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I used to think I was a modest person, and ironically, I never talked about myself that much. I've come to know how much pride I had in me, I just hid it really well. Hopefully, after reading this, you can think about and do some thinking about your own life.
PS: Please don't take this blog into a religion war!
So I lead the worship for my youth group and recently, we've been practicing for this event. Although it's been difficult (not having a drummer, little practice time, new bass player are just some of the things) I thought we could do pretty well. For our church, we've done stuff like this before, now this is our third time. I also started to get alot of pride, (ok this is when it gets all religiously) I was suppose to be doing this not for the pride of myself or even the church, but for God. I thought that because I was a good leader, that our practices were running somewhat smoothly, and that when we perform that I will be in the spotlight. WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG
So today we had a meeting for church and we were sharing our lives. Btw, I was so happy to be there, the girl I can't stop thinking about was there, and I had alot of positive things to say. Unfortunately, people started sharing what they did over the week and they weren't as happy as I was. During the middle of it, I had to go piss really bad so I went to the restroom. I come back, and though indirectly, there was a guy and girl talking sorta behind my back, things I wasn't doing right such as not preparing well, not practicing enough for our performance (another story) And that girl, I can not stop thinking about, haha she's the same one I wrote about like a year ago. Maybe I'm a sensitive person, or maybe every human experiences this whether they admit it or not but I was offended and hurt. First of all the fact that they couldn't tell me what I was doing wrong in my face made me mad, and then the girl just saying stuff. She's a really nice person and has never really criticized other people and just hearing all of this at once while I was gone was so surprising. I got heated and started to say what I felt to only the guy but with some calm b/c I didn't want to be mean to the girl ^^ When the meeting was over, I was still mad but after thinking about it, I realized that all of this was so greedy; doing this performance, that girl, I felt like maybe I was trying too hard to make myself look good. And also, I was so prideful thinking that everything was going well I couldn't see the problems that I had.
I later called them and told the two guys thank you for telling me the things I couldn't tell, and requested that next time there is another issue like this, to please just say it to me directly. Now, I am going to prepare better for this and be a better leader, and truly be humble before others and God.
Another experience is seeing the other side of things. My little sister started screaming at my mom and told her to basically shut up. I've done this too to my mom and I justified it by thinking I'm not an adult so I can act illogically. However, after hearing my sister say this, I could tell my mom was hurt and I felt so sorry. Seriously, unless your mom or dad is a asshole, don't get mad at them. Most of people on teamliquid are in college but for those still living with your parents, respect them.
And all of this was in one day! I sure did learn alot :D
 
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I think you misinterpret your feelings when you say you're mad because they didn't say it to your face. Maybe you justify it that way, but I think it's more likely you're mad more because 1: they're saying you're bad and 2: you want the girl to like you, so it impedes your goals.
Maybe it would be more helpful to come up to you and tell you to get to work, but lots of people don't deal with that kind of confrontation well either (I mean the receiving end) and make it not worth the effort. People need to help themselves in this kind of environment.
As far as disrespecting your parents... I really hate it when my brother yells at my parents, or calls them lazy or stupid. Even when my parents are doing something inconsiderate, it makes it that much harder to deal with when my brother is whining. It just makes the home an unpleasant place to be, and if only for that reason you shouldn't do it. Your parents do a lot for you so you need to give them a break most times when they upset you (ie reason number 2: they're human).
It's good to learn from experiences, but make sure you take your time. It's easy to get excited about some revelation without really critiquing it.
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On October 18 2009 10:20 Chef wrote:
I think you misinterpret your feelings when you say you're mad because they didn't say it to your face. Maybe you justify it that way, but I think it's more likely you're mad more because 1: they're saying you're bad and 2: you want the girl to like you, so it impedes your goals.
Maybe it would be more helpful to come up to you and tell you to get to work, but lots of people don't deal with that kind of confrontation well either (I mean the receiving end) and make it not worth the effort. People need to help themselves in this kind of environment.
As far as disrespecting your parents... I really hate it when my brother yells at my parents, or calls them lazy or stupid. Even when my parents are doing something inconsiderate, it makes it that much harder to deal with when my brother is whining. It just makes the home an unpleasant place to be, and if only for that reason you shouldn't do it. Your parents do a lot for you so you need to give them a break most times when they upset you (ie reason number 2: they're human).
It's good to learn from experiences, but make sure you take your time. It's easy to get excited about some revelation without really critiquing it.
Good advice, thanks. Yeah maybe you're right about about my justifying, but at the same time I knew I wasn't doing very well. Maybe someone saying it though was why I got mad?
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Humans are excellent gossipers. Even friends makes fun about each other behind their backs more often than we all think. I'd be feeling pretty bad had I experience the same thing but I think I'll help to keep things in perspective.
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Well yeah. You care what other people think of you, so it's natural to get defensive knowing these people are less dependable for you if they don't respect you.
A better response might be to say "okay, I need to improve." Or maybe tell them you'll try to get better, rather than argue with them (which actually makes you look worse). But it takes experience and training to have that kind of response, because it's not exactly natural.
It's like knowing you did something wrong and getting caught... Most people plead innocence at first because they forget momentarily it really is their fault.
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The religion war aside I think you are living life in a good way, I just hope you realize its you doing these actions as a person and not "god". sorry if that offends you.
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On October 18 2009 10:58 fanatacist wrote:
Great blog, 5/5
Is this how you get your 8k posts?
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On October 18 2009 11:35 SanguineToss wrote:Is this how you get your 8k posts?
pretty much imo
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+ Show Spoiler +In reality, there is, perhaps, no one of our natural passions so hard to subdue as pride. Disguise it, struggle with it, beat it down, stifle it, mortify it as much as one pleases, it is still alive, and will every now and then peep out and show itself; you will see it, perhaps, often in this history; for, even if I could conceive that I had completely overcome it, I should probably be proud of my humility. -Benjamin Franklin
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Fanatacist has a good idea...
5/5 this blog was great
For real though, I'm not seeing what's wrong with pride as long as you remember there's someone above you.
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On October 18 2009 11:49 Zozma wrote:+ Show Spoiler +In reality, there is, perhaps, no one of our natural passions so hard to subdue as pride. Disguise it, struggle with it, beat it down, stifle it, mortify it as much as one pleases, it is still alive, and will every now and then peep out and show itself; you will see it, perhaps, often in this history; for, even if I could conceive that I had completely overcome it, I should probably be proud of my humility. -Benjamin Franklin
Wow a bleak but epic quote.
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I totally understand both of your points. Your first point is similar to one of my blog posts regarding the topic of pride. And the second point is something I tell myself to avoid, but of course, it always ends up happening sooner or later. No self effort, just a matter of living in our spirit day by day.
On October 18 2009 11:26 Hypnosis wrote:
The religion war aside I think you are living life in a good way, I just hope you realize its you doing these actions as a person and not "god". sorry if that offends you.
As a person, for God. There's a difference.
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On October 18 2009 11:35 SanguineToss wrote:Is this how you get your 8k posts?
On October 18 2009 11:39 RoieTRS wrote:Show nested quote +On October 18 2009 11:35 SanguineToss wrote:On October 18 2009 10:58 fanatacist wrote:
Great blog, 5/5 Is this how you get your 8k posts? pretty much imo
Isn't it ironic how my post was more relevant than both of yours combined? Fuck off douchebags.
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EPT
