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Active: 6900 users

The greatest troll I've ever seen.

Blogs > Diuqil
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Diuqil
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
United States307 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-07-07 23:12:29
July 07 2010 22:03 GMT
#1
http://www.amazon.com/gp/cdp/member-reviews/A24L13Q1GJAS6U/ref=cm_pdp_rev_all?ie=UTF8&sort_by=MostRecentReview

I'm posting this because I think TL will really laugh at this guys reviews and how he trolls normal every day people who don't use their computer often.

Like holy shit man, I didn't even know you could troll from AMAZON! This guy is pretty awesome.

About to add my favorite ones :x


http://www.amazon.com/review/R1T93IW06WO7N3/ref=cm_aya_cmt?ie=UTF8&ASIN=B000ETQRCM#wasThisHelpful

Love the comments on this one.

Baksteen
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Netherlands438 Posts
July 07 2010 22:05 GMT
#2
Nice attempt. Don't think it's fun to troll about stuff like world war and dead people though. Otherwise he's quite good :p
Derp Derp Derp
YPang
Profile Blog Joined April 2007
United States4024 Posts
July 07 2010 22:08 GMT
#3
On July 08 2010 07:05 Baksteen wrote:
Nice attempt. Don't think it's fun to troll about stuff like world war and dead people though. Otherwise he's quite good :p

well a good troll don't care if its about world wars or your dead grandpa.
sMi.Gladstone | BW: B high| SC2: gold T_T
Foreplay
Profile Joined May 2008
United States1154 Posts
July 07 2010 22:09 GMT
#4
jesus those are long. What a dedicated troll.
Better than Pokebunny
QueueQueue
Profile Joined July 2009
Canada1000 Posts
July 07 2010 22:10 GMT
#5
Pretty funny stuff. The comments to his reviews are hilarious.
EPO
Profile Joined August 2009
Canada341 Posts
July 07 2010 22:10 GMT
#6
too long

User was temp banned for this post.
TadH
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Canada1846 Posts
July 07 2010 22:11 GMT
#7
TL;DR

User was temp banned for this post.
HezzerBoy
Profile Joined May 2010
Canada59 Posts
July 07 2010 22:11 GMT
#8
ROFL!!!!!!!!!!! k that is funny
-FTW
Dance.jhu
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States292 Posts
July 07 2010 22:14 GMT
#9
haha thanks for sharing!! this is great
It is what it is...
Mr.E
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
United States434 Posts
July 07 2010 22:14 GMT
#10
I only laughed at the part about storing vegetables but I didn't read the girl's journal.. or his other retardedly long reviews
Looking for top-tier practice partners, especially Z; PM me
Diuqil
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
United States307 Posts
July 07 2010 22:15 GMT
#11
Also, if you guys feel you have found a pretty funny one PM me or post here and I will add to the op :p
maneatingshoe
Profile Joined April 2009
Canada484 Posts
July 07 2010 22:19 GMT
#12
I just spent way too long reading those, they're all pretty brilliant
DemiSe
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
883 Posts
July 07 2010 22:27 GMT
#13
That is one dedicated troll, really looong review.
Let's See Who's Stronger, Your Tricks, Or My Skills.
SilentCrono
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States1420 Posts
July 07 2010 22:40 GMT
#14
tl;dr

User was temp banned for this post.
♞ Your soul will forever be lost in the void of a horse. ♞
TaaiJoeng
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Hong Kong164 Posts
July 07 2010 22:42 GMT
#15
LOL What a funny guy.
...but the parasites say NO!
L_Master
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States8017 Posts
July 07 2010 22:46 GMT
#16
Lol! That was pretty funny, as is his profile. I could see how someone might mistake his review for being serious, but once you seen his profile it should all be clear.
EffOrt and Soulkey Hwaiting!
3clipse
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
Canada2555 Posts
July 07 2010 22:53 GMT
#17
I agree with about half of those. Amusing stuff.
Abenson
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Canada4122 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-07-07 22:55:04
July 07 2010 22:54 GMT
#18
I especially love the Oprah one, that is, in my opinion, quite truthful.
The only problem is that the review/trolls are a bit too long though D:
Otherwise, it's really amazing

