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No this is not a rantblog (technically it is) and no this is not an emo look at life. This is my life, my life it is. I shouldn't take anything for granted, I know that, 1 billion people do not have the comfort of a home or food on a daily basis. Also, I am going to exaggerate very much. So yeah here goes:
Boring and underwhelming. My life feels like this all the frickin' time. Maybe a little clarification on my side is somewhat valuable. I am going to be very personal right now.
My name is Ensar and I live in the Netherlands. My native language is Turkish, and both my parents come from there. I was born in the Netherlands and I am 15 years old. My parents had a divorce when I was 12 years old, my father beat my mother up quite often. Me and my sister still visit my father and I sleep at his house sometimes. School sucks, I really REALLY hate it. It is fucking boring, so many stereotypes walk those halls, everybody is so pretentious it creeps me out and there are only groups and no interesting individuals. Thank God I have two very good girlfriends (friends) Mara and Iris (no im not gay lol). I love Starcraft: Brood War with all my heart, it makes me happy, just happy. FlaSh is my favourite player of all time. Just his playstyle, appearance, his everything, damn I love that guy he is my idol. Maybe because I want to be like him so much. FlaSh started his career on his 15th and I am 15 so yeah. Th Problem is I have no money to buy starcraft 2 and a new computer cause my current one is not good enough. Even if I had a good enough computer for sc2, my mother wouldnt let me play for more than 2 hours a day because of school hurpadurp. I am currently playing brood war competitively but I suck at it, although I have watched the brood war proscene since my 13th so yeah I am putting my hopes in sc2 to become a pro. And no this is not a childish dream, this is my future. I AM GONNA BE A PROGAMER IN SC2. To buy a new pc and sc2 I need money, I have a job at a grocery store, a really crappy job and I do not like the people working there, and do not like my bosses.
And I know some poeple wont understand my situation and go like: dude get a gf blabla, lol my self esteem is low and i have not yet hit puberty (awkward stage pre-) and I rarely getg happy from anything these days, only starcraft is what i think the most awesome thing ever, and I lurk tl for a hour a day or something? TL is awesomesauce, great community and I just wanted to get this off my back cause my mother and sister call me crazy because i wake up on saturdays and sundays at 6 in the monring (shitty european times) to watch live proleague but its fucking worth it. IT IS FUCKING WORTH EVERY SECOND. Oh and i think swearing makes me look cool on the interwebz. And I dont like this kind of communicating because i feel like if you dont know ME than you cant understand me at least i hope the opposite. Well that was it I think and oh yeah getting really low grades at school (dont think im dumb, school system is different in the netherlands) and i think im not going to pass this year but yeah im seriously considering dropping out of school and playing sc/2 nonstop if i have it to become a progamer, I will become a progamer, RECOGNIZE BITCHES :p.
so this has helped me how? lol
  
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sorry for my grammar and interpunction, english isnt my first language
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Stay in school. Get good grades.
This is the only advice I will give you and I know you will not follow it.
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Endure, life gets better with every year, growing up is da bomb.
Edit: Stay in school, but realize that you dont need to get a huge degree to have a good life, construction/carpentry are pretty neat jobs too. Also, keep practicing SC2, with a good mindset and pretty much anyone who can really devote himself to it can achieve greatness.
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But I mean why should I? I know what I want to become and I don't fucking need a buffer, I want to emigrate to South-Korea at some point so yeah... And I'm pressured by my father to go to college because he never went to college so it's an undescribed rule that I hae to go to college at some point. And I don't really care about school anymore no, Oh and I have concentration problems I cannot learn for school, really weird. Can learn just fucking vocabulary, I just can't.
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.. have u played sc2? i get the feeling u havnt played it... its no broodwar to say the least
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@ entertaining, no havent played it once, gonna play it with a classmate who has the game, but ive seen many many vods
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On October 23 2010 06:23 KTF_CloaK wrote:
@ entertaining, no havent played it once, gonna play it with a classmate who has the game, but ive seen many many vods
lol. Seeing "many many vods" doesn't mean a thing. What was your rank on iccup for BW?
I saw your profile and I don't think you can tell the difference between loving to do something and loving to watch something. I don't think Boxer ditches practice to watch proleague.
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You sound like a normal 15 year old. Hormones can be a real fun thing at your age.
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Lol, maybe you are right but sc2 is more casual I feel and I really want to give it a shot and be a progamer  I definitely think I have the willpower and discipline (disregarding the concentration problems at school) and im really really determined I like soith korea more than my own country lol (turkey) and the culture is so bad-ass and ofcourse starcraft :D
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have u even been to south korea...?
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Get some exersize. Go run for 1 mile everyday. The endorphines help stave off depression. Things start to work themselves out from that point.
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you wont be capable of going pro unless you get training at ur age. Otherwise it takes a guy who is 18yrsold+++ who thinks outside the box constantly. im being dead serious :D
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thats why i am saving up :D and i can run but i am kinda chubby and do not have such a great condition, can you get endorphines from riding a bike too?
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you can do it! good luck man, practice every chance you have and make sure your mechanics are perfect. Just be patient and You'll get your pc and SC2. Don't watch too much sc, its a trap, playing is more important.
Make sure to keep your parents calm so they don't kick you out.
Also make it to university or college, then you can do the easiest thing possible that takes like one hour a day to get decent grades in and just play SC2 all the time.
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when I was 15 my grades suffered but I'm a fucking bad-ass player for Counter-Strike in 2001 (winning all the major tournaments = making cash at this age) but I was so fucking dumb because all I can think of is counter strike 24/7 (to the point, I can't answer who the hell is our national hero)
Good luck with it, you'll become the best in a fantasy setting but IRL you might suck big time.
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The older you get (as a guy, it's different with ladies ^^), the better everything else gets.
Don't worry, you'll know what I mean when you are 20 yo and in college.
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EPT
