EPTPeople say you make your own luck. These people are right, some of the time. Occasionally.
With that in mind, everything that has happened in this story is a direct result of my own stupidity. You can look at how things can get blown out of proportion or snowball out of your control, but inevitably it all comes down to a solitary choice that you made - as such, it's all your own damn fault. Or in this case, my fault.
In the early spring of 2007, my brother was set to be married. To avoid the chore of a big wedding and the compulsary invites of a large family of irrelevant people, he and his ms went for the Vegas experience. Myself and two of my friends booked flights from our home in Canada for the upcoming nuptials.
Bad Luck #1 - US changes border laws requiring that travelers arriving by plane will now need their Canadian passport.
Bad Luck #2 - Both of my friends have passports that will expire just shy of our trip date.
Because of the new requirements, the Canadian passport office is in heavy back-log. Normal wait times of a month are soon being replaced by wait times of 3 months, 4 months, and 6 months. Needless to say, these people will not be getting their passports in time.
Fortunately, the law will remain relaxed for those traveling by ground. I cancelled the tickets and prepared my car for the 2200 km drive to Nevada.
Bad Luck #3 - One of my fellow travelers finds himself with a bad stomach ailment that lasts for weeks. Doctors run all sorts of tests but can't decide if its colitis, crohn's or cancer. He can't leave the country.
Friend number two found this as an appropiate opportunity to bail as well, as he and his live-in girlfriend had been having a lot of issues in regards to his impromptu Vegas trip. But my brother was getting married. I had to go.
Bad Luck #4 - Freak snowstorm in Calgary.
It was D-day and I was set to leave the following morning. Forcast was calling for a large amount of snow, freezing rain, and all other sorts of goodies that night which I given the choice, I like to avoid. So I threw everything in my car and hit the road that evening, trying to beat the storm.
When I arrived at the border, it was about 2AM. Now, it is no surprise that a young male traveling along arrises a certain level of stock suspicion in a customs officer. When that person arrives at two in the goddamn morning, the suspicion soon gives way to accusation.
Bad Luck #5 - Bored border guard.
I found myself being questioned for the better part of an hour by an American customs officer with the kind of moustache you sort of expect from an American customs officer. Groomed and unforgiving.
My car was searched extensively. My laptop computer was searched. The memory card on my camera was searched and my blank CDs were listened to. This all happened without my knowledge while I sat like a dumb-shit in the main foyer, looking at posters that promised all travelers will be treated with respect.
I became aware of the searching when I was questioned about a photo on my laptop which showed a person holding what was potentially a "marijuana cigarette." To this day, I'm not sure what picture it was. Doesn't matter. The question went along the lines of "so, you do a lot of drugs huh?" Which isn't really much of a question. The rest of the questions weren't satisfied until the customs officer had me take off my shirt, pants, shoes, socks, toque, etc. (in the middle of the foyer, no less) so that he could satisfy himself that I wasn't a young drug mule from Canada.
All systems go. With no reason to hold me back, I was on my way into the great US of A. About 3 hours of travel time being lost at the border.
The details of that encounter aren't important. What is important is to understand that I left that experience with a healthy and fresh distaste for anything law-related. I could have penned Dr.Dre's next 4 albums that night.
The wedding was great, everyone had fun, etc. Soon I was making the long drive back to Canada, excited for a little R&R.
Being that the trunk of my car was deemed much safer that airline luggage transport, I found myself ferrying the more important momentos (gifts, favors, clothes) back home with me.
This presented a problem.
When I approached the border, I gave them the usual info and let them know that I had purchased an expensive suit, among other things and needed to pay claims. An issue came up when checking receipts and discovering that purchases were made in Las Vegas that morning.
"How were in Las Vegas this morning?"
"Yes"
"How did you get here so fast?"
"I drove"
"That's a long drive"
"I didn't stop"
Bad Luck #6 - Bad Timing.
I was in a hurry to get home. And as a guy who thoroughly enjoys long drives, I loved the experience. And I had to work the next day. Though I had actually stopped in Montana thinking I could use a shower and maybe get some rest. Unfortunately, I was informed that I was several hours to early and couldn't check in. Fuck it, I thought - may as well get across the border and crash somewhere in Canada. Mistake.
Long story short, he didn't like my details and my car was searched. Again. My laptop was searched. Again. I was search. Again. Adding insult to injury, I was told that the wedding favors I was carrying (it involved illegally copied music) would be conviscated as would any other recording media such as my camera's memory card. Not cool.