Edit:
I know I put "too long" in my comment, please don't ban me D:
SleepSheep
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Canada344 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-07-07 23:03:55
July 07 2010 22:57 GMT
#19
looool,
i like it.

there was this other person on IMDB.com who i found awhile ago that did something similar pretty well. they basically posed as a concerned mom and trolled the forums for every children's movie that had a hint of sexuality in it. i'll come back and post if i have time to find it.

edit: the only book he didn't troll was the first review he did. that's so out of character.
Jayme
Profile Blog Joined February 2009
United States5866 Posts
July 07 2010 22:59 GMT
#20
On July 08 2010 07:54 Abenson wrote:
I especially love the Oprah one, that is, in my opinion, quite truthful.
The only problem is that the review/trolls are a bit too long though D:
Otherwise, it's really amazing

Edit:
I know I put "too long" in my comment, please don't ban me D:


This is what makes the difference between a good and a bad troll.

This guy puts effort into it sir.
Python is garbage, number 1 advocate of getting rid of it.
Diuqil
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
United States307 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-07-07 23:08:38
July 07 2010 23:04 GMT
#21
On July 08 2010 07:59 Jayme wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 08 2010 07:54 Abenson wrote:
I especially love the Oprah one, that is, in my opinion, quite truthful.
The only problem is that the review/trolls are a bit too long though D:
Otherwise, it's really amazing

Edit:
I know I put "too long" in my comment, please don't ban me D:


This is what makes the difference between a good and a bad troll.

This guy puts effort into it sir.


Agreed. This guy makes it seem like hes serious enough and still pisses people off.

On July 08 2010 07:57 Daimon wrote:
looool,
i like it.

there was this other person on IMDB.com who i found awhile ago that did something similar pretty well. they basically posed as a concerned mom and trolled the forums for every children's movie that had a hint of sexuality in it. i'll come back and post if i have time to find it.


Wow, that sounds great :D. please find it, I always laugh at that kind of stuff.

Oh, and I feel bad for having a blog that got 3 people banned, but hey, its happened plenty times before. I remember a blog by "Arb" I believe that had many people banned just like this or by saying cool story bro :x
ssj114
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
Afghanistan461 Posts
July 07 2010 23:18 GMT
#22
What's with the mass banning lately? Have I missed something (I admit I don't check tl.net often)? Sorry to hijack your thread. Someone please PM me why people are getting banned so frequently.

By the way, hilarious stuff on Amazon haha.
Sandboxie + SUA + DEP, Windows Firewall + NAT Router
synapse
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
China13814 Posts
July 07 2010 23:22 GMT
#23
Haha the ones on Seventeen magazine and the Oprah stuff are great xD
:)
[UoN]Sentinel
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
United States11320 Posts
July 07 2010 23:34 GMT
#24
He could be 4chan's official scribe.
Нас зовет дух отцов, память старых бойцов, дух Москвы и твердыня Полтавы
Zurles
Profile Joined February 2009
United Kingdom1659 Posts
July 07 2010 23:40 GMT
#25
On July 08 2010 08:18 ssj114 wrote:
What's with the mass banning lately? Have I missed something (I admit I don't check tl.net often)? Sorry to hijack your thread. Someone please PM me why people are getting banned so frequently.

By the way, hilarious stuff on Amazon haha.


It's because TL;DR and single sentences answers that don't add anything to the thread are bannable offences, and the influx of younger and more foolish sc2 players from other games besides brood war haven't caught on to how teamliquid works. I post it here instead of PM so others can see it.
Biochemist
Profile Blog Joined February 2009
United States1008 Posts
July 07 2010 23:51 GMT
#26
On July 08 2010 08:40 Zurles wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 08 2010 08:18 ssj114 wrote:
What's with the mass banning lately? Have I missed something (I admit I don't check tl.net often)? Sorry to hijack your thread. Someone please PM me why people are getting banned so frequently.

