
On March 20 2011 16:21 fOrQQ wrote: Let me preface this by saying that if you are clinically depressed (ie. MEDICALLY), you should see a doctor. However, reading all this pathetic shit (not you personally, just the stuff you are spouting) makes me go into rage mode.
If you are being moody and angsty, all I have to say to you is to MAN THE FUCK UP. Take your grandfather as a role model and start living life. Sitting around moping that you're gonna be a college dropout, the world is bleak and all that bullshit isn't going to help you or anyone else.
Your grandfather probably didn't have a choice to serve, but he took what he was given and is a fucking hero. Trust me, the world was just as dangerous then, if not more than the current times. You think the world is a sad place? It isn't going to get better by you sitting on your existentialist ass crying about it. You're facing college dropout? Study up and succeed. You don't have friends? Go out and socialize. You don't have a job? For fuck's sake, I know the economy is still recovering from a recession but you could at least put yourself out there for a job by mass sending resumes. You think the world in general is a sad place? You can start making it better by volunteering locally (food bank? homeless shelter?) or take part in literally THOUSANDS of international organizations that strive to make the world a better place.
Unless you are medically depressed, there is no reason you can't succeed in any of the above. And even then, I know many have strived and succeeded. Contrary to what people are saying nowadays, you are not some special little primadonna exception who thinks he is the only one who can see a sad depressed world.
I'm don't particularly believe in meditation, but if an hour of that a day helps you, then go for it. But by relying on it as your only way of coping, you're not much better than the hundreds of other people sitting on their ass doing nothing while complaining about the world.
What specifically angers me is that against all odds, -YOU- are alive and well compared to the millions others who have never had an education, live through a war torn region, may never have seen their parents, do not have access to basic human necessities or human rights, yet -YOU- are the one complaining about random emo bullshit without making an iota of difference to the world. Think about that. And what those children and families would do to live in a level of comfort even remotely close to yours. Again, don't take this personally, but fuck you. If the world is such a damned place, go and TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for some of our fuckups and help those people. Maybe you aren't cutout to be a college graduate. Not everyone is. But many of those people went on to become leaders and people who changed the way we live and think.
Your life sucks because you make it suck. What are you doing here wasting time on a gaming site when you are about to get kicked out of college, you have no job and no ounce of social life? I find it sad that you complain about your mom, yet she is the one putting you up and working her ass off for you. She complains about her job and is stressed BECAUSE OF YOUR LAZY ASS (well, probably not exclusively).
You really want to help her? Don't kid yourself with the meditation stuff and actually do something tangible, like taking a load off her stress by applying for jobs and giving 100% effort in your studies. You say she doesn't really care for nurturing the cat, but do you know why? SHE'S WORKING HERSELF TO THE BONE TO TAKE CARE OF YOU. And all you've got to show for it is going to be a college probation email and no job. Once you're done crying, get out and prove to the world that you have the right and a reason to exist.
I expect to see you do many great things. Don't disappoint me.
I know you're trying to help but telling someone that isn't really going to help at all.
I'm pretty sure he thought this to himself already.
It's also a LOT easier said than done for someone going through depression
edit: So I'm going through a similar situation and it's been like that for around year. I've been through a lot of shit that most people my age won't have to go through. I'll send you a PM to elaborate later but I feel like my situation is starting to get better. My grades are still horrible and I almost dropped out of college as well (and it's still very much possible as I totally fucked up this last quarter).
I used to hate/had no respect for myself. I used to compare myself to other people and see how successful they are while blaming myself for being the lazy ass I am and for all the stupid things I did in the past. I'm just now starting to forgive and accept myself so I can move forward. I know that sounds really cheesy, but it's true.
On March 20 2011 16:21 fOrQQ wrote: Let me preface this by saying that if you are clinically depressed (ie. MEDICALLY), you should see a doctor. However, reading all this pathetic shit (not you personally, just the stuff you are spouting) makes me go into rage mode.
If you are being moody and angsty, all I have to say to you is to MAN THE FUCK UP. Take your grandfather as a role model and start living life. Sitting around moping that you're gonna be a college dropout, the world is bleak and all that bullshit isn't going to help you or anyone else.
