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Goodbye Canada..

Blogs > DragoonPK
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DragoonPK
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
3259 Posts
March 01 2010 22:58 GMT
#1
I just made one the biggest dision of my life, I decided to drop out of UWO and go back home to Bahrain to study there. I cant believe it myself but this wasnt just a sudden thing, I was thinking about it for 2 weeks, the worst 2 weeks of my life yet. Reading week started and I was planning on playing starcraft the whole week, until my right hand got Carpel tunnel and mouse elbow (Chiropractor diagnosis). Yeah 1 week, alone with o3.power91 in residence doing nothing but watching movies, eating, sleeping, and me trying( but failing) to play SC. I started getting bored, night became day and day became night. I started getting homesick, nothing to do, no one to complain to, everything is so dry out boring.. It got worse, started feeling heartburns and stomach aches and problems with my stomach probably because of something I ate ( same thing happened 2 years ago, I have a pretty sensitive stomach for some reason).

So I started thinking of a billion diseases that were wrong with me, I started diagnosing myself with another disease everyday. Could NOT sleep, I wake up 8 times or so every day feeling utter confusing and just cant handling myself anymore. I had thoughts of going back but they just seemed wrong. It got worst, started getting a fever, more strees because of 2 exams I didnt study much for because of 0 focus, and just fatigue. Low appetite, only ate vegtables and fruits for 3 days. Although I started feeling better, my mind would constantly play tricks on me to the point I thought I am going to die. Yeah, I would call my parents 2-3 times a day just to calm myself down, and thank god they are 100% supportive.

Then Just yesterday it hit me, I am going to kill myself if I stay like this any longer, so I decided to drop out of UWO and go study back home. Education back home maybe a bit lower, but my health and sanity is important to me more than a mere degree. I hence realized that If a person want to accomplish something then he can do it wherever the fuck he pleases. I have a goal, and I can reach it wheter its canada or Bahrain or wherever. But ever since I booked my flight and calmed myself down, I have been feeling alot better.

Decisions like there are really damn big, but I am 100% confident that I did the right thing. I dont have any regrets. I came to a great country (except the weather T.T), met great people, and got the experience I needed. Thank you Canada for all the time I spent on you, but dudes

.. I am going home..

****
Divinek
Profile Blog Joined November 2006
Canada4045 Posts
March 01 2010 23:01 GMT
#2
that is one intense case of being home sick
Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
Oh goodness me, FOX tv where do you get your sight? Can't you keep track, the puck is black. That's why the ice is white.
Army of BadAsh82
Profile Joined January 2010
Canada12 Posts
March 01 2010 23:02 GMT
#3
home is where the heart is.. so they say

<3 canada
Good, Bad, Im the Guy with the Gun.
buickskylark
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Canada664 Posts
March 01 2010 23:04 GMT
#4
good luck to you. a decision like this is HUGE because it's a life changer.
dacthehork
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States2000 Posts
March 01 2010 23:09 GMT
#5
Sounds like anxiety attacks or just high anxiety

You would probably have been prescribed Xanax. It often causes very upset stomach, inability to sleep, and almost all the symptoms you described. It's basically your flight or fight response kicking in causing your heart to beat faster, and a rush of adrenaline (they usually check your adrenaline levels etc to make sure its not something else causing it). Obviously this is basically an induced "panic" and can happen for any number of reasons. The best thing to do is realize it's nothing seriously wrong, just a flush of adrenaline. THe anxiety/stress can easily cause heartburn etc, making you think something is seriously wrong when its all mental.

Exercising / running usually helps a lot since it will give the adrenaline some use (instead of just sitting there). But really it's all mental and you can easily deal with it, if anything get some xanax to help during a bad attack
Warturtle - DOTA 2 is KING
Impervious
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
Canada4200 Posts
March 01 2010 23:18 GMT
#6
If this is really what you think is best for yourself, then all the best to you!

I'm sure you'll be able to come back and do a semester or two, if you miss us and want to come back.