By the way, hilarious stuff on Amazon haha.


It's because TL;DR and single sentences answers that don't add anything to the thread are bannable offences, and the influx of younger and more foolish sc2 players from other games besides brood war haven't caught on to how teamliquid works. I post it here instead of PM so others can see it.


This. It's a necessary step to make sure Teamliquid stays Teamliquid.
Polar_Nada
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States1548 Posts
July 08 2010 00:04 GMT
#27
Wow. its amazing how people can do this. He really put much time into this !!
[ReD]NaDa and fnaticMSI.SEn fighting~! ::POlar @ UC Irvine::
hifriend
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
China7935 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-07-08 00:10:28
July 08 2010 00:09 GMT
#28
Haha this is trolling at its finest. Read his interests on his profile lmao.

edit: and moderators, keep up the amazing work in keeping this site awesome.
Hesmyrr
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Canada5776 Posts
July 08 2010 00:09 GMT
#29
Question: How does "tl;dr" warrant a temp ban on this blog site? I thought it was humorous jape at how the troll in question spent so much words writing his review. I would definitely laugh at the thought of troll writing this massive review thinking "har har I can't wait to see the reactions" only to be confronted by the wall of "tl;dr "
"If watching the MSL finals makes you a progamer, then anyone in Korea can do it." - Ha Tae Ki
hifriend
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
China7935 Posts
July 08 2010 00:12 GMT
#30
On July 08 2010 09:09 Hesmyrr wrote:
Question: How does "tl;dr" warrant a temp ban on this blog site? I thought it was humorous jape at how the troll in question spent so much words writing his review. I would definitely laugh at the thought of troll writing this massive review thinking "har har I can't wait to see the reactions" only to be confronted by the wall of "tl;dr "

Um, this isn't amazon, this is tl.net.
johnlee
Profile Joined June 2009
United States242 Posts
July 08 2010 00:17 GMT
#31
The reviewer's Interests section:

"As a patriot, Catholic, and most importantly morally clear human being, the preoccupations that interest me include only the ones which can benefit America and society in general. My interests chronicle faithfully my fated duty to fight liberalism to its inevitable end where all of mankind will acknowledge that conservatism is the only ideology that's wholesome and logical. This includes always being principled and maintaining my righteous convictions in the face of ALL adversity including liberal persecution in the distorted pop culture, fomented by the liberal media.

As such some of my hobbies are:

I like to give money to charity, though NOT--I cannot repeat this enough--ever to either Muslim charities (fronts for terrorists) or unanswerable groups like the International Red Cross which don't track where their money ends up.

I like to cruise around for prostitutes and go to strippers in the salacious establishments which are the shame of any REAL man called "gentlemen's clubs," but NOT for the reasons you may presume. I cruise for prostitutes routinely in order to proselytize them to surrender their depraved lifestyle, which will only encourage them to be liberals, and instead get an education and become religious, which will imminently lead them being of the more noble conservative ideology. In strip clubs, I pay for "private rooms" with the lustful harlots, who've no self-confidence, to also proselytize them to turn away from the liberalism that stripping encourages them to obey and instead get an education, go to church and become a conservative.

I also love to drive my gas-guzzling SUV all over the city just to provoke liberals who call themselves environMENTALISTS.

I stand outside abortion clinics and educate amoral, trailer trash-like, young, unwed "mothers" about how they're committing murder and how their fetus WILL feel pain when they abort. I encourage them to at least instantly notify their damn parents!

In and around airports, I like to profile Muslim/Arab-looking men since the majority of terrorists comes from that demographic.

After receiving my share of Bush's tax cuts for small businesses, I like to support the economy by spending.