Your grandfather probably didn't have a choice to serve, but he took what he was given and is a fucking hero. Trust me, the world was just as dangerous then, if not more than the current times. You think the world is a sad place? It isn't going to get better by you sitting on your existentialist ass crying about it. You're facing college dropout? Study up and succeed. You don't have friends? Go out and socialize. You don't have a job? For fuck's sake, I know the economy is still recovering from a recession but you could at least put yourself out there for a job by mass sending resumes. You think the world in general is a sad place? You can start making it better by volunteering locally (food bank? homeless shelter?) or take part in literally THOUSANDS of international organizations that strive to make the world a better place.
Unless you are medically depressed, there is no reason you can't succeed in any of the above. And even then, I know many have strived and succeeded. Contrary to what people are saying nowadays, you are not some special little primadonna exception who thinks he is the only one who can see a sad depressed world.
I'm don't particularly believe in meditation, but if an hour of that a day helps you, then go for it. But by relying on it as your only way of coping, you're not much better than the hundreds of other people sitting on their ass doing nothing while complaining about the world.
What specifically angers me is that against all odds, -YOU- are alive and well compared to the millions others who have never had an education, live through a war torn region, may never have seen their parents, do not have access to basic human necessities or human rights, yet -YOU- are the one complaining about random emo bullshit without making an iota of difference to the world. Think about that. And what those children and families would do to live in a level of comfort even remotely close to yours. Again, don't take this personally, but fuck you. If the world is such a damned place, go and TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for some of our fuckups and help those people. Maybe you aren't cutout to be a college graduate. Not everyone is. But many of those people went on to become leaders and people who changed the way we live and think.
Your life sucks because you make it suck. What are you doing here wasting time on a gaming site when you are about to get kicked out of college, you have no job and no ounce of social life? I find it sad that you complain about your mom, yet she is the one putting you up and working her ass off for you. She complains about her job and is stressed BECAUSE OF YOUR LAZY ASS (well, probably not exclusively).
You really want to help her? Don't kid yourself with the meditation stuff and actually do something tangible, like taking a load off her stress by applying for jobs and giving 100% effort in your studies. You say she doesn't really care for nurturing the cat, but do you know why? SHE'S WORKING HERSELF TO THE BONE TO TAKE CARE OF YOU. And all you've got to show for it is going to be a college probation email and no job. Once you're done crying, get out and prove to the world that you have the right and a reason to exist.
I expect to see you do many great things. Don't disappoint me.
I know you're trying to help but telling someone that isn't really going to help at all.
I'm pretty sure he thought this to himself already.
It's also a LOT easier said than done for someone going through depression
I did make the distinction between actually being depressed (see doctor + possible meds) and thinking you're depressed. I've known more than enough people who claim they're "depressed" but are just unmotivated, lazy bastards who think they're the only ones in tune with the bleakness of the world. Not implying that OP is faking depression at all. Some people (I'm hoping in this case the OP) just need a good forceful pep talk or motivation to view life in a different perspective.
On March 20 2011 16:21 fOrQQ wrote: Let me preface this by saying that if you are clinically depressed (ie. MEDICALLY), you should see a doctor. However, reading all this pathetic shit (not you personally, just the stuff you are spouting) makes me go into rage mode.
If you are being moody and angsty, all I have to say to you is to MAN THE FUCK UP. Take your grandfather as a role model and start living life. Sitting around moping that you're gonna be a college dropout, the world is bleak and all that bullshit isn't going to help you or anyone else.
Your grandfather probably didn't have a choice to serve, but he took what he was given and is a fucking hero. Trust me, the world was just as dangerous then, if not more than the current times. You think the world is a sad place? It isn't going to get better by you sitting on your existentialist ass crying about it. You're facing college dropout? Study up and succeed. You don't have friends? Go out and socialize. You don't have a job? For fuck's sake, I know the economy is still recovering from a recession but you could at least put yourself out there for a job by mass sending resumes. You think the world in general is a sad place? You can start making it better by volunteering locally (food bank? homeless shelter?) or take part in literally THOUSANDS of international organizations that strive to make the world a better place.
