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Ever since I got into the starcraft 2 beta via gamestop preorder, every post I've wanted to write at TL has been full of depression and hopelessness.
This probably has to do with me being addicted and obsessive over video games and the internet for the past six years. Whenever I've wanted to procrastinate, video games have been there. Whenever I wanted to not write a paper at the moment, the internet has been there. Between the two of them at best my free time is spent and at worst my assignments come in late.
This all begs the question then. Why do I play them in the first place? Why did I bother preordering SC2 for the beta, and why did I spend 8+ hours this weekend, right before finals, on a video game? How has it come to pass that, yet again, I have done nothing useful with my day at all? Why am I just so disorganized, how have I never learned to manage my time?
My biggest fear is that I will be a vegetable for the rest of my life, failing to do anything which mattered to anyone. And it seems like all I can do is watch the bloody thing happen to me.
My sister tells me I'm the most passionate person she knows. Well, really then? If I really cared, why don't I get up and do something?
With getting the beta, again I am face to face with this point. Why am I playing this game? I know 1 other person IRL who plays it, certainly not enough to feed my own obsession. So I play on Battle.net, a lonely place, and watch my numbers go up and down and get curbstomped again by another faceless person who is better than me at this game. Why should I bother with such a thing? What purpose is there in competing at all?
In the end, I might have to disagree with Day[9] after all. Yeah, you can go love your Starcraft. Yeah, maybe Starcraft is your main alternative to booze parties. Maybe you can even meet interesting people through the community and be buoyed by it. But you know what? I don't think that's the case for me.
I want to say that, this instant, I am quitting video games. That I'm throwing my computer out the window. But I know I can't do it. If I quit video games, I'd find something else to waste time on. I hear that was gambling in the olden days...
 
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Said millions of times before..
TIME MANAGEMENT SKILLS..LEARN THEM...SELF CONTROL
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It's escapism (sorry for the ism...)
It keeps you from having to try things. If you don't try things, you can't fail. When things have this function (and Ive had loads of close encounters) , we just justify the distraction, things like that. Never say "one more game, then I study" or whatever. Do your work as soon as you think about it, even if only for 20 minutes.
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In my opinion, the root problem isn't video games.
A lot of people have trouble with addictions, and in many many cases it isn't the thing that they are addicted to that is the problem. More likely the issue is that you are avoiding the difficulties of real life, and video games are the outlet you are using to do that.
Why do people drink so much when it destroys their lives? I am sure they realize it is a problem, but drinking is a way to avoid the drag that life can be sometimes.
So yeah, I am not disagreeing with your decision to stop playing video games at all. If that is what it takes at this point then I say go for it. However, you should probably try to address the real problem. You will inevitably find something else to waste your time on even if you get rid of video games if you aren't prepared to take on real life.
Anyways, I wish you luck. I wasn't trying to make assumptions about you, either, I was just talking about the problem with many addictions in general.
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What you need is self-control and time management. I was in your position for probably 8 years until I got a serious job that left me with a serious passion to pursuit a real job career (dentistry). I felt the same way you did. I knew about self-control and time managment but was too mentally weak. But a serious job allowed me to pursuit a new passion that was worthwile, I guess you can say as you age you become more mature; you also have to walk down the right path (getting a serious job or going back to school etc). Good luck man, I bet many people are stuck in this fetal position that we're in. By the way, don't hate on poker it's a nice income resouce once you learn to survive.
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Self-control is a big part of this, but I doubt that's your entire problem. I think some people are afraid of failure (in their eyes) so that they force themselves to study. And some people are so afraid of failure that it freezes them entirely. You have to have confidence that no matter how late you start studying you can still succeed ^^ (Of course this begs the question of why study now and why not later then lol). In my case, I might only start studying a couple of hours before the exam, because studying then is the most efficient and valuable if you are lazy but if I gave up and deemed the task insurmountable and not studied at all, the results would be catastrophic.
The fact that you are a good person with strong values and beliefs is always going to be your most important asset in life. Despite whatever shortcomings you may think you have, its important to be a good person like your sister clearly thinks. Find something you really like and that really motivates you. Some people say that there's nothing but you have to be brave and go seriously try some different things first. If for example, someone really loved starcraft and felt that playing starcraft all day would lead to a fulfilling happy life, then they should do what is required to make that possible in a way that fits their values.
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I think that you just need to work on time management skills, maybe that means only play starcraft 2 in the summer, but trashing your computer all together probably is not the step I would take. I commend you for trying to face your problem, but think that better time management is the way to go about it, try not using your computer until after 6:00 pm every night, and force yourself to do this. I hope you haven't already trashed your computer and are still reading these posts!
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Lots of people on about self control and time management, and while that is a factor, I am not going to get into it.
First, check out this thread: http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=117187
A game is basically a recreational activity. And typically with a competitive game only those at the top find much value besides recreation. Period.
Second, you could really be addicted as you wrote.
