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Candy is Dandy but Liquor is Quicker

Blogs > micronesia
Post a Reply
micronesia
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States24698 Posts
October 03 2010 15:41 GMT
#1
Candy is Dandy but Liquor is Quicker

-Ogden Nash

Ogden Nash was an awesome poet that my dad introduced me to years ago. He was famous for his play on words and unique writing style (funny poetry). I'm no expert but I wanted to share a couple of noteworthy pieces.

1.
The Shrimp
by Ogden Nash

A shrimp who sought his lady shrimp
Could catch no glimpse
Not even a glimp.
At times, translucence
Is rather a nuisance.


2.
Title?
by Ogden Nash

If you should happen after dark
To find yourself in Central Park,
Ignore the paths that beckon you
And hurry, hurry to the zoo,
And creep into the tiger's lair.
Frankly you'll be safer there.


A bunch more of his poems are available here:

http://www.westegg.com/nash/

My dad still remembers decades after he studied Nash... that the name of this book was 'The Golden Trashery of Ogden Nashery' lol


***
ModeratorThere are animal crackers for people and there are people crackers for animals.
dcberkeley
Profile Joined July 2009
Canada844 Posts
October 03 2010 15:54 GMT
#2
glimp ; verb (Glimping, Glimped) To have sexual intercourse while wearing 'Aviator' glasses; Often with a non-emotional face or cool voice.

Yeah, I'm confused
Moktira is da bomb
NonY
Profile Blog Joined June 2007
8748 Posts
October 03 2010 16:08 GMT
#3
On October 04 2010 00:54 dcberkeley wrote:
glimp ; verb (Glimping, Glimped) To have sexual intercourse while wearing 'Aviator' glasses; Often with a non-emotional face or cool voice.

Yeah, I'm confused

glimp is just a shortened version of glimpse. by shortening the word he's implying an even briefer sighting than you get with a glimpse
"Fucking up is part of it. If you can't fail, you have to always win. And I don't think you can always win." Elliott Smith ---------- Yet no sudden rage darkened his face, and his eyes were calm as they studied her. Then he smiled. 'Witness.'
HuK
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
Canada1591 Posts
October 03 2010 16:51 GMT
#4
On October 04 2010 01:08 Liquid`Tyler wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 04 2010 00:54 dcberkeley wrote:
glimp ; verb (Glimping, Glimped) To have sexual intercourse while wearing 'Aviator' glasses; Often with a non-emotional face or cool voice.

Yeah, I'm confused

glimp is just a shortened version of glimpse. by shortening the word he's implying an even briefer sighting than you get with a glimpse



o teeler whisper sweet nothings into my ear
ProgamerLive like a God or die like a Slave 11:11
n.DieJokes
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States3443 Posts
October 03 2010 17:03 GMT
#5
I liked this one
MyLove + Your Love= Supa Love
Kimaker
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States2131 Posts
October 03 2010 18:15 GMT
#6
Lol, nonsense poetry/funny poetry is always a good thing to read when you need a smile. Never heard of Ogden Nash, but I think I may have to look into him now, thanks!

Also, side note, is Clan SCC active in SC2?
Entusman #54 (-_-) ||"Gold is for the Mistress-Silver for the Maid-Copper for the craftsman cunning in his trade. "Good!" said the Baron, sitting in his hall, But Iron — Cold Iron — is master of them all|| "Optimism is Cowardice."- Oswald Spengler
NonY
Profile Blog Joined June 2007
8748 Posts
October 03 2010 19:47 GMT
#7
On October 04 2010 01:51 Liquid`HuK wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 04 2010 01:08 Liquid`Tyler wrote:
On October 04 2010 00:54 dcberkeley wrote:
glimp ; verb (Glimping, Glimped) To have sexual intercourse while wearing 'Aviator' glasses; Often with a non-emotional face or cool voice.

Yeah, I'm confused

glimp is just a shortened version of glimpse. by shortening the word he's implying an even briefer sighting than you get with a glimpse



o teeler whisper sweet nothings into my ear

you have to pull down your hood...

...unless there's room for 2 in there
"Fucking up is part of it. If you can't fail, you have to always win. And I don't think you can always win." Elliott Smith ---------- Yet no sudden rage darkened his face, and his eyes were calm as they studied her. Then he smiled. 'Witness.'
micronesia
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States24698 Posts
October 12 2010 15:21 GMT
#8
I'm wild about mustard. Even on custard.
ModeratorThere are animal crackers for people and there are people crackers for animals.
emperorchampion
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
Canada9496 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-10-20 17:13:50
October 20 2010 17:08 GMT
#9
So I was at the school book fair today, and I remembered the title "Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker". I searched through the whole poetry section looking for a book by this title. Lo and behold, and almost the very end of my search I found a book with a funny looking cover, with the title "The Face is Familiar, The Best Verse Of Ogden Nash". Now, I couldn't exactly remember the authour's name from this thread, but I was certain that this was the same guy. After purchasing the book for a whole $2.00, I dashed back to my room, checked this thread, and was pleasantly relieved. I now have 281 poems of Ogden Nash.