Unless you are medically depressed, there is no reason you can't succeed in any of the above. And even then, I know many have strived and succeeded. Contrary to what people are saying nowadays, you are not some special little primadonna exception who thinks he is the only one who can see a sad depressed world.
I'm don't particularly believe in meditation, but if an hour of that a day helps you, then go for it. But by relying on it as your only way of coping, you're not much better than the hundreds of other people sitting on their ass doing nothing while complaining about the world.
What specifically angers me is that against all odds, -YOU- are alive and well compared to the millions others who have never had an education, live through a war torn region, may never have seen their parents, do not have access to basic human necessities or human rights, yet -YOU- are the one complaining about random emo bullshit without making an iota of difference to the world. Think about that. And what those children and families would do to live in a level of comfort even remotely close to yours. Again, don't take this personally, but fuck you. If the world is such a damned place, go and TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for some of our fuckups and help those people. Maybe you aren't cutout to be a college graduate. Not everyone is. But many of those people went on to become leaders and people who changed the way we live and think.
Your life sucks because you make it suck. What are you doing here wasting time on a gaming site when you are about to get kicked out of college, you have no job and no ounce of social life? I find it sad that you complain about your mom, yet she is the one putting you up and working her ass off for you. She complains about her job and is stressed BECAUSE OF YOUR LAZY ASS (well, probably not exclusively).
You really want to help her? Don't kid yourself with the meditation stuff and actually do something tangible, like taking a load off her stress by applying for jobs and giving 100% effort in your studies. You say she doesn't really care for nurturing the cat, but do you know why? SHE'S WORKING HERSELF TO THE BONE TO TAKE CARE OF YOU. And all you've got to show for it is going to be a college probation email and no job. Once you're done crying, get out and prove to the world that you have the right and a reason to exist.
I expect to see you do many great things. Don't disappoint me.
I know you're trying to help but telling someone that isn't really going to help at all.
I'm pretty sure he thought this to himself already.
It's also a LOT easier said than done for someone going through depression
I did make the distinction between actually being depressed (see doctor + possible meds) and thinking you're depressed. I've known more than enough people who claim they're "depressed" but are just unmotivated, lazy bastards who think they're the only ones in tune with the bleakness of the world. Not implying that OP is faking depression at all. Some people (I'm hoping in this case the OP) just need a good forceful pep talk or motivation to view life in a different perspective.
Ok I see what you mean.
And as forqq said, to "view life in a different perspective" is key.
"Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious" -Brendan Gill
Spend every last waking moment with your cat letting her know how much you love her. Make sure she is comfortable and give her all the affection you can. You'll be glad you did and you will look back on those moments and cherish them for the rest of your life.
life is both bad and good, at the same time, it all comes down to how you see it. without the 'bad' there would be no 'good' to compare it to, to show you how great things can be.
My dog died from a similar thing, had something to do with the liver not being able to process anything anymore, withered away.
The world is full of horrible things, but also amazing things. think about all the people from all over the world coming together to talk to you and read your story, what you are doing, where your life is taking you. taking an interest on a personal level.
Time will help you figuring out a way to move forward, but one thing you can start with is to just trash the idea of 22 being the prime time in your life. Im turning 27 this year and have realized my "prime time" will be around 35.
On March 20 2011 21:22 calcarus wrote: life is both bad and good, at the same time, it all comes down to how you see it. without the 'bad' there would be no 'good' to compare it to, to show you how great things can be.
My dog died from a similar thing, had something to do with the liver not being able to process anything anymore, withered away.
The world is full of horrible things, but also amazing things. think about all the people from all over the world coming together to talk to you and read your story, what you are doing, where your life is taking you. taking an interest on a personal level.
Hamlet: What have you, my good friends, deserv'd at the hands of Fortune, that she sends you to prison hither?
Guildenstern: Prison, my lord?
Hamlet: Denmark's a prison.
Rosencrantz: Then is the world one.
Hamlet: A goodly one, in which there are many confines, wards, and dungeons, Denmark being one o' th' worst.
Rosencrantz: We think not so, my lord.
Hamlet: Why then 'tis none to you; for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so. To me it is a prison.
EPT
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