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Kill Those Damned Housefiles!

Blogs > CharlieMurphy
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CharlieMurphy
Profile Blog Joined March 2006
United States22895 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-07-16 22:07:16
July 16 2010 21:35 GMT
#1
                              Holy shit my house is infested with these mother fuckers.
                              [image loading]
                                                            It's summer again.

Since I live in California (which literally translates into Hot Furnace from Spanish) and the blazing desert heats and sun come out again, so do all these fucking pests.

As I write this right now it's 91°F and 2 or 3 flies are constantly circling me searching for food or sex or whatever the fuck do during their meager 3 week lifespan. (contemplate philosophy?)

TL;DR Facts
+ Show Spoiler +
An adult female deposits 50 to 100 eggs at a time and about 500 eggs over her lifetime. The eggs are deposited in rotting organic matter. They hatch after about 12 hours and the larvae, or maggots, feed on the rotting organic material. A maggot passes through three larval stages and then forms a pupa, or cocoon. The adult fly emerges from the cocoon. Houseflies typically develop from egg to adult within 10 days.


So anyways, I have been doing some internet researching and found some key things to do and some pretty ingenious methods to controlling the populations of these in your home.
  • DEFENSE.
    Keep windows and screens and doors secured. Plug cracks with tape or toilet paper. (electric tape works best for screens). Wash fruit, and put it into the fridge or sealed containers.

  • MACRO.
    Clean your shit. Empty all those crumbs out of the toaster, clean those piles of dirty dishes in/near the sink, empty the catbox, remove stagnant water, take out the trash regularly.

  • ECONOMY.
    Keep your base in order. Don't leave windows open longer then they have to be, don't leave doors open when 'you'll be back in 1 second', clean messes as you make them, take a shower you son of a bitch.

  • MICRO.
    These fuckers don't see in normal spectrum of light like we do. They have Ultraviolet vision. Which means they are attracted to light and can see some things we cannot. They are small and dexterous so battling them out in the open is not a good idea. Choose your battles wisely. Fight them in smaller areas or just use other more harass/defensive methods.

  • OFFENSE.
    There are many methods to assaulting the swarm in your home. They range from physical assault, chemical warfare, UV light technology, and even some earth friendly 'Green' methods. The main thing to know is once they get in it's on, So kill em hard and fast before they reproduce.


After skimming that list, I'm sure some of you are curious what exactly some of these offensive capabilities are, right?

1) Fly and insect spray. This shit smells bad, tastes horrible (yes it floats into your mouth, yuk), and generally is expensive and bad for the environment (in one way or another). Most of the time it does the job, great for doing economy raids every day or so on the resource lines. It however, usually isn't cheap and is probably the least cost effective tactic.

2) Ultraviolet Bug Zappers. As stated above, these bugs see in UV and they are attracted to it. They are unaware that it is their doom. These cost power and the light can be annoying via sound or dim illumination at night. They must be strategically placed around the home base as defense.
These work as a defense and preventative measure but do are not as reliable by themselves. These are not as cost effective when compared to other measures.

3) Sticky Fly Paper. This stuff is almost as good as UV light but far more disgusting and invasive. Much cheaper and often more difficult to setup or use. Works decently, but not recommended.

4) Fly Swatter. The age old weapon of mass destruction. The gift that just keeps on giving, or taking depending on your viewpoint. This workhorse will get the job done 99% of the time but really requires heavy micro and timing. The major downsides of this weapon are; cleanup and specific use. You can't usually land a hit in the air. The flies need to be landed. Very cheap and cost effective, but messy and time consuming.

5) Alcohol Spray. Empty out an old spray bottle and fill it with your favorite proof 80% recommended. Many insects burn. Similar to Standard bug spray but much cheaper and less effective. The alcohol spray can even clean your windows streak free in the process, a 2 for 1 is always good! Beware of ignition sources as this shit is flammable and can be dangerous to other animals or small children. Very cost effective and environmentally safe method but still requires decent micro best used in combination with a more defensive measure.

6) Hairspray. Get a really fast drying mist kind (usually comes in metal bottle with 1 press as opposed to plastic squirt type). Aquanet brand works great. This technique will instantly harden their exoskeletons and wings and drop them to the floor like a tiny pebble. The panic and fear they must experience is often enough satisfaction alone. Not a very cheap or safe method and can be messy. Not really recommended unless in a pinch.

