best thing since losing my virginity at 22.
i've had lucid dreams before but they're frustratingly rare and when they do occur it's over way too soon. i'd be running around the city slipping inbetween alleys dodging zombie richard simmonses (he's a staple in my nightmares) armed with only a moldy baguette and my trusty hoola-hoop then suddenly realize, "wait, this can't be really happening! omfg, i'm dreaming! quick, think of your hot spanish teacher mrs. garcia!". and just like that she'd appear right before my eyes her hair in a bun seductively biting finger.
immediately after, guess what? i'd start thinking, "this is just too good to be true." then everything starts getting all fuzzy, i'd get this sinking feeling (like getting flushed down the toilet) and eventually open my eyes; panting, my heart racing, "please, please let me get back!... nooooooo!"
so, after so many years since the last one (roughly 4) i successfully accomplished this feat with a bit of help from william hung. if there's something that can really wake you up in the middle of the night even at a whisper's volume level it's atrocious singing and a face that can kill even ron jeremy's boner.
disappointingly despite spinning AND rubbing my hands my time limit is still under a minute. i can get back in a few more times but each is a different scenario. i'd be in normandy getting an assful of lead whilst shouting at my captain, "you stupid fuck, Bangalore is a place--not a thing!" and then be in university--worrying about all those classes i've skipped, the tests and book reports i've missed--the next.