I got upset. Mistake.
One of the many things you shouldn't do at a border crossing (a list that includes 'joking about bombs' and breathing) is make a scene. Already hot from my previous border crossing experience, I was not having this. Again, mistake. Sit down, be quiet, take your licks, and get home safely. Things I did not do.
Naturally, my confrontational, obstructive self found his ass arrested and spent the night locked up. I was no happier the following morning when I learned that I would have to walk the 20 kms to the nearest town to get my vehicle out of the inpound. Life goes on.
At this point I thought, "this is silly, I'm sure this will all work itself out." Mistake. Nothing works out. Especially when the justice system is involved.
Bad Luck #7 - Customs officials being investigated.
One, or several of the customs officials at the crossing I used were under standard investigation which is a default practice when charges are laid by officers that don't stick. Lesson - if you're going to charge someone, make sure it's worthwhile and that it'll hold up.
So imagine my surprise when I received my package of case documents and saw that three customs officers had given sworn statements as to my behaviour and our conversations. Doesn't matter that I only ever dealt with two officers total, and only one for everything not directly involving the arrest. And the statements were verbatim, of course. And my behaviour was quite exaggerated, of course. I can be obnoxious, I can be confrontational and I can definately be arrogant. Our conversation that basically went "You can't have my stuff. No." was described as threatening - as dangerous. Two adjectives that I can't quite reconcile with.
So it's my interpretation vs. their interpretation - me, a fresh-out-of-school punk kid, them, dedicated public servants. I didn't expect to have a happy ending, but that didn't stop me from trying.
Ultimately, between traveling, missing work, and lawyering - this endevour cost me approximated 30 thousand dollars. No small sum for a kid with student loans. Naturally, I couldn't keep this up so I licked my wounds, plead guilty to a blanket charge, and went on living my life.
Of course this saddled me with a criminal record - a very minor charge but a steadfast hinderance if there every was one.
I work in a professional field. Professional certification frowns upon dirty criminals. As do many employers. Travel to conferences, training seminars, and so on can become difficult or impossible if you get a border guard on a bad day. So this had been a bit of a roadblock.
But I don't just make lemonade - I make lemon gin. I didn't want to look back on this in 10 years as a negative experience so I allowed it to inform my decisions going forward. I started a small company as a backup plan in case I hit the wall in my professional life. I started a life with a great girl and we're set to get married next summer. Turns out she's from Hong Kong (TL stereotype, fml) and has been living in Canada on student and working Visas for the past 15 years. I'm sponsoring her to get her permanent residency and Canadian citizenship - another task made tougher with a record.
In the meantime, I've had a date circled for the last three years. That's the date I can file my pardon application and remove any potential road blocks in the future. The paperwork is prepared and ready. That date is roughly a month from now.
Bad Luck #8 - Graham James, convicted Canadian pedophile is pardoned.
This story blew up in the news. People could not believe that our pardon system was so porous as to allow a child molester like Graham James to have a clean slate. Obviously drastic legislative action was needed.
The government sprang into action. Legislation was introduced that made sweeping changes to the way pardons were handled. Some made sense, such as denying sexual offenders, whereas others where knee-jerk and undefendable, such as increasing wait times. It is very, very rare for a pardoned individual to re-offend. So what do increased wait times accomplish? Clearly there is no need for additional 'rehabiliation time' as the stats show that these people go on to live their lives free of trouble. So really, all it does is inhibit the ability for people who want to get their shit back on track to do just that.
But that's ok. Government bills go through many readings, committee, and ultimately what gets passed makes more sense.
Bad Luck #9 - Karla Homolka, notorious right-hand-woman of murderer/rapist/jerkstore Paul Bernardo will be eligible to file a pardon application this July.
The government again sprang into action. Using Homolka's name as a scare tactic, they told Parliament that this bill must be considered right now ahead of other, less important things - you know, like finance, the economy, etc.
Bad Luck #10 - Summer recess.
In order to not have to work overtime and get the full three months of summer recess, the government had to agree to fast-track this bill and sidestep the usual process of discussion, writing, re-writing, and so on. This happened yesterday. A portion of the bill was forced through without the usual legislative process so that vacation could start today.
So that's where things stand. It's a chapter I want to close but it keeps being re-opened. The news I read today is conflicting. Some say I'll now have to wait a few more years before getting shit back on track, or maybe I don't. Either way, it's hilarious how this all went down.
In the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter. Life goes on.
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