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Two weeks ago my friend's mother had died. He had his relatives close to him the entire day, reminiscing about memories they had with her. Needless to say he was pretty down. I drove back to my hometown where he was and a few more friends pulled him out of his house and pushed him in a four-door-truck. We did what most of us in this small town do when they need a diversion, we went on a beer cruise.
Traveled all night in the snowy mountains and fields just talking about random shit we used to do back in high school and earlier years of college. By the night, all of use except the driver were pretty smashed. We were a bit too drunk and preoccupied with singing along to some Metallica and AC/DC to notice where the driver was going.
The driver parked in a snowy area with a path leading up behind some rocks. We all walked up the path, with only the snow to light the way. Once we got to the top of the path the driver told us to turn around. We all did and in front of us laid one of our towns local secrets. A large rock with writings from the indians that had once inhabited the area. Constellations, pictures of medicine men, and arrows all covered the enormous rock. It was one of the most awesome sights I had seen in a while. Afterward we drove back home and crammed down on some amazing soup to sober us up, and we all went our ways.
A week later (last week) I got a call from one of those guys from that night. The driver had done something horribly bad.
Dealing with the stress of a failed business and debt, my friend the driver had gotten into an argument with his wife. He drank as much as he could, went on a beer cruise of his own, parked out to some random field and shot himself. He left behind his wife and his one-year-old daughter, because of some fluke mindset.
I went to his funeral today, still in complete shock of hearing about his end. I listened as his uncle sang a country song, which he couldn't finish and loudly exclaimed "who are we fooling, we all know where he's going." It bothered me to see these people coping with the prospect, that because of what their religion taught, this man would be sentenced to an eternity in hell.
More people told stories about him and felt a little tear come down my face. I tried to force myself not to, by thinking about the salutes we all made to his John Wayne poster before we took a shot of jack, or the horrible drunk karaoke sessions that everyone took part in late on week-end nights. It worked for a while, until those memories started to turn against me as well. I distanced myself from the situation, by looking at my friend as nothing more than cells, or even just protons packed together.
..it didn't help... and I'll always wonder why we cry for these walking proteins/chemicals/epithelium/neurons what have you.
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Snet
United States3573 Posts
Sorry for your friend. But seriously, I think it's incredibly rude to say "who are we fooling, we all know where he's going" at someones funeral. Have some goddamn respect.
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United States12607 Posts
Guy's uncle needs to get a grip 
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sad that this happens, not everyone can deal with all that life throws at them, it's ridiculous that one who relies on a net to curse the one who dared to live a life on his own terms and failed.
people aren't perfect, and not everyone "can". it's life.
i hope you bounce back, and move on with your life.
best wishes
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I went to his funeral today, still in complete shock of hearing about his end. I listened as his uncle sang a country song, which he couldn't finish and loudly exclaimed "who are we fooling, we all know where he's going." It bothered me to see these people coping with the prospect, that because of what their religion taught, this man would be sentenced to an eternity in hell.
Respectless fuck. If that would have happened in the funeral of somebody I cared about, I'd patiently wait for the service and aftermath to finish, then break his fucking jaw. Wether or not the cult you're following has one thing or the other planned for somebody past their life, a person's funeral is not the time to share your delusions. Respect the person for the life he lived or get the fuck out.
Edit: This is directed at the uncle in question btw, not the op. =p
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Unfortunately the uncle is correct.
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That may or may not be the case, but "enlightening" everyone on your religious view to slander a dead person at his funeral is not appropriate, and should be met with consequences.
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LOL respectless?
But not only is that such a stupid thing to say (I think religion is unnecessary to say the least), but that's just a messed up thing to say in general -_-
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On November 28 2009 10:15 plated.rawr wrote:
That may or may not be the case, but "enlightening" everyone on your religious view to slander a dead person at his funeral is not appropriate, and should be met with consequences. Not with breaking someones jaw mr psychopath. And the way he told the story was as if the man broke down in sadness and shame, had a momentary outburst, he wasn't "enlightening" anyone or being a smartass. Obviously the uncle is sad about his death, and in his opinion, him going to hell. It's obviously not respectable to do but when the fuck has grieving and death ever been respectable?
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I knew 3 peolple that killed themself. 1 of them was a close friend, the others where close to my brother and a close friend of us both.