I love to encourage young men and women to join ANY of the armed services, especially to fight in preemptive wars like Iraq which will benefit the security of future generations of Americans.

I love to pray and wear a cross around my neck in the most public of places, and I insist that my employer allows me to lead prayer in the workplace.

I love that my taxpayer dollars are used to give Israel the most amount of foreign aid of any country.

I lobby the government to immediately CUT OFF foreign aid to third-world countries who refuse economic reform as a precondition for my tax dollar charity.



Marx's Commmunist Manifesto, Fatwas from Islamofascists, Democrats' "Platform," Mein Kampf, and related books from Al Franken, Paul Begala/James Carville, Molly Ivins, Maureen Dowd, Seymour Hersh, David Corn, et al.

You see, to fight and then subsequently vanquish the liberal enemies, I have to know the enemy better than he knows himself!


Anything anti-American or anti-Bush or anti-government: Pearl Jam, Bruce Springsteen, Steve Earle, Dixie Chicks, Audioslave, anything punk, Nine Inch Nails, Kanye West, Rolling Stones (Mick Jagger especially), et al.

To crush the liberal enemy, I have to know what kind of psycho ideology his music includes!

Anything which cowardly degrades US policy, or pushes the liberal, counterculture, anti-traditional and socialist ideology of Hollywood. Movies like Brokeback Mountain, Syriana, Crash, The Constant Gardener, American Beauty, Fahrenheit 911, Black Hawk Down, Good Nigh and Good Luck, Capote, et al.

To finally destroy and mortify liberals in general, I have to see what kind of psycho beliefs they possess!"


AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH This guy is hilarious.

His Profile:

"I am Mad Emperor Caligula, one of history's most misunderstood renegades!!!! This vainglorious title also applies to my flawlessness in judgments of any and ALL kind especially in disciplines I target: politics, history, society, books, music, and entertainment!!!! Particularly, my political views are so unassailable and cut with the most observant and authoritative scrutiny that the Liberal Traitors who oppressively monopolize all forms of media revenge themselves like spoilt children!!!! If you, the plebeian, should perpetrate any of the following: defiantly resist my resolute beliefs, ridicule my beyond-reproach opinion, or provoke antagonism towards me for my unimpeachable judgments, then you are unequivocally THE most distasteful, unprincipled sub-human on par with sinful liberals.

Politically, if you obstinately resent voting Bush/Republican, then you're automatically stigmatized as a traitorous, gullible, easily duped victim of the Demoncrats' sensationalism; for communistic, terrorist, Arab-Islamofascist-empathizing psychosis; for internationalist terrorist-appeasement; for opposition to school vouchers; for anti-Christ irreligion; for combating dependence from foreign oil; for fighting medical liability reform; for a pro-sodomite stand; for supporting government-dictated healthcare; for environMENTALism; for minority-luring; for lower-tax-bracket advocacy; and for rejecting personal responsibility, and I've only begun to scratch the surface of your faults!!!! If you're a liberal scourge, you should scathingly realize that you're damaging America and should have your citizenship revoked and yourself extradited to a country more respectful of your socialistically Communist Nazism like North Korea, Iran, or Cuba. Your invention of destructive socialism misused for American applications desecrates the tradition and principles of America because:

You dissuade soldiers serving in combat zones.

You endanger the success of a war mission by scandalously slurring the commander-in-chief.

You moralize Islamofascists who are hellbent on murdering even you mentally ill, unqualified, defective liberals.

You longingly value and connive with desiring a Euro-trash imitation of government, social services and life.

You predatorily miseducate children and the ignorant that America's the problem in the world.

You desperately worship and subserve anti-American celebrities who plan to massacre America's reputation and its values.

You scheme to catastrophically slash budgets for defense and preemption so you unhygienic social engineers can spend it on disdainfully haughty causes like the homeless bums, AIDS needle-users, and criminals.