7) Goo Trap. This is by far the safest and easiest way to defend.
+ Show Spoiler [directions] +
It's very simple, heat 2 cups of water (not boil) stir in 1 cup of sugar, 1/2 cup of maple syrup, and 1/3 cup of white vinegar. Keep on heat until dissolved. Pour the mixture evenly in thoroughly cleaned out used small jelly/jam jars, yogurt cups, or cut in half fast food cups. Using a rubber band and some cling wrap stretch it over the top of the goo and secure. Poke a half a dozen holes on the top (about the size of a fly). The semi sweet/ semi pungent smell will make them go crazy.
Strategically position them in key areas around the map and retrieve in a few days and simply throw them away. Probably one of the most environmentally sound, cost effective method (you probably have all this shit just laying around your house anyways) out there. Works very well as a tank to absorb most of them. Then come back later with micro'd alcohol spray to clean up the stragglers and you've won the war with ease.

So now that you know what to do, time to get into gear and lay down the law. Jihad onto these foul terrorist shit sucking defilers.

*****
..and then I would, ya know, check em'. (Aka SpoR)
iNcontroL *
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
USA29055 Posts
July 16 2010 21:39 GMT
#2
ah yes.

A blog on how to prevent house flies from a guy who has a house infested with them
ieatkids5
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
United States4628 Posts
July 16 2010 21:40 GMT
#3
im a beast at catching flies with my hands. not too many around here, but they do get in the house and i kill them with burning fury. currently learning how to catch them with chopsticks.
Shauni
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
4077 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-07-16 21:41:08
July 16 2010 21:40 GMT
#4
[image loading]

They're way worse here.
I'm taking whatever coverage I can get, because frankly, I'm busy working on this million dollar deal at my job. Early retirement is a good thing brotha man. - MessengerASL
CharlieMurphy
Profile Blog Joined March 2006
United States22895 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-07-16 21:41:36
July 16 2010 21:41 GMT
#5
On July 17 2010 06:39 {88}iNcontroL wrote:
ah yes.

A blog on how to prevent house flies from a guy who has a house infested with them


yes, now I am off to war to destroy the infidels.
..and then I would, ya know, check em'. (Aka SpoR)
speedphlux
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Bulgaria962 Posts
July 16 2010 21:51 GMT
#6
Most awesome blog I've read on TL for a long time !
Nice work dude :D
... Humanity Is Not What I Suffer From ...
Tonkerchen
Profile Blog Joined June 2006
680 Posts
July 16 2010 21:52 GMT
#7
On July 17 2010 06:40 Shauni wrote:
[image loading]

They're way worse here.

indeed.
but broodmother with assault cuirass, butterfly, boots of travel, bkb and 2x divine rapier = ez win.

j/k, fortunately I have 2 spiders in my room turtling in the corner of the ceiling the whole time.
so their web fucking pwns 'em. just take care that you don't open the window when the lamps are still switched on, otherwise the mosquitos will rush in lol.
The time is just an illusion... created by mankind... /// Lee Young Ho last Bonjwa on earth! /// «I'll... destroy everyone in 2009. Ok...? Thank you.» - Ma Jae Yoon - Maestro Of Zerg
pokeyAA
Profile Blog Joined February 2004
United States936 Posts
July 16 2010 21:55 GMT
#8
I heavily disagree. There is no expense and cost too great in spraying the shit out out of a room and hearing the death buzzes of 10+ flies. There is no nasty shit to clean up, and I personally enjoy taking still conscious flies and throwing them outside in spider webs and in front of ant patrols. Their frantic buzzings brings a warm feeling of joy to my heart.
spinesheath
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
Germany8679 Posts
July 16 2010 21:55 GMT
#9
I am much more concerned with mosquitoes...

