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Hyrule19045 Posts
So some of you may remember my earlier blog posting, where I talked (hah...a single paragraph) about having 8 shots at a lunch for a coworker's birthday.
Well today is similar, except for 2 important things:
1. I didn't have breakfast today
2. I didn't have a big, greasy lunch today
And, I only had 7 shots, but that's not important.
Right now I am totally drunk. Despite this, my awesome skills of not totally sucking at English play through (which reminds of a radio show I listen to on the way to work, but that's only remotely related...in fact this entire aside means nothing and you should probably ignore it!) and I am able to type coherently, at least as far as you can tell (I've corrected soooooooo many typos already is amazing how I managed to actually spew WORDS rather than garbage nonsense).
I'm not trashed, like many college aged people will thoroughly relate too. I'm on that path to trashed which is basically:
Everything looks a little blurry, but what I'm focusing on is very clear, if a bit shakey.
Also, I'm a bit numb throughout my entire body.
Which is cool. Normally I have dry knuckles (which I originally spelled without a "k", but again, wtf does that have to do with anything?), but now that I've had a few....they feel smooth. I like it. I miss the days of my early teen years (lol who misses those awkward years?) when my knuckles were totally smooth. It reminds me of the days when I didn't need extra stuff to make me feel good. Before I started smoking and drinking, and my brief stint with drugs. Also, I'm quite tired, despite having my usual amount of sleep.
This also reminds me of my college/University (just for you non-Americans, because I realize that America is full of arrogant dicks who think American-English [which btw is a recognized dialect!] [omg an aside in an aside!] is the only true form of the English language) (holy shit my aside is longer than a normal paragraph already!) when I could drink and get to this awesome state and not have to go back to work immediately.
![[image loading]](http://www.boallen.com/assets/images/randbitmap_computer.png)
Obligatory random picture to break up the wall of text
Luckily for me, I managed to get most of what I have to do today done before I started drinking. This is in part due to the fact that I didn't know I would be drinking today. So now I've got a few hours to tie up a few loose ends but mostly enjoy my drunken stupor....which is awesome because my job is really stressful. I spend anywhere from 8 to 12 hours per day staring at a computer screen writing code for a finance company. But that's not the stressful part (well it is for my eyes, at least). The stressful part is the fact that I was hired to fix this software so the company could go public. That means that if I don't finish something on schedule, the audit can't go forward and the company can't really do anything in regards to preparing for the audit, since I'm writing the software that will enable the audit to go forward.
So basically my typical day goes like this:
Boss: So X must be done. How long will it take?
Me:
Boss: unacceptable! Do it in !!
Me: I'll try to have it done in , but it can't be done and tested in much less than
Boss: You either do it or don't, there isn't any "try" or "almost done" (yoda shit wtf?)
Me: Okay, I'll get it done.
*end of the day*
Boss: Is it done?
Me: I'm about 70% done, what remains is
Boss: No. Done or not done, those are the only answers.
Me: It's not done.
Boss: *insert rant filled with curses here*
Me: I'll finish it.
So basically, every day I go home completely stressed out about my work. But today (like some other days, but very few) went like this:
Me: *work work work*
Boss: *pours 7 shots for me*
Me: *writes this blog post*
It's not the end of the day, so we'll see how well it goes.
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What is that image supposed to be, I can't see it! I'm really bad at the 3d magic eye things 
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Hyrule19045 Posts
I googled "random picture".....soo...I don't know.
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Austin10831 Posts
On October 20 2010 04:35 tofucake wrote:
Which is cool. Normally I have dry knuckles (which I originally spelled without a "k", but again, wtf does that have to do with anything?), but now that I've had a few....they feel smooth. I like it. I miss the days of my early teen years (lol who misses those awkward years?) when my knuckles were totally smooth. It reminds me of the days when I didn't need extra stuff to make me feel good. Before I started smoking and drinking, and my brief stint with drugs. Also, I'm quite tired, despite having my usual amount of sleep.
yeah and how come they call 'em fingers, but I've never seen 'em fing.
oh... there they go...
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wow tofu, lol. I'd love to have a boss that would poor me shots like that haha.
hope the stress isn't to much
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Your boss sounds pretty unreasonable in that last section. How does he go from being a douche to pouring you 7 shots? o.O
Also I loved how you just stuck a random picture in there to break the wall of text lol
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Hyrule19045 Posts
On October 20 2010 04:44 StorrZerg wrote:
wow tofu, lol. I'd love to have a boss that would poor me shots like that haha.
hope the stress isn't to much
Dunno..last night I was writing a report (not like a report, but imagine writing Excel and then using that to generate a report) and he was like "we're not leaving until it's done, go fix it" and then an hour later when I've completely proven him wrong I come to say "hey it works" and it turns out he went home 45 minutes ago...god dammit,
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Being drunk at work is difficult for me. I've only done it once when I worked at a fast food joint and we were closing up. I was very doing a very sloppy job cleaning up hahaha
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where can I get your job? I think I would do really well there. lol.