Procrastination is All of the Time

Torpor and sloth, torpor and sloth,
These are the cooks that unseason the broth.
Sloth and torp, slothor and torp
THe directest of bee-line ambitions can warp.
He who is slothic, he who is troporal,
Will not be promoted to sergeant or corporal.
No torporer drowsy, no comatose slother
Will make a good banker, not even an author.
Torpor I deprecate, sloth I deplore,
Torpor is tedious, sloth a bore.
Sloth is a bore, torpor is tedious,
Fifty parts comatose, fifty tragedious.
How drear, on a planet redundant with woes,
That sloth is not slumber, nor torpor repose.
That the innocent joy of not getting things done
Simmers sulkily down to plain not having fun.
You smile in the morn like a bride in her bridalness
At the thought of a day of nothing but idleness.
By midday you're slipping, by evening a lunatic,
A perusing-the-newspapers-all-afternoonatic,
Worn to a wraith from the half-hourly jount
After glasses of water you didn't want,
And at last when onto your pallet you creep,
You discover yourself too tired to sleep.

O torpor and sloth, torpor and sloth,
These are the cooks that unseason the broth,
Torpor is harrowing, sloth it is irksome-
Everyone ready? Let's go out and worksome.


Also, I'm just going to say that I picked this poem because I had originally planned to do Physics- however, I ended up searching through books for almost two hours.

And on that note, I have to go to class.
TRUEESPORTS || your days as a respected member of team liquid are over
micronesia
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States24698 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-10-21 01:30:03
October 21 2010 01:29 GMT
#10
On October 21 2010 02:08 emperorchampion wrote:
So I was at the school book fair today, and I remembered the title "Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker". I searched through the whole poetry section looking for a book by this title. Lo and behold, and almost the very end of my search I found a book with a funny looking cover, with the title "The Face is Familiar, The Best Verse Of Ogden Nash". Now, I couldn't exactly remember the authour's name from this thread, but I was certain that this was the same guy. After purchasing the book for a whole $2.00, I dashed back to my room, checked this thread, and was pleasantly relieved. I now have 281 poems of Ogden Nash.

Show nested quote +
Procrastination is All of the Time

Torpor and sloth, torpor and sloth,
These are the cooks that unseason the broth.
Sloth and torp, slothor and torp
THe directest of bee-line ambitions can warp.
He who is slothic, he who is troporal,
Will not be promoted to sergeant or corporal.
No torporer drowsy, no comatose slother
Will make a good banker, not even an author.
Torpor I deprecate, sloth I deplore,
Torpor is tedious, sloth a bore.
Sloth is a bore, torpor is tedious,
Fifty parts comatose, fifty tragedious.
How drear, on a planet redundant with woes,
That sloth is not slumber, nor torpor repose.
That the innocent joy of not getting things done
Simmers sulkily down to plain not having fun.
You smile in the morn like a bride in her bridalness
At the thought of a day of nothing but idleness.
By midday you're slipping, by evening a lunatic,
A perusing-the-newspapers-all-afternoonatic,
Worn to a wraith from the half-hourly jount
After glasses of water you didn't want,
And at last when onto your pallet you creep,
You discover yourself too tired to sleep.

O torpor and sloth, torpor and sloth,
These are the cooks that unseason the broth,
Torpor is harrowing, sloth it is irksome-
Everyone ready? Let's go out and worksome.


Also, I'm just going to say that I picked this poem because I had originally planned to do Physics- however, I ended up searching through books for almost two hours.

And on that note, I have to go to class.



Haha that's cool.

Also physics <3

User was warned for this post
ModeratorThere are animal crackers for people and there are people crackers for animals.
emperorchampion
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
Canada9496 Posts
October 21 2010 01:39 GMT
#11
On October 21 2010 10:29 micronesia wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 21 2010 02:08 emperorchampion wrote:
So I was at the school book fair today, and I remembered the title "Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker". I searched through the whole poetry section looking for a book by this title. Lo and behold, and almost the very end of my search I found a book with a funny looking cover, with the title "The Face is Familiar, The Best Verse Of Ogden Nash". Now, I couldn't exactly remember the authour's name from this thread, but I was certain that this was the same guy. After purchasing the book for a whole $2.00, I dashed back to my room, checked this thread, and was pleasantly relieved. I now have 281 poems of Ogden Nash.