GL
~ \(ˌ)im-ˈpər-vē-əs\ : not capable of being damaged or harmed.
Zortch
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
Canada635 Posts
March 01 2010 23:19 GMT
#7
Noo UWO CSL needs you!
Take good care of yourself, and good luck.
Respect is everything. ~ARchon
ella_guru
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Canada1741 Posts
March 01 2010 23:30 GMT
#8
Thanks for stoppin by?
Each day gets better : )
kitaman27 *
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States9245 Posts
March 01 2010 23:34 GMT
#9
Good luck, hope everything works out for the best.
I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt. I mean not that fancy store bought dirt. That stuffs loaded with nutrients. I... I can't compete with that stuff.
ShaperofDreams
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
Canada2492 Posts
March 02 2010 00:13 GMT
#10
I'm transferring uni as well, Good luck in Bahrain!
Bitches don't know about my overlord. FUCK OFF ALDARIS I HAVE ENOUGH PYLONS. My Balls are as smooth as Eggs.
ColdLava
Profile Blog Joined May 2003
Canada1673 Posts
March 02 2010 00:17 GMT
#11
Good luck! Anxiety is a very scary condition, even though it's not deadly at all, it can affect your livelihood greatly. Make sure you exercise as much as you can, eat right, because that helps IMMENSELY with lowering your anxiety. Try also eating stuff that's not acidic, if you can. Also make sure you go to a doctor about it because he'll help you out a lot with it. I have anxiety as well and I could see myself doing the same exact thing you're doing in your situation, your family is important and it'll probably help you a lot when you're back home.
Whiplash
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
United States2928 Posts
March 02 2010 00:19 GMT
#12
I had to look up where Bahrain was on a map because I have never heard of it before. Looks like it was a pretty big cultural change as well as location. Good luck with your studies, I hope you can keep your sanity and stay well
Cinematographer / Steadicam Operator. Former Starcraft commentator/player
TimmyMac
Profile Joined December 2008
Canada499 Posts
March 02 2010 00:22 GMT
#13
I think your problem is that you got a week off, no obligations, and chose to spend the whole thing playing starcraft. Get out, do something, and you'll feel 10 times better.

As far as all your other 'health' problems go, I'd be willing to bet that you're in terrible shape and eat really poorly. The result of this is that you feel terrible in every way. People have no idea the effects on every aspect of your wellbeing of not taking care of yourself.
perfectteeth
Profile Joined November 2009
United States30 Posts
March 02 2010 00:29 GMT
#14
listen buddy..
u got anxiety disorder, im 100% positive. I know what this is. I was packing my bags and only reason im still in US is because that day for some odd reason western union had a problem with their database or w/e, it was down. I handed the money and filled out the blank, was buying a plane ticket. Some weird coincidence and i got delayed, next day i decided to give it more time. Still here in US, its been 4 years
you dont even know what you will have to go through with this anxiety, i just hope u will be able to bounce back real soon. But it probably wont get better if you head home, it might even get worse once your return sinks in. If u didnt leave< give it a try. Go see a doctor, try antidepressants for now. Getting stuck in your homecountry studying at a 2nd rate school probably isnt what you wanted to do. its crazy tough, good luck
illu
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
Canada2531 Posts
March 02 2010 00:30 GMT
#15
Don't worry. Wester Ontario is garbage anyways.
:]
Boblion
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
France8043 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-03-02 00:45:40
March 02 2010 00:37 GMT
#16
Just for curiosity did you perform poorly at uni ?
Also did you manage to make some good friends at uni ( others than 03.power91 ) ?

gl man.

edit:

From my personal experience performing poorly and not being able to get friends are the two biggest sources of anxiety / depression at uni and lead to "escaping addictions" ( bw, poker, weed, alcohol etc ... ), missing classes, terrible sleep schedule, poor eating habits which make the whole anxiety / depression phenomenom even worse.
Ultimately you get a very low self-esteem, 0 confidence and you stay at home and fail your semester.

