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Broodwar personalities

Blogs > nath
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nath
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States1788 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-05-25 11:38:16
May 25 2010 08:22 GMT
#1
Describing the human race through the best videogame of all time:

Situation I: I need to get laid.
Terran: I'll just play it safe; won't come on to anyone right away. Let them come to me, then I can slowly and methodically respond.
Results: nope.
Zerg: I will consistently be a social animal, and jump on any opportunities that arise, and they will come as I talk to everyone and connect with them and create social value throughout the night.
Results: meh.
Protoss: I'll just use one-liners until some drunk bitch / slut just falls for me....also I happen to be handsome and cocky as hell so I can just charm them at will.
Results: We all know P players get laid the most.

Situation II: I am a civil engineer. I am designing a bridge.
Terran: looks at previous models, success rates, statistical analyses associated with the previous attribute, and cost. applies to present situation. doesnt speak, shows his underlings the blueprint of the plan they need to copy
Result: solid, unspectacular
Zerg: gets high as fuck on god only knows what combination of shit, makes a painting in his frenzied passion. tells engineers to copy it, makes changes every step of the way. Result: ends up being used as a sculpture/amusement park attraction.
Protoss: tries to use anything that is 'cool' and 'hitech' without logical justification. Throws out random ideas that are completely unfeasible and tells his underlings to make it happen.
Result: gets fired when his 'warpgate' doesnt work and immaterializes the load.

Situation III: I am hungry. I am a college student living on campus; I have no food in my apartment, I have $2. The nearest grocery store is 30 minutes walk away.
Terran: Walk to the store and buy ramen, seriously this question was EASY....
Zerg(lowecon): Steal my roommates food.
Zerg(management): Buy a nice meal on credit
Protoss: Mooch off friends.
results: well they all are alive.

Situation IV: You see day[9] at a coffee shop with his bro.

Terran:HEY MAN WHATS UP I PLAY SC I WATCH UR CASTS ALL THE FUCKING TIME OMG UR AWESOME I LOVE YOU SC BW IS AWESOME BEST GAME OF ALL TIME AMIRITE? EXCEPT NOOBY CHEESERS AND FUCKING ALL IN ZERGS AND ALL CHOBOTOSSES. (loud voice, delves into deep strategical discussion)
Day[9]: Um...um hi yeah, uh thanks.. (pretends not to know you)

Zerg: (Overlord voice impersonation while walking casually to the table)
Day[9]: Sup!

Protoss: Yo bro wassup man, you're Day[9] the sc caster right? and tasteless! man! nice to meet you
Day[9]: Sup!

Situation V: You are in a corridor with velociraptors on either direction, both advancing towards you. You have a gun, a drill, and a 30% chance to focus your mind and teleport out of the mess. What would you choose?
Terran: drill
Story: I drilled a hole and it took a while but i was barely able to jump out before the raptors got me...
Zerg: gun
Story: I didnt even aim, just shot the fuck out of that gun til they died.
Protoss: teleport
Story: Man i was like FUCK the drill or gun, even though they are pretty much guranteed solutions but when I'm talking to you guys about this shit I wanna be liek "so yeah I just like, used psionic powarz and just warped out of that shit LOL" seriously how baller is that? Plus using gun and drill require effort, who wants to do that?

Situation VI: You have an exam coming up in one week. This exam is important for your profession, its a standardized exam (think LSAT, MCAT important). What do you do?

Terran: Study 15 hours a day, every day. Don't even talk to anyone for this week. Ace the exam and then brag to your nooby Zerg and Protoss friends.
Zerg: Skim your material, read only that which interests and captivates you. Calmly take the exam, your passion for the subject will make up for not knowing the material.
Protoss: Party all week, every fucking day, to relax. Then wait until the night before to start studying. Try to cram, and take excessive amounts of caffeine; then give up and just cheat on the exam.

More to come...


Photos of our heros:
Terran:
[image loading]
Protoss:
[image loading]
Zerg:
[image loading]

Will continue to make fun of stereotypes given to bw players of respective races.



****
Founder of Flow Enterprises, LLC http://flow-enterprises.com/
Ryps
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Romania2740 Posts
May 25 2010 08:24 GMT
#2
I take it your not a terran player?
Sentenal
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
United States12398 Posts
May 25 2010 08:27 GMT
#3
Okay, I was amused a bit by some of those
"Apparently, Sentenal is a paragon of friendship and tolerance. " - Ech0ne
Rekrul
Profile Blog Joined November 2002
Korea (South)17174 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-05-25 08:28:53
May 25 2010 08:27 GMT
#4
Protoss:
[image loading]

Zerg:
[image loading]

Terran:
[image loading]
why so 진지해?
nath
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States1788 Posts
May 25 2010 08:28 GMT
#5
On May 25 2010 17:24 PaD wrote:
I take it your not a terran player?