Procrastination is All of the Time

Torpor and sloth, torpor and sloth,
These are the cooks that unseason the broth.
Sloth and torp, slothor and torp
THe directest of bee-line ambitions can warp.
He who is slothic, he who is troporal,
Will not be promoted to sergeant or corporal.
No torporer drowsy, no comatose slother
Will make a good banker, not even an author.
Torpor I deprecate, sloth I deplore,
Torpor is tedious, sloth a bore.
Sloth is a bore, torpor is tedious,
Fifty parts comatose, fifty tragedious.
How drear, on a planet redundant with woes,
That sloth is not slumber, nor torpor repose.
That the innocent joy of not getting things done
Simmers sulkily down to plain not having fun.
You smile in the morn like a bride in her bridalness
At the thought of a day of nothing but idleness.
By midday you're slipping, by evening a lunatic,
A perusing-the-newspapers-all-afternoonatic,
Worn to a wraith from the half-hourly jount
After glasses of water you didn't want,
And at last when onto your pallet you creep,
You discover yourself too tired to sleep.

O torpor and sloth, torpor and sloth,
These are the cooks that unseason the broth,
Torpor is harrowing, sloth it is irksome-
Everyone ready? Let's go out and worksome.


Also, I'm just going to say that I picked this poem because I had originally planned to do Physics- however, I ended up searching through books for almost two hours.

And on that note, I have to go to class.



Haha that's cool.

Also physics <3

User was warned for this post


Sheesh, shape up you posting micronesia
TRUEESPORTS || your days as a respected member of team liquid are over
micronesia
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States24698 Posts
October 21 2010 01:43 GMT
#12
On October 21 2010 10:39 emperorchampion wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 21 2010 10:29 micronesia wrote:
On October 21 2010 02:08 emperorchampion wrote:
So I was at the school book fair today, and I remembered the title "Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker". I searched through the whole poetry section looking for a book by this title. Lo and behold, and almost the very end of my search I found a book with a funny looking cover, with the title "The Face is Familiar, The Best Verse Of Ogden Nash". Now, I couldn't exactly remember the authour's name from this thread, but I was certain that this was the same guy. After purchasing the book for a whole $2.00, I dashed back to my room, checked this thread, and was pleasantly relieved. I now have 281 poems of Ogden Nash.

Procrastination is All of the Time

Torpor and sloth, torpor and sloth,
These are the cooks that unseason the broth.
Sloth and torp, slothor and torp
THe directest of bee-line ambitions can warp.
He who is slothic, he who is troporal,
Will not be promoted to sergeant or corporal.
No torporer drowsy, no comatose slother
Will make a good banker, not even an author.
Torpor I deprecate, sloth I deplore,
Torpor is tedious, sloth a bore.
Sloth is a bore, torpor is tedious,
Fifty parts comatose, fifty tragedious.
How drear, on a planet redundant with woes,
That sloth is not slumber, nor torpor repose.
That the innocent joy of not getting things done
Simmers sulkily down to plain not having fun.
You smile in the morn like a bride in her bridalness
At the thought of a day of nothing but idleness.
By midday you're slipping, by evening a lunatic,
A perusing-the-newspapers-all-afternoonatic,
Worn to a wraith from the half-hourly jount
After glasses of water you didn't want,
And at last when onto your pallet you creep,
You discover yourself too tired to sleep.

O torpor and sloth, torpor and sloth,
These are the cooks that unseason the broth,
Torpor is harrowing, sloth it is irksome-
Everyone ready? Let's go out and worksome.


Also, I'm just going to say that I picked this poem because I had originally planned to do Physics- however, I ended up searching through books for almost two hours.

And on that note, I have to go to class.



Haha that's cool.

Also physics <3

User was warned for this post


Sheesh, shape up you posting micronesia

From: TL.net Bot [ 16 posts | Profile | Buddy ]
Subject: Warning!
Date: 10/21/10 10:30
This is a Warning!

Do not warn yourself.

Thanks in advance for your cooperation,
micronesia

(Do not reply to this message. No one will receive it.)

+ Show Spoiler +
Just testing it lol :3
ModeratorThere are animal crackers for people and there are people crackers for animals.
Impervious
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
Canada4200 Posts
October 21 2010 01:48 GMT
#13
Lol.
~ \(ˌ)im-ˈpər-vē-əs\ : not capable of being damaged or harmed.
SCC-Faust
Profile Blog Joined November 2007
United States3736 Posts
October 21 2010 01:54 GMT
#14
On October 21 2010 10:48 Impervious wrote:
Lol.


Hey look micro now you can really use it.
You gonna let this guy get away with an acronym post?
I want to fuck Soulkey with a Zelderan.
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