You seem to be in a different situation because you are abroad and you miss your own country but i just wanted to know if you had problems with those two issues.
fuck all those elitists brb watching streams of elite players.
Apexplayer
Profile Joined September 2009
United States406 Posts
March 02 2010 00:37 GMT
#17
should have came to the U.S. XD
Chill
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
Calgary25980 Posts
March 02 2010 00:45 GMT
#18
Did you at least enjoy the slutty, slutty bitches London has to offer?
Moderator
meeple
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
Canada10211 Posts
March 02 2010 00:47 GMT
#19
On March 02 2010 09:30 illu wrote:
Don't worry. Wester Ontario is garbage anyways.


Bah nonsense...

@OP Glad you tried it out, but thats some intense anxiety and you should be getting home. Cheers
Impervious
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
Canada4200 Posts
March 02 2010 01:02 GMT
#20
On March 02 2010 09:45 Chill wrote:
Did you at least enjoy the slutty, slutty bitches London has to offer?


Come to Ottawa. Or Montreal.
~ \(ˌ)im-ˈpər-vē-əs\ : not capable of being damaged or harmed.
The6357
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
United States1268 Posts
March 02 2010 01:08 GMT
#21
good bye canada...hello bahrain
2010 worldcup!! corea fighting!!!
flamewheel
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
FREEAGLELAND26781 Posts
March 02 2010 01:10 GMT
#22
Good luck, OP.
May you be successful in all your endeavors.
Writerdamn, i was two days from retirement
ilovejonn
Profile Blog Joined August 2007
Canada2548 Posts
March 02 2010 01:41 GMT
#23
On March 02 2010 09:45 Chill wrote:
Did you at least enjoy the slutty, slutty bitches London has to offer?

hehehe
Snowflakes in January, Heart warm like February, I wouldn't ordinarily..
3clipse
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
Canada2555 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-03-02 02:34:24
March 02 2010 02:29 GMT
#24
I can really relate to this, actually. Last September I got really depressed and experienced a lot of anxiety. I guess it was a combination of homesickness, the fact that I didn't seem to have much in common with anyone else in my residence, the returned pressure of school after a year off, and how I had built the year up in my head to be amazing. I lost the ability to really enjoy anything anymore and I was probably on the edge of a nervous breakdown. I went home for a weekend to see my family, reevaluated my priorities and managed to bounce back. I've been feeling pretty good for most of the last year (excluding this weekend- I've been scrambling to write papers and I have a cold so it's pretty much hell).

You're not alone and it very well may pass without need for antidepressants. Good luck!

On March 02 2010 09:17 ColdLava wrote:
Make sure you exercise as much as you can

I also think exercise helped me a lot. My eating habits are still awful, but it's so hard to get fresh food with the nearest supermarket so far away. :/
obesechicken13
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
United States10467 Posts
March 02 2010 02:51 GMT
#25
I have missed my little brother since I moved here. GL
I think in our modern age technology has evolved to become more addictive. The things that don't give us pleasure aren't used as much. Work was never meant to be fun, but doing it makes us happier in the long run.
perfectteeth
Profile Joined November 2009
United States30 Posts
March 02 2010 03:02 GMT
#26
dont mistake anxiety disorder with a trivial depression

boblion and 3lions writing about something completely different. Lets just say, someone whos about to die suffers less than someone at a peak of a serious anxiety disorder/panic attack. It doesnt sound as serious in the OP but hes definitely going in this direction

you know what cardiofobia is? Many anxiety sufferers develop it. You are living through "heart attacks" but your heart is completely normal. You still feel it as it wasnt. Just 1 example lol
Kenpachi
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States9908 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-03-02 03:11:59
March 02 2010 03:11 GMT
#27
Carpel Tunnel is my biggest fear. I would be horrified without being able to use my hands efficiently
i hope that gets better and i hope you dont regret your decision
Nada's body is South Korea's greatest weapon.
DragoonPK
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
3259 Posts
March 02 2010 03:28 GMT
#28
Yeah I after I did what I did, and chose my decision I feel a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulder! I am damn sure I made the right decision . See ya
chongu
Profile Blog Joined February 2009
Malaysia2585 Posts
March 02 2010 03:45 GMT
#29
oooo... really huge game-changing decision right there.... GL to you. remember to blog abt this in the future
SC2 is to BW, what coke is to wine.
samachking
Profile Blog Joined August 2007
Bahrain4949 Posts
March 02 2010 05:33 GMT
#30
I kept telling you to go to a real doctor T__T

Contact me later today.
"And then Earthlings discovered tools. Suddenly agreeing with friends could be a form of suicide or worse. But agreements went on, not for the sake of common sense, or decency, or self preservation, but for friendliness."
Chill
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
Calgary25980 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-03-02 19:05:25
March 02 2010 19:01 GMT
#31
On March 02 2010 10:02 lMPERVlOUS wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 02 2010 09:45 Chill wrote:
Did you at least enjoy the slutty, slutty bitches London has to offer?