On October 20 2010 04:44 BroOd wrote:Show nested quote +On October 20 2010 04:35 tofucake wrote:
Which is cool. Normally I have dry knuckles (which I originally spelled without a "k", but again, wtf does that have to do with anything?), but now that I've had a few....they feel smooth. I like it. I miss the days of my early teen years (lol who misses those awkward years?) when my knuckles were totally smooth. It reminds me of the days when I didn't need extra stuff to make me feel good. Before I started smoking and drinking, and my brief stint with drugs. Also, I'm quite tired, despite having my usual amount of sleep.
yeah and how come they call 'em fingers, but I've never seen 'em fing. oh... there they go...
obscure simpsons quote ftw?
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On October 20 2010 05:20 Gene wrote:where can I get your job? I think I would do really well there. lol. Show nested quote +On October 20 2010 04:44 BroOd wrote:On October 20 2010 04:35 tofucake wrote:
Which is cool. Normally I have dry knuckles (which I originally spelled without a "k", but again, wtf does that have to do with anything?), but now that I've had a few....they feel smooth. I like it. I miss the days of my early teen years (lol who misses those awkward years?) when my knuckles were totally smooth. It reminds me of the days when I didn't need extra stuff to make me feel good. Before I started smoking and drinking, and my brief stint with drugs. Also, I'm quite tired, despite having my usual amount of sleep.
yeah and how come they call 'em fingers, but I've never seen 'em fing. oh... there they go... obscure simpsons quote ftw?
My hands are so big... they can touch anything but themselves... oh, wait.
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Hyrule19045 Posts
On October 20 2010 05:20 Gene wrote:where can I get your job? I think I would do really well there. lol. Show nested quote +On October 20 2010 04:44 BroOd wrote:On October 20 2010 04:35 tofucake wrote:
Which is cool. Normally I have dry knuckles (which I originally spelled without a "k", but again, wtf does that have to do with anything?), but now that I've had a few....they feel smooth. I like it. I miss the days of my early teen years (lol who misses those awkward years?) when my knuckles were totally smooth. It reminds me of the days when I didn't need extra stuff to make me feel good. Before I started smoking and drinking, and my brief stint with drugs. Also, I'm quite tired, despite having my usual amount of sleep.
yeah and how come they call 'em fingers, but I've never seen 'em fing. oh... there they go... obscure simpsons quote ftw? Futurama! Also, I work in Philadelphia.
If it's any help, I suggest working for a smaller company run by Russians.
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Boss pouring you shots? Nice =]
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what exactly do you work on...
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Hyrule19045 Posts
On October 20 2010 06:56 Coagulation wrote:
what exactly do you work on...
I'll answer that when I'm sober. For now, accept that it's mundane and tedious.
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On October 20 2010 04:35 tofucake wrote:So basically my typical day goes like this:
Boss: So X must be done. How long will it take?
Me: <estimated time>
Boss: unacceptable! Do it in <estimated time/2>!!
Me: I'll try to have it done in <estimated time/2>, but it can't be done and tested in much less than <estimated time>
Boss: You either do it or don't, there isn't any "try" or "almost done" (yoda shit wtf?)
Me: Okay, I'll get it done.
*end of the day*
Boss: Is it done?
Me: I'm about 70% done, what remains is <etc...>
Boss: No. Done or not done, those are the only answers.
Me: It's not done.
Boss: *insert rant filled with curses here*
Me: I'll finish it.
tell your boss it will take <estimated time>*2
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I usually roll with the ideals of not working for:
1. Russians
2. Italians
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Hyrule19045 Posts
On October 20 2010 06:56 Coagulation wrote:
what exactly do you work on...
Okay, so now I'm better.
What I do is still mundane and tedious. I write an intranet loan management and servicing software suite built on PHP and MySQL. I was hired after the original guy flaked (with about 60% completed...check out my other blog posts for more details). His work is sloppy and bad. My work is awesome and amazing. Sadly, I need to work within the structure he set up, so a lot of my time is trying to make a broken system work without changing the system. It's like trying to make a car with 3 wheels and no gas tank work normally without adding a fourth wheel or gas tank.
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Russians are usually stingy when it comes to money, I'm sure your boss is different though. Hope he doesn't loudmouth you in broken English, that gets annoying after the initial amusement is gone.
Wouldn't you prefer beer sometimes? Give him a hint or something, 7 shots sounds brutal.
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Hyrule19045 Posts
I don't like beer. And I can hold my liquor well (if I've eaten I'm usually fine up to maybe 12 shots?)
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Let me guess!
You listen to Preston & Steve in the morning?
If not FU :p
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On October 20 2010 22:55 tofucake wrote:
I don't like beer. And I can hold my liquor well (if I've eaten I'm usually fine up to maybe 12 shots?)
That's some nice tolerance, even seven 30ml shots would amount to 210ml which is definitely enough to feel real buzzed. Did your boss invite you over to his house yet? Russians make some good food (at least when they have a woman around to cook).
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EPT