Try to sleep in a hot and damp room or open a window and let 20 of those beasts in that won't let me get any sleep either? There's a net on my window to prevent them from getting in, but they don't care... Probably got tunneling claws or something like that.
If you have a good reason to disagree with the above, please tell me. Thank you.
CharlieMurphy
Profile Blog Joined March 2006
United States22895 Posts
July 16 2010 21:58 GMT
#10
Just finished making my goo traps and wow, they went fucking nuts in the kitchen while it was finishing cooking. Can't wait to see them sneak into the cups and get stuck and drown.
..and then I would, ya know, check em'. (Aka SpoR)
CharlieMurphy
Profile Blog Joined March 2006
United States22895 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-07-16 22:05:52
July 16 2010 22:00 GMT
#11
On July 17 2010 06:55 pokeyAA wrote:
I heavily disagree. There is no expense and cost too great in spraying the shit out out of a room and hearing the death buzzes of 10+ flies. There is no nasty shit to clean up, and I personally enjoy taking still conscious flies and throwing them outside in spider webs and in front of ant patrols. Their frantic buzzings brings a warm feeling of joy to my heart.

damn I forgot about biological warfare. hunting for spiders and placing them in your windows works great. It is a bit time consuming though and then you end up like the old woman who swallowed the fly. I don't know why she swallowed that fly.
..and then I would, ya know, check em'. (Aka SpoR)
404.Delirium
Profile Joined May 2008
United States1190 Posts
July 16 2010 22:07 GMT
#12
Another thing I've been considering is purchasing a Venus Fly Trap for the ones that get inside
seriously next disrespectful comment in this blog is ip ban. Be happy or get the hell out. // SC2 is like playing with neutral-colored Play-Doh while BW is like colorful Legos.
CharlieMurphy
Profile Blog Joined March 2006
United States22895 Posts
July 16 2010 22:07 GMT
#13
On July 17 2010 07:07 404.Delirium wrote:
Another thing I've been considering is purchasing a Venus Fly Trap for the ones that get inside

In my experience the small ones you can buy at home depot or whatever usually die or just don't work as well as you'd think they do.
..and then I would, ya know, check em'. (Aka SpoR)
shieldbreak
Profile Joined February 2010
United States406 Posts
July 16 2010 22:10 GMT
#14
It's pretty easy to kill them w/ a good old newspaper.
Many a sleepless nights were spent doing absolutely nothing.
bearbuddy
Profile Blog Joined February 2009
3442 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-07-16 22:19:34
July 16 2010 22:14 GMT
#15
On July 17 2010 07:07 404.Delirium wrote:
Another thing I've been considering is purchasing a Venus Fly Trap for the ones that get inside


Once the traps close, they don't open again...and they're very expensive. =( Or else it would be pretty awesome to have one around.

Edit: wait. I'm mistaken. They do open back up again, just takes like 10 days.
SonuvBob
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
Aiur21550 Posts
July 16 2010 22:14 GMT
#16
Flies make great cat toys.
Administrator
Empyrean
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
17029 Posts
July 16 2010 22:15 GMT
#17
If I had only known this a few weeks ago. Back at the previous house I was staying at, there were houseflies EVERYWHERE. I ended up keeping my room really dark and then drawing the blinds. The flies would be attracted to the light, and then I'd kill them with a paperback book I didn't care about. I left their carcasses there on the window so I could have a little trophy window XD
Moderator
Excalibur_Z
Profile Joined October 2002
United States12240 Posts
July 16 2010 22:17 GMT
#18
It's clear that in order to take out these flies you're going to need to train. I recommend Mario Paint's Coffee Break game as it should provide great practice so you can hone your skills. SWAT THOSE FLIES!
Moderator
d3_crescentia
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
United States4054 Posts
July 16 2010 22:21 GMT
#19
If your flies like to linger twindows even a soapy water spray will work. Because of their vision they'll fly into the window s trying to escape only to be stopped and caught in the line of fire.
once, not long ago, there was a moon here
Dienosore
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Brunei Darussalam622 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-07-16 22:32:05
July 16 2010 22:29 GMT
#20
Flies are easy, man. It's all about prevention.

My gandma taught me this trick - Just hang a plastic ziplock bag full of water in the doorway or window that you want to leave open and they wont come in. Their big eyeballs dont like the killer reflections they get from the water.

[image loading]

Also, that huge mosquito earlier in this thread is a MALE mosquito. Males don't bite and instead eat fruit juices. It's the tiny females that you have to worry about.
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