Come to Ottawa. Or Montreal.

You realize London is famous for this right?
Moderator
zatic
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
Zurich15328 Posts
March 02 2010 19:40 GMT
#32
On the plus side, we get to meet tomorrow (or thursday or w/e)! Looking forward to it!
ModeratorI know Teamliquid is known as a massive building
arb
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Noobville17921 Posts
March 02 2010 22:44 GMT
#33
On March 03 2010 04:01 Chill wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 02 2010 10:02 lMPERVlOUS wrote:
On March 02 2010 09:45 Chill wrote:
Did you at least enjoy the slutty, slutty bitches London has to offer?


Come to Ottawa. Or Montreal.

You realize London is famous for this right?

Isnt London in Britland not Canada

?
Artillery spawned from the forges of Hell
alffla
Profile Blog Joined November 2005
Hong Kong20321 Posts
March 02 2010 22:46 GMT
#34
On March 03 2010 07:44 arb wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 03 2010 04:01 Chill wrote:
On March 02 2010 10:02 lMPERVlOUS wrote:
On March 02 2010 09:45 Chill wrote:
Did you at least enjoy the slutty, slutty bitches London has to offer?


Come to Ottawa. Or Montreal.

You realize London is famous for this right?

Isnt London in Britland not Canada

?


no theres a london in canada just like theres a birmingham in the US
Graphicssavior[gm] : What is a “yawn” rape ;; Masumune - It was the year of the pig for those fucking defilers. Chill - A clinic you say? okum: SC without Korean yelling is like porn without sex. konamix: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY!
Chill
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
Calgary25980 Posts
March 02 2010 22:51 GMT
#35
On March 03 2010 07:44 arb wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 03 2010 04:01 Chill wrote:
On March 02 2010 10:02 lMPERVlOUS wrote:
On March 02 2010 09:45 Chill wrote:
Did you at least enjoy the slutty, slutty bitches London has to offer?


Come to Ottawa. Or Montreal.

You realize London is famous for this right?

Isnt London in Britland not Canada

?

oh sorry i confused my home country and province with a country 5500 km away across the atlantic ocean my bad
Moderator
Impervious
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
Canada4200 Posts
March 02 2010 23:56 GMT
#36
On March 03 2010 04:01 Chill wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 02 2010 10:02 lMPERVlOUS wrote:
On March 02 2010 09:45 Chill wrote:
Did you at least enjoy the slutty, slutty bitches London has to offer?


Come to Ottawa. Or Montreal.

You realize London is famous for this right?


I'm from Guelph, and I've spent a few weekends in London. From my experience, Ottawa and Montreal are better.
~ \(ˌ)im-ˈpər-vē-əs\ : not capable of being damaged or harmed.
Chill
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
Calgary25980 Posts
March 03 2010 00:03 GMT
#37
ahkk
Moderator
arb
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Noobville17921 Posts
March 03 2010 00:44 GMT
#38
On March 03 2010 07:51 Chill wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 03 2010 07:44 arb wrote:
On March 03 2010 04:01 Chill wrote:
On March 02 2010 10:02 lMPERVlOUS wrote:
On March 02 2010 09:45 Chill wrote:
Did you at least enjoy the slutty, slutty bitches London has to offer?


Come to Ottawa. Or Montreal.

You realize London is famous for this right?

Isnt London in Britland not Canada

?

oh sorry i confused my home country and province with a country 5500 km away across the atlantic ocean my bad

oh its okay man we all have our bads
Artillery spawned from the forges of Hell
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