Describing the human race through the best videogame of all time:

Situation I: I need to get laid.
Terran: I'll just play it safe; won't come on to anyone right away. Let them come to me, then I can slowly and methodically respond.
Results: nope.
Zerg: I will consistently be a social animal, and jump on any opportunities that arise, and they will come as I talk to everyone and connect with them and create social value throughout the night.
Results: meh.
Protoss: I'll just use one-liners until some drunk bitch / slut just falls for me....also I happen to be handsome and cocky as hell so I can just charm them at will.
Results: We all know P players get laid the most.

Situation II: I am a civil engineer. I am designing a bridge.
Terran: looks at previous models, success rates, statistical analyses associated with the previous attribute, and cost. applies to present situation. doesnt speak, shows his underlings the blueprint of the plan they need to copy
Result: solid, unspectacular
Zerg: gets high as fuck on god only knows what combination of shit, makes a painting in his frenzied passion. tells engineers to copy it, makes changes every step of the way. Result: ends up being used as a sculpture/amusement park attraction.
Protoss: tries to use anything that is 'cool' and 'hitech' without logical justification. Throws out random ideas that are completely unfeasible and tells his underlings to make it happen.
Result: gets fired when his 'warpgate' doesnt work and immaterializes the load.

Situation III: I am hungry. I am a college student living on campus; I have no food in my apartment, I have $2. The nearest grocery store is 30 minutes walk away.
Terran: Walk to the store and buy ramen, seriously this question was EASY....
Zerg(lowecon): Steal my roommates food.
Zerg(management): Buy a nice meal on credit
Protoss: Mooch off friends.
results: well they all are alive.

Situation IV: You see day[9] at a coffee shop with his bro.

Terran:HEY MAN WHATS UP I PLAY SC I WATCH UR CASTS ALL THE FUCKING TIME OMG UR AWESOME I LOVE YOU SC BW IS AWESOME BEST GAME OF ALL TIME AMIRITE? EXCEPT NOOBY CHEESERS AND FUCKING ALL IN ZERGS AND ALL CHOBOTOSSES. (loud voice, delves into deep strategical discussion)
Day[9]: Um...um hi yeah, uh thanks.. (pretends not to know you)

Zerg: (Overlord voice impersonation while walking casually to the table)
Day[9]: Sup!

Protoss: Yo bro wassup man, you're Day[9] the sc caster right? and tasteless! man! nice to meet you
Day[9]: Sup!

Situation V: You are in a corridor with velociraptors on either direction, both advancing towards you. You have a gun, a drill, and a 30% chance to focus your mind and teleport out of the mess. What would you choose?
Terran: drill
Story: I drilled a hole and it took a while but i was barely able to jump out before the raptors got me...
Zerg: gun
Story: I didnt even aim, just shot the fuck out of that gun til they died.
Protoss: teleport
Story: Man i was like FUCK the drill or gun, even though they are pretty much guranteed solutions but when I'm talking to you guys about this shit I wanna be liek "so yeah I just like, used psionic powarz and just warped out of that shit LOL" seriously how baller is that? Plus using gun and drill require effort, who wants to do that?

Situation VI: You have an exam coming up in one week. This exam is important for your profession, its a standardized exam (think LSAT, MCAT important). What do you do?

Terran: Study 15 hours a day, every day. Don't even talk to anyone for this week. Ace the exam and then brag to your nooby Zerg and Protoss friends.
Zerg: Skim your material, read only that which interests and captivates you. Calmly take the exam, your passion for the subject will make up for not knowing the material.
Protoss: Party all week, every fucking day, to relax. Then wait until the night before to start studying. Try to cram, and take excessive amounts of caffeine; then give up and just cheat on the exam.

More to come...

Photos of our heros:
Terran:
[image loading]

Protoss:

Zerg:

Will continue to make fun of stereotypes given to bw players of respective races.

Ryps

Romania2740 Posts

May 25 2010 08:24 GMT

I take it your not a terran player?

Sentenal

United States12398 Posts

May 25 2010 08:27 GMT

Okay, I was amused a bit by some of those

Rekrul

Korea (South)17174 Posts

May 25 2010 08:27 GMT

Protoss:

Zerg:

Terran:

nath

United States1788 Posts

May 25 2010 08:28 GMT

On May 25 2010 17:24 PaD wrote:
I take it your not a terran player?

You need to be able to poke fun at yourself man, otherwise you can't live in this world. Unlike you and others would suspect there is no bias in these, I'm just poking fun at stereotypes. I played T in BW, and playing T in sc2 as well. I am a logical, methodical person and therefore I like Terran.

nath

United States1788 Posts

May 25 2010 08:29 GMT

On May 25 2010 17:27 Rekrul wrote:
+ Show Spoiler +

Protoss:

Zerg:

Terran:

YES REKRUL I WAS GONNA
1)FUCKING USE THAT PIC (I SEARCHED SO MUCH FOR IT I COULDNT FIND IT ANYWHERE) FOR PROTOSS
2)PUT YOU IN ONE OF THE SITUATIONS (will do so in future)

Rekrul to me helps reinforce the P stereotype and therefore is gold in terms of material

snotboogie

Australia3550 Posts

May 25 2010 08:30 GMT

Amazing. Simply beautiful. 5/5

Grobyc

Canada18410 Posts

May 25 2010 08:33 GMT

Heh this was kind of cool. Situation I and III were best

nath

United States1788 Posts

May 25 2010 08:35 GMT

Really I thought 1 wasn't great, was thinking of a better way to not over-explain it so it was still funny. But the rest will be better, promise! I did these in 10 mins with not much editing.

edit: I Loved III when i made it though LOL...the sad part is even if it were an hour away, I'd walk there and buy 1 packet of ramen and pay like $.17 LOL

Terrakin

United States1440 Posts

May 25 2010 08:36 GMT

#10

ahaha so good

Rekrul

Korea (South)17174 Posts

May 25 2010 08:38 GMT

#11

Waiter comes in and plops a girl right next to artosis. Artosis starts freaking out doesn't know what to do says "hi" but then accidentally spills a beer.

Waiter = shuttle
girl = DT
hi = scans once
spills a beer = accidentally lifts command center

SC and IRL, he is the same.

nath

United States1788 Posts

May 25 2010 08:40 GMT

#12

On May 25 2010 17:38 Rekrul wrote:
Waiter comes in and plops a girl right next to artosis. Artosis starts freaking out doesn't know what to do says "hi" but then accidentally spills a beer.

Waiter = shuttle
girl = DT
hi = scans once
spills a beer = accidentally lifts command center

SC and IRL, he is the same.

o god....never fail to crack me up....hahahaha