I also have 2 close friends dead, one in an accident and the other by cancer. 3 uncles dead, one on surgery, 2 of heart condition. And my 17 years old dog died something like 1 moth ago.
I have learned a couple of things in all of this events.
1.- People knows shit. Most of the religious kind of people are just frightened, and need to believe that there is something out there, and that anything they think as wrong needs to be punished. Thats not true, most of the awful shit happens unpunished, and obviously if there is someone up there is at least incompetent. We only have those moments we share, so honor them. He was there for your other friend when he needed it, now you need to be together and look up for his child.
2.- Suicidals are everything but random. Fuckn asshole uncle, probably some of the shit your friend have inside (most of it, for sure) came from his family. Anyway, his uncle attitude is a classical denial shit over a suicide.
Is way more healthy for you not to think about them. Just focus on your friend and in yourself. Remember your friend with love and not with anger, is way better. Dont try to understand him. Just accept him.
I hope my words makes some sense, is hard to me try to put my experiences in english.
ps: Johnny cash and your obituary both rocks. But forgive and remember.
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EDIT: Oh, yes, we cry because we are much more than the simple sum of our components... and because we all are fucking cowards too, we are afraid.
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That was just not nice of his uncle's statement. My condolences to you Sky.
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I know you must be going through some tough times. I'm not sure if TeamLiquid is going to be a great place for this kind of discussion, though. This will degrade into a Creationist/Atheist argument pretty soon, complete with ridiculously ignorant arguments and needless insults. I don't think there has ever been a truly great debate over the existence of God, since none of us will ever truly know until the end.
It's kind of scary to think about. I mean, for me anyway, it's the ultimate lose/lose situation. Either there is nothing after death, and my consciousness dies with my physical form. Or I accept that there is a God and that I will most likely being going to Hell. Or maybe I will be reincarnated? That doesn't sound good either... I mean you don't keep your memories, right?
I've always been attracted to the idea that I will just read through the Bible one day, sort out my own interpretation. If I lived my life knowing that I was a good person. I mean, God can't fault me for not going to a building every Sunday... can he? I mean, there is no way that making certain sounds with our mouths is going to affect how we are judged at the very end. It's the thought behind it, not the noise. So how many people have, in actuality, cursed God's name? When have you actually thought about how you hate God? Maybe being atheist falls under that in his eyes, I don't know. My point is, most of these 'rules' sound like a person conjured them up.
There is no way for us to know for sure. We're just scared little animals. I hope that there is a God to be honest. I hope that the religion that has been built up around the idea of a God is all an elaborate fabrication by selfish people. It would be great to have something to look forward to when I finally shut down.
I distanced myself from the situation, by looking at my friend as nothing more than cells, or even just protons packed together.
..it didn't help... and I'll always wonder why we cry for these walking proteins/chemicals/epithelium/neurons what have you.
People are a lot more than just protons and electrons. We are so complex it's incredible! I've been trying to write down a good way of describing people for a bit now, but I really have nothing. If there is a God, we are by far his greatest work. Don't wonder at what made you cry. I'm sure deep down inside you know why. He was a human being. At some point in your life you connected with him, and that is nothing small. Every interaction with another person that you have is of paramount importance; they are the puzzle pieces of your life! They are what makes you... 'you'. This man changed you in a way, even if it was infinitesimal... he influenced some part of you as a person. And now he is gone and will never have the oppurtunity to do that again.
So don't feel bad about missing him. Maybe he didn't go to a bad place, maybe God saw that in the end; he was a good man. But everybody has a breaking point. We are placed under so much pressure everyday, so many things to worry about and obsess over. It's so easy to live a life of regret. I personally think that fear (of death or pain) is what keeps most of us from killing ourselves anyway... the world is cruel ofttimes. Anyway, these are my (very naive) views on things and as you can see, you are not the only one with questions. In fact, there is no one who is 100% sure on anything. So don't dwell on questions that may never be answered, just enjoy the time you have with these people while they're still around. I hope your friend rests in peace.
+ Show Spoiler + I am sort of making a habit out of writing essays, but I was feeling very sentimental just now. I think this blog was very well written and deserves an honest response.
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Canada7170 Posts
*sigh*
I don't really know what to say. But I wanted you to know that I read your story, and I feel for you.
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Too bad god doesn't exist.
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EPT