You need to be able to poke fun at yourself man, otherwise you can't live in this world. Unlike you and others would suspect there is no bias in these, I'm just poking fun at stereotypes. I played T in BW, and playing T in sc2 as well. I am a logical, methodical person and therefore I like Terran.
Founder of Flow Enterprises, LLC http://flow-enterprises.com/
nath
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States1788 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-05-25 08:30:10
May 25 2010 08:29 GMT
#6
On May 25 2010 17:27 Rekrul wrote:
+ Show Spoiler +
Protoss:
[image loading]

Zerg:
[image loading]

Terran:
[image loading]

YES REKRUL I WAS GONNA
1)FUCKING USE THAT PIC (I SEARCHED SO MUCH FOR IT I COULDNT FIND IT ANYWHERE) FOR PROTOSS
2)PUT YOU IN ONE OF THE SITUATIONS (will do so in future)

Rekrul to me helps reinforce the P stereotype and therefore is gold in terms of material
Founder of Flow Enterprises, LLC http://flow-enterprises.com/
snotboogie
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Australia3550 Posts
May 25 2010 08:30 GMT
#7
Amazing. Simply beautiful. 5/5
Grobyc
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Canada18410 Posts
May 25 2010 08:33 GMT
#8
Heh this was kind of cool. Situation I and III were best
If you watch Godzilla backwards it's about a benevolent lizard who helps rebuild a city and then moonwalks into the ocean.
nath
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States1788 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-05-25 08:36:15
May 25 2010 08:35 GMT
#9
Really I thought 1 wasn't great, was thinking of a better way to not over-explain it so it was still funny. But the rest will be better, promise! I did these in 10 mins with not much editing.

edit: I Loved III when i made it though LOL...the sad part is even if it were an hour away, I'd walk there and buy 1 packet of ramen and pay like $.17 LOL
Founder of Flow Enterprises, LLC http://flow-enterprises.com/
Terrakin
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
United States1440 Posts
May 25 2010 08:36 GMT
#10
ahaha so good
Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs.
Rekrul
Profile Blog Joined November 2002
Korea (South)17174 Posts
May 25 2010 08:38 GMT
#11
Waiter comes in and plops a girl right next to artosis. Artosis starts freaking out doesn't know what to do says "hi" but then accidentally spills a beer.

Waiter = shuttle
girl = DT
hi = scans once
spills a beer = accidentally lifts command center

SC and IRL, he is the same.
why so 진지해?
nath
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States1788 Posts
May 25 2010 08:40 GMT
#12
On May 25 2010 17:38 Rekrul wrote:
Waiter comes in and plops a girl right next to artosis. Artosis starts freaking out doesn't know what to do says "hi" but then accidentally spills a beer.

Waiter = shuttle
girl = DT
hi = scans once
spills a beer = accidentally lifts command center

SC and IRL, he is the same.

o god....never fail to crack me up....hahahaha
Founder of Flow Enterprises, LLC http://flow-enterprises.com/
Myrkul
Profile Joined February 2009
Croatia132 Posts
May 25 2010 08:43 GMT
#13
On May 25 2010 17:38 Rekrul wrote:
Waiter comes in and plops a girl right next to artosis. Artosis starts freaking out doesn't know what to do says "hi" but then accidentally spills a beer.

Waiter = shuttle
girl = DT
hi = scans once
spills a beer = accidentally lifts command center

SC and IRL, he is the same.


rofl
July = best goddamn zvp in this part of the universe
chongu
Profile Blog Joined February 2009
Malaysia2593 Posts
May 25 2010 08:43 GMT
#14
Terran
+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading] nerdy


Protoss
+ Show Spoiler +
TOO EZY
[image loading]


Zerg
+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]
enuf said

SC2 is to BW, what coke is to wine.
Kyuukyuu
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Canada6263 Posts
May 25 2010 08:44 GMT
#15
On May 25 2010 17:38 Rekrul wrote:
Waiter comes in and plops a girl right next to artosis. Artosis starts freaking out doesn't know what to do says "hi" but then accidentally spills a beer.

Waiter = shuttle
girl = DT
hi = scans once
spills a beer = accidentally lifts command center

SC and IRL, he is the same.


fucking LOL
nath
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States1788 Posts
May 25 2010 08:44 GMT
#16
ahh! zerg burns my eyes chongu double spoiler that shit and put 'will mindfuck you' in the first spoiler please!
Founder of Flow Enterprises, LLC http://flow-enterprises.com/
Xxio
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Canada5565 Posts
May 25 2010 08:45 GMT
#17
This is great!! hilarious.
KTY
nayumi
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Australia6499 Posts
May 25 2010 08:59 GMT
#18
need moar ... blogs like this keep me alive
Sugoi monogatari onii-chan!
ProoM
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Lithuania1741 Posts
May 25 2010 09:31 GMT
#19
nice! I need more and more and more! I can't stop now!!! 5/5 ;D!
IMBA - International Mountain Bicycling Association.
Catch]22
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Sweden2683 Posts
May 25 2010 09:51 GMT
#20
Terran:
+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]


Protoss:
+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]


Zerg:
+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]
Skyze
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
Canada2324 Posts
May 25 2010 10:21 GMT
#21
Terran:
+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]
Canada Gaming ~~ The-Feared
Kim_Hyun_Han
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
706 Posts
May 25 2010 10:56 GMT
#22
Scenary: At school you got to make a difficult test , calculus at its finest!

terran : studied a lot , struggles at the start of the test, micromanage every question , A
zerg:get frenzy mode, mark randomic questions, will get an A-, will muta micro the hardest questios
protoss: macromanage zerg and terran tests, A+
Skyze
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
Canada2324 Posts
May 25 2010 11:02 GMT
#23
On May 25 2010 19:56 Kim_Hyun_Han wrote:
Scenary: At school you got to make a difficult test , calculus at its finest!

terran : studied a lot , struggles at the start of the test, micromanage every question , A
zerg:get frenzy mode, mark randomic questions, will get an A-, will muta micro the hardest questios
protoss: macromanage zerg and terran tests, A+


i figure it'd be more like this for terran

Terran : answers all the questions wrong, but has big boobs so sleeps with the teacher and get an A anyways, even though they dont deserve it.
Canada Gaming ~~ The-Feared
Kim_Hyun_Han
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
706 Posts
May 25 2010 11:07 GMT
#24
On May 25 2010 20:02 Skyze wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 25 2010 19:56 Kim_Hyun_Han wrote:
Scenary: At school you got to make a difficult test , calculus at its finest!

terran : studied a lot , struggles at the start of the test, micromanage every question , A
zerg:get frenzy mode, mark randomic questions, will get an A-, will muta micro the hardest questios
protoss: macromanage zerg and terran tests, A+


i figure it'd be more like this for terran

Terran : answers all the questions wrong, but has big boobs so sleeps with the teacher and get an A anyways, even though they dont deserve it.


no way

protoss is the ezpz that gets laid and jerks at others lunch
SkelA
Profile Blog Joined January 2007
Macedonia13069 Posts
May 25 2010 11:52 GMT
#25
Reading blog 3/5

See Rekrul posts 5/5
Stork and KHAN fan till 2012 ...
KinosJourney2
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Sweden1811 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-05-25 13:08:14
May 25 2010 13:07 GMT
#26
Hilarious blog and Rekruls posts was even more epic

Terran:
+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]

Protoss:
+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]

Zerg:
+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]
ocho wrote: EDIT: NEVERMIND, THIS THING HAS APM TECHNOLOGY OMG
TheAntZ
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Israel6248 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-05-25 13:22:56
May 25 2010 13:13 GMT
#27
On May 25 2010 20:02 Skyze wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 25 2010 19:56 Kim_Hyun_Han wrote:
Scenary: At school you got to make a difficult test , calculus at its finest!

terran : studied a lot , struggles at the start of the test, micromanage every question , A
zerg:get frenzy mode, mark randomic questions, will get an A-, will muta micro the hardest questios
protoss: macromanage zerg and terran tests, A+


i figure it'd be more like this for terran

Terran : answers all the questions wrong, but has big boobs so sleeps with the teacher and get an A anyways, even though they dont deserve it.


that sounds more like protoss, i.e, the ez way :p

Terran: Constantly thinking of new ways to cry and whine about stupid shit and be as obnoxious as possible

+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]


Protoss: Protoss, being the opposite of terran, never thinks about whining or crying. In fact, no thinking goes on at all.

+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]


Zerg: EAT CUT KILL POOP

+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]

43084 | Honeybadger: "So july, you're in the GSL finals. How do you feel?!" ~ July: "HUNGRY."
Amber[LighT]
Profile Blog Joined June 2005
United States5078 Posts
May 25 2010 13:47 GMT
#28
haha loved this blog post. keep em coming
"We have unfinished business, I and he."
WniO
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States2706 Posts
May 25 2010 14:22 GMT
#29
god rekrul is so nice
FiBsTeR
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States415 Posts
May 25 2010 14:33 GMT
#30
Never before have I been so proud to control the mighty men of Aiur. Protoss power!
exeexe
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
Denmark937 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-05-25 16:08:49
May 25 2010 16:06 GMT
#31
If races were water:

Terran
+ Show Spoiler +
waterfall
Just brute force - just boring - just no decision making
[image loading]


Zerg
+ Show Spoiler +
flooding
Mass presence - Taking you out by keeping you away from external supplies - Tech: can reach polluted containers and send toxic chemicals in your direction. After the floooding comes the fungus.
[image loading]


Protoss
+ Show Spoiler +
Earth
Doesnt contain themselves to simpleminded tactics, Doesnt rely on a hidden techchange. Protoss is magnificient and can use a wide variety of tactics and techs, therefore the only way to describe protoss with a single picture... is .... earth itself

Macro like global warming, Recall like a tsunami, psi storms like hurricanes, Proxy like a mountain lake collapsing. Protoss is just shock and awe!
[image loading]
And never forget, its always easier to throw a bomb downstairs than up. - George Orwell
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