You shamelessly and impudently misuse filibusters to double-cross the very people who errantly voted you into office by stalling in Congress and the Senate.

You aggressively pursue a CULTURE OF DEATH where you plan to discard human life if there's a legal technicality which sadistically and vengefully advocates euthanasia.

You routinely and impenitently dictate government rights and control over the ownership-society rights of the individual, such as state governments being able to seize private residences--eminent domain.

I pray to God every night that you liberal pestilence who've ulterior motives to plunder America into Turd-world, socialist-style Communism will be sentenced to eternal burning in hell!!!! For the record, to humiliatingly disprove liberal aggressors who scheme to dishonor me as a quintessential stereotype of a neocon or conservative, I'm simply an unassuming independent who puts America first--THAT'S all!!!!

Thank you very little."

Black Gun
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Germany4482 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-07-08 00:21:32
July 08 2010 00:20 GMT
#32
indeed a skillful troll this guy...

i never thought even amazon would be a playground for trolls...
"What am I supposed to do against this?" - "Lose!" :-]
Subversion
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
South Africa3627 Posts
July 08 2010 00:28 GMT
#33
Wow...

This guy seems really passionate about his trolling. I myself prefer the "ninja troll" where you just come in and say "You're wrong." - think its even more infuriating :D
ironchef
Profile Blog Joined August 2004
Canada1350 Posts
July 08 2010 00:44 GMT
#34
haha, I've never considered Amazon as a trolling grounds. Still can't believe people are such suckers and/or get so mad on the internet though. My pet peeve on amazon tbh is people that rate shit too high.. defeats the purpose of a rating system if you dont give below 4 or 5 hehe
“Because your own strength is unequal to the task, do not assume that it is beyond the powers of man; but if anything is within the powers and province of man, believe that it is within your own compass also.” - Marcus Aurelius
moon`
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States372 Posts
July 08 2010 01:11 GMT
#35
On July 08 2010 08:34 [UoN]Sentinel wrote:
He could be 4chan's official scribe.


:o Wonder what he's doing on Amazon.
Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like pandabearguy.
Chairman Ray
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
United States11903 Posts
July 08 2010 01:37 GMT
#36
I can't believe I just read half his reviews. Some of them are really funny, but also correct in a way.
Biochemist
Profile Blog Joined February 2009
United States1008 Posts
July 08 2010 01:40 GMT
#37
I feel like he's really obvious. Judging from the comments on his reviews, most other people think so, too.
[UoN]Sentinel
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
United States11320 Posts
July 08 2010 02:11 GMT
#38
lol if i just randomly read his anne frank one, I wouldn't even think about trolling. The book sucks DICK.
Нас зовет дух отцов, память старых бойцов, дух Москвы и твердыня Полтавы
alypse
Profile Joined May 2010
2771 Posts
July 08 2010 02:31 GMT
#39
He must have spent his entire life so far on Amazon "reviewing" stuff.
KT Violet 1988 - 2012
Z3kk
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
4099 Posts
July 08 2010 02:37 GMT
#40
Yeah, the troll you mentioned got stomped pretty quickly.

On the other hand, this guy is hilarious! I randomly came upon this, and my mouth gaped at the epicness that was he. Must read imo.

