Sucks right? Coughing, fever, headache, chills, aches.. everything pretty much. Fortunately it happened on a weekend when I could lay in bed and sleep it off. I drank water, slept, ate some and rinsed and repeated. Eventually the virus was defeated for the most part..
But that pesky swine flute left me a present:
This cough.
Now normally it isn't a big deal, I sound like a 'smoker but that isn't a big deal.
Unfortunately I did something to myself. There is no evidence of this or declaratory moment when I can say "oh that is what/when it happened!" but afaik I was lying belly down on my bed playing Assassin's Creed 2 when something quite normal happens for a guy.. because of the position of my laying and perhaps the contact with the bed I had a boner. Not a rager. Nothing in the game made me sprung. Just, filled with blood in a certain part of my body. Now I theorize that it was at this time that I then had a coughing fit. In fact, I suspect, I coughed so hard that I literally elevated myself off the bed and smashed down on said boner and perhaps caused some damage. Did it hurt? Not that I can remember.
But later that day and for the next week.. my cock feels like someone has an iron grip around the shaft and is holding it like a vice. I'm not talking GI Jane MAYBE semi-erotic grip I'm talking Richard Kiel going green grip. So much so that even the friction of my pants feels like a rug burn on my head (THAT one). The pain comes, goes and I live on figuring it will pass.
Now, being as how my dong is in pain I became worried that perhaps not all functions were going to participate in my daily routine normally. Being the scientist that I am (I swear it) I did an experiment. Without the details (sorry bears) I tested the firing capabilities of my double gauge going with the white shells as oppose to the typical green shells I was sad to find it wasn't ok. Nothing came out. I finished the deed... I KNOW I DID. But nothing fired. Alarm. Shock. Fear. These are the emotions a man feels when his johnson refuses to discharge visibly.
All is not lost however. A few days after I engaged in certain activities with a certain someone and something certainly resulted. I was relieved. Happy. Ecstatic. The feelings a man feels when IT WORKS.
Since then it has continued to perform lacklusterly for the private audience. Pessimism. Doubt. Anxiety. These are the feelings of a man who has inconsistent results in his pants.
What did I do? Is my rod no longer attracted to me? Did I anger some unseen masturbation god? Am I doomed to always need a hand from someone? This is hard ly the time to s cream but I cannot cum pletely deny that I am in fact scared.
Rofl.... don't know what kind of replies you expect for that but i laughed. I'm sure you're fine and just freaking out over something stupid (hopefully... maybe go see a doctor if it continues).
It's not a serious situation guys. It sucks, but it will most likely solve itself. I just thought of a bunch of puns I like (including title) so I blogged it
Just want to share a few laughs at my own expense every now and then.
On November 28 2009 09:09 {88}iNcontroL wrote: All is not lost however. A few days after I engaged in certain activities with a certain someone and something certainly resulted.
Where would we be without Artosis? The man's got talent.
What did I do? Is my rod no longer attracted to me? Did I anger some unseen masturbation god? Am I doomed to always need a hand from someone? This is hard ly the time to s cream but I cannot cum pletely deny that I am in fact scared.
On November 28 2009 09:09 {88}iNcontroL wrote: All is not lost however. A few days after I engaged in certain activities with a certain someone and something certainly resulted.
Where would we be without Artosis? The man's got talent.
On November 28 2009 09:09 {88}iNcontroL wrote: All is not lost however. A few days after I engaged in certain activities with a certain someone and something certainly resulted.
Where would we be without Artosis? The man's got talent.
haha oh god that had me laughing trough the entire read :D
also on a serious sidenote: men can "finish the deed" without shooting off the white guys, it's usually something you need to practise to accomplice (and it's awesome) but sometimes it just happen in nature. lucky/unlucky coincidence imo.
Artosis: I know who he is. His name is Geoff. He’s a 23 year old Oregon State college student from Spokane, WA who competes in pro lifting competitions. He is an English and History major. He says he can bench press 500 lbs. WOOF! He’s a contestant on Sci-Fi channel’s WCG Ultimate Gamer.
Klazart: hi guys this is Klazart do you mind voting for my book “Lesser Sins” on Authonomy.com?
On November 28 2009 10:31 SirGlinG wrote: Why do I remember that this isn't your first blog about your penis? Why does your penis live such a adventurous life?
Hope everything works out fine, remember that every penis has it's ups and downs
Don't forget the ins and outs.
Oh 5/5 btw. Never thought I could enjoy hearing about another man's penis so much.
On November 28 2009 09:09 {88}iNcontroL wrote: All is not lost however. A few days after I engaged in certain activities with a certain someone and something certainly resulted.
Where would we be without Artosis? The man's got talent.
Rooooooooooooooooooooofl, greatest thing i have heard this week. Anyway, if i were you i would go see a doctor. From what i hear i think you actually broke your penis. Like a bone your penis can also break with a pop, which you probably didn't hear because of your coughing. Go see a doctor or it will be crooked for the rest of your life!! Even if it isn't now.
On November 28 2009 09:09 {88}iNcontroL wrote: All is not lost however. A few days after I engaged in certain activities with a certain someone and something certainly resulted.
Where would we be without Artosis? The man's got talent.
Lol i'd go see a doctor.. Its probably not serious but..yeah thatd suck.. get like somone to use their hands on your "leg" and see if it works... if not idk...maybe your "leg" doesnt like "hands"
I had the same shit, i was told its mucus left over in your system that your body is rejecting, and thus making you cough like a mad man(happens when you lie down). For me it went away after a week!
On November 28 2009 12:00 Cloud wrote: You are the first guy I have ever heard that masturbated out of fear.
well I'm the second one then. A week ago I strained the ligament connecting the penis to the body and I jerked it to see if everything works okay. Fucking hurts like hell, but yep.. its all good.
On November 28 2009 12:49 SkepTicAL wrote: I had the same shit, i was told its mucus left over in your system that your body is rejecting, and thus making you cough like a mad man(happens when you lie down). For me it went away after a week!
Sucks right? Coughing, fever, headache, chills, aches.. everything pretty much. Fortunately it happened on a weekend when I could lay in bed and sleep it off. I drank water, slept, ate some and rinsed and repeated. Eventually the virus was defeated for the most part..
But that pesky swine flute left me a present:
This cough.
Now normally it isn't a big deal, I sound like a 'smoker but that isn't a big deal.
Unfortunately...
I had EXACTLY THE SAME THING HAPPEN TO ME up to there...
Sucks right? Coughing, fever, headache, chills, aches.. everything pretty much. Fortunately it happened on a weekend when I could lay in bed and sleep it off. I drank water, slept, ate some and rinsed and repeated. Eventually the virus was defeated for the most part..
But that pesky swine flute left me a present:
This cough.
Now normally it isn't a big deal, I sound like a 'smoker but that isn't a big deal.
Unfortunately...
I had EXACTLY THE SAME THING HAPPEN TO ME up to there...
Yeah, I was all ready to sympathize and everything. Then, suddenly... :X
On November 29 2009 01:52 Louder wrote: Geoff this is at least the second in depth post you have made about your penis. Frankly, I'm tired of being teased. Video or it didn't happen.
EPT