See this article for useful criteria and if you meet, say 4+ certainly go get help.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/all-about-addiction/201004/facebook-e-mail-games-and-porn-glimpse-our-addiction-technology
Some guy writing about quitting the internet, might be useful for you.
http://www.slate.com/id/2249562/entry/2249563/
www.mercystreet.org/CushmansEmptySelf.pdf
An academic article about the current historical configuration of the self as something that needs to be filled up with goods, experiences, and so on due to growing alienation and fragmentation of the era, economic model, and so on. A bit rough going but perhaps a worthwhile lead on this need to waste time as you put it.
edit - Article that deals with the ideas, easier to understand:
http://journal.media-culture.org.au/0210/Henley.php
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Yea but if you're as addicted to starcraft as I am, finding something else to waste time on might be better for you. Let me explain why.
The problem with starcraft as opposed to surfing the web, browsing facebook, browing tl, listening to music is that at any point in time u can stop those things and open ur book and go to studying. Starcraft however, once you are in a game, you can't just leave in the middle and say "oh im gonna go study now." I get pissed at someone for just pausing the game for even 2 minutes. You're basically bound until however long it takes you or your opponent to finish the game. And that's if u play just ONE game and immediately log off afterwards without chatting. Unfortunately i get caught up in alot of chatting  .
So instead of sc, say you decide waste your time watching anime. At least at ANY point in time you can pause it and go to studying. So do that, find something else to do besides sc but make sure it is something u can stop immediately as some of the examples I mentioned.
I'm not going to lie I have the same problems as you.. I fuking love starcraft broodwar and was addicted to it and still am..but im just going to say this..its hard..its REALLY hard like i was in the same boat as you..right before my calculus 2 exam i mass gamed one weekend to B- on iccup and ended up getting a 41 on my calculus 2 test. That right there helped me a ton and gave me a huge realization that i need to cut back and focus on studying a bit more. I stopped playing iccup completely and played 1 or 2 casual play/obs games on east and would go right back to studying. Even after that though..after awhile the addiction still came back so its a continuous struggle u have to face. This is why sc2 came at a perfect time for me becuz im so anti-sc2 i can finally give up starcraft for good if sc2 gets popular and nobody plays broodwar anymore.
The best post so far though is what ella_guru posted though. You just gotta do it then, not after you surf teamliquid or facebook. This takes a ton of discipline though..i feel for you.
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Your problem is you're looking at short term gains, not long term ones. Playing SC is fun right now, but at what expense? If you fail out of school, good luck on the rest of your life. Actually this goes not just for SC but just about anything. I hate generalizing about generations but it's an issue I tend to see with yours (yes I'm old). When I hire kids out of school, so many have no passion because they've been handed everything in their lives and have had access to whatever they want, whenever they want. They have no work ethic, and no real sense of pride.
Much like SC, the real world is not exactly friendly. You won't learn this overnight but eventually you do. You're smart enough to understand their's something wrong, the question is what you do about it. You can disagree with Day[9], but he's found his passion, and he's exploited it to its fullest. You need to do the same with whatever it is is your passion in life.
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On April 26 2010 13:32 vesicular wrote:
Your problem is you're looking at short term gains, not long term ones. Playing SC is fun right now, but at what expense? If you fail out of school, good luck on the rest of your life. Actually this goes not just for SC but just about anything. I hate generalizing about generations but it's an issue I tend to see with yours (yes I'm old). When I hire kids out of school, so many have no passion because they've been handed everything in their lives and have had access to whatever they want, whenever they want. They have no work ethic, and no real sense of pride.
Much like SC, the real world is not exactly friendly. You won't learn this overnight but eventually you do. You're smart enough to understand their's something wrong, the question is what you do about it. You can disagree with Day[9], but he's found his passion, and he's exploited it to its fullest. You need to do the same with whatever it is is your passion in life.
But his passion is the same as day[9]'s. The difference is, although I don't know day, I'm guessing he manages his time well where he can play sc, make all those podcasts and still be able to do well in school. OP's problem is that he wasted his entire weekend playing sc2 when he should've been studying for his final. Sounds like time management problem to me though.
You said in your second paragraph that day exploited his passion(starcraft)but the op also shares that same passion but in the first paragraph you shoot him down by saying playing sc now comes at a cost later on(which i agree with). So it's okay for day[9] but not him?
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I'd like to thank everyone for their concern. I know that my post was very much a ramblefest.
A lot of what all of you have written is stuff that I have thought about to one extent or another. At the same time it is good to hear from other people who have different points of view.
I don't want to spend too much more time talking about it for obvious reasons. Thanks to you all for listening and sharing. I will try my best.
Peace.
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just play - let your self be guided by your instincts - dont fight your instincts, it will only make it worse. Then one fine day youll have had enough and gaming will get boring. Then you can do the more important stuff. This i will say even if your age is 20+.
From now till you get bored of gaming, just remember to have the basics sorted so yuo dont die or something 
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you'll be drawn back
we're too strong.
come back to ussssss
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EPT