Back on topic, trolling on Amazon usually fails quite hard since they patrol their site very well, and there are more educated people there.
Failure is not falling down over and over again. Failure is refusing to get back up.
GreEny K
Profile Joined February 2008
Germany7312 Posts
July 08 2010 02:37 GMT
#41
Wow, who actually decides to put time aside just to mess with people... So sad what people use their time for nowadays.
Why would you ever choose failure, when success is an option.
figq
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
12519 Posts
July 08 2010 03:05 GMT
#42
The way I view it, he's only creating a parody of such guy, which he pretends to be with these comments? Of course, he could be half-serious, but I hope he's just making the total reverse of what he actually thinks, just to show how ridiculous it looks.
If you stand next to my head, you can hear the ocean. - Day[9]
fight_or_flight
Profile Blog Joined June 2007
United States3988 Posts
July 08 2010 05:12 GMT
#43
This troll factor (reaction out/effort in) is not very high.
Do you really want chat rooms?
BottleAbuser
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
Korea (South)1888 Posts
July 08 2010 06:05 GMT
#44
I don't think this stuff is just for trolling. He obviously had a lot of run writing these, and they're pretty good. I mean, who looks at "A Modest Proposal" and says "oh obviously he was just trolling." It's art.
Compilers are like boyfriends, you miss a period and they go crazy on you.
Craton
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
United States17281 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-07-08 06:24:49
July 08 2010 06:23 GMT
#45
Ah ha! I was wondering which thread it was that lit up the automated ban thread earlier.

A Modest Proposal" and says "oh obviously he was just trolling."

I'd have loved to see someone argue that point [Swift trolling] back in my yesteryears.
twitch.tv/cratonz
cemlions
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Canada43 Posts
July 08 2010 07:16 GMT
#46
I think that he is a troll, but also one who isn't only baiting but spreading a beyond the b.s sincere message.
I knew I wasn't a noob cause I just didn't feel good when I was noobing out
QuanticHawk
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States32130 Posts
July 08 2010 13:34 GMT
#47
Quality over quantity. The best shit doesn't take you 10 minutes to read.
PROFESSIONAL GAMER - SEND ME OFFERS TO JOIN YOUR TEAM - USA USA USA
Ian Ian Ian
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
915 Posts
July 08 2010 14:20 GMT
#48
It's kind of sad. You see a troll go through all that effort to look so badass and cool because he can make fun of shit.. then realize how much time he has spent doing it and he has no life. Kind of backfired.
tyCe
Profile Joined March 2010
Australia2542 Posts
July 08 2010 15:48 GMT
#49
LOL

To be fair, his first entry gave a 4/5 for Rich Dad, Poor Dad
Betrayed by EG.BuK
Gnial
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Canada907 Posts
July 21 2010 10:18 GMT
#50
This is the greatest troll I've ever seen. Its been 45 years and he is still trolling us.

1, eh? 2, eh? 3, eh?
CharlieMurphy
Profile Blog Joined March 2006
United States22895 Posts
July 21 2010 15:36 GMT
#51
On July 08 2010 23:20 Ian Ian Ian wrote:
It's kind of sad. You see a troll go through all that effort to look so badass and cool because he can make fun of shit.. then realize how much time he has spent doing it and he has no life. Kind of backfired.

deskjob
..and then I would, ya know, check em'. (Aka SpoR)
calgar
Profile Blog Joined November 2007
United States1277 Posts
July 21 2010 21:18 GMT
#52
On July 22 2010 00:36 CharlieMurphy wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 08 2010 23:20 Ian Ian Ian wrote:
It's kind of sad. You see a troll go through all that effort to look so badass and cool because he can make fun of shit.. then realize how much time he has spent doing it and he has no life. Kind of backfired.

deskjob

Exactly... there are all kinds of mindless tasks he could be assigned to and writes on amazon to pass the time.

I think they are funny and if someone enjoys doing that then all power to them to continue. I think he could be more effective though if he camouflaged the true intent for a little longer. The longer you wonder whether he is actually being real or is just full of it, the better it is. But anyways, you can diminish anyones passions/hobbies as a waste of time and say how sad it is that they're a loser, which is completely hollow because they can say the exact same thing back to you.
WhoNeedsMacro
Profile Joined July 2010
Canada43 Posts
July 22 2010 03:49 GMT
#53
Yeah.... This is what a troll should look like... What an epic troll.
Until the day of his death, no man can be sure of his courage.
serenidite
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Korea (South)505 Posts
July 22 2010 03:56 GMT
#54
omg that is one dedicated troll. imagine the manhours needed to pull that off
lol. outstanding troll <3
" Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